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Sister cannot come out and see this. She is passed out over a desk, having drowned her misery and abandonment in liquor.

Come on girl, it's only been a week and a half.

I weigh my options.

>Pick lock despite blindness.
>Read more ASOS and cry harder.

"What in all of holy hell is going on here!?"
I grab Sigma by the throat and lift him into the air.
"Explain this tomfoolery!"

I teleport to Salt.
"What are you doing mortal fool?"

"Uh...there's a girl in there I'm sort of concerned about given she isn't responding and she's been in there for balls knows how long and I'm pretty sure I smell a fuckton of alcohol."

"Ugh. I'll sort this out."
I teleport into the room, and beat Sisters brain in instantly. I return to Salt.
"Fixed it."

"Now I smell blood and alcohol. I think you just made things like twelve times worse."

I wipe the bat on Salts back.
"Blood just stains. Horrible."

"...Is that barbed wire on whatever the fuck you're rubbing me with."

I start hitting the door in an attempt to break it open.

Knife opens the door and looks at Salt. "I assume you have something to do with the guy in the corny suit beating Sis's brains in?"

I meanwhile wonder what the fuck is going on.


"It literally just happened. Fuck you're carring on like she won't respawn."

I throw Sigma at Knife's head.
"Will someone explain why everything has turned to stupid?"

"Ow, I don't fucking know!" I yell at Trilby, trying (and failing) to avoid Sigma's body.

"Well fucking christ man, at least help me open the damn door."

"I could've, but I really didn't feel like it."

I eat some corn.
"This is real good. You should try some."

I bash the Corn God's head into the door.

I teleport out the way. I then dump some steaming hot corn down the inside of Salts top.

"FOR FUCK'S SAKE!" I run back to the river and follow it to Harstrad.

My tulpa falls over in shock at what is happening.

I stab Corn God in the face with Swordblend.
"Goddammit I thought I killed you three years ago!"

"You can never kill a god!"
I bash Nega Sig's head in.

I begin bashing my head into the wall, partially waiting for Sister to respawn.

The door opens. Sister steps out, too drunk to notice the blood and bits of skull streaming down the side of her head.

"Oh. It's you."

Paddy the Second:
"FOR FUCK'S SAKE!" I run back to the river and follow it to Harstrad.

You follow the river into the highlands. You easily spot the village atop one of the many hills, and arrive after an hour's walk.


Now what?

"Uh... Sis. You have something in your hair." I point out. "You might want to get that, unless you're going for the whole 'abomination brought back from beyond the grave' look."

"Fuck inside jokes. Fuck 'em."

"Uh... what?"

I jog over to the nearest villager. "Hey there, I have this thing from some warlocks I'm supposed to deliver to here. You wanna take it?"

"Should I be concerned about the copious smell of alcohol and blood emanating from the room?"

A small trickle of blood leaks down my face.

I scramble to my feet, blood dripping from the side of my head. I pick up Swordblend and narrow my eyes.
"Alright you bastard, let's finish this. I'm about to become a Cereal-Killer. When we're done here, I'll bury you so far down tha-"
I notice Sister.
I sidle up next to Sigma.


I glance at NSC.

"Cause y'know. Substance abuse is kind of a serious issue. And self harm."

"Isn't that the Huge Bitch?"

I look over to where NSC is pointing.

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