Mall Fight RP: (CLOSED) (FINISHED)

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I pull Knife aside.
"Roll with it dude. I have an overarching plan."

I walk away with Sigma.
"Let's go fill that office Sis was in with smoothies."

"Right well...probably should get some then."

"Plan."
I grab my Blender and a long plastic tube. I attache the tube to the vent in Sisters office and the other end to the blender.
"Bring the fruit yo."

I grab several different fruits. Mangoes, oranges, bananas, some more mangoes, and much more, amazing and tasty fruit.
"This can't possibly have any negative consequences."

"Mate I never lost it. Now go find some flowers man, I'll catch up." Knife says with a grin that dissappears as he faces Zombie. "Mate, just go ok. I couldn't care less about whatever 'Overarching plan' bullshit you have if I tried but where's the logic in...this?"

"Well...I mean it's not like I can judge flower quality Knife."

"Pffffff that's impossible"
I throw all the fruit in, along with a table, several passing Bulgarians and some hellfire for good measure.

"This smoothie is looking delicious."
I eat a spare mango while waiting.

I float up to Salt and Knife.
"What are you foolish mortals babbling about?"

"Aaaaw yea, delish as hell yo."
I slice in some turmeric, attach the lid and switch it onto full power.
Somewhere deep beneath our feet, a cosmic power rumbles.

I ignore the corn god.

"I mean roses are kind of stereotypical. I remember carnations actually looked pretty nice. And they don't have that whole thorn removal bullshit going on."

I poke the Knife human with my baseball bat.

There is silence for a few moments.
Then suddenly.
450,000 litres of demon-infused smoothie pours into the office Sis is in. The tube cracks, and the smoothie spryas out all over Salt and knife.

My tulpa punches Sig and Zombie in the dick.

A lot.

"Cricket's better." Knife says to the Corn God, before him and Salt are covered in smoothie. "Well, this was unexpected."

"And these flowers are fucking ruined. Let's find another store. So uh...carnations or roses?"

I dodge likeabaws.

"I suggest orchids. Orchids are great."

"Noted."

The tube gets a blockage and explodes. Smoothie goes everywhere.

I continue eating the mango.

My tulpa continues punching Sig and Zombie in the dick.

I bash in the tulpas skull.

I fall on the Staff of Genderswapping and spontaneosly turn into a girl.
"Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit"

"I'm a dream form shittiot."

"Any got a coin to flip? I'm torn between orchids and carnations."

"What sorcery is this?"
Out of frustration, I smack the Knife human in the face with the bat.

I look down at my chest.
"Huh."
I jump up and down a bit.

My tulpa hands Salt a bouquet of both carnations and orchids. "It's classier if you buy more than one kind of flower."

"True, true. Well, now or never I suppose. Wish me luck, all."

"Godspeed my friend."

"Hey guys check this out."
I zap Zombie with the SoG.

"Alright. Sister, will you...no, would you...yeah would you sounds better. Now...shit I don't even know what's playing. Huh, I think Django's still out..."

I look down.
"Sig turn me back."

"It doesnt have a reverse setting."
I zap Salt with the SoG.

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