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I call Sister again.

"Do you have it?"

"Yes and no. Paddy has it, but we don't have Paddy. We're also apparently really small now. We're on our way to the Mall right now."

I finish covering the floor/trunk in gasoline, and search my pockets for a box of matches.

"But we'll get it. Momentarily. If we can just work out a few...issues."

I find the match box. I pull out a match.

I kick Zombie in the nuts and grab the match box, crushing it.

"I'm not having your shit today, dude."

"Ow." I fall over, the match striking against Salt, lighting in the process, and landing on the floor. Everything bursts into flames.




I shove Zombie and start beating the hell out of him.

I smash a glass bottle of water at my feet, washing away the burning fuel in a small area around me.
"So, anyway, Sis, things aren't going too well."

I eventually die from the beating combined with the fire. I respawn behind Salt, and I pour a bottle of gasoline over him.

The beating/respawn/continued beating cycle continues.

"I'm sure the guys are doing something completely worthwhile in an attempt to find me and get the door to Sister."

I take a short breather in between hitting Zombie.

"Alright, we need to do something worthwhile to get this door to Sister, and by that means we must locate Paddy."

"Salt, the whole trunk is on fire."

I pull out another phone and call Paddy.

"Where are you guys? I can't see anything."

"We're in the boot of a car. All of us. We're small now because of some bullshit. Anyway, we need you because you have the door. So... I dunno, do you have a torch or something? Maybe you're in a room with a door."

"Something fucked up my gasmask and I can't see shit."

"Can't you take the gasmask off? And you seriously don't have a torch? At all?"

"The fucking up of the gasmask involved the mechanisms that keep it on my head despite all the shit I get up to. It's stuck. And I don't need a torch because I have night vision and a lot of fire."

"Then cut the gasmask off, and light a fire." I sigh.

"This thing isn't coming off any time soon until it stops being fucked."

"What the fuck is keeping it on?"

I poke my neck where the gasmask is clamped on. "Airtight mechanical pressure things. I taught myself engineering because drugs."

"Yes and no. Paddy has it, but we don't have Paddy. We're also apparently really small now. We're on our way to the Mall right now."

You can hear the smack of Sister's palm hitting her forehead.

"At least no one else can get their hands on it."

"Then remove them. Take a screwdriver, remove the clamps from the mask, then take the mask off."

"Well, we don't really know where Paddy is, because he's as blind as a person who clamps a gasmask to his head without a way to remove it in case of mechanical failure. So, someone else might find him and steal the door."

"You have no idea how well I taught myself engineering."


"If you taught yourself well, it would be a cakewalk to disassemble the clamps."

I look over at Salt.
"Actually, it seems Salt wants to give up. And, uh... I agree with Salt. And New-Paddy agrees with me, because it's my turn to be New-Paddy. And since there are only two other people here, I'd call that a majority vote."

"Well...I meant as in if it gets stolen again. Y'know. Hypothetically speaking. At this moment I am still perfectly willing to search."

"Oh... uh... that's what I meant too."

"Because uh...why quit when you're this far? Right? Because you do these things for friends...yeah. Friends."

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