I laugh from behind Grim. "This". I giggle as I decapitate Grim, and as a result am doused, in his blood. It's a wonder how Kinects allow you to portray holograms (With hacks of course). I leave the store and search for food.
I throw a loaf of stale bread at Zombie, then run past him as fast as only someone with the freedom of a kilt can.
I continue to hide in the shelves, and notice that the fighting has started to make it's way towards my trap. Grim impales Mini and stops on the aisle where the trap beins, Cookies steps onto two sponges as the inertia carries him farther onto the slippery ground. He falls and slams face first into the soap and bleach, getting it in his eyes, nose and mouth.
I begin to wonder why I sense the throwing of bread in the air. Then it hit me. I begin to wonder where I saw that kilt wearing maniac before, but I think nothing of it. Instead I remember my Scottish heritage and as a result, decide to paint my face white and blue.
Spluttering and blinded, I attempt to drag myself to my feet, only to fall again on another sponge.
I respawn in a garden store. I grab a weed-eater, rev it up, and chase after Mini, "I am determined to kill you foul beast!!"
I jump down from the shelves, screaming all the way down with a gallon jug of bleach in one hand and my trusty mop in the other.
I hear and feel the bones crack as I land and begin to laugh as I pummel Cookie's head simultaneously with the bleach and mop a few times before pushing off with the mop, still on top of his body and make it to the edge of the trap.
I respawn out in the open and take a nearby fire extinguisher.
Having learnt from previous mistakes, I avoid the puddle of bleach and discharge the extinguisher into Redryhno's face, following by crushing his face with the side of the canister. I leave the immediate area, and resume my hunt for the bread-flinging lunatic..
I drive my crane to the frisbee store and grab 2, gluing tiny bears around the edges with pritt stick. Then I head off and bump into Cookies.
"Well, it looks like your number's... bears."
"DOESN'T MATTER!" I say, throwing the frisbees at him.
I respawn, grab my somehow still intact "rifle" before gloriously firing glass into Bryghtside's eyes and various organs and driving his crane off a cliff.
I parachute into the mall through on of the skylights, and manage to land near the vacuum department on the 758th floor.
"Yes! Now that I have the 'VACUUM-O-MATIC 3000' Trilby will have NO chance!! Muhahaahaha!!" I shout, hopping on the oversized vacuum and turning on 'turbo suck' and rocketing off to find my old nemesis.
I then pass a sign talking about no Legendary weapons right off the bat, and the vacuum explodes killing me.
I respawn back in the mall, and go find the food court for a Turkey Bacon Club.
"ARGH! MY EYES! AND VARIOUS ORGANS!" I scream, before yanking my frisbears from Cookie's face and hurling them in Tox's direction. Or at least what I hope is Tox's direction - I'm BLIND.
I hear a familiar sound.
The sound... of Zeph...
I run like hell, kilt flapping in the wind.
Luckily, this isn't in visual media.
I am sitting eating the Turkey Bacon Club as Trilby runs passed me. Apparently he'd heard me before and ran the other way...
I shrug and continue to enjoy the club sandwich, as I watch him run around the corner.
I respawn in the cooking section, I grab a few of the hottest peppers and tie them together with string and grab a butcher knife from the nearby rack. The peppers I tie around my body and cut open with the knife ever so slightly, so that anyone that gets close enough to me gets a face of peppers. I strike out, knife in one hand, another string of peppers swinging around my head, spattering any who enter my zone of death, or, at least, pain and suffering
Seeing as how Mini dissappeared, I turned my attention towards the food court, where I saw Zeph eating a Turkey Bacon Club. I rev up my weed-eater and charge him, bringing the lawn tool down on his head. "Be gone, foul demon!!"
"Attention shoppers! We have just hit fifty posts! That means it's time for our first weapon drop!"
A small metal box drops in from the ceiling.
"First one to get their fat nasty hands on it keeps it! Better get to it!"
I hear the voice from the loudspeaker and rush over to where the box is. "It's mine, it's all mine!!! Now what's in it?"
OoC: Weed-eater? Like a Weed wacker?
I was cut down, and fell to the floor, before I could finish the last of my sandwich. "No... my sandwich..." I say with hazy vision desperately reaching for the last bite on the table.
"What... a cruel world..." and with that I die.
Only to respawned a short time later and finish the sandwich. "Hmm... that wasn't that bad."
I run towards where the box fell in, and throw the string of peppers at Grim before charging in with my knife held with both hands and head down.
I lock myself into the closest bathroom stall and wait for the fighting for weapons to stop so I can reap the remains of the losers bodies for supplies.
Grim opens the box with his fat nasty hands.
"Sweet!!" I pick up the weapon, turn it on and turn around just to see Ryhno charging. I sidestep while holding out the weapon. It quickly cuts him to shreds. "Haha!!"
I see Tox standing around off in the distance but can help but feel an extreme sense of ignoring him.
I then get into the one of the KFC's in the food court and start pushing one of the deep fryers to a nearby elevator.
The saw cuts a portal through Rhyno, sucking his corpse inside in a grotesque manner.
"Uh... Yeah. It makes portals. Go ahead and try it on wall."
"I'm...not a wall..." I say as I'm sucked into the portal, and respawn in a washing machine of all places. I begin to bang in futility on the glass separating me from everyone else.
Damn respawn points, why'd they have to put one here?Damn Portals, always making my life hell
I make my way over to the washing machine Rhyno is now trapped inside and open the door. Then proceed to bash his head in with the door repeatedly.
I manage to get the deep fryer into the elevator, but the final test was upon me.
"Oh, so that is what's so special about it." I run over to a wall, and slash open a portal. I jump through and find myself in an elevator with Zeph. "Hey, check out my new toy." I then cut open a portal in the roof of the elevator above Zeph and then another under the deep fryer. "Cool, huh?"
"Why-coul-dn'-t-yo-u-le-t me-dr-own?" I ask as my head is crushed to a pulp. Again I respawn in a strange place, this time a foot above an elevator, I fall through the emergency exit and into the Zeph's fryer, luckily it wasn't turned on, but it was warm.
"Hi!" I say as I slam his head against the wall, stunning him, before pulling it into the fryer, beginning to drown him in oil.
"AH!!" I shout as Grim pops out of nowhere, and grab him to use as a meat shield to protect myself from the seering grease that is now splashing since the fryer it in a infinite falling portal setup.
"Why would you do this!?" I shout at him.
"Wait what??!! AHH!!! It burns!!" I then see ryhno and I cut his head in two, and a portal opens up, where I cut.
I grab a bottle of bleach from the washer and rush over to the elevator and dump as much bleach as possible into the protal loop, getting light burns on my arms in the process.
@Red: I'm going with Grim moving the fryer into a portal before you showed up so... I'm all good.
"Give me that!" I shout at Grim as he continues to burn with the oil splashing on him. I quickly open a portal into the food court and hop through, pulling Grim along with me as the convenient meat shield he is.
"Thanks for the lift!" I say throwing the saw back to him. "Next time think before you magically pop into an elevator..."
I then walk away, leaving Grim with his grease burns.