Mass Effect: Coalition -- { Started, Closed }

 Pages 1 2 3 4 5 6 NEXT
 

image

-- COALITION --

The year is 2184 CE, one year after the death of the great Commander Shepard. With the loss of one of their top agents, the Citadel Council worries about the safety of the galaxy. Shepard's death has been followed by new reports of Council Spectres missing or killed in action... but by whom? The geth presence in the Attican Traverse and the Terminus Systems has been considerably reduced, and not many of the other non-Council races have the cohesion to stand against the Citadel. And of course, the mysterious Collectors skulk around in the shadows of the galaxy, exchanging technology for bizarre requests. The little that is known about the enigmatic race is kept quiet: whether this is out of fear or ignorance is up for debate.

It is with the unknown threat to the Citadel Council and the Spectres that Coalition begins. A turian Spectre, Recarius Kallidan, is on the hunt for followers he can trust to assist in his investigation. From there, he will lead them, and the rest of the galaxy, to the truth. Leads, secrets and information with varying degrees of reliability are all that this Spectre has to work with: only time and patience will tell if they are enough to lift the veil over the galaxy's eyes.



Additional Note (Please read before showing interest):
I do not accept reserves for players except in rare circumstances. Post a character sheet - or say that you will have one up in the foreseeable future, then post a sheet later - and I will consider you, though I do not appreciate being kept waiting for one person when a large number of others are ready to go.

Accepted Characters

Hopefully this is good. If you need me to change anything let me know.

Edit: Did a few changes and added things. I'll probably go over it more once I have time.

Outcast107:
-snip-

I see a few issues here:
- A few simple spelling and grammatical errors here and there. I'm sure those could be corrected.
- The talents are a problem. Firstly, I stated in the Class section of the sheet template that you can only take skills from Mass Effect 2, so Combat Armour and First Aid are both out of the question. Second, your talents are supposed to be evolved forms of the powers: Incendiary Ammo can be upgraded. Third, you didn't select a power outside of the Soldier class to build more onto the character. As an aside, all characters can still use the rest of their class's powers as well; you aren't restricted to those three.
- A surname might be helpful. Which ship did this quarian come from? Has he completed his Pilgrimage? Without details the character is less substantial, straying into Mary Sue or Trenchcoat territory.
-The personality could be expanded on a little more.

Additional Note: The only reason I spoilered my characters' biographies is because they are extensive. A shorter bio doesn't really need it.

CounterAttack:

Outcast107:
-snip-

I see a few issues here:
- A few simple spelling and grammatical errors here and there. I'm sure those could be corrected.
- The talents are a problem. Firstly, I stated in the Class section of the sheet template that you can only take skills from Mass Effect 2, so Combat Armour and First Aid are both out of the question. Second, your talents are supposed to be evolved forms of the powers: Incendiary Ammo can be upgraded. Third, you didn't select a power outside of the Soldier class to build more onto the character. As an aside, all characters can still use the rest of their class's powers as well; you aren't restricted to those three.
- A surname might be helpful. Which ship did this quarian come from? Has he completed his Pilgrimage? Without details the character is less substantial, straying into Mary Sue or Trenchcoat territory.
-The personality could be expanded on a little more.

Additional Note: The only reason I spoilered my characters' biographies is because they are extensive. A shorter bio doesn't really need it.

Ah my bad. I shall fix them up.

I hopefully will have a sheet up in around 6 hours. If you get enough people before then that's fine, don't wait for me. Just throwing in a heads up for interests sake. I would do it now, but sadly i'm at work and only have a phone to post with.

Also how many players are you looking for?

Issurru:
I hopefully will have a sheet up in around 6 hours. If you get enough people before then that's fine, don't wait for me. Just throwing in a heads up for interests sake. I would do it now, but sadly i'm at work and only have a phone to post with.

Also how many players are you looking for?

It's fine; I don't think I'll get a flurry of sheets in the next six hours. And I'm not sure how many people I'm looking for just yet: it all really depends on the quality of the sheets people submit.

