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"But... Wait, where is the closest one?"

"...Fuck it, let's just grab some paintball guns and make the entire fucking mall the field."


You grab a variety of excellent paint arms.

"Alright. Ten paces?"

"If you think it will give you an advantage, alright."

You stand back to back and take your ten paces. Except not really.

"Fuck that noise."

She runs off into the Mall while your back is turned.

"...Let's do this shit."

I run after her, occasionally peppering the area with a few shots.

She ducks by an escalator, using the glass paneling as cover as she rides to the second floor.

I run up the stairs, and contrary to what generally occurs in this RP, manage to not fall down them.

She pops her head over the side of the escalator, taking pot shots as you run up.

I roll out of the way, firing a steady stream at the area just above the side.

She ducks back down and dashes into a store as she reaches the top.


May God help us all.


I swiftly do a 90 degree turn and run into the bathroom, hiding out in one of the stalls.

Sister steps out of the store, armed to the teeth with hair product and cannons loaded with no longer ironic t-shirts.

"Oh Saaaalt. Come on out, sissy."

I run out of the bathroom and spray wildly, heading to the other side.

You miss, utterly and completely.

Sister strafes the hallways before turning down a corner.

"You're not catching me on that shit."

I run back into the bathroom.

"You can stay in there all you want. I'll can play the waiting game."


Moments turn to hours and days. As you sit on your shitter contemplating the meaning of your existence, a nagging feeling in the darkest recesses of your mind reminds you of your inevitable fate. Weeks and months pass on, the wrath of time crippling you with insanity.

You look at your watch. Nineteen minutes have passed.

"...Okay, maybe we should do something else."

"Is that a white flag I hear?"

"It's a ceasefire."

"Your terms are acceptable."
I shoot Knife in the dick.
"That's for causing all this shit by existing in the first place."

"Fuck." Knife says as he respawns, "No need to be a d...ouchbag about it."

"I know. I just wanted to do that."

"Hey, is there a Cineworld or anything similar in the mall?"

"I don't know for sure, but I'd put money on it." Knife says.

I fall off the church roof. "Ow."

My tulpa watches Salt and Sister paintballing, getting slightly uncomfortable about all the sexual tension.

"...I'm getting the uncomfortable implication someone is watching me in here."

My tulpa feels somehow dirtied by his actions, at a very intrinsic level.

"...Paddy? Is that you?"




"What are you doing in the bathroom? Why are you watching us?"


"No I'm not."


"...Did I just hear your pants unzip? Or...was that them zipping back up?"

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