Mall Fight RP: (CLOSED) (FINISHED)

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"Actually Salt you look like you're about twelve meters away, just saying."

"I dunno much about meters but that's sixteen and a half yards man."

I pop a truffle in my mouth.

*mmph* "Give or take."

I walk out of the kitchen and vomit up several kilograms of pigs in blankets. I mop it up with Knife and sit on top of the book pile to read.

I jetpack into the nearest lake, then fly back. "Paddy, never do that again."

I smack the truffle out of RaN's mouth with the dildo.
"Don't talk with your mouth full, young lady."

I choke on another truffle, furiously pounding my chest to force it up.

"Serves you right. Here, have some water."
I offer RaN a large glass of vodka.

I use my pen to scribble out RaNs arm, replacing it with an octopus.

I down the shot, soothing my throat a little. Then the sharp taste kicks in, and I spew the chocolate/alcohol concoction at Trilby.

Oh. And my arm is an octopus.

I splutter a bit, then go to punch RaN in the face. When I realise his arm is an octopus, I stop and look over at Sigma's computer, then back to RaN's octopus-arm.
"Sigma... are you a black wizard?"

I wipe my mouth with my good arm.

"Sorry 'bout that."

"..."
Lacking an appropriation response, I play this song.

"Holy shit."

"Pfffffffttt, come on Paddy, shit isn't holy."

"Ofc Trilby, OP as shit bu watchagonnado."
I make a shitty attempt at 3D drawing.

"So uh... It's New Year's now."

"Yes it is. It seems like just one near-death-experience ago, it was Christmas..."

"WOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH! HAPPY MOTHERFUCKING NEW YEAR!" I yell, bursting party poppers all over the place.

"Knife, I think you may have blown your load a little prematurely." I say, picking bits of confetti out of my hair.
"And yes, I did chose those words specifically to make a premature ejaculation joke."

I begin to write my resolutions.

Read more.
Play moar vidjagams.
Hurt everyone.

"New Years Resolution, destroy the idiotic notion of a resolution in the public's mind."

I read three books in a single day.

"So...Paddy. Anything else on that list?"

...
"..."
...
"No."
...
"..."

"That didn't sound very convincing."

"It wasn't supposed to."

"So what else is on that list?"

"Hmm. Let me check it. (Twice.)"

to do:
Salt
Drugs

I peek over at the list.

"In what order?"

"They're both equal below crimes."

I toss Paddy a blunt.

"Make your choice."

"Let's" [CENSORED]

"It's rather convenient when we make none of this official."

"Because of your fixation on Sister." Wait are we the writers of fighters?

"Saying that's all in the past would be a terrible lie, but at the moment it's a non-issue."

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