Alternian Shennanigans

 Pages PREV 1 . . . 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 . . . 23 NEXT


Awesome picture there Samuel.

>Gallos:Deal with situation

When Vandin points out that scabbing the wound isn't very effective,you point out to him that you never had any plans on healing him,as you aren't a healer.The plan was to stop the bleeding.You have done that.

While you went on your little rant,it would seem that the blueblood was ignoring you and talking to someone on his GRUBTOP.You are slightly annoyed by this.

Once he is done,he tells you that they,as in your little group,is to drop the purpleblood off for your rail to deal with him.Also that Ambare sends her diamonds.You smile at that in a warm manner,which would probably seem out of character for you to the blueblood,less so to Ambare or your MOTHER.

Fine.Lead the way.

>IA: Gaze at lovely picture

It's times like this you wish you had artistic talents beyond crude stick-figures. Which is to say most of the time.

>Nilvik: Don't be dead weight

You are inspired by the sudden HEROISM displayed by Tassik who is not only helping keep you afloat, but also saved Librus. What a TRUE HERO that guy is. If you weren't flushed for him already, you'd probably be now.

But now the combined weight of the two of you is dragging down the HEROIC TROLL. That's nothing a lowblood, or two lowbloods, should be for a highblood, especially not own who has extended the grasper of redrom.

>Nilvik: Carry the Highblood

You can't really carry him here. It's not possible for you to do so without drowning yourself. But rather than focus on staying as above water as you can, you let yourself sink a bit and begin to push the three of you along towards where you hope Tirnet went. You're farther underwater than you're comfortable with and you're going about as fast as a crippled WATERBEAST, but you promise yourself you'll never get near to anything deeper than a puddle after this.



Heroic! Brave! This devilishly handsome street-tough maverick with nothing to lose is a constant inspiration to his team! When it comes to friendleadership, he is simply the best there is. But of course, he doesn't spend all his time being the greatest leader in Alternian history. He also takes time out of his busy schedule of heroism and nightly romantic escapades to be the world's top grenade launcher marksman! Additionally, he is an absolute genius, having developed most of the team's gear, including its name, an atomic bomb, and SPONDILUCKS, the team's talking TROLL SIAMESE BULL WEEVIL sidekick!


FLAME TIGER THROWDOWN's loose cannon, Gallos is one mean son of a bitch you don't want to get on the bad side of! But it's too late. You are already there. And he is already murdering you to death. Because Gallos Mearic doesn't take shit from nobody, especially not you! The only thing capable of breaking his tough, hyperviolent exterior is the true love of moirailship! Team Leader Vandin has diagnosed Gallos with severe self-esteem issues, masked by a layer of impenetrable threat-filled apathy. Considering Vandin's total 0.25 hours of psychology experience, the truth of this claim is so far undetermined.


Brigat is the master of plans! He is capable of planning many things, such as heists, assassinations and grocery lists. Although he doesn't actually have a very good track record of assassinations, given his odd habit of taking bullets for his would-be victims! He truly is a jerk with a heart of gold. Unfortunately, gold being a weak metal, it did very little to stop the bullet, and he is in danger of bleeding to death if not given immediate medical attention!


The team's talking TROLL SIAMESE BULL WEEVIL sidekick! Possibly imaginary.


With the swiftness of a ninja made of tigers (unless your teammates have any objections), you bring Brigat to the hall you started in, then go to rejoin the other, less cool team.

>Pappytech: Ogle the picture disconcertingly. You fail to ogle the picture with anything but amazement. It's a very good picture.

>Librus: Have your ear screamed in. Wow, Tassik can be loud. How does he do that? Seriously, how long has he been screaming now? Better try and calm him down. Your head hurts enough as it is.

Unwrapping your arm from around Tassik, you feel you legs swing up under you, spreading you out on your back. You wince slightly, as a shot of pain flares through your body.

Huh. Well, didn't see that one coming. So, you finally snapped, eh? Well, it was only a matter of time anyway. Still, so far as you can tell, besides the cracked ribs, sore body, and pounding headache, you're pretty much back to normal.

Now if only Tassik would stop shouting...

Hehe, look at all the pretty lights floating up above you. You think you'll just lay here for a while and try not to breathe. Breathing hurts.


Oh you wonder alright.You wonder why you thought it was a good idea to follow this idiot.All he seems to do is talk..and talk..and talk...You don't know what a facepalm is,or what low life form species created it,but you are facepalming alot right now,again if you knew what that was.

You leave the wounded purple where the blueblood tells you too,making sure that Ambare can find him and,before Vandin and you go off looking for the other team,you write in blood,not the purples as that might make her think you killed him,that Gallos <> Ambare.A bit cheesy maybe...but whatever.

You then follow behind the idiot blue as he leads you off to,what you hope is,the other team.Or atleast where they may be.

>Horkos: Don't know anything
Yup! You don't know that Librus went crazy on a random troll, Nivilk and Tassik became red, the generator was destroyed, or half the teams is injured and drowning! You don't know jack shit.

>Horkos: Know something
You know that SUBJUGGULATOR is kinda of a BITCH TO BEAT and you'll need HELP to beat him. You know you are FRESH AS MOTHERFUCKER, is this FANCY SUIT. And you know MOST OF ALTERNIAN LAW.

Wow, you KINDA SUCK.

>Horkos: Talk to someone
Jesus! Everyone is offline expect for...


>Horkos: Talk to Him

>Ancestral Awakening!
Goddamn, lawbreakers, with their goddamn flagrant law breaking. It is UNACCEPTABLE. You shall deal the with Light-Blue Blooded Gambler at a later point. You shall write a BEAUTIFUL ARIA with the fools PAIN.

>??:Be the mysterious blueblood

Sorry but that spot has already been taken.

>Fine,be the insane blueblood

I'm pretty sure that has also been taken.

>...then what can I be?

You could be the morally ambiguous blueblood.


>??:Be the morally ambiguous blueblood.

Well that wasn't so hard.Well ok it took you atleast half a quarter of a sweep to find her..but you finally did!That rustblood that polluted your best bro!

You fall out of your CHAIR and roll around on the floor,laughing at the pathetic rustblood.What could she possible do to you?You're her better in ever way.

Tirnet: Continue Searching for an exit

What do you think you've been doing? You've found a promising lead though, there seems to be some kind of Hive down here... ancient, but somehow holding strong. You entered it through a pressure door, it seems well used, so perhaps this was even the way your mystery troll went.

The inside was protected by a pressure seal, keeping it oddly dry, though smelling horribly dank. More and more empty glass bottles line all the available surfaces, fevered scrawling covered the wall. A variety of weapons were along, mainly bladed though some clubs and an odd gun or two were there. There were even some more chests, with the same odd writing on them that were there before.

Tirnet: Have a Realization

Wait... chests, bottles, all of this hidden in a stronghold...
No. Hah, no! You're just drawing unfounded conclusions. Nonchalantly going to a desk you see a scrawling notice pinned down by a large dagger. Illegible for the most part, though from what you can pick up it seems to detail some great failure, or what could conclude in one.



Tirnet: Destroy Evidence
No. Oh FUCK no. Things suddenly are starting to make sense, you go to the exterior wall back to the door, you think for a moment. This entire place is something bad, something VERY bad. But that's fine, you know exactly how to take care of this shit. VERY easily, actually.

Taking your sword you begin to make a number of tactical punctures in the long lasting, and by now VERY fragile sealing, you also take this moment to smash some windows to hurry the process along.
Who the fuck puts windows on an underwater hive anyways? That's just so stu-... oh yeah, he WOULD do that wouldn't he?

Though once your sure this play is given a watery grave befitting such a scumhole, you make your exit.

Grinding your teeth you begin another search to take your mind off how violently ill you feel.

Tirnet: FINALLY find a suiting exit

Finally, you come across an air pocket, going up to examine it you see it goes one way, and every available surface is covered in the same scribbled writing of the word

...huh, seems legit. You return to the still struggling members of your group to report your finding.

Alright you fools, I've found an exit. Odds are it will take us bby the remaining membbers of the group, bbut nothing is certain.

I assume all of you can hold your bbreath for an extended period? BBecause that may bbe needed.

>Librus: Respond to the Seablood's query about your breathing capabilities. If you were currently lucid, no doubt you would proceed to explain that you're suffering from several severe injuries to the torso, leaving your chest and lungs in a rather poor condition. Holding your breath probably isn't the best idea right now.

>But... You don't really hear Tirnet talking to you at all. Thanks to your blood loss and overactive imagination, you're currently experiencing a set of bizarre, but strangely entertaining hallucinations. You proceed to spout off some unintelligible sentences that testify towards your poor condition.

|/Ah, screw that Mac-Daddy-Velli, we're taking this hot dog stand TO THE MOON! Tell Antigone to stop bitching about her lusus, get Ebeneezer to cough up the dough, and grab the Tabasco, we're kicking this bitch!/|

|/...And that's how Alternia was made!/|

...A small part of your mind tells you that need to stop watching Grubtube videos while reading the classics. You're apparently not good at multitasking.

