Mall Fight RP: (CLOSED) (FINISHED)

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"Oh thanks."
I spray the dragons a little bit and they grow.
"Awesome. Man that could have been tragic."

Having righted my lighter-than-air-mattress I float back over to the others. "So, a dragon huh? How'd that happen?"

"It really could've."
I look down at the dragons.
"They're still pretty small. Spray them again."
I turn to Knife.
"Zombie stole its eggs, and now we're pumping the dragon-babies full of drugs."

I spray the baby dragons till the can is empty.
"Well...they're slightly bigger I guess."

"..."

"You know, just when I think you can't surprise me anymore, you do something like this." I say, producing a bucket of popcorn and reclining on my lighter-than-air-mattress. "Continue."

"Yeah okay. LET'S GO FIGHT THIS DRAGON- And it's disappeared. Uh...Tox where did it go?"

"It went that-a-way, man." I point behind me while finishing my exercising.

I run up and piledrive the altar.

You obliterate the altar. Your amulet spasms violently in response. The face changes shape, shining with a flashing light that hurts your eyes.

image
(noirlac)

image
(noirlac)

"YOU ARE FUCKING KIDDING ME!"

After finishing my exercising, I finally decide to go after that goddamn dragon.

I open my eyes.
I'm flat on my back. My head is pounding.
"I think I blacked out for a few minutes, there..." I groan as I sit up.
I look around. Everything is normal. Well, normal for an infinitely expanding shopping centre, inhabited by mythological creatures, famous actors and immortal psychopaths, which is hurtling through space.
"Dammit, the drugs wore off."
I stand up, stretch, and follow Tox because I have nothing better to do.
As I go, the headache gets worse. I reach into my pocket, and pull out a small bottle of pills. The label warns me not to take more than two every four hours, and not to consume them with alcohol. I pour the entire contents of the bottle down my throat, then wash them down with a few swigs of whisky.
"Let's go kill a dragon, I guess."

I put the 3 little dragons into my inventory.
"Well this can only go well."

"Of course. There's absolutely no way for us to fuck up a dragon fight!" I say, still drinking whisky and downing what I assume to be painkillers.

"Except every goddamn way we tried so far."

"Don't be such a pessimistic fuck, Salt. We'll get that thing, even if it costs us our lives! I'm pointing out the fact that we can't really die in this place when I'm saying that."

"No problem... Wait, what?"

"Yes, except for all of those ways. Those were ways we fucked up."
I nod in agreement with Tox.
"That too. In fact, we could probably just Zerg the bastarding thing."

"I say we suplex it."

"Here's an idea, let's use explosives." I say, tossing a rocket launcher to Salt.

I pull out a grenade launcher and starts loading the rounds in while happily humming "good thing I've got all these explosives in my inventory" i say as i make sure the C4 is ok

"I can't wait for this plan to fail. Considering, you know, it's a fucking dragon."

"Yes, Salt. You do that. Have fun."
I head into a nearby Dark Souls store and grab


"Let's do this thing." I say, dragging the sword behind me.

A massive wall of fire speeds towards us, once again.
"...So tell me again how we're supposed to kill it?"

I roll aside, dodging the fire.
"We either wait for it to land, then beat the shit out of it, or we find a big-ass gun to shoot it down with."

I turn to ash, and then respawn.
"Right. Easier said than done."

i fire two grenades at the dragon "well i got a turret i could throw out, it's quite fire resistance" i say to trilby

The dragon pays no attention to the grenades, as they barely scratch it's scales. It then whacks Woon into a pillar with it's tail.

"Zombie, this is the Mall. I doubt it would be hard to find a ridiculously large and powerful gun." I say as I stand up, then look towards the dragon.
"Maybe we should set a trap, so that the next time it does that fly-by thing, we can take it down. An electrified net, or something."

i smack into the pillar and i get the wind knocked out of me "AGRH shit" i say as blood pours out of my mouth, i pull out a small box and slide it along the floor "turret..." coughs up blood "activate" the small box suddenly transforms in a turret with three mini guns attached

image

"target is the dragon aim for it's chest and stomach" he said before cough up more blood

The dragon stomps on the turret, before flying towards a shop selling fake life sized farmyard animals.

OOC:"fuck you Zombie" vomits blood before bleeding to death

"oh fine, fuck it!" i say picking up my grenade launcher and tries to stands up

"So we gonna chase the dragon down or what?"

"i'm up for it but the dragon crashed a few of my ribs and some organs anyone got any painkillers?" i say slowly walking over

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