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I become Skeletor from the He-Man Christmas special. "Christmas! What's Christmas?"

I slink into the shadows to play the Wii U away from prying eyes.

I fall through the ceiling.
"Merry christmas everyone :D"
I get out my new Bamboo Tablet and start drawing fanart of the Mall Fight team.

"Wooooooo! Happy Boxing Day everybody!" I yell while flying around on my jetpack.

You know, 'cause I'm in the future and all.

OOC: Sigma that would probably be the most awesome on the thing I've seen.

i sit in my old armchair and play Borderlands 2 on the ps3 "can't wait to find all these Easter eggs in this" i say as i shoot some bad guys

"I may have spent all my money on books." An avalanche of books begins coming through the door, burying the team.

"damnit paddy AAHH!!" i get buried by a small mountain of books

"No where in here is a copy of The Long Halloween."

I push the pile of books on top of me onto the floor.
"Jesus, Paddy. You nearly broke all my crap."

I look out the window at Knife.
"You're a dick, Knife. An actual penis. That's what you are."

I scribble out Knife's head and replace it with an impressionistic penis.

"Don't be mad just because I technically get Christmas before you." I say, still hovering around with my jetpack.

"Hey, Knife. Your extended family's just got here. Your auntie wants a hug."
I throw a dildo at Knife's face.

"Trilby I'm flattered, but you really shouldn't re-gift Salt's presents." I say, throwing the dildo back.

I stuff my face full of chocolate candy.

"Knife, I am twelve fucking paces away from going Vaas on you."

"Actually Salt you look like you're about twelve meters away, just saying."

"I dunno much about meters but that's sixteen and a half yards man."

I pop a truffle in my mouth.

*mmph* "Give or take."

I walk out of the kitchen and vomit up several kilograms of pigs in blankets. I mop it up with Knife and sit on top of the book pile to read.

I jetpack into the nearest lake, then fly back. "Paddy, never do that again."

I smack the truffle out of RaN's mouth with the dildo.
"Don't talk with your mouth full, young lady."

I choke on another truffle, furiously pounding my chest to force it up.

"Serves you right. Here, have some water."
I offer RaN a large glass of vodka.

I use my pen to scribble out RaNs arm, replacing it with an octopus.

I down the shot, soothing my throat a little. Then the sharp taste kicks in, and I spew the chocolate/alcohol concoction at Trilby.

Oh. And my arm is an octopus.

I splutter a bit, then go to punch RaN in the face. When I realise his arm is an octopus, I stop and look over at Sigma's computer, then back to RaN's octopus-arm.
"Sigma... are you a black wizard?"

I wipe my mouth with my good arm.

"Sorry 'bout that."

Lacking an appropriation response, I play this song.

"Holy shit."

"Pfffffffttt, come on Paddy, shit isn't holy."

"Ofc Trilby, OP as shit bu watchagonnado."
I make a shitty attempt at 3D drawing.

"So uh... It's New Year's now."

"Yes it is. It seems like just one near-death-experience ago, it was Christmas..."

"WOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH! HAPPY MOTHERFUCKING NEW YEAR!" I yell, bursting party poppers all over the place.

"Knife, I think you may have blown your load a little prematurely." I say, picking bits of confetti out of my hair.
"And yes, I did chose those words specifically to make a premature ejaculation joke."

I begin to write my resolutions.

Read more.
Play moar vidjagams.
Hurt everyone.

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