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I suddenly wake up.

"Oh, dear Neptune in heaven, what happened last night?" (Me)

I then get pestered on my laptop.

[18:33:27] -- tyheurianAnon [TA] began pestering etherealGeiger [EG] at 18:33 --
[18:33:30] TA: ok i'm lost
[18:33:39] EG: Oh hey, it's you again.
[18:33:51] TA: you, tox, person i'm working for who wants to surbive
[18:33:56] TA: who are all these new people?
[18:34:07] TA: and what are you doing?
[18:36:44] EG: New people?
[18:36:56] TA: yes
[18:36:59] EG: I have no idea about what the fuck you're talking about, I'm not even sure what I was doing all this time.
[18:37:08] TA: hm
[18:37:11] TA: well fuck
[18:37:16] TA: tell me where you are
[18:37:22] TA: i'll try to find you
[18:37:26] EG: Uh, let me see.
[18:37:26] TA: (fucking dumbass)
[18:37:57] EG: Wait, I'm in the same computer store I was in the first time I talked to you.
[18:38:02] EG: That's a happy coincidence.
[18:38:23] TA: oh, that's great
[18:38:36] TA: look, you're proably out maned and out guned
[18:38:45] TA: so i'm gonna spawn you some reeeeeeally hot shit here
[18:39:19] EG: Shit, then, I better get me some A/C.
[18:41:02] -- tyheurianAnon [TA] spawns you the ROCK-ON LAUNCHER --

The ROCK-ON LAUNCHER appears on my lap, which is a hand doing the goat like those metal heads and which can fire rockets.

[18:41:23] TA: it's the most metal of all rocket lanchars
[18:41:37] TA: oh, and for close range encounters
[18:41:52] -- tyheurianAnon [TA] spawns you the POPPIN'S PUNISHER --

The POPPIN'S PUNISHER appears next to me, which is an umbrella weaponized like all fuck.

[18:41:57] TA: it's a umbrella
[18:42:03] TA: be careful with it
[18:42:21] TA: (serously those things are fucking dangrous)
[18:42:27] EG: So, now, I can rock out in the most supercalifragilisticexpialadocious way possible?
[18:42:42] TA: yes
[18:42:46] TA: by fireing rockets at people
[18:42:57] TA: and that fucking umbrella
[18:43:00] TA: oh god
[18:43:08] TA: you'll thank me later for giving you that thing
[18:43:12] TA: lastly
[18:43:38] -- tyheurianAnon [TA] spawns another had grend that looks like one of knifes regular grenades --

A had granaid which looks like one of Knife's regular grenades also appears next to me.

[18:43:51] TA: just in case that guy pulls somethin
[18:44:02] TA: let him pull on this pin on it
[18:44:21] TA: and unlike if you told a science joke
[18:44:24] TA: there will be a reaction
[18:44:35] EG: What guy?
[18:44:55] EG: No, wait, nevermind.
[18:45:02] EG: I got this under control.
[18:45:07] TA: the one who keeps useing grenades
[18:45:10] TA: yeah, you should
[18:45:20] TA: because i got shit to do
[18:45:22] TA: and i doubt myself is having much fun in there
[18:45:27] TA: myself not being myself
[18:45:31] TA: it's complicated
[18:45:35] EG: I bet it is.
[18:45:40] TA: i doubt some dumbass like you would understand
[18:45:48] TA: anyways, i got shit to do
[18:45:51] EG: I already got a fucking headache, how do you want me to understand your metaphysics.
[18:45:58] EG: Anyway, sure, see ya.
[18:46:03] TA: bye
[18:46:04] TA: fucker
[18:46:05] -- tyheurianAnon [TA] ceased pestering etherealGeiger [EG] at 18:46 --

"Well, I still have no idea what's going on." (Me)

I hold the POPPIN'S PUNISHER IN ONE HAND and combine the ROCK-ON LAUNCHER with the granaid launcher which looks like an arm, creating the BLOW YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR LIKE YOU JUST DON'T CARE. I also put the grenade in my pocket before getting the laptop back in my bag.

I take a look outside and see basically no one.

X begins lighting the pile on fire

The fire pile doesn't stop from getting taller.

