Mall Fight RP: (CLOSED) (FINISHED)

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It would appear the baseball bat is actually a kit kat.
"Ooh, yum. Thanks! Also, I'm not magically changing these items, you're just picking up the wrong things!"
I walk off while eating it.

"ooh piss off before i drop a house on you and then shove an ion cannon blast up your ass and it's not you it's the another you"

"Dropping a house on me? Why that's impossible! For one, we're in a mall with no houses! Unless you mean a toy play house, but that wouldn't really hurt would it? And shoving an ion cannon blast up my ass? Well, I'd had to sit on the thing first, and I very well won't do that. And lets not even begin to ponder where you would get such a thing."

"Of course, Woon. Another Zombie. One who is able to warp reality. And where is this Zombie? Over here?"
I open a janitor's closet.
"Here?"
I peer into an air vent.
"Clearly, this other Zombie is a master of stealth."

"already have one actually and i got a friend who's a higher up in the black market and i'll leave at that" i turn to trilby fourth wall breaking powers active!!! "no he's there silly" i point outside RP galaxy, into reality andpull zombie the one behind the computer in to the mall

"What black market? I do not see any black markets. In fact, we have little to no contact to anyone outside the mall. Even the internet is all just archives which are regularly updated."

Also Woon smashes his hand against a wall while trying to grab the 'real' Zombie.

I watch Woon point at a shop, then drag someone out.
"Woon, that's a mannequin."
I turn to Zombie.
"Well, we do go down onto planets sometimes. And I suppose we could contact people outside the mall, if we had anyone TO contact."

"ah screw this firing ion cannon" i teleport out for the minute via portal
and it erases the last argument of the past hour

"Woon you just ran into a hedge. And we can still see you. And there is still no ion cannon."
I turn back to Trilby.
"I suppose but while we're in the mall, in space, we can't really contact that many people. And yeah, who'd believe us?"

"Probably lots of people would believe us. Malls and respawns seem fairly common out here. And we do get a pretty good connection. I mean, we called Sister from space a few times."

"fine i'll stop for now and i think i got some old contacts who have seen alot and have had interesting life so far they'd believe us" pulling out a Nokia phone and dials few numbers

I grab the phone and smash it onto the floor.
"Also I always thought we could phone Sister because of her being linked to the mall."

"Well, that makes about as much sense as the rest of this shit. But Artie called the UN, so unless they're connected to the Mall, I think we'll be able to call whomever we want."

"dude it's a Nokia this shit is indestructible, you could launch this at the earth and it would turn into a planet X and smash into the planet

"Objection! This is in fact, a newer model, and is not the famous 'indestructible' model. Also for the last time, Ion cannons are OP."
I go back to Trilby.
"They are a massive organization I guess, so it's likely they know about the mall. If the time ever comes up though, we'll find out."

"Well, the Invictus police know about Malls, so I'd assume the UN does as well. Though, I think it would be bad for them if they were in any way connected to us, so it's likely they just have space-phones. Let's test this."
I pull out my phone and dial the number for a takeaway on Anhur.


"Anhur takeaway."
"Uh... do you deliver to the Bekenstein area?"
"Yes."
"Okay then... uh..."
I proceed to place an order for a large amount of food, then hang up.
"So... space phones seem to be a thing."

"Counter-Objection!!!! this is actually the older and indestructible model

image

and i didn't say anything about an ion cannon so give it a rest" i turn to trilby "hope you ordered french fries i strangely like french fries"

"I guess you were right Trilby. And Woon, I just wanted to point out the stupidity of the ion cannon, and how OP it is. I just wanted to tell you to never mention it again, or use it."
I grab the phone, go onto the roof of the Mall, and throw it into the dark void that is space.

the phone then crashes into a random planet and destroys it completely "fine i won't mention it or use it again"

I watch as Woon's phone burns up as it falls to Bekenstein, due to phones from the early 2000s not being designed for atmospheric reentry.

My tulpa reappears near Zombie, having dispersed when Salt began discussing domestic arrangements. He telepathically links with Sigma.

