Mall Fight RP: (CLOSED) (FINISHED)

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"Yeah... sure."

"Are you implying something with that unsure sounding 'sure' Trilby?"

"No, no. I was just... saying the word 'sure' like that... because I was... uh... thinking about how much I like you guys. Yeah, let's say that."

"Trilby man, we don't need any more tangled romantic geometry."

"Yeah, okay. I'll try to keep my lust restrained."

"Our lack of shippers thanks you."

The car stops in front of the Mall. I pop open the trunk.

"Alright, we're here. Try not to get run over."

"Is he in the Mall or what?"

"Fuck you, RaN. Fuck you so hard."
I hang up on Sister and Paddy, pick up New-Paddy, and climb out of the car.

I turn to Salt.
"Paddy can't see. He doesn't know where he is."

"WELL GIVEN HE CAN SEE I WOULD FIGURE HE MIGHT HAVE LOCATED HIM."

"Not my fault the only parking is across the street. Since you're so worried about it."

I captchalogue everyone and cross the street.

"So this is what hell feels like."

I look around RaN's modus. It's boring as shit.
I look at Salt.
"Eeeh, getting captchlouged isn't so bad. Unless he accidentally alchemizes two of us. In which case yes that would be bad. Luckily he doesn't have an alchemizer. I think."
I cup my hands and shout.
"YO! RAN! YOU HAVE AN ALCHEMIZER UP THERE?" I yell, whilst drawing Paddy V2 a dashing mustache.

"I'm totally going to alchemise myself some Mall Fighter gear. I want to see how shitty we make it."

"Shitty Mall Fight Gear would probably be like minus a billion grist."

"We're here."

I eject everyone from WALLET. They hit the tile floor at a height relative to twenty stories, killing them on impact. The fighters respawn at normal height.

"Alright, so we're getting the do-We're finding Paddy now, right?"

"Wait a second, if all we needed to do was respawn, why did we need to be careful crossing the road? Hell, why did we even need to cross the road? Couldn't we have just swan-dived out of the car boot?"

"If you died out there and spawned in a gutter, I wouldn't stop to pick you up. I'm surprised fixing you was that easy."

"CAN WE JUST GET THIS GODDAMN DOOR AND GET THIS OVER WITH?"

"That's okay then."
I turn to Salt.
"WE DON'T KNOW WHERE PADDY AND THE DOOR ARE, OR HAVE YOU NOT BEEN PAYING ATTENTION?"

"WHICH IS WHY WE MUST BEGIN TO LOOK. THAT IS THE LOGICAL WAY OF GOING ABOUT THIS."

"... You don't have it?"

"They don't have it."

"Jeez Christ, you scared me!"

"Well...fuck. We'll find it eventually. Promise."

"Paddy has it. But he stuck a mask on his face, and it's broken and he can't see with the mask on, and he can't take it off to see, because he's been breathing in pretty much just drugs for the past few weeks, which means he doesn't know where he is."

"It would appear we will have to put this whole door ordeal on the backburner, unfortunately."

I pull the string on a party popper, sending confetti into everyone's faces.
"Yaa- uh... I mean... what a shame."

"Yeah, it's kind of not a good thing at all."

"Of course."

"So uh...Sorry for fucking up on you again, Sis."

"It's alright, we'll find it. I'm just glad we didn't let it fall into someone else's hands."

"You heard the detective! Lock this place down!"

"Can we go now?"

Knife hits them switches and gets this bitch pumpin' and jumpin'. We abscond in a dramatic, poorly drawn manner.

ACT 8: Now what?

I grope around a bit, my hands fall upon the door. "We'll that's one thing." I mutter.

"So... anybody got any ideas where we should look for Paddy?"

"Not a one. Anyone wanna uh...spar or something? Trilby? Sis?"

A faint orange light shines off in the horizon, the mark of a rising sun.

You can stay and wait until daylight, or you can follow it.

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