Mall Fight RP: (CLOSED) (FINISHED)

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"HHHHowww do i join this hting>"

I then realize that Paddy's tulpa isn't actually there, and I wonder to myself if my fever dream will ever end.

I turn to Paddy.
"Here fill out this form."

Out of boredom I give Trilby a hair cut.

OOC: HA HA payback time

"zombie why are you giving Trilby a haircut?"

"Because I want to? Duh. We all need hair cuts, considering we haven't had any for weeks/months/years."

"that's true but i don't know if i could trust you with my hair or scissors for that my matter, you may cut my throat with em so i'll do it myself when i can but for now i'll just shave my beard a little" i say picking a razor and start to shave my beard off

OOC:-looks at the forum's tile- oh shit we're nearing the end

[OOC: Nah, we're at the end of this act and we're nearly done with Paddy's quest.]
"Pfft. You call that a beard? It's barely a stubble."

I check my hair in a mirror.
"Thanks, Zombie."
I put on a trilby, then punch Woon's wrist, causing him to cut his throat with the razor.

"No problem Tril!"
I proceed to give Tox a hair cut.

"Lemme just. Nope can't do it. Save that for the real me."

OOC: oh good i thought the forum was ending for a minute then.

"damnit" i die and then respawn "what the hell was that for?"

"I was just giving you..."
I run into a store, grab a pair of sunglasses, then run back out and put the glasses on.
"A close shave."

suddenly "AW YYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

I cover my ears.
"Never. Ever. Do that again."

"Yes, exactly."
I chainsaw Woon in half.

i respawn "meh i had my fun"

I push Zombie the fuck away and look at a mirror. "OH MY GOD, I... Hey, I actually look kinda good with that 'do."

"So, what's happening?" I ask, walking over to the group.

"not much just zombie giving everyone haircuts" i say turning to knife

"Huh." I say, running a hand over my long, shaggy hair. "Ok then."

"yeah i think a haircut too now that i think about it" i say sitting down in a chair

I give Knife a hair cut.

The library blurs around me. Paddy's Tulpas voice seems to be coming from far away, echoing through the air. A shiver runs over me, and then I am gone, torn away on the tides of possibility.

I give Woon a buzzcut with my chainsaw.
Surprisingly, he survives unscathed.
Except for the loss of his ears.

suddenly strange red lightning appears where my ears were and start to repair them "huh well that's new"

It turns out the red lighting is just his blood and the tazer I've stuck in his wound.

"hseqhlcbhsldhhoclndcnsdkcjlcjlbljdsanclndl" i tried to say but dyingand then i respawn

"Huh, not bad." I say, brushing a hand over my new buzz cut. "Thanks Zombie."

"No problem dude. Man I missed my calling."
I phone Salt.
"Dude you want a hair cut?"

"Can you please finally transition your...specifics? And no. I prefer it long."

"Oh for the love of-Salt it looks awful. I know it's hard to give up hair, but it's the only way."

"God fucking damnit Sigma."

"Come on Salt, I cut mine!" I yell into the phone.

"Barbershop, the role-playing game."

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