Mall Fight RP: (CLOSED) (FINISHED)

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"Indeed." I say to Sigma, before walking in the direction of Salt's voice.
"Decided to go for a little walk did we?" I say, upon finding him slumped against the door of the sercurity center.

"So, was there a reason you came up here Sis, or did you just want to say some vague bullshit?" Knife asks.

I walk over to Knife, holding a fire ax and a metal hand.
"Could you do me a favour and lop my hand off?" I ask, holding out my arm and handing Knife the ax. On my wrist is a fairly-irregular dotted line.

"I tried to follow Sis to other you. And failed."

I take the metal hand, slap Trilby with it, then grab the fire axe and stab the point (opposite the blade) into his chest. "Wait, why's Sister looking for Knife?" I ask, turning back to Salt.

Paddy the Second:
"Wait Charon!?"

"Aye, now run along. Things to do, people to see, all that stuff."

They leave.

"This is moderately worrying, but no more so than anything else I've done recently." I tell myself as I continue running.

"Getting away from the others presumably."

I pull the ax out of my chest, swing it at Knife's head, then collapse, dead.
I respawn next to Knife and grab my hand back.
"Dude, I ask you to do one thing, and you fuck it up."
I rest my wrist on the wall, then awkwardly start hacking it off.

I take out Blendsword and lop Trilby's arm off.
"There you go :D"

"Sigma. Sigma, I only brought the hand with me. Jesus H Fuck."
I slam the fire ax into Sigma's crotch, then run back to my workshop before I bleed out.

"Trilby, saying I fucked up is implying that I wanted to do it right." I say after ducking the axe.

I fail to hear Knife, due to me being back in my workshop, attempting to attach a hand-less, metal arm to my bloody stump.

Paddy the Second:
"This is moderately worrying, but no more so than anything else I've done recently." I tell myself as I continue running.

You arrive at the river Charon.

It is quite wide, and there are no boats nearby. To the Southeast, the river narrow between two high hills. Northwest, you spot water waking over a trail of stones.

The waters here are calm. How will you cross?

I adjust some of the dials in Peake's hilt and set it to its coldest (see the fight between us and those owl shitheads in that part where Salt was living out his Batman fanfiction) and freeze the water directly in front of me. I continue to do this and walk across to the other side.

You promptly freeze the river, along with the surrounding countryside. The river dams, and a population of forest animals shake their collective paws, hooves, and wings at you. You make it across in spite of them.

The old crazy guy said the town was across the river. If it hasn't been frozen over, it may be along the river either to Northwest or Southeast. Or it could be inland.

Your call.

I adjust the dials again, hoping to reverse the effects. "Probably shouldn't have turned it up that high." I mutter before continuing inland.

"Dude Knife...what if like...one of us is secretly an incubus or something?"

"I..what?" I cock my head to the side. "Salt did you get into Paddy's stash?"

I walk back over to Knife and Salt, now two-armed once more.
"What're you talking about now?" I ask.

"Whether or not someone among us is an incubus. Succubi are out of the running by default."

"Why would you think that?"

"I'unno. Just...what if?"

"Yes Salt, YOU are the incubus. You cannot trick us into thinking otherwise."

"Considering that I have had sex with Paddy multiple times and he still has his soul, no."

"Paddy is probably lacking in the soul department."

"Listen, I doubt you honestly want to risk testing this yourself. So there is one less suspect on the succubus/incubus list."

My tulpa slaps Zombie in the face and holds up a (definitely not stolen) iphone, playing a video of me. "I heard that!"

"Salt, I think you've gone a bit stir crazy. Then again, who hasn't?"

"THERE'S A PRESENT DANGER AND YOU'RE IGNORING IT! Paddy, who among us is the most likely to be an incubus and or succubus?"

"How is there a present danger? There's only one woman here, who nobody apart from you has tried to have sex with, and the only people who have had sex with other men are you, Salt, and Paddy." I remind Salt.

"Sex with her isn't my priority, despite how many of you primally perceive my past advances."

I superglue a pair of unbelievably shitty horns to Salts forehead.
"I agree with Trilby. Besides, everyone knows Demons arn't real."

"Pretty sure you've summoned smoothie demons or some bullshit at some point. And get that shit off me."

I poke the shitty horns on Salt's head. "Yea nah they're superglued on." I say, "Congratulations Salt, your the new incubus."

Somewhere, a jukebox starts playing.

"It's not like I was having intercourse with anyone either way."

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