>Nilvik: Be able to hold breath for extended period

Yeah, that's probably not going to happen. While you are plenty used to working in an oxygen low environment, you generally don't have to hold your breath for long periods of time. And being underwater won't help either.

i dont think i can really hold my breath long enough...

>Nilvik: Listen to Librus' insightful comment on the nature of the group's situation

It's much too insightful for you to understand. You hear something about how Alternia was made, so maybe you shouldn't try to understand it. Still, you doubt Librus would be in a state to hold his breath, despite his IMMENSE WISDOM.

and i dont think Librus can do it either...

Tirnet: Listen to these issues and weigh the possibilities fairly

Hmm, you may be have a point. Though for a moment, I would hope you see things my way, this is both the easiest and the ONLY route available. So then I suggest you take a deep breath, lest this be your last

Tirnet: Engage Your Cunning Plan

You submerge yourself momentarily to allow an easy repositioning. You come up behind Nilvik and Librus. Odds are this won't be fun.
Relax, it'll make this easier for me. Odds are this will take, if I rush... somewhere around thirty to forty seconds

You grab hold of some of the clothing they have on and go back down, dragging the two along with you easily.

>Librus: Flip the fuck out. You're underwater, hallucinating, and suffering from severe injuries. Flipping the fuck out isn't really going to happen in your condition. At best, you could maybe hope for worrying a bit.

>Fine, try not to drown. Some part of you is still smart enough to close your mouth and stop breathing as Tirnet pulls you under. However, you do get some water up your nose, and it stings like hell.

You decide to just deal with, and hope that Tirnet surfaces soon.

>Tassik: Float.

First, you were nearly drowning, and now you're pleasantly carrying your own weight and no one else's. How so very satisfying, looking after yourself and yourself alone. Yes...Yes, you think you'll sit here and enjoy being so very wonderfully alone.

>Horkos: Do something for Suffer's sake!
You can't move without ORDERS for a SUPERIOR OFFICER, and you don't have one at the moment.

>Horkos: Elect an officer

>Horkos: Have a complete emotional 180





You got to stop hanging around Librus.

>Horkos (And only Horkos!): Come to a decision
You...MOMENTARILY, break a rule and elect someone as a superior officer!

Vandin? No, to unpredictable.
Gallos? Hell no, he's to boring for your tastes!
Nilvik? No, he's to passive to command.
Zerset or Raimoy? They've been unresponsive for a while now, best not to bother them.
Librus? Too many voices!
Brigat? ...You tried to CAPTCHA him once, your kinda embarrassed to see him now.
Tirnet? He's kinda a douchebag.
Tassik does not cross your mind in the least.

She's perfect!

You mean, not in RED kind of way, you mean the only sane kind of w-

>Horkos: Suddenly be pestered by your recently elected commanding officer

>Horkos: Steal from the Subjuggulator
For the good of the game, for the good of the game, for the good of the game.
You scurry toward the SUBJUGGULATOR, grab the key around his neck and scurry to the other side of the room.

>Horkos: Use your Dogtective Senses to find your friends and Tassik
You do so, you see the HEAT SIGNATURES of every troll in this building. You start to follow towards a large group of them.

>Waffles: Groan
Dogtective? REALLY, BRAIN! That's all you could think of!?!??!?! God, I shouldn't even be posting right now. I should be beating random thugs in Arkham City, dammit!

>MetroidNut: Politely correct.

I believe you meant...

Barkham City.

Tirnet: Try not to Drown.... them.

You try to make your best way to the opening you spotted, though dragging them along was slowing you down a bit, and it seems they're starting to squirm. You'd asusme this is uncomfortable, but you couldn't care much. You were just told to bring some back. You don't think Alive was in the description.

Tirnet: Emerge Victorious with your Bounty

Bursting up from the hole you first swing the dead weight up onto the rough floor and then simply shoving up Nilvik so he cn get a grip on the edge. Pounding the gasping orange on the back once you can't help but find this scene comical.

Cheer up, Orangebblood. At least this washed off some of the filth you seem to constantly covered with

Not awaiting a response you sink back down, begrudgingly going after the remaining troll.

>TEAM FLAME TIGER THROWDOWN: Search for less-awesomely named team.

They are nowhere to be found! Looks like somebody did a number on this room, though.

>Vandin: Hear noises.

It sounds like a whale is in trouble! EARTH...FIRE...


Tracing the sound of gagging and coughing to its source, you discover Librus and Nilvik! Nilvik looks like he's been to TROLL HELL and back! Or at least been forced to swim a non-zero distance! Librus, on the other hand, looks like absolute shit. In fact, you're pretty certain he needs medical attention.

