Mall Fight RP: (CLOSED) (FINISHED)

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"Sig, dude, not at all helping."

Paddy the Second:
"Welp. Fear not good sir, for I am a mall fighter, famed across the galaxies for my heroism, when it goes right, and I will protect your town!" I wish the others were here.

"I'll believe that when I see it."

Saltarius:
"Hey uh...Sis. By any chance can you read braille?"

"People actually use braille?"

"I'm considering if I should be offended."

"Sig, the plan's shot."

"Plan B"
I stab Sister in the eyes with the Anti-Ghost spikes.

"OH, THAT REALLY HELPED!"

I turn to Salt, still holding the spikes in Sisters eyes.
"Well now she's blind. So she'll have to learn braille."

"Sigma, for fuck's sake, who did you think would thereotically teach her? I'm blind too, dumbass!"

"Hey there buddy, keep that sass mouth up and I'll leave you to the warlocks."

"...Blind People Magic?"

"It doesn't exist Sigma. You have completely destroyed an already hopeless plan further."

Paddy the Second:
"Hey there buddy, keep that sass mouth up and I'll leave you to the warlocks."

"I'm not your buddy, guy."

"Blind people magic... What is wrong with you?"

I tear the spikes out of Sisters eyes, and drop them on the floor.
"All my life...I believed a lie..."

"So uh...sorry about the uh...eye thing."

"Oh. That's no big deal."

She grabs a spike and jams it in her skull.

Sister respawns, perfectly fine.

"Of course. So anwyays, Sis...should I be concerned about that cloying scent of alcohol coming from the office?"

"What cloying scent of alcohol?"

I shoot Sister in the eyes again.

"You sort of came out smelling like a a bar exploded."

"That's it, warlocks for everyone!" I turn to leave.

"Actually that was me." Knife says. "Though to be fair it didn't explode, it just got shaken up a bit by this dropkick from the Dark Brotherhood."

I walk over to Paddy's tulpa.

"...Should I even try?"

Blinding pillars of light flash over Salt as my tulpa turns to face him. "Guess it's lucky you're blind."

"You didn't answer my question."

"Could you rephrase it so I have an ides of what's going on?"

"Consider the looming holiday before us."

I lean over and whisper in Salts ear.
"Looooooooooooverboy, you're playing those hearts like toys,
Don't you feel bad, don't you feel bad?
Filled with repent?"

"Hold on a sec." My tulpa digs around in his bag, pulling out a card and handing it to Salt.

"Sigma, number one, I don't know what song you're quoting. Paddy, two, I don't trust that card."

"It's a very romantic and fitting card, isn't it Sig?"

"Dude you Mat at Six what the hell is wrong with you?"

"I'm not even sure a card is going to work, dude."

"Trust me, this card will work."

"No offense, but I don't trust you as far as I can throw you on this matter."

"Dude that is the most romantic card I've ever seen. Ever."

"Being only semi solid you could either throw me incredibly far or not at all depending on how I choose to be."

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