Mall Fight RP: (CLOSED) (FINISHED)

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The cloud catches fire.
Everything catches fire.
Trilby now has Fire-Cloud vision.

"PERFECT! The fire clouds shall lead you to your destination! Have a safe journey! ZALLYWHIP!"
The leprechaun flies away.

"What's happening? What destination? What the shitting hell is going on!?"
I curl up in a ball and wait for everything to start making sense.

"ALL HAIL THE CORN GOD!!"
I stick a Holy Corn Headdress on Trilby's head and set fire to a pile of corn, and begin dancing and chanting around it.
"WOLOWOWOLOWOLOWOLOWOLOWOLOWOLOWOLO"

A man floats and sits on top of Trilby's head.
"You. Walk north."

"...Are you Gandalf?"

"I am Corn God. Summoned. All walk north."

"Are you Negan?"

"I can't. You're on my head." I point out.

"Hmph. Fine."
The corn god floats one centimeter above Trilbys head. He then proceeds to release his inner gasses.
"Holding in all day. NOW! Walk north!"

"Where's Lucille?"

I try to stand up, but bump into the Corn God because he's one centimetre above my head.
"Do you not understand how solid objects work or something?"

The Corn God pulls out a baseball bat, wrapped in barbed wire. He proceeds to beat Trilby's head in. For a more graphic description, see the Walking Dead comic, issue 100. [Spoiler warning obviously]
"Now. ONWARD MORTALS."
He floats towards the north. I shrug and follow him.

"...Dude, I get the feeling that death must have been graphic and disturbing."

I respawn, then walk west because my vision is still, literally, cloudy.
And fiery.

I gather up the ashes of the corn and follow the Corn God, still chanting and dancing.
"WOLOWOLOWOLOWOLOWOLOWOLOWOLO"
I start sprinkling the ashes over Zombies head.

The leprechaun stalks Trilby.

Meanwhile I hold my hand out.
"Is it snowing per chance? Oh wait. Oh."

"How did Negan die in the-wait, shit. He hasn't."

"HARK! A NEW ACOLYTE HAS BEEN BAPTIZED WITH THE HOLY ASHES OF THE MAIZE-CHILDREN! WELCOME BROTHER!"
I hand Zombie his Official Corn God T-shirt and his Corn Headgear.

I don the new apparel. I feel an amazing power surge through me, and I stretch out my arm. A bright light flashes before my eyes, causing me to avert them. I look back. A single piece of corn.
"What the fuck."

The leprechaun makes a rainbow bridge for Trilby, so he doesn't walk into a canyon.

"IS NO ONE ELSE GOING TO QUESTION WHAT THE LEADER OF THE SAVIORS IS DOING OUT HERE?"

I pass through the rainbow bridge because I'm not magic, and light has no mass.
I begin to descend down the rocky wall, face first.
"God dammit, physics."

The leprechaun sheds a single tear.
"He...he doesn't believe...Poor lad."

Meanwhile I read TWD compendium.

I gasp and throw up corn all over the ground. A robotic voice screams out form somewhere.
"UNAUTHORIZED CORN"

I land on the ground, and my head explodes into gore.
I respawn on Sigma's shoulders.

I glance up.
"THE HERETIC! HE HAST BEFOULED MY HOLY SHOULDERS!"
I jump into a bath filled with Molecular Acid.

"Wat." I say as I'm dissolved or whatever.

"I'm waiting."

The leprechaun teleports to Paddy.

"AH! Hey buddy, wanna want pee fetish porn?"

The leprechaun teleports away from Paddy.

"Damn."

I set fire to the rain.
Watch it burn as I stab the corn.

The corn God cries.
"My poor brothers...Oh wait."
He beats Sigma up with his bat.

"My Lord, you do not understand!"
I point dramatically to the stabbed corn.
"They had been taken by the Bacon Demon! They were lost to us"

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