Mall Fight (ENDED: New One is on Forum Games)

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I shoot Teddy for shooting RaN for complaining about complaining.

Connor shoots Tox off the tower into the fire using his ME rifle.

As i respawn, I lead a massive Rough Rider charge on the clock tower. Hundreds of Riders rush out screaming, with four MG nests firing on the tower and the sniper within. There are so many men attacking that most are bound to mount the tower and kill Tox eventually.

I die and respawn back on the clock tower,as clones keep appearing all over the Mall and the park for some reason,and they start shooting down the Rough Riders.

The Daleks move in and start helping the Rough Riders. They have also cut off the Doctor Who store, and EXTERMINATED all the T-Shirt there.

I jump off of the clock tower an-

ERROR. TOO MANY NPC'S IN REGISTRY.
UNSPAWNING DALEKS,TOX CLONES AND ROUGH RIDERS...
We're sorry,but the Daleks,Tox Clones and Rough Riders are rendered unacessible due to the registry having no space. Please accpet our apologies.

The Rough Riders,Daleks and Tox Clones dissapear and are rendered unaccessible,as I die of the fall.

Thankfully, the Rough Riders return from our reinforcements. They are weakened, but more are coming in to support the gun shop fortress.

Warning, NPC limit set to...0

The remaining Riders despawn.

"Well fuck. Guess we're goin' in alone Teddy." says Connor as he walks up to Roosevelt.

I respawn in the gun shop fortress,now happy that there is no army anymore;Just the players.

I start dismantling the fortifications and the traps one by one.

Afterwards,I run back inside the Homestuck store,and I equip blue claw gloves on myself.

I wake up at the top of the tower, still smarting from two bullet wounds in the head and one in the chest. I grab a first-aid kit and patch myself up.

Walking out into the park, I notice that several of the Rough Riders' traps and fortifications have been torn down. Most of the fires have been extinguished.

"They really did a number on this place."

I walk over to the Food Court.

"Hello? Anybody need any help?"

A another bullet goes into RaN's head. Connor puts on sunglasses and says "Not today."

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

A bullet scrapes against my ear, taking off part of my earlobe.

"Meh."

I shrug it off.

Connor puts another one in his foot.

Just as I prepare to exit the store,I decide to get a SORD,a Caledscratch and a Scarlet Ribbitar.

"Holy shit.", I say as I walk out the Doctor Who Store, wearing a Dalek hat, "The latest episode...My God, it was orgasmic."

I jump at Waffles,and I attack him with the SORD,but that's when I realize the thing is so unspeakably shitty,I have a hard time even holding it.

image

I throw away the SORD.

"Dude, how did the Daleks not kill you while they were there?" says Connor who is outside the store for no reason.

"Cause I'm the original Dalek guy, that's why." says Waffles.

"Oh, want to not kill each other?" says Connor.

I walk into a basketball field.

"here goes the man...HASS the rock" (Me)

I see HASS the rock making a crazy dunk.

"dude come get the ruler check this out" (Me)

MEANWHILE!

Connor shoots me in the foot.

"Fuck it."

I die and respawn in a basketball field.

Connor starts walking to the basketball 'court' and over hears what's going on.

"What the fuck is that guy talking about?" says Connor.

"Your telling me you still don't know anything about MSPA?!" says the writer.

"Well your writing it."

I jump in front of RaN as HASS the rock starts flying upwards,and I give him a ruler.

"your holdung it wrong. dude..... no dude.... dude hurry look he'ss escaping from above. dude,you got to FLIP it TURN-WAYS" (Me)

I then stab myself with the blue claw gloves i got,and I die,which is the signal for "I'm going to sleep,so long,suckers".

RaN: "where doing it man... where MAKING THIS HAPEN!"

I take a look at the height of Hass's jump and guesstimate it to be about 47 feet at the peak.

RaN: "Not bad, Hass."

Hass: "Cool."

Hass throws a basketball at Connor's head and walks off the court. I pick up the ball and score a three-pointer.

