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Wow this mall is Huuuge! I'm not sure How I even got here, Last I recall I was trying to buy a tickle me Elmo for my niece when I heard a rumbling behind me and got stampeded by a bunch of crazy psychopathic parents! I must be in mall heaven! -walks and looks around watching all the various fights- Mall heaven sure is a violent place...

I shove my blender down davids throat and liquify his trachea.
"Guys, can we all just get along?"

"New people!"
I hug-tackle spoon and accidently remove his head.
"Oopps. Uh, sorry."

"Indeed, how about this?" Knife says, standing and pulling a bottle and two pint glasses from his jacket. "Here, 's my shout." He says, poaring David a glass and handing it to him.

"Another New Guy! Old New Guy, your new name is..." I consult my Big Book of Generic Names.

"david actually thanks knife" he said taking a swig

I snap my fingers.
"Dave until we say otherwise."

Sigma Castell:
I snap my fingers.
"Dave until we say otherwise."

putting pint down gets right up in his face "no david and that's final" a short pause i tilt my head to the left "problem?"

"But we've already got a Dave. I can't handle two incredibly annoying Dave's."

"Yes, problem. We already have a David."
I point at a poster of David Schwimmer.
"You have to wait until he's gone before you can be David."
I look at Salt.
"Oh yeah, we have a Dave too. Dave, you're now... Eric."

"Schwimmer beats NG hands down, I'm afraid."
A facehugger appears on Davids face and facerapes him.

"Great, now we're going to have two Xenomorphs running around!"

*click* the facehugger sets on fire and david doesn't look happy about the facehugger jumping on him "the name is shadow"

I surruptisciously hide my Bag o' Facehuggers.

"Yeah. Sucks that."

The egg the facehugger layed inside david grows extremely fast, then explodes out of his chest.

"set anymore of these things on me again and you'll be the next one on fire

sets egg on fire then sigma

The two Xenomorphs run around doing Xenomorphy things.

"what do they breed like rabbits or something"


It's not very effective...

snaps his fingers at sigma *click* and he's on fire again

-wakes back up up in a Scarf N Scarf, Where you come for a Scarf and Scarf down a sandwich-

So first I get stampeded now... If I'm not mistaken someone tackled my head off. Either it's black friday or this is some sort of Mall Hell... And I can't actually die.. Ooo purple scarf!

-quickly grabs the scarf and wraps it around my neck seeing sigma outside- There's that Violent Head Hugger now! Maybe I can gets some answers.

-taps Sigma on the shoulder- Maybe you can tell me where I should Beheading.... -throws on aviators- EYEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH -pan camera out to the super mall-

I crash a Boeing 747 on top of David. Turning, I high-five Spoon.
"Fuck yea."

"Sigma, where in fuck do you get these planes?"

I didn't see that store anywhere on the mall map... hmm -pulls out map- Not sure how I got this.. Fuck yea... Hmm -strokes my chin deep in thought- fuck yea... fuck yea.. I don't see it anywhere on here. What Would they Sell in a fuck yea.. -ponders- Oooooh... right of course. But I certainly don't need anything of an illict nature. I'm simply confused what to do. -stands perfectly still in the middle of a large open area purple scarf flapping in epic fashion-

"Ay danno. Healthcare??"

"Hey guy. So, this is the Mall. It's infinite. It's in space. Shit happens."

"Yeah, like spontaneuos loss of heads. Sorry about that, by the way."
I toss Spoon his half-eaten head.

Who Ate my head! Seriously! -looks at everyone- You should be ashamed! Wait a second! -feels own head- Oh bother, this is really quite odd!

"You get used to it. Watch."
I slit my own throat, then respawn, tap dancing on Sigma's head.

I trun into a bear and start breakdancing, whilst Trilby tapdances.

gets up and does handsigns and puts his hand and bring it down snapping his fingers then drops to his knees and punches his fists together and then punches the ground with hands looks up at them "rain HellFire" and the sky gets filled with fire and starts raining meteors

I raise a beareyebrow, continuing to Dance.
"Leeetle bit OP there"

"Oh, Hellfire?"
I take out my wand and hit David with a blast of magic. He implodes into a rainbow-coloured black hole.
I put the wand away.

then black misty portal opens and i step out

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