Mall Fight RP: (CLOSED) (FINISHED)

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"I could've, but I really didn't feel like it."

I eat some corn.
"This is real good. You should try some."

I bash the Corn God's head into the door.

I teleport out the way. I then dump some steaming hot corn down the inside of Salts top.

"FOR FUCK'S SAKE!" I run back to the river and follow it to Harstrad.

My tulpa falls over in shock at what is happening.

I stab Corn God in the face with Swordblend.
"Goddammit I thought I killed you three years ago!"

"You can never kill a god!"
I bash Nega Sig's head in.

I begin bashing my head into the wall, partially waiting for Sister to respawn.

The door opens. Sister steps out, too drunk to notice the blood and bits of skull streaming down the side of her head.

"Oh. It's you."

Paddy the Second:
"FOR FUCK'S SAKE!" I run back to the river and follow it to Harstrad.

You follow the river into the highlands. You easily spot the village atop one of the many hills, and arrive after an hour's walk.

image
(noirlac)

Now what?

"Uh... Sis. You have something in your hair." I point out. "You might want to get that, unless you're going for the whole 'abomination brought back from beyond the grave' look."

"Fuck inside jokes. Fuck 'em."

"Uh... what?"

I jog over to the nearest villager. "Hey there, I have this thing from some warlocks I'm supposed to deliver to here. You wanna take it?"

"Should I be concerned about the copious smell of alcohol and blood emanating from the room?"

A small trickle of blood leaks down my face.

I scramble to my feet, blood dripping from the side of my head. I pick up Swordblend and narrow my eyes.
"Alright you bastard, let's finish this. I'm about to become a Cereal-Killer. When we're done here, I'll bury you so far down tha-"
I notice Sister.
I sidle up next to Sigma.
"Pssst."

.

I glance at NSC.
"What?"

"Cause y'know. Substance abuse is kind of a serious issue. And self harm."

"Isn't that the Huge Bitch?"

I look over to where NSC is pointing.
"...Yes."

I ponder for a moment.
"...Let's set her on fire."

"Sigma, I can already hear you talking to yourself over there."

I cover Sister in burning Napalm.

I look at Sister, then down at my sword.
"Yes. Let's."
I cover Sister in petrol and throw a Molotov at her face.

I fistbump Sigma.
"Fire bros for life yo."

I whap both Sigmas on the back of the head.

"Could you both do us all a great favor and fucking stop?"

I cough and look away.
"Sorry. Reflex."

My tulpa continues to stare in shock at the stupidity in front of him.

I look at Salt.
"You're just jealous cos we make her hotter than you do."

"You better make that reflex fucking learn the shit it is not to do around me."

I jam my thumbs in Nega Sigma's eyes.

I make a smoothie and give it to Paddy's Tulpa.

My tulpa pours the smoothie into his face, missing with most of it.

"I believe we have made it clear comments such as the one that Nega Sigma made are not to be spoken."

"Oops, sore subject. Wouldn't wan to make things...heated...after all, would I?"
I swerve under Salts hands take a few steps back, grinning.

I strangle Nega Sigma and begin beating his head in with my cane.

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