Name: Ryan Warrick

Age: 29

Gender: Male

Race: Human

Appearance: If it wasn't for his gleaming white hair, Ryan would go by unnoticed by almost anyone he meets. He is a Caucasian male who stands just over 6 feet tall (6'1 to be exact), has dark blue eyes and a somewhat refined athletic build to his body, more so toned and defined than overly muscular. Ryan also wears a necklace with a design that matches the tattoos on the underside of his arms, the tattoos seem somewhat tribal being that they look to be a somewhat random assortment of shapes and symbols. But these tattoos are usually covered up by his long-sleeve shirts that he wears to keep himself toasty warm. He is usually found wearing black or darker colored clothes in order to offset his bright colored hair.

Personality: Ryan is a rather outspoken and blunt person who likes to tell people when they're beginning to "overstay" their welcome in his presence. He tends not to care too much about what people think of him or his actions. Ryan is usually cheerful and upbeat when with his friends or colleagues but tends to have a short fuse to those who are intolerant of others, or in general are what he likes to call "dirt-bags"

Class: Sentinel

Talents:
From Class: Power Armor (upgrade of Tech Armor), Heavy Warp (upgrade of Warp)
Outside of Class: Improved Cryo Ammo (Upgrade of Cryo Ammo)

Possessions: Ryan is a fan of accurate weapons so his main weapon of choice is the M-6 Carnifex Hand Cannon heavy pistol, but he also likes his M-12 Locust for when things get a little too hectic and he needs to keep his enemies on their toes.

Biography: Ryan was born and raised on Saturn's moon, Titus. His family was by no mean poor, but they were far from wealthy. As a boy Ryan dreamed of his family being famous and wealthy so that they would never have to worry about money again. Ryan thought that a great way to gain recognition for his family was to join the Alliance military that had training grounds on Titus. Ryan seemed to be a natural marksman but lacked the patience and diligence to be a sniper. He was just a normal soldier until he decided to take a risky gamble with biotic implants to enhance his fighting capabilities. He was one of the lucky ones, only having a few headaches every now and again and was thankful he didn't end up like some of the others who had signed up for the implants, either dead or so mentally deranged that they had to be put on lock down for both their safety and the safety of the troops stationed on Titus. After his implants Ryan was trained to become a Sentinel, a Jack of all trades he thought. He figured that he would be helpful in almost any situation which would help him gain the status that he so desired. During a live training exercise Ryan risked his life by jumping on a live grenade, his Tech Armor was able to absorb the majority of the blast but he was still wounded badly. He spent nearly a month in the infirmary recovering, but he had finally achieved what he wanted. Glory. He had become a hero for risking his life to save his fellow troops in what was officially declared a "horrendous accident". One of the higher ups in the academy noticed this act of selflessness and sent his profile off to Recarius to examine. He figured he could use someone who was so fierce-fully loyal to those around him that he would actually die to save them. He sent the administrator of the academy to release Ryan from the infirmary and get him to him as soon as possible. When Ryan learned of this he jumped at the opportunity to work with Recarius, he had always wondered what it would be like to work with a Spectre. In all his years at the academy Ryan never thought that he would ever get a chance like this.

Please tell me if any changes are needed. I do apologize for any spelling or grammatical errors but I've been up all night working and am very tired at the moment

General Announcement:

Every character that has been submitted, plus one of my own characters, is a biotic in some way or another. And some don't exactly fit within the standard parameters of biotics. I feel that I may have to place a limit on the number of biotic characters.

There are also some things in the biographies of a few characters that don't add up. I may send out PMs at a later time.

Other than that, keep calm and carry on. =)

General Announcement #2:

A significant change has been made to the character sheet template. To allow for a wider array of characters and skills, I have dropped the class and power system and replaced it with something a little more free-form. You will find corresponding changes in my two character sheets to help you with this.

As an aside, there are also a couple of small changes to my characters besides those of the profession and talents.

Updated and improved a little.