RaN: "i am the star. its me"

Whilst war insues i sneakily build a fortress out of canned goods, whilst using the plutonium i found (Mall is now powered by a Nuclear Reactor) To create an army of SUPER BEANS, and send them to do my evil bidding. Your move internet.

Without the Rough Riders to back me up, I return to my original gun shop and fortify myself in, replacing the dynamite traps and giving myself two MG nests in the store to use. In addition, I retain my Krag-Jørgensen rifle.

i dive into the ground under the mall using the hippie drill and create a fortress out of the basement. i shut off power to the entire mall and announce "Lets see how you play in the dark!"

Being a divine immortal, I, Theodore Roosevelt, need no night vision. I take an MP-5/10A2 with an integrated silencer, a retractable butt-stock, and a three-round burst trigger grouping from the gun shop with a full load of magazines full of 10x25mm rounds and set off into the basements, hoping Connor will remain in the gun shop above to guard our fortress.


As the last chords of the song fade out, I realise I left my car keys back in the mall. "Oh god damn it." I say, before turning around and walking back to the front doors. I open the doors and walk inside, and see a most magnificent site. Players, new and old, locked in eternal combat. A single tear rolls down my face, and I wipe it away, before lighting a cigar and jumping down in front of Tox and RaN.

I then shove my cigar in RaN's eye and walk away, leaving him withering in pain.

"AAAaAaaAAAaHhhHHHh! Fuck you, Knife! Fuck you!"

I stumble to a water fountain and splash some water in my eye. After about ten minutes of flushing water through my eye, I look in a mirror.

"I don't even want to look at that."

I put on an eyepatch and stroll through the Mall. I come across some psycho talking to himself.

psycho: "Whilst war ensues, I have sneakily built a fortress out of canned goods. I shall use the plutonium I have found to create an army of SUPER BEANS, and send them to do my evil bidding. Your move internet."

RaN: "Sorry buddy. It's already been done today."

psycho: "... What?"

RaN: "Your plan to takeover the Mall. We've already had two armies come in and wreck up the place. You might want to rethink your strategy."

psycho: "Oh..."

RaN: "Try a doomsday machine. I haven't seen that done yet."

I continue my stroll.

Connor walks up to the gun store, likely forfeited by his fearless historical leader. He enters the store and mans the sniper nest, taking shot at anyone coming too close.

I stroll past the gun store, waving to Connor as I do so.

"Oh hai!" yells Connor as he fires at Knife's knee cap. "How's it going?"

I burst through one of the gun stores' walls,and I accidentally crush Knife in the process.

"Alright,who's the guy who was playing Ayreon when I was absent?!" (Me)

I fly into the mall on my glass robot. As I break through the doors, the robot shatters to a million pieces. I run to the Cheesy Fake Mustache store. I grab a handlebar and run away twiddling it while wearing my tophat. I then decide to grab Mowhawk grenades and a giant sword from the World of Warcraft store. Its on.

I start walking around,when I see a fucking huge stack of broken glass.

"Oh,great,Mister Morphine is at it again." (Me)

I grab the parts of my Valve Rocket Launcher,ready to smash the heads of anyone who's got an extremely bad taste in games/movies/books,which is probably just about anybody,but before I do that,I check the Escapist.

"Oh,the mall is covered in darkness,eh? NOT ON MY WATCH!" (Me)

I start glitching under the ground,I shoot mcpop in the face and in the balls over and over,I destroy the fortress,I switch the power back on,and I glitch back up to the mall,but in the same gun store as Teddy Roosevelt. I grab a sniper rifle,I shoot him in the head,and I dismantle the traps again.

And for a final touch to my streak of awesome,I rush inside the control room,and I start playing this on the intercom:

I then start driving down the mall in a monster truck.

I suddenly notice the lights turn on. I hear a gunshot and run to the source. I see a dead body and a man with a sniper in his hand. As he jumps in a monster truck, I throw my giant sword at Tox and watch as it pierces his throat. I run away twiddling my handlebar.

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