Mall Fight RP: (CLOSED) (FINISHED)

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"Ah, fuck." Bracing for impact, I blindfold myself and set myself in position to use my katana. From beyond this plane of reality, my writer supplies some musical accompaniment:

After being knocked off the roof, I pull out two handguns I have with me and fall in a badass noir-antihero manner, kind like this;
image
,while firing at the hands.

Paddybot flies back into the hole it left in the hand's palm and activates its crotch fireworks at point blank range.

The hands clasp and capture Tox, pressing down and putting his body under immense pressure.

Knife-28:
After being knocked off the roof, I pull out two handguns I have with me and fall in a badass noir-antihero manner, [...] while firing at the hands.

You successfully fall in a badass noir-antihero manner. STYLE: +2!

Paddy the Second:
Paddybot flies back into the hole it left in the hand's palm and activates its crotch fireworks at point blank range.

Paddybot is crushed as the hands crack their knuckles, but the fireworks ignite. The bang loosens their grip.

as I start falling I do front flip on to the wall and run back up it, when i get back to the roof I jump at The Hands and start slashing and evading attacks

I shoot myself in the head, respawning and removing a floor tile to go underground. I grab one of my bomb packs and run up to the HPOTM and jump down onto the hands, suicide bombing them.

I load incendiary rounds into my Gauss rifle and start to fire at the hands.

I penetrate the katana as far as I can in the hand, which proves to be fairly easy since he's pressing down on me.

I run over to the hand holding down Tox and stab it with one of my swords in it's right side without hitting Tox's sword "you alright Tox?" i ask twisting and pushing my sword in some more.

I get back up, "auhhh...man *sigh* time to get serious" Cocks gun...

I run over to the wreckage of the Robo-Reptar and begin drawing a transmutation circle.

"WAFFLES!" I shout, respawning. "FUCKING START HELPING ALREADY!"

I continue watching the fight from a distance through a pair of binoculars.
I glance at the small pile of dead children behind me.

"You guys want anything to eat?"

...
"Sigma, where do you find these children?"
...
"You got any sandwiches?"

Tulpas stuff the dead children with explosives and launch them at the hands.

"Aw, c'mon! Was my idea!"

Saltarius:
I shoot myself in the head, respawning and removing a floor tile to go underground. I grab one of my bomb packs and run up to the HPOTM and jump down onto the hands, suicide bombing them.

Premature detonation.

TrilbyWill:
I load incendiary rounds into my Gauss rifle and start to fire at the hands.

You punch holes through the gloves, but the rubber fails to catch fire.

Martintox:
I penetrate the katana as far as I can in the hand, which proves to be fairly easy since he's pressing down on me.

Not as easy as you think. The blade is parallel with the palms, and would have a tough time cutting through the rubber anyway.

You think you have enough room to slip away.

Clade-170:
Cocks gun...

Heh. Cocking.

TrilbyWill:
I run over to the wreckage of the Robo-Reptar and begin drawing a transmutation circle.

Enough with the magic already.

Paddy the Second:
Tulpas stuff the dead children with explosives and launch them at the hands.

Body parts fly everywhere, stunning the Fighters.

I slip away and take Waffles's shit from his corpse, looking for a serum that reduces blood flow.

Due to an Anti-Rigor Mortis serum I totally took when no one was looking, my corpse uppercuts Tox.

I respawn Chemistry Store and start mixing serums and relaxants.

The corpse is still there. I loot the corpse.

I throw two Molotov cocktails at the hands.

The corpse chokes Tox while he loots it.

I finish up mixing up chemicals and pack them in several pockets. I activate a Humvee Terminal, summoning a Humvee in front of me, and drive back to the fray.

I shoot the corpse in the face about 6 times. I then loot it.

I run over Tox and -irony!- I loot his corpse.

"Hey Tox!"

I throw Tox a seemingly ordinary shotgun.

I respawn, take the shotgun and votekick Waffles off the HPOTM.

I summon the Humvee and drive back up the HPOTM and run over Tox again.

A team of tulpas set up a huge bank of guns of all sizes and fire them continuously at the hands.

I respawn and shove Waffles in the hand's grip.

My hand reaches for the familiar golden glass bottle.

"Fucking finally."

I fetch a Phoenix Down and use it on the dragon.

DRAGON: I

I cut the shit and take a blood flow-reducing serum from one of Waffles' multiple corpses, along with his wallet. I then inject the serum into the hand and shoot him with the seemingly ordinary shotgun.

Talk about railroading, but I'm not the one to talk.

A rocket rockets from the barrel of the seemingly ordinary shotgun.

ROCK-IT LAUNGER! x2682

I'm blown away by the revelation. Along with being litterally blown away by the fact that I fired at point blank range.

I respawn and start firing at the hand from farther away.

"Yeah sure"
I make a bacon sandwich and throw it to Trilby.

I catch the sandwich and eat it.

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