X watches the fire with confusion

I watch the fire with happiness, and throw some vodka at it.

The fire explodes in X's face and she dies

"Oh. Dear, a fire. Better put that out. Nah."

X respawns inside the mansion and gets back to being plastered

OOC: also, DUBSTEP!!!!!

Ryans Solution:
OOC: also, DUBSTEP!!!!!

Meanwhile, Salt gets a text message.
'That's a nice mansion you've got there, ssssshame id ssssomething were to happen to it.'
If anyone were to look outside they would see a crude cardboard creeper standing in front of the mansion.

OOC: why oh why god does dubstep keep playing...

I start pouring vodka everywhere and watch as it burns.
I step outside and see the cardboard creeper.

"Ha ha. Ha ha, very funny."

I walk outside to get rid of the crude effigy before an actual explosive attached to it goes off.

"The fuck?"

An veritable army of the green bastards begins to surround the mansion, moving on small wheels attached to the bottom.

"Guys. Knife has gone against the Midnight Crew. Let's show him the error of his ways."

I don my backup hat and whip out my Tommy gun, opening fire on the cardboard creepers.

Diane stands next to knife.
"♪My name is pinkie pie!♪"

Knife and Efink start to sing along with Diane while Rebas trys to block out the sound from the other room.
As they sing, timed charges start to go off, blowing the mansion to smitherines.
OOC: Ironicly, I'm actually listening to it right now.

I watch the mansion explode.

I duck for cover as the blasts level the Felt's mansion. Slowly standing up among the rubble, I see Knife in the distance.

I observe the spade card in my pocket and crush it in anger.

No one fucks with the Midnight Crew.

Diane stabs Salt through his stomach with a incredibly sharp knife in her image, but her pony image.
"♪Just give me a joyfull grin Grin Grin!♪"

X slowly backs away from Diane

@Salt: Knife and Efink are in their hideout...which is ages away....

Efink watches the destruction throught a remote video camera and smiles. "I love it when a plan comes together."

"You skipped like...two lines of that song." I correct as I die. Luckily, like the extreme badass that I am, I've captchalouged my gear and inventory. Thank god for the Puzzle Fetch Modus.

I respawn in the ashes of the Felt's Mansion and try to find Zombie.

"Knife's stepping on our crew man. Let's show him, Boxcars."

X looks around the mansion and begins to bathe in the ashes

I look at Salt. "Am... am I Boxcars?" I ask, confused.

Diane sits down next to Knife, and smiles, "Well, time to break them apart! They were acting like monsters..."

"Indeed, Ms Pie." Efink says before I can answer. He hands here a detonator for a secondary set of incendiary bombs placed in the mansion. "Care to do the honours milady?" He says, and Diane gleefully depresses the button, the incendiary bombs burning what little is left of the mansion. If viewed from the air, it would make the shape of a spade that has been cut in two, as if, say, by a knife.

X is in incinerated in the explosion and respawns in Knife's base "Hi"

Diane cuts off X's head, and looks at Knife, "So, what's happened?"

X respawns in a Bar and begins Vodka drink to "What happened to her?"

"Clever Knife. But like I said, No one fucks with the Midnight Crew."

It's around this point that X realizes that she hasn't seen or heard from Three for a few days... Instead of dwelling on it she drinks more Vodka

"Why don't you look on the telly?" I say, pointing to the aformentioned TV, which displays an arial view of the burning remains of the mansion. "Just wait, you're gonna love this." Efink says, shrugging on his jacket and producing a microphone from one of the pockets. "Testing, testing one two three. Can you hear me, 'Midnight Crew'?" He says, his voice being broadcast over the area once occupied by the mansion.

Diane looks at the Mic, and shouts, "HEY EVERYONE!"

I facepalm, and Efink chuckles. "Yes, thank you Diane, now I ask again, can you hear me, 'Midnight Crew'?" He says.

"This is Spades Slick of the Midnight Crew, and yes, we hear you."

"Haha, 'Spades Slick' 'ey? Or should I call you 'Saltarius' Hmmm?" Efink pauses for a second before continuing, "Let me tell you something 'Slick', I want you and your 'Midnight Crew' to dissappear, either you disbarred your little 'gang' or you get your scrawny asses off this station, capiche?"

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