Mall Fight RP: (CLOSED) (FINISHED)

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"Sigma, please stop doing that."

The rivers of ice cream begin bubbling and spitting. A grotesque form beings to rise from the now-sizzling river. Slowly, Baby Mitt Romney raises his head.
image

"Tox, nothing can stop Sigma when he starts breaking the fabric of reality."
I punt Romney.

"I'm Canadian, I don't even give a shit about American politics."

Baby Mitt Romney explodes in a cloud of tiny, winged Trilbys, who immediately start flying around Tox's head.

I bludgeon the tiny winged hats, because this shit ain't TF2.

"Jesus fuck somebody detox me. Oh Christ. GODDAMIT NOW I APPRECIATE BEING BLIND EVEN MORE SOMEBODY MAKE THIS LSD INDUCED NIGHTMARE STOP!"

I dump the rest of the lemonade down Salts throat.

I drown in the spiked lemonade, respawning in an abandoned pet store.

"Oh sweet, sweet blackness, you have returned."

I fill the pet store with hallucinogenic gasses.

"NO FUCK THIS I AM NOT DOING THAT AGAIN."

I run through the window, slitting my throat with one of the glass shards.

The Trilby-flies converge into a massive swarm, and with a blinding flash, turn into a morbidly obese Sister with a veritable forest of armpit hair and...things...growing in the flabby rolls of her stomach.

I walk by Salt, who's having the worst trip of his life, stopping to look for a moment and walking away soon afterwards.

I respawn piggybacking on Tox.

"Just take me away from them."

"...Salt, many people have piggybacked on me. And by "many", I mean Waffles! And many people will probably continue to piggyback on me. But not today." I drop Salt on the ground.

"DUDE, FOR FUCK'S SAKE, JUST GET ME AWAY FROM THESE ASSHOLES FOR LIKE TWO HOURS. I CAN HANDLE ISOLATION."

I give Salt a glass of lemonade.
"Here, have some apple juice."

"No drinks."

"Where do you expect me to take you?! Disneyworld?"

"Y'know what? Fuck it."

I crawl into the ventilation shaft and close the grate behind me.

"Fine."
I pump some bread with lemonade.
"Try this bread."

I smell the wierd stonk coming from the vent shaft.

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

"I SWEAR TO GOD I AM GOING TO BEAT YOU TO DEATH WITH MY BARE HANDS IN ROUGHLY TWELVE SECONDS."

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

I jump out and beat Tox to death with the grate, dragging his body back in with me.

I make a sandwich with the bread.
"Try this sandwich at least."

I respawn close to the vent shaft.

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

My disembodied face floats out of the darkness behind Salt.
"Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaai"

I tear Sigma's face in half and attach the pieces to Tox's corpse, and move deeper into the ventilation system.

I inject Salt with the lemonade, after following him into the shaft. Silently.

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

The pieces of my face burst into flame. From the ashes rises several hundred tiny Logans, that run after Salt jabbering in high-pitched voices.

I break off one of Tox's corpse's arms, pull out the bone, break that, and stab Zombie.

Inside the church I sense great idiocy in the Mall.

The Logans run up Salts arms and start whispering horrible things in his ears.

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