>Vandin: Flip the fuck out.

Dammit, you're a scientist, not a doctor! Still, looks like Nilvik is too busy recovering from his own experience to help Librus, and you don't really feel comfortable letting Gallos near an injured troll. Looks like it's up to you.

>Vandin: Be the doctor.

You make sure Librus is lying on his back. For all you know, he might already be in shock, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't try to prevent it. You prop up his feet on the SHITTY NUKE; you can see no potential danger in this. This accomplished, you remove your LAB COAT, shout "INDIUM" and, with the assistance of your trusty DUCT TAPE, fashion a makeshift tourniquet.

>Nilvik: Be cleaner

Tirnet is right. Much of the dirt that covers you seems to be gone. You're probably cleaner than you've been for a long time. And there was that whole thing where you NEARLY DROWNED as you were pulled through the COLD WATERY ABYSS. Which was all quite sudden for you and seemed to go on forever.

>Nilvik: Freak out

You freak out in your own special way by scrambling out of the water and crawling away for a bit before huddling on the ground. You miss the feel of dirt on your flesh and don't like this cold. You hate this cold, as it is a wet cold. All you can do right now is shiver on the ground and rub some loose dirt or dust from the ground on yourself, make you feel dirty again.

Oh hey, Vandin and Gallos are here. You don't know what to think about that.

>Librus: Need immediate medical attention. Look, you're not going to say that you're in anything close to good condition. You're kind of feeling like crap right now; almost drowning didn't help improve your health. Medical aid would probably be a good idea at some point.

At the same time, you have to question what exactly Vandin is applying a tourniquet to. You're suffering from chest injuries; cutting off blood flow to your chest will kind of kill you. That's a bad thing.

>Try to stand up. Waving Vandin away, you try to push yourself back to your feet. You fail, falling back down into a sitting position, wincing from the pain. It doesn't feel like you're going to die anytime soon, but you probably won't be moving without some support either.

|/Hey, Vandin, I don't suppose you have a crutch or something on you?/|

>Vandin: Refashion tourniquet into bandage.

OH RIGHT KILLING HIM WOULD BE BAD. You do that bandage thing instead!

>Vandin: Procure crutch.

Well, you don't have a crutch on you, nor do you have any sort of stick that could be used as such...but...

>Vandin: Reluctantly offer Librus your assault rifle.

You engage the safety on both the ASSAULT RIFLE and its built-in grenade launcher, and offer the device to Librus. It's pretty heavy for a crutch, but you guess it's better than nothing, and the extended stock should make a good grip.

Besides, it was almost out of grenades.

Tirnet: Reminisce

All this dragging people below water for extended periods have brought back fond memories of you doing this same act in your wriggler days, but with a more lethal conclusion. You certainly didn't bring them back up to air, at least.
Of course you outgrew such childish games sweeps ago, but it still stirs a little something in you.
Ah... those were the days.

Tirnet: Spot the Target

Yup, there he is. That annoying Teal blood...
Say, suddenly you have an idea...

Tirnet: Commence Your Idea

You proceed to straight up pull him down with little to no warning.

>Gallos:Look upon the situation

You stand in the back while the idiot blueblood helps mix up Librus.Vandin amde it clear that he would rather deal with the problem himself,even though you offered to help.Oh well,his lose.

You decide to slink away for the moment and once you are sure your alone,you bust out your GRUBTOP and boot it up,a little smile now spread across your face.You think a little congratulations to your moirial is in order.

You click your teeth together as you mull over this new info.More seabloods?In what is supposed to have been an abandoned ruin?This doesn't bode well.And Talrik is starting to be a problem.Hassling you is one thing,your moirial not so much.And threatening her..that is taking it to far.

You contemplate contacting him now..but you should focus on the problem at hand first.Make no mistake,once you get a chance you will be contacting him.And it won't end well..for him anyway..No one threatens your rail..

You store the GRUBTOP away and return to where the other were.They seem to be doing largely what they were doing when you left,though the idiot blue seems to be offering Librus the use of his gun as a crutch.You walk over to them and crack your knuckles as you walk.

Alright,enough lying around and bleeding.We need to end this FLARP seesion before worse things happen.And to do that we have to get that key.So who is coming with me and who is staying?

>Horkos: Find your comrades
You turn a corner and-Holy shit what the fuck happened here?

>Horkos: Flip the fuck out
Nay! You shan't do such a foolhardy action! You are Horkos Corteccia pretending to be REGULATOR SILVERHOWL! The act of "flipping the fuck out" has not crossed your mind once!

