"...Uh Zomb...is Sis ok?"
I answer the phone.
"YES! Sorta. She's in shock, and Knife is trying to fit into this tank. Knife, my point still stands, jumping onto a moving vehicle is fucking retarded."
The car pulls alongside Zombie's tank.
"Wait a moment, Salt, weren't you and Paddy going to the police station?"
i climb onto the tank "so what's this bad boy got packing in the way of weapons knife?" i say
"HOW ARE PEOPLE CLIMBING ONTO THE SPEEDING TANK? IT IS KEEPING UP WITH THE TRAFFIC ON A FUCKING HIGHWAY! ON A FUTURISTIC PLANET!"
I start swerving about, shaking Woon off. I then grab Knife, and throw him through the top hatch. I phone Trilby.
"Hey, so people keep piling into my tank, but I think your car is more spacious. So uh...yeah. It's kinda irritable."
"BECAUSE LOGIC SUCKS" i shout back
I turn my attention away from the road for a split second to answer my phone. When I look up, Woon and Knife slam onto the bonnet of the car.
"Uh, just a second. I'll make room for those two dumbasses."
I turn around.
"Just head to the police station. We can handle both of the Fortress Armament guards, what with us having a tank."
I shoot Salt and Paddy in the head, then turn back to the road.
"Yep, we got space."
"Cheers man." Knife says, dragging himself and Woon into the backseat while simultaneously kicking out Salt and Paddy.
"Thanks Tril. Real life saver there. So...just following the road, or what?"
"Here's to hoping those douchebags get killed."
"Yeah. Just take the 70 to the southeast end of town."
"Uuuuuuuruururururghhhhh..." I moan, clutching my head as I crawl out from under the massive pile of Schintzles and Beer.
"Fuuuuuuuuuuuck my head hu-"
I am violently sick all over the floor for about five minutes.
"ohgawd my stomach..."
I cough up the lining of my stomach onto the floor.
I am dissolved by my own stomach acid.
I spot Sigma emerge from the schnitzel pile and pull over next to him. I get out of the car and walk up to Sigma's limp body.
"Hey buddy. Looks like you had fun."
I kick Sigma a couple of times.
I set his shoes on fire.
I throw a brick at his head.
"Okay... see ya."
I return to the car and drive off.
I spawn lying on top of the car's dashboard eating a schnitzel. "'Sup gang?"
"Well, we're still driving. You're uh... kinda impairing my vision there, Paddy."
"Oh. Sorry 'bout that. But there's not really anywhere else for me to go seeing as Knife and Woon are in the back now."
"The police station. Which is where you were going anyway..."
"No. I was already at the police station, Salt went there and picked me up. Then we met up with you guys. God."
"Didn't Salt go there to find out what the hell happened at the auction? And then before he could do that, we met you guys... and... I don't even know any more."
I respawn next to Trilby.
"Well that was an enlightening experience."
"GAH..ello there Sigma." I say, slightly startled by his respawning ontop of me.
"Uh Padster, you do know there's acually still a bit of space back here, right?" Knife says.
I take another bite of the Schnitzel. "Nah I'm good thanks."
You have been driving for twenty minutes now. Your destination is only ten minutes away.
You look in your rear-view mirror. Only now do you realize there are no other cars on the road.
Terra careens down an on-ramp and rides alongside the Challenger.
"Well this is all very exciting."
I set fire to the Challenger.
Knife takes out a fire extinguisher and extinguishes the fire. Then he hit's Sigma over the head. "Bad Siggy, no fires."
I am hit by a swerving car and end up respawning in the already crowded vehicle among everyone else.
"There are too many people in here! Paddy, go hang out in the tank. You too, Sigma."
You quit screwing around and keep your eyes on the road.
Now you know why the streets are empty. There is a barricade up ahead. Several bulldozers and armored vehicles block the road, with military types armed to the teeth with rifles. They don't look like cops.
You are speeding too fast to stop in time. You're going to hit them head on.
>T-270 unit 44316
>Targeting systems engaged.
You hear the tertiary guns rack. Bursts of fire tear through an Unimog and the gunner up top.
You floor it, and Terra effortlessly barrels through the blockade. The Challenger is not far behind.
MALL TEAM: IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
I light a Molotov and toss it out the window as we pass through the blockade.
"This is not going to end well for us."
i put a cigar in my mouth then i lit it "yeah but we'll go down fighting and then we'll get up again and again" i says as i pull out an Tommy Gun and i lock and load
"Yeah, but we don't want to go down at all! Unless it's in the sex way, I guess. But this isn't."
I turn back to the road, then remember Paddy is still blocking my view of the road.
"Oh for fuck's sake."
I open my door and lean out of the car, keeping one hand on the wheel and holding the top of the door with the other.