Name: Karo Magmus
Age: 37 GSY (Galactic Standard Years)
Gender: Male
Race: Drell

Appearance: At 5"5, Karo is short for a Drell and was often picked on by the larger Drell. Koro has a light green/aqua skin hue, but little of his skin can be made out through his thin leather suit that covers his entire body. He wears soft soled boots and dark yellow visors over his black eyes. He is not very bulky, but neither is he lean.

Personality: As a result of being tormented his whole life, Karo is withdrawn and reclusive. He does however value honour and respect above all, and will not kill innocents no matter what the pay. Whilst naturally shy, he does not shun social contact. Karo prefers to strike silently but deadly, slinking back into the night without another trace. At a young age he was beaten half to death by a larger Drell, and as a result his right eye is unusable. This forces him to resort to a visor in order to see, but it cannot match the skills of normal eye.

Profession: After leaving Kahje, Karo learnt the dark ways of the Assassin.
Talents: Karo specializes in long ranged rifles such as sniper rifles, and short range omni-tool assassination. Karo utilizes his visor to scan his environment, and it features both infa-red and night vision modes. Karo has a keen eye for detail, and can often detect small anomalies in his surroundings. He is not however very confident at persuading people to his way, and often gets into fights that could have easily been avoided.

Possessions: Karo utilizes a M-97 Viper sniper rifle, a omni-tool with blade attachment, a set of smoke grenades attached to his belt and his visor.

Biography: Karo was born on Kahje to Drell and Human parents. His father was an officer with the Alliance Fleet, and left shortly after he was born. His mother mysteriously vanished when Karo turned 10, and he was subsequently placed under Hanar care. Although his foster parents treated him well, he was bullied and picked on and never made too many friends. After graduating school, he left Kahje for the Citadel on a passing merchant ship. Karo stowed aboard, but was found by the ships captain who, intrigued by this strange young Drell, employed him as a cook. Karo was grateful for not being kicked off the ship, and had great respect for the captain.

Unfortunately, the ship was decimated by pirates on it's way to the citadel and Karo was left as the only survivor. The pirates took him prisoner and transported him back to their base, a small mining facility located on an asteroid. Karo was kept in captivity for roughly two weeks before an Alliance fleet raided the base. The fleet freed Karo and was taken to the Citadel. On arrival at the Citadel, Karo searched around for job opportunities. Eventually he found one working as a snitch to a small time crime syndicate. A shady man one day discovered Karo working, and took a quick liking to him. The shady man brought Karo to his hidden assassin school on Omega, and he was taught by some of the best in the business. Karo served the man for ten years before going off on his own, looking for adventure. Several years ago Karo was hired to assassinate a high ranking human ambassador. Koro preformed this feat admirably and caught the eye of several third parties. He recently received a transmission from a strange Turian Spectre. Koro went to meet the Turian at a small Omegan apartment, unaware of the dangers to follow....

EDIT: I have skype, my name is Supertegwyn (I don't own a webcam or mic so I just use it for IMS)
EDIT2: I will revise the character sheet now.
EDIT3: Oh god I didn't notice there was another Drell character. I feel like I copied him now D:
EDIT4: Tightened up some of the Bio.

Btw, Skype Account name is Outcast107

my skype is mcpop9

I like this RP idea let me make my sheet.

If there is anything that you want me to change I can make a quick edit to my character sheet ^-^

Okay, guys, after reading the sheets over again, I see a fair few problems with some of them. I apologise in advance if I cause offence in any way. With that, here goes.


Outcast107:
-snip-

Your character is missing an important part of his bio. As a quarian, he would undergo the Pilgrimage, and experience life aboard a ship in the Migrant Fleet. Your character just 'starts' out of nowhere. Also, I need you to rewrite the Class and Talents entries to match the updated character sheet.


mcpop9:
-snip-

I still have an issue with your biography.