"Hey man what up?"

The telepathic link reaches into the darkness to find me, but I am no longer anywhere. And from that shadow-realm, something reaches back

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̰̞̳̬̦͉̅̊͂̄͌̉̚ṗ̰̹̯̯͚͌͐p̰͚͓͙̣̼̿̕ͅp̴̩̞̟͙͎͔ͤ͌ṕ̞̮̯̥͖ͨͧͨ͡p̫̹̰̹̞̙͉̓ͨ̓̑̃̇p̙̯̺͉̎ͭ̓ͫp̆p̩͕͋̽̐p̨̠ͨͤp͙̱͡ͅp̽̾ͅa͓̦̍̎ͯ̈́̂̓ͮa̢̤͕̫̻̠͉ͥ̋̂aͬ̏̅ͩ͒̔ͪa̦͈ͯ͛͆ͬ̽ͦ̀a̘̱͞a͖̱̱ͣ̾à͙̱͚ͭ͐ͪͩͣa͛̈́̃a̧͚̹̝͒ͧ̎͋̐a̟̻̫͉ͮͬͬa̘̮̟̱̮͚ͅa̯̗͕̣̯̳a̖͉͉̲͍ͅa̩̺̱͈ͨ̾́a͚̤͍ã͈̤͓̝̹̩̟ͮ̓͂̆͜a̶͕̗̫̹͍͖͖ͦͧ͋̽̏̚a͉̦̯͈̘̞̰̐̋͆ȧ̪͉͕͕ͬͯͦ̋̾̌a͕̱͔̣̳͉͞ä͓͈͓̭͙̟̬́̔ͧ̍̿͌ͮā̷͔͈̬͊͂ȧ̰́͌ͬa̷͓͌̊̌̔̚a̼̞a̙͇̥̓ͬ́̀ͧa͓̫͓͕ͩ́̾̍̅͂̈́a̦̠̘̰̝͈̫ͬ̀a̧̳͇̎̄͐̏à̷̹̼̍̂ͪa͑҉̪̥̖a̠̰̝ͤ̀̽ͪ̃̐a̲̯͢ͅa̪͇͓̤̗̲ͥ͝ͅa̭͖̩̚a͆͘ȃ̟̩̓̆ͧ̽̒̚a͂̓̽a̴̳͖͓̪̤͖̓̆͌̏ͅa̵̭̬̼̫̩̬a̭͙͎͉̺̥ͯ̉̇͝ͅa̮͕̪͂̉̔̽̚͠ạ̝̲̯̬̦̤̋̋͐͂a̳̲̳̥ͭͥ͗ͣͦͩ̑a̜͙͙̙̟̟̞͐ͩ͂̈́͂̏a̷̜̔a̶͓̙ͦ̐͒̓
̜̲̦ͣͬͦâ͙̫ͬͦ̂a̧̗̞̣̬ͧa̯̳̹͗̀̀aͣ̑̔͂͑͏̩̯a͇ͪ̿aͥ̉ͭa͔̳̪͓͒ͣ̈̈͌̃a̗̯̺a̪̩̦͙ͦ̑̍a̵̝̙̠̎ͫ̈́d̦̭͕̺̝͐͊̓͂ͯ̏́d҉̜d̶̦̰̹̠ͩ̿d̼̪̱̬̣̗̂̒̍̿̚͟d̆d̃̾ͦ҉̗̰̥̱d̡̗͕̖͔̑̇́́d͔̟̭͑d̔ͩ̃͒̑̚҉͕̠d̪̩͖̟͉̜͛ͤͨ̓ͅd̼̪̳̻̖̘͝ͅd̝͖̭̗̰̰͇ͯ͆̏͆̚͝d͋ͧ̏͛̌̿҉̖͍͙͎̼͚̞ḏ̛̭͉̉̓͛̎̓d̰̗ͤ́d̵̯̲d͓̤́͛̒͟ͅdͫ̂d͈ͫ̌̾͆ͩď̊̄͘d̝̭̣̂͛̀̌̋d̰͙͈̻̺̹ͅd̺̬ͩͬd̵̤̼̙̝͖͙ͅd͇͇ͭ̈̓ͭ͞d̡͕̹͉̗̮͉̭̃̎ͯ
̼͈̏ͩd̝͂̆͆̂̍d̙͚ͥ̀̕d̸̟͍̙̱̪ͣ̂̀̂̋y̛̦̠̫͎͖̩͐̄ỹ̗͛̒ẙ͕̙͉yͦ̋̓̈́̑͏͎̰̞̠̠̮y̦̯̾̇ͩ̾͋ͪ̄ỵ͖̘̼̱̐̎͐͊̃̒ͪỹ̥̞̥͎̪̫̒́́̌ͫẙ̫̮̯͇̎̿͊͝y̖̖̱͎͙͙ͥ̔̐̈́͜ͅy͙͚͔̑ͬ̍ͅy̐͌ͨ̅̇̋̋҉̲̭̩͓y͇̬͠y͖͍ͧ͋̄̃̔ͫ̈͢y̲y̢̤͇̪̣͙̲͇ͬ͛̈́y͙͎͈̺̲̐ͨy͍͓̻̺͆͑͒yͧ̒͢y̛̗̯̳̪̪͙͋y̥̞̤̐̂̋́͆y͔͓͔ͨ͐y̥̯͍̍̇ͯ̆ͦ̚