>Horkos: Become the leader among these lawless hooligans
All right, fools!
You like the word 'fools', it just rolls right off the tongue. You may put it into your normal vocabulary.
I have orders from Her Honorable Tyranny, Ambare, to meet up with you all! I mentally crossing that off my To Do List!
Its true, you are.
Next up, I am supposed to take you all to the highest point of the building or some shit like that!
You currently see that half the team is indisposed.
If you can walk, carry someone that cannot!
I raise your RED SPECIBUS high into the air.
We shall survive tonight, I shall make sure of it.
Years and years of ACTION MOVIES has made you into a born leader.

>Tassik: Keep relaxing.

Can't relax more! Ambare's pestering you, that bitch.

Ahh. That's over with. So nice, just floating here. Gonna keep do-


You are dragged down without any warning whatsoever, thankfully having the instinct to breathe any of the water in. Stings your eyes a little, though, and you're kind of pissed about how wet your SASH is. Before you can continue being pissed, however, you're on the verge of unconsciousness from lack of breath. As Tirnet finally pulls you through and up out of the water, you heave yourself up onto dry ground, breathing heavier than ever.

...Oh. Everybody's here. Huh! Funny stuff. You formulate a team plan for you to stay quite comfortably immobile here until they all decide to leave.

Yes. You are the best planner.

>Vandin: Stare at Horkos.

You're pretty certain he learned leadership from action movies.

>Horkos: Become disgusted
Ugh. Could someone get Tassik? He's become a useless sack of shit, and I really don't want to touch him.

>Librus: Struggle to your feet. Using Vandin's ASSAULT RIFLE as a crutch, you manage to stand up finally, taking stock of the situation. Let's see here, you, Tassik, Nivlik, and Tirnet are soaking wet. The other teams seem to have rendezvoused with you. Horkos is spouting some nonsense about tyranny.

Hmm... yeah, you've got no idea what's happening. Time to talk to one of the few sane trolls you know.

Well, that certainly clears things up.

>Try to get everyone's attention. You don't speak that loud when you're not injured; it's going to be tough getting trolls to listen to you. You settle for hobbling forwards, looking for the giant staircase Ambare was talking about. It doesn't look like hanging around here waiting for everyone to stop arguing is going to get anything done.

>Vandin: Lead TEAM FLAME TIGER THROWDOWN in transporting the useless sack of shit.

You hesitantly and reluctantly pick up Tassik. You don't think you could get him over your shoulder, but you don't really have a problem with dragging him feet-first up a massive staircase.

You request that the remainder of TEAM FLAME TIGER THROWDOWN assist you; you suspect it's going to be a long climb, and you don't think you can get Tassik up there alone.

>Horkos: Grab Librus
Holy crap, he SO LIGHTWEIGHT.
I got you buddy.

>Horkos: Lead the team to the staircase
Let's get the lead out, wigglers!
You SCURRY to the stairs, not aware of your own speed nor direction.

>Librus: Object to being carried. |/Uh, Horkos... are you listening to me? Hello?/|

Great, looks like he's just rushing forward. Without any idea of what he's supposed to do or where to go. Well, maybe you can do something to help out.

Luckily, you can still move your arms quite well. Grabbing Horkos' horns, you attempt to steer him toward the stairs, twisting his head in the direction you think you're supposed to go.

|/Here's hoping this plan doesn't completely backfire.\|

>Horkos: Get pissed off
You don't. This actually KIND OF FUN. That is, as long as Librus doesn't rams you into a wall.

>Gallos:Follow the idiots

You just follow behind your "group",staying a considerable distance,but still close enough they can see you.

Another seablood?Here?That doesn't sit well with you.And Talrik threatening your rail is still at the forefront of your thoughts.So much for a simple FLARP session.Such is your life you suppose.

>Librus: Ram Horkos into a wall. No, that's stupid. And dangerous. Then again, you have to question the inherent danger in steering a charging highblood up an enormous flight of stairs.

Speaking of which, there's the staircase over there. You steer Horkos in that general direction.

>Nilvik: Help carry Tassik

You grab hold of your matesprit's hands and help keep Tassik from smacking his head on the many stairs going up.

ill help carry him. hed probably want me to help...

>Tassik: Pretend to be unconscious.

You'll be very quiet. You are safe in Nilvik's strong arms. As long as you pretend you can't move, you'll be totally fine! A huge liability, sure, but as long as Gallos doesn't get hungry you'll probably be third on the list of to-be-eaten. You're a scrawny little fellow.

 Pages PREV 1 . . . 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 . . . 23 NEXT

Reply to Thread

This thread is locked