"On days when her clients were less intimate, she'd wear her armor under the dress, to be at the ready when the time was calling for it." Why does she do this? What purpose does this serve someone working for Sha'ira? It seems to me that there is a bit too much foreshadowing going on here, and not enough firewalling: keeping player knowledge separate from character knowledge.


Supertegwyn:
-snip-

- I feel that we have too many assassin characters.
- Your character has an entourage. I said in the OP that participants are allowed one character total. The only exception is in my case, since as GM I frequently need to be in multiple places at once.
- According to the sheet, Karo "spots threats before anyone else". I don't like this; I feel it gives you too much power over almost any given situation. It may even allow you to ignore things I specifically say as GM.
- "one of the greatest assassins in the universe" - I see very little in your character's bio that backs this up. What has he done to earn this title? Karo's biography doesn't go into much detail on this matter.
- On that note, I advise that you invest in paragraphing. The bio just looks like a wall of text.


Issurru:
-snip-

- From first and second impressions, your character looks like a walking, talking contradiction/Mary Sue hybrid.
- - To clarify the contradiction note: he is a glory seeker, but ignores what other people say about him?
- The Mary Sue-ish elements of your character, that I can determine, are thus:
- - He is unharmed physically or psychologically by jumping on a live grenade.
- - "gleaming white hair" just screams Sue to me.
- - He was born on a moon that doesn't exist.
- - Ryan only became a biotic after receiving the implants? That's not the way it works. Human biotics have to receive a significant amount of exposure to element zero, either in-utero or secondary exposure at a young age.
- In addition to that which is already pointed out about your character's backstory, I note that you have Recarius personally visit Ryan. He sends out messages via the extranet or personal courier to all people he considers useful when building his team.
- As with Supertegwyn, Ryan's biography is just a wall of text. Split it up into a few paragraphs.


staika:
-snip-

- As with Supertegwyn, I feel that we have too many assassin characters. Maybe I'll accept two, but Kole Yossar (Captainguy42) is looking like the best one out of the three.
- A "forgettable face that isn't bad-looking" is both a contradiction and a hint at trenchcoating, which I dislike in characters.
- I have a few issues with your character's bio.
- - James received a contract to kill Recarius? That treads far too close to the plot that will unfold as the RP progresses.
- - - Also, Recarius wouldn't offer a chance at redemption to someone out to kill him. I doubt anyone else would either. A bullet to the head would prevent the problem from reoccurring.
- - Again, as with the two above, your bio is a wall. Paragraphing, people.


To sum up, some things to applicants who haven't submitted a sheet:
- There are too many assassin characters: there are other walks of life that have yet to be considered.
- Also, Jira'Kilaye nar Chatani and the two asari characters submitted are the only females present. Some sexual diversity would be much appreciated.

Ok, updated the sheet. criticism is always appreciated, it only helps me help you.

Fully updated bio. IF any more things that needs changing just say so. I don't mind keep editing to make this Rp great.

Well holy crap, at the time of writing that I didn't even see the contradiction in his bio, twice. Thanks for pointing out the horribleness of writing after being up all night... couldn't even remember the fact that the moon is Titan, not Titus wow /facepalm

I will rewrite his bio asap

Also, I now have a Skype account. Name is Issurru

Edit: Done now, sorry about the terribleness (huh, that's an actual word? Didn't know that) of my earlier bio, I had two different idea's for his back-story and personality but forgot to get rid of some of it. I hope this one is better, tell me if you want/need anything changed since i'm pretty much going off of the Mass Effect Wiki since I can remember jack squat about the games and setting

I saw this thread and this looks very interesting. I looked at the recent posts too and bookmarked it but I never got the chance to make a sheet until now. Hope this fits your criteria.

Of course I always take criticism and my skype name is the same as my escapist name. If I forgot anything please tell me.

Edit: I revised a bit after a look over.

