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"Lots of shit."

"...Well, then. Besides, none of us said 'gender', so fuck off."

I take out my tape recorder.

"You are going to obey a thing which you don't even know the gender of? Wise choice."


I throw the tape recorder off the building. "And of what concern to you is the concept of gender anyway?"

"...I don't know. In place of a discussion on that, how about we...y'know. Fight?"

"No thanks. Also, here's the space for your meth labs." I point down to the floor.

"Fuck the meth labs."

I punch Tox in the face.

"I just want you dead."

"I didn't even do anything to you, man! At least have a good excuse, like your being my long lost brother that I have ignored for decades or some shit like that!"


I reverse-pickpocket grenades into Salt and Tox's inventories.

I pickpocket myself and reverse-reverse-reverse-pickpocket the grenade into Miniman's inventory. The two extra "reverses" are only for the sake of confusing him.

I stuff the grenade into Mini's mouth, pull the pin, and throw him off the building.

"So, like I was saying, Alice in Wonderland is the weakest of Burton's films."

I take the grenade out, pull out the pin, and shove it down Tox's throat.
"That seems to work better."

I puke over the building, because having a grenade shoved down your throat doesn't do well to your digestive system.

"And furthermore, the decision to outsource the boss battles in Deus Ex: Human Revolution was so utterly wrong, I can hardly fathom why they did it."

"Well fuck."
I respawn in the hardware store. I start tying electric drills together

"Which brings me to my final point: Lovecraft may have be an intolerably racist...racist, but he was one of the most profound writers of horror in any era, and for that I think we should learn to accept his lesser traits with his better."

"I think Lovecraft is overrated. Not in the sense that he isn't as good a writer as he is, no, he's pretty damn great, but people compare strange worlds and creatures way too many times to his Cthulhu mythos, and it's kinda sad when people categorize a wide array of various constructs as the same thing."

"But as many have come to realize, is that George R.R. Martin is telling a story, not catering to the fans for sales. And the story he tells is among the finest I've ever read."

"Really, I think Space Odyssey is definitely not a movie for everyone. It does take a bit of patience to be in the right state of mind to truly see the movie in the way it was meant to be watched."

"All that needs to be said about Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance, is that a change of direction is never harmful, and it works very well in it's favor in that particular case."

"Really, it's because of that that I believe that it takes more than just being an "original IP" to suddenly be a great game."

"Copyright is honestly one of the least relevant things in this day and age. When a person can [REDACTED] and places your whole collection of films on the internet, who can [DATA EXPUNGED] that it's all wrong?

"And that's how I learned not to get my medical license from otherkin lesbian social justice activists who happen to be fans of Skullgirls."

I begin to attach the now massive mega drill to a forklift.

"...The fuck did I just spend six hours talking about."

"I believe you mentioned AIDS in there at some point, I think."

I crash a large mechanical Manta Ray into Tox's eyeball.

I respawn or whatever. "So, anyways, what was I doing here, already?"

I start browsing craigslist for nukes and similar explosive devices.

"Weird that I just...lose track of myself."

"Well, it doesn't matter anyways, everyone knows that Picasso is obviously the greatest artist of his era."

"You know, it's rapidly approching the point where I wonder whether what your saying would make more sense if I was on drugs." Knife says.

"I thought everyone was on drugs at this point-How the fuck did you get up here?!"

"I walked, how else?"

Meanwhile, I continue to stumble around in the dark.

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