"That's okay then."
I turn to Salt.
"WE DON'T KNOW WHERE PADDY AND THE DOOR ARE, OR HAVE YOU NOT BEEN PAYING ATTENTION?"
"WHICH IS WHY WE MUST BEGIN TO LOOK. THAT IS THE LOGICAL WAY OF GOING ABOUT THIS."
"... You don't have it?"
"They don't have it."
"Jeez Christ, you scared me!"
"Well...fuck. We'll find it eventually. Promise."
"Paddy has it. But he stuck a mask on his face, and it's broken and he can't see with the mask on, and he can't take it off to see, because he's been breathing in pretty much just drugs for the past few weeks, which means he doesn't know where he is."
"It would appear we will have to put this whole door ordeal on the backburner, unfortunately."
I pull the string on a party popper, sending confetti into everyone's faces.
"Yaa- uh... I mean... what a shame."
"Yeah, it's kind of not a good thing at all."
"So uh...Sorry for fucking up on you again, Sis."
"It's alright, we'll find it. I'm just glad we didn't let it fall into someone else's hands."
"You heard the detective! Lock this place down!"
"Can we go now?"
Knife hits them switches and gets this bitch pumpin' and jumpin'. We abscond in a dramatic, poorly drawn manner.
ACT 8: Now what?
I grope around a bit, my hands fall upon the door. "We'll that's one thing." I mutter.
"So... anybody got any ideas where we should look for Paddy?"
"Not a one. Anyone wanna uh...spar or something? Trilby? Sis?"
A faint orange light shines off in the horizon, the mark of a rising sun.
You can stay and wait until daylight, or you can follow it.
"Shit. It's working. Well that's good." I start pushing the door towards the orange light and hum a tune.
Are you... Are you seriously pushing that?
At this rate it will take you four hundred years just to move that thing an inch.
I set some grenades underneath the door and use them to propel it forwards.
The bundle detonates, harmlessly kicking up a cloud of dirt and shrapnel.
You are hit with a harmless cloud of dirt and shrapnel. Should probably get on that before infection kicks in.
"I don't have any exposed skin!" I flip a bird to the narration and run towards the orange light.
You know you should watch where you're going. Running in the dark isn't a smart idea.
I tap the gasmask lenses. "Night vision shithead!" I begin to worry about the voice I'm hearing before disregarding it.
"Fine, I'll spar with you."
I reach for my sword, then stop.
"When you say spar... you do mean that literally, don't you?"
All I'm saying is you never know when you're going to trip on somethi-
You trip on a rock.
I successfully complete a forward roll with the momentum and end up back on my feet. I continue more carefully.
"What else would I mean?"
I draw my sword and stab Salt in the leg.
I press the barrel of my revolver to Trilby's wrist and fire, then shove him away and remove the blade from my leg.
Once Salt has removed the sword from his leg, I kick the pommel, driving the blade into Salt again. Then, I pick up my hand and throw it at Salt's face.
I brush Trilby's severed hand off, then remove the blade once more, stabbing Trilby in the knee with it.
"No one else wants in? Sis? Ran?"
"I'm sitting this one out."
"I'm going to see what Knife's up to."
I draw my revolver and shoot Salt in the face.
I respawn and put Trilby into a chokehold.
"Tell Knife I said hi."
I grab Salt's face and start crushing it.