Mall Fight RP: (CLOSED) (FINISHED)

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"Don't be such a pessimistic fuck, Salt. We'll get that thing, even if it costs us our lives! I'm pointing out the fact that we can't really die in this place when I'm saying that."

"No problem... Wait, what?"

"Yes, except for all of those ways. Those were ways we fucked up."
I nod in agreement with Tox.
"That too. In fact, we could probably just Zerg the bastarding thing."

"I say we suplex it."

"Here's an idea, let's use explosives." I say, tossing a rocket launcher to Salt.

I pull out a grenade launcher and starts loading the rounds in while happily humming "good thing I've got all these explosives in my inventory" i say as i make sure the C4 is ok

"I can't wait for this plan to fail. Considering, you know, it's a fucking dragon."

"Yes, Salt. You do that. Have fun."
I head into a nearby Dark Souls store and grab


"Let's do this thing." I say, dragging the sword behind me.

A massive wall of fire speeds towards us, once again.
"...So tell me again how we're supposed to kill it?"

I roll aside, dodging the fire.
"We either wait for it to land, then beat the shit out of it, or we find a big-ass gun to shoot it down with."

I turn to ash, and then respawn.
"Right. Easier said than done."

i fire two grenades at the dragon "well i got a turret i could throw out, it's quite fire resistance" i say to trilby

The dragon pays no attention to the grenades, as they barely scratch it's scales. It then whacks Woon into a pillar with it's tail.

"Zombie, this is the Mall. I doubt it would be hard to find a ridiculously large and powerful gun." I say as I stand up, then look towards the dragon.
"Maybe we should set a trap, so that the next time it does that fly-by thing, we can take it down. An electrified net, or something."

i smack into the pillar and i get the wind knocked out of me "AGRH shit" i say as blood pours out of my mouth, i pull out a small box and slide it along the floor "turret..." coughs up blood "activate" the small box suddenly transforms in a turret with three mini guns attached

image

"target is the dragon aim for it's chest and stomach" he said before cough up more blood

The dragon stomps on the turret, before flying towards a shop selling fake life sized farmyard animals.

OOC:"fuck you Zombie" vomits blood before bleeding to death

"oh fine, fuck it!" i say picking up my grenade launcher and tries to stands up

"So we gonna chase the dragon down or what?"

"i'm up for it but the dragon crashed a few of my ribs and some organs anyone got any painkillers?" i say slowly walking over

"Nah, I'm liking the sound of Operation: Shoot The Fucker with a Big Fuck Off Gun."
I put my massive sword away, then look around.
I hand Woon a bottle of pills.
"You may have one."

"Woon, why the hell do you need painkillers?"

"thank you trilby" downs one pill then turns to Zombie "oh i don't know maybe because my fucking ribs and organs are crushed and i'm probably bleeding interning right now"

OOC:fuck I really need to get XCOM Enemy Unknown cause I am missing out on alot of fun.

I take the bottle back, then put it in my pocket.
"So... let's do something about that dragon."

"yes let's, I heard that dragons don't have scales from their chins to the bottom of their stomachs so that might be a weakpoint to aim for" i say before starting to walk in the direction the dragon went

"Woah woah, if we can bullshit any weapon from any fucking form of media, I need a second."

I step into the workshop and come back out.

image\

"Round 2."

I just stand there. "Oh, so you fuckers have all the fun IN THE MORNING!" To quench my rage, I start throwing hand grenades I got by the dozens about 650 pages ago at the general direction the dragon was/is in.

"No Woon, I mean, we're in the fucking mall. We can respawn. Also you know there skin is like, rock solid anyway? Scales are just like extra protection."
Meanwhile the dragon eats all the fake sheep.

My tulpa pops in and sees the dragon. "You got yourselves into some real shit this time."

"THE EGGS LOOKED COOL ALRIGHT!"
I feed my new pet dragons.

"Eh."

"Yes, we did, Paddy. What shit did you get yourself into?" I ask Paddy's tulpa. "You've been gone for a while. I think. Not sure how time really passes, any more..."
I sit down, and begin constructing an enormous lance, too large for any one man to wield alone.

"ok fine about the scales but the problem with me dying is because i don't like dying it's hurts and really sucks"

I lodge one of my tomahawks into Woons Skull, and proceed to rip it back out.
"There. Done. Dead."

The grenades blow enough up as to reveal the dragon, at which point I decide not to try and provoke its attention.

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