Mall Fight RP: (CLOSED) (FINISHED)

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"Fuck you, Knife."

"I would prefer you didn't." I say, respawning, "I'm sure Salt wouldn't mind though, he is an Incubus after all."

"Knife, if I wanted to fuck you, you'd know. Because I'd be hitting on you, instead of just hitting you." I point out.

"True, at the moment you just seem to be a very mad hatter."

I superglue some elf-ears onto Knife's head.
"Look, Knife. Look with your special eyes."

I look around to see... "GASP, MY BRAN!" I point to a pile of bran nearby, currently being eaten by Pun Bears.

"And don't you forget it, Knifey." I say.
Then I throw a knife into Knife's face.

The corn god starts beating Trilby to death with his baseball bat.

"4800 contacts? They can't take my brand"

"This is incredibly stup-" I start to say, before getting my head smashed in.
I respawn next to Sigma.
"-id."

"Damn."

"Augh, wounded by my own namesake! That really cuts deep Trilby."

I find a gardening shop, get a lawnmower and then re-enact the lawnmower scene from Braindead, with Knife as the zombies.

"Trilby, you seem to have alot of pent up anger, I mean all I'm doing is makung puns and you keep mowing me down every time."

I find a freezer, get a load of ice cubes, then start shoving them into Knife's mouth, nose and ears. Once his head is sufficiently filled with ice, I grab a two-by-four and smack Knife in the face with it.

"You need to chill out Trilby."

I sigh.
"Shoulda seen that one coming..."

"Oi!" I slap Salt over the back of the head, "I'm the one that does the puns, no use Trilby giving us both the cold shoulder."

I grab a power sander, and start sanding Knife's face off.

"Gee, you could sand to not be that rough with me."

I start drilling Knife's heart.

"You know, I don't think your heart's in it anymore Trilby."

"That one wasn't as good." I say, as I start drowning Knife with milk.

"This is udderly ridiculous."

Paddy the Second:
"Come on you omniscient asshole!"

What? What did I do?

You have been following the trail inland for only twelve seconds. You should get a move on if you want to reach Harstrad by nightfall.

"Salt, fuck off, these are my puns." I say. "Unless you want Trilby to kick you up your dairy-air."

I run towards Harstrad. "Razzafrickinioughtashowhimathingortwo." I mumble as I go.

I eat some blueberries.

I draw an Eldritch Summoning Circle and begin chanting.

"That was just cheesy."

I rip Knife's tongue out and start choking him with it

"Trilby, while I'm flattered that you'd slip me some tongue, I am not a Homosexual."

"Not yet, anyway." I say, before ramming two spoons through Knife's eyes and swirling his brain around with them.

"...How long has other you been talking with Sis? It's been like...3 hours."

"現̨̨̧̥̤̠͚͚͕̪̇͆ͭͮd̢̛̩̮̥̥̫̤̱̫̼͓̟ͧ̏ͯ͋͢g̡̡̢̛̪̭̼̼͉̭̯͈̦ͪ͐ͭͧ̈́̐͟在̳̞̪͚̫̪̜̻̗̙̾ͧͫ̇͜"
I continue chanting and whispering as a strange, horrible pressure fills the air around the Circle. A shiver passes through me, but I carry on, scratching symbols in a triangular pattern.

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