CounterAttack:
Okay, guys, after reading the sheets over again, I see a fair few problems with some of them. I apologise in advance if I cause offence in any way. With that, here goes.

staika:
-snip-

- As with Supertegwyn, I feel that we have too many assassin characters. Maybe I'll accept two, but Kole Yossar (Captainguy42) is looking like the best one out of the three.
- A "forgettable face that isn't bad-looking" is both a contradiction and a hint at trenchcoating, which I dislike in characters.
- I have a few issues with your character's bio.
- - James received a contract to kill Recarius? That treads far too close to the plot that will unfold as the RP progresses.
- - - Also, Recarius wouldn't offer a chance at redemption to someone out to kill him. I doubt anyone else would either. A bullet to the head would prevent the problem from reoccurring.
- - Again, as with the two above, your bio is a wall. Paragraphing, people.
To sum up, some things to applicants who haven't submitted a sheet:

Man I tried to be different but looks like I failed >.>

Now before I go to edit my sheet what would you ultimately like my character to be I can Role-play as anything so whatever type of character you need, I can do that. This way I don't have to guess what you want and I can fill a need.

staika:
Snip

well I'm no Gm but I may offer some help. Why not be a Salarians or a Krogan. We don't have any of those yet. The Salarian could be another medic or a *clears throat* "A Salarian scientist."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uXiU6kiq_Ms

XD

While the Krogan be another type of soldier since we have to few of those so far. But hey its up to you really, I doubt the GM will care just as long as we don't have to many assassins.

(Assassin are like Ninja, when their to many they all suck. When their just one he rocks.)

Outcast107:

staika:
Snip

well I'm no Gm but I may offer some help. Why not be a Salarians or a Krogan. We don't have any of those yet. The Salarian could be another medic or a *clears throat* "A Salarian scientist."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uXiU6kiq_Ms

XD

While the Krogan be another type of soldier since we have to few of those so far. But hey its up to you really, I doubt the GM will care just as long as we don't have to many assassins.

(Assassin are like Ninja, when their to many they all suck. When their just one he rocks.)

Maybe I will be a krogan soldier! :D

Can't believe we don't have many soldiers that's what I thought everyone was going to be >.>

staika:
Man I tried to be different but looks like I failed >.>

Now before I go to edit my sheet what would you ultimately like my character to be I can Role-play as anything so whatever type of character you need, I can do that. This way I don't have to guess what you want and I can fill a need.

Given the characters that have been submitted thus far, I'm okay with things that haven't been done yet. I will say, though, that one of my Skype friends who has expressed interest, but has yet to make an appearance in this thread, will write either a krogan or turian character.

Here is my new edited sheet. My guy is now a human soldier, I know we have some humans now but I feel the most comfortable as a human but if you really want I can change it to something else.

Again if there is anything out of place I can edit it ^-^

I have edited my sheet.

staika:
-snip-

- The Revenant Assault Rifle is noted on the Mass Effect Wiki as being a highly expensive weapon. I doubt a soldier, on a soldier's salary, could afford to buy one and regularly maintain it to keep it in top-notch condition.

General Announcement: On that note, for future reference, the following weapons are prohibited due to their rarity, price, and - in the case of the Widow and Claymore - the fact that they can't be fired without the user breaking an arm:
M-76 Revenant Assault Rifle, M-98 Widow Sniper Rifle, M-300 Claymore Shotgun.

- Why would the Alliance military downplay a victory where they were outnumbered ten to one? Seems a bit contradictory to human nature.

- As I have said to others, Recarius doesn't personally visit people when recruiting. He sends messages via the extranet or courier, and they come to him at the time he arranges instead of the other way around.

Outcast107:
-snip-

I have one last issue with your character: How did he gain his biotic Throw power? Quarian biotics are insanely rare, for good reason.

Supertegwyn:
I have edited my sheet.

Thank you, that looks better.

CounterAttack:
wiki

Hmm I did not think of that. It was also due to having a third talent outside his class but since all that change then I don't need it so I'll edit it asap.

I have to say, with your knowledge of the universe and the pickyness of the char sheets [its meant to be a compliment], This RP looks good weather or not i'm in it.

 Pages 1 2 3 4 5 6 NEXT

Reply to Thread

This thread is locked