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"It's how thermite is made. Now if anyone just so happens to have an Etch-A-Sketch or something on hand with aluminum powder, we can spark this and make a distraction."

I spit in the face of chemistry and offer Salt some non-iron rust.
"Why do you need that stuff, anyway?"

I draw my revolvers and shoot both security guards in their faces.


The clerk sobs.

MPD in two turns.


I shoot the clerk.

I finish dousing the area in gasoline. I begin climbing the crane, as I light a match and drop it onto the flammable floor.

I sniff at the air and flinch.


"Possibly. I tried to cover every bit of floor, crate and corpse. Fire sometimes needs help spreading."

I use the crane to drop the thingy we're stealing into the portal and leap after it. "I'm getting the fuck outta here."

"I dunno, Salt. Why don't you go find a piece of non-petrol-covered floor."
I shove Salt into the fire, then dive through the portal after Paddy.

I throw several canisters of Nitroglycerine onto the fire and jump into the portal.


I run into the portal after the others, brushing the fire off as best I can.

I leap off the crane and run after the others.

Joe dives after the door. The portal flickers as he leaps inside, the energies leaving him stunned.

We'll get back to him in a bit.

The rest of the team absconds into an empty room. It is pitch black.

Now what?

I pull out my torch and turn it on.
"Well, at least we all escaped relatively unharmed."

I wake up. The screens of my gas mask show static. "Fuck. Guys? Guys!" I stand up and slap the gas mask until the screens clear.

I take out my torch and flick it on, pointing it at Paddy.
"It's all good, I think everyone made it."

"Okay. So, let's find the exit then we can find a way to get that thing to... wherever we were supposed to take it. Which is... fuck, I dunno."
I pull out my phone and call Sister.

I pat out the remaining flames.
"That backfired horribly." I grumble. I then look around to notice 2 of our members missing.
"Shit. Guys, where's Paddy and Sigma?"

I point my torch at Sigma.
"Sigma's there."
I point my torch around the room.
"Paddy... isn't."

"Well, now we are at the crossroads. Do we return the door to Sister or do we find Paddy?"

"Oh. Sigma stop talking that a life size cardboard cut out of Paddy?"

"Zombie, back to business. Do we return the door or save Paddy first?"

I look at my watch.
"Seems about the right time for Paddy's quest. And I don't want to fuck that up for him. So, let's return the door I guess."

"Good, we were doing that no matter what you said, so I'm glad you agreed."

"Hello? Is this my quest now? I'm gonna get baked while I wait ok?" I get baked while I wait.

I pick up the cardboard Paddy that Sigma is staring at.
"Well, at least we have a temporary stand in. We can all take turns being Paddy."

"It was just so..realistic...."
I spam the artists tumblr account with pointless questions.
"Whats this door thing we need to return anyway?"

"It's something that Sis needs. Y'know. And because we're all good friends with her...uh...yeah."

You hear loud footsteps from the outside, walking toward the back of the room. You hear the pop of a trunk lid, and shield your eyes incandescent light floods the room.

"I thought I heard voices in here- Holy shit! How'd you guys get that small?!"

I shine my torch at the voice.
"The fuck are you talking about, guy? Where are we? What's going on? Where's Paddy? I will shoot Fake-Paddy if you don't explain!"
I draw a revolver and point it at the cardboard cut-out.

"Woah, woah, cool it. It's me!"

I just kind of stare down blankly.

"You still didn't answer my question. How'd you get in the trunk?"

I sit down and cross my arms. "Well this is great."

"A portal...saw...thing. Anyways, where's Sis? We kinda need to get this door to her."

The door is with Paddy.

"Look, I'll drive us back to the Mall and get you back to normal size. Just uh... Wait in the trunk I guess?"

I close the trunk.

It's dark.

I start pouring gasoline everywhere. Again.

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