Mall Fight RP: (CLOSED) (FINISHED)

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Due to the fact that I'm carrying a shitload of explosives and flammable liquids, the flashbang causes me to light up like the fifth of November. Oh, and I'm blind, deaf and can't walk, either.
"OH GOD WHY!? WHY YOU BASTARD!? WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU WHICH WARRANTS THIS!?" I scream. "A CURSE ON THE HOUSE OF -28!"
I respawn next to Knife and slap him in the face.

"Oh hey there friends! Don't worry I'm not gonna do anything, I'm just a little lost and also have no idea what I'm supposed to be doing. I used to be a warlock too, then some asshole took my magic away."

I phone Trilby.
"Dude, what's going on? Cause I kinda...I uh...I kinda lagged behind you all...I was tired...the bench looked comfy. You understand."

I hack into the phoneline.
"Yeah, gimme an update as well, I'm kinda lost here"

I carve into the ground with my broken sword: DEAR GOD SOMEONE FUCKING FIND ME.

"Well, you see Zombie... I shot Knife, Salt's wandered off somewhere, Sister's gone looking for Better-Knife, Paddy's still missing, Sigma's... doing something and that's about everything that's happened."

Paddy the Second:
"Oh hey there friends! Don't worry I'm not gonna do anything, I'm just a little lost and also have no idea what I'm supposed to be doing. I used to be a warlock too, then some asshole took my magic away."

"The man is butchering the English language. Allow me the pleasure of eviscerating him."

"Nay, I shall speak with him first. Werst thou from traveler?"

"Well I used to be from earth, but then that went to shit or something, now I guess I'm just from the mall."

"Right well-HOLY SHIT SNOW!" I run into the outside world to enjoy the snow.

I build a snowman.

I rap weakly against the security room door before slinking down against it dejectedly.

I go find a workshop and start building some robot limbs.

Paddy the Second:
"Well I used to be from earth, but then that went to shit or something, now I guess I'm just from the mall."

"Hmm, one of the Fighters. I have a task for you, traveler, if you are interested."

I clap my hands even further together. "Now you're talking! What can I do for you?"

"GODDAMIT I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE."

He points deep into the woods, his hand glowing in the dark night.

"Not two miles toward the rising sun, across the river Charon lies Harstrad. Take this."

He hands you a staff wrapped in wool.

"Present it to the villagers and return here. You will be rewarded."

After walking, well, limping for a while, I come across some markings carved into The Mall's tiles, as if scrawled by a madman. "Oi Salt, you around?!" I yell, cupping my hands together.

"Knife? KNIFE THANK GOD WHERE ARE YOU!?"

I take the staff and carefully store it in my bag. "I won't let you down!" I begin to run towards the rising sun. "I hope."

"Wait Charon!?"

I peer over Knifes shoulder.
"Thats some crazy looking scribblings there"

"Indeed." I say to Sigma, before walking in the direction of Salt's voice.
"Decided to go for a little walk did we?" I say, upon finding him slumped against the door of the sercurity center.

"So, was there a reason you came up here Sis, or did you just want to say some vague bullshit?" Knife asks.

I walk over to Knife, holding a fire ax and a metal hand.
"Could you do me a favour and lop my hand off?" I ask, holding out my arm and handing Knife the ax. On my wrist is a fairly-irregular dotted line.

"I tried to follow Sis to other you. And failed."

I take the metal hand, slap Trilby with it, then grab the fire axe and stab the point (opposite the blade) into his chest. "Wait, why's Sister looking for Knife?" I ask, turning back to Salt.

Paddy the Second:
"Wait Charon!?"

"Aye, now run along. Things to do, people to see, all that stuff."

They leave.

"This is moderately worrying, but no more so than anything else I've done recently." I tell myself as I continue running.

"Getting away from the others presumably."

I pull the ax out of my chest, swing it at Knife's head, then collapse, dead.
I respawn next to Knife and grab my hand back.
"Dude, I ask you to do one thing, and you fuck it up."
I rest my wrist on the wall, then awkwardly start hacking it off.

I take out Blendsword and lop Trilby's arm off.
"There you go :D"

"Sigma. Sigma, I only brought the hand with me. Jesus H Fuck."
I slam the fire ax into Sigma's crotch, then run back to my workshop before I bleed out.

"Trilby, saying I fucked up is implying that I wanted to do it right." I say after ducking the axe.

I fail to hear Knife, due to me being back in my workshop, attempting to attach a hand-less, metal arm to my bloody stump.

Paddy the Second:
"This is moderately worrying, but no more so than anything else I've done recently." I tell myself as I continue running.

You arrive at the river Charon.

It is quite wide, and there are no boats nearby. To the Southeast, the river narrow between two high hills. Northwest, you spot water waking over a trail of stones.

The waters here are calm. How will you cross?

I adjust some of the dials in Peake's hilt and set it to its coldest (see the fight between us and those owl shitheads in that part where Salt was living out his Batman fanfiction) and freeze the water directly in front of me. I continue to do this and walk across to the other side.

You promptly freeze the river, along with the surrounding countryside. The river dams, and a population of forest animals shake their collective paws, hooves, and wings at you. You make it across in spite of them.

The old crazy guy said the town was across the river. If it hasn't been frozen over, it may be along the river either to Northwest or Southeast. Or it could be inland.

Your call.

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