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"I immediately break down due to a crisis of faith, as I'm both vehemently opposed to the idea of looting a temple, and believe it is not my place to impose my own morality on the rest of the party."
I turn to glance at Salt.
"And I make sure I remembered to prepare Smite Evil this morning. While I freak out."

"Chaotic Neutral. Don't work hombre."

"I hide in a tree." I roll a d20 and get 1. "Shit."

"I catch a ride on a Beast of Crippling Insecurity and fly back to the island."
I roll a 17

"The Raven Goddess appears from the heavens, slaps Salt, sending him flying into the temple of shit. You are covered with excrement."
I turn to Trilby.
"You fall over, roll up into a ball, and scream. And Sigma, that...Anyway, The Great Mighty Poo rises from the temple and starts singing."

"I whip out my trusty Book of Withering Rebukes and try and scorn him."

"I make a Spot check around the area." I roll another 1. "FUCK!"

Suddenly, Tommy is absent.

"Well, shit. I CALL DIBS ON GM!"

I roll a 1, insult myself and cry like a bitch.

"The Great Mighty Poo covers the book in shit. And you with it. Since you're a bard, you could sing your way out of shit, so make an escape roll with a +5 bonus."

I roll, and get a 21.
"Uuuuuuuuuh what."

"...Hold the fuck up." I check the GM's Handbook. "The Mighty Poo explodes." I throw the book to the ground. "This sucks, let's go play something else!"

I get out a twister mat.


We suddenly become a bunch of kids on a beach.

I Twist and Shout all over the mat.

"Wow what the actual fuck is even happening?" Knife asks.

"I don't want to know, Knife." I say.

"Alright. Knife, since you, me and Trilby are the only ones lucid enough to remember there's a fucking psychopath on the loose, who happens to be on LSD, we need a plan."

Knife draws a heavily scared and modified MTs shotgun out of his jacket and rests it on his shoulder. "How about we go hunting then."

"...Can we call it 'retrieval' instead?"

"Call it whatever you want, Salt. I'm going to go set a trap."
I go into a nearby rave supplies store.

I replace the shotgun with a Super Soaker 3000(!) and throw it into a vat of acid.

Knige flings the super soaker at the vat, causing it to tip over and the shotgun to bounce off rhe rim, into the wall and back into Knife's hands, where he turns and unloads a load of buckshot into Zombie at point blank, lifting him off his feet and sending him flying through the front window of the 'Sharp & Pointy things' store, where he is impailed on several swords.
"Oi Trilby, I've got the bait."

I respawn, and bash Knife's head in. I then steal his shotgun and start firing several shots into the corpse.

Knife respawns, kicks Zombie in the balls and takes his shotgun, which he puts back in his jacket. "Get your own fucking gun." He says, before walking after Trilby.

Knife finds me browsing a large wall covered with shelves of various multicoloured, glowing and flashing things.
"Hey, Knife."

"Christ, you trying to give yourself a seziure?" Knife asks, bringing an arm up to shield his eyes.

I walk over to the two, my eyes protected from the flashing due to red-and-blue shades that I totally have and had since the beginning of this thread.

"No. I'm trying to work out what's most likely to attract the attention of someone high on psychedelic drugs." I explain.
I just start grabbing things, then bring them out of the store, and set everything up in a massive wall, then set up speakers playing electro music at rediculously loud volume.
"If this doesn't attract Sister's attention, well... at least we'll be able to have fun." I say, drink some more of Zombie's lemonade.
"By the way, cool shades, Tox."

"For once, I appreciate blindness."

I blink even so in the midst of the lights.

"Thanks, bro. What are you doing anyways?"

"Trying to...make Sister not high. By keeping her in one consistent place until she naturally detoxes."

"Can't you just send her in Vietnam? That solves highness problems every time."

"Blindness won't help with the music."
I turn to Tox.
"I'm trying to lure Sister here so we can stop her rampaging."

"But not just...slaughter her. Yeah."

"Why not?" Knife asks Salt, "It's not like she'll stay dead."

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