"I'm getting some interference, hold up a sec." I climb to the highest point of the mall use the mall itself as a channel for my telepathy. "Where are you?"

"W̨̛̰̩̥͇̜̦̱̬͐̌̋̾̎ͦ̀ô̵͖͚̮̤͚͖͓ͦͪ͐̏ͥ͢ù̷̧͉̮͇͖̆ͮ̔̃ͪḻ̼̰̈́̓́d̵̛͉̩̻̈͑̽̉ͪ̑ͤͫ̾͡ ̦̲͖̘͍͍̳̜ͤ̒͋̐͢y̱̺̞̰ͤ͝o̫̤͍͕̯͍̪ͨͧ͟u͕͕̪̮̼̭͎̎̍ belive me if I told you I had no idea??"

"Did you think I wouldn't?"

I look around, scanning my surroundings. I seem to be on a raised plinth of some sort, with circular steps around it. As far as the eye can see, bookshelves stretch off in all directions. Looking up, there is another floor, and another, stretching off into infinity. In the distance, moving vaulting over shelves and scrabbling across stairwells, many-legged creatures scurry.

"I think I'm in a Library."

"WELL HOT DIGGETY DAMN! I'll be right over!" My tulpa appears next to Sigma before exploding in a cloud of thought energy. Particle lights swirl and hum as a tulpa reappears in the mall, transparent and weakened. The cloud of lights around Sigma and the tulpa in the mall speak simultaneously. I'm glad I'm not alive to feel how much this hurts."

I walk over to Paddy's tulpa(?). "Hey, dude. You got any change?"

I scream and stumble backwards from the cloud of thoughts, tripping over the em of my dress and falling over. Something small and indistinct skitters out of my pocket and is soon lost in between the shelves.

"Don't sneak up on me like that!"

"I'm sorry dude I thought you'd be expecting me! Uh, not dude I guess. Sorry."

"I'm still a guy, Paddy"
I get to my feet and adjust my corset, again. It needs to be restringed. The Seamstress Guild won't be happy.
"Any idea where we are?"

"FUCK NO! owowowowowowow. Nice dress, hook me up with whoever made up after this. ANd how would i know ehwre we are i came here because oyu said there werre books?""

I look down at my outfit, still damp after the pool dimension.
"Thanks. It's standard-issue. And yeah look around. Theres loads of books."
I look down at the floor, and notice a piece of paper. Bending down to pick it up, I show it to the half-Tulpa.
"Hey look an advertisement. Maybe there's a Seamstress Inn around here."

image

"Standard issue for who? And I can't exactly put on a dress like this can I?"

"For practicing members of the Seamstress Guild silly."

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