Mall Fight RP: (CLOSED) (FINISHED)

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"..."
"Something about this adventure seems really corny." I say.

I respawn behind Knife and punch him in the spine.
"NO! I WILL NOT LET YOU MAKE TECHNICALLY CORRECT PUNS!"

"Attacking a man in the back? That really is spineless Trilby."

My tulpa appears next to Knife.
"Do I sense...
PUNS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???????????????????????"

"Yes, yes you do."

A swarm of Pun-Bears stampedes towards Knife.

I punch my mechanical hand through the back of Knife's skull, grab his spinal cord and plant a foot on his lower back. With a sharp pull back with my hand, and a forceful kick downwards, I tear Knife's spine out.
"Not as spineless as you."

I respawn and nudge my body with my foot. "Yea well after that last pun that really was a no brainier wasn't it." I say.

I am then crushed by a group of stampeding Pun-Bears and respawn again. "Ugh, that was unbearable."

I throttle Knife with his own spinal cord.

"You know I feel you've got a bone to pick with me Trilby."

I shoot Knife in the head.

I respawn. "Well I...uh, fuck. I can't think of a pun." I say with a shrug, "My brain's shot."

I am filled with such burning rage that I catch fire.
As in, I literally ignite.
"FUCK."

"I know Scotsmen are known for their fiery personalities, but this is ridicules!"

"You're just fanning the flames, Knife."

I stab Knife in the chest.

The puns cause my tulpa to overload and burst into flames.

I look down at my chest. "Gee, shanks."

"That pun cut like a knife."

I start repeatedly kicking Knife in the groin until he dies.
Somehow.

Everyone is eaten by rampaging Pun Bears. They supercombine into the Mother Bear, which eats the Multiverse.

The End

Everything respawns. Again.

"Wow, that really took balls to do."

"GOD DAMMIT KNIFE!"
I pull the pin out of a grenade, then ram it down Knife's throat.

"You should really watch that explo-" The grenade goes off, and I respawn. "-sive temper of yours Trilby."

I set Knife on fire, then start throwing bottles of vodka at his head.

"I always knew I was pretty hot stuff, thanks." I say, catching one of the bottles and taking a swig. I don't get very far, as the contents of the bottle also catch on fire and cause it to explode.

I respawn.

I knock Knife out and start sewing his lips shut.

I fall onto my still burning dead body and burn to death, then respawn. "You know any attempt to stop me now would be a mute point."

I remove my eardrums.

"How come everyone else gets to have fun with puns?"

OoC: can i join at some point?

[OOC: Yeah sure. We're basically walking about with no goal, waiting for Paddy to finish his quest.]
I give the Corn God some chocolate.

((OoC: Hell you could probably join right now, just make puns with the others while:))

I wait for the narrator to return. "Come on you omniscient asshole!"

I make a noose, then hang it from a sturdy... something... and put the noose around Knife's neck.
Then, I draw a sword, chop off Knife's shins and kick them away, causing him to be hanged.

"Eh fine by me." I say with a shrug, "It's not like I was doing anything other than hanging around anyway."

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