Pages PREV 1 . . . 807 808 809 810 811 812 813 814 815 . . . 886 NEXT

I start panicking due to my lack of ointments, when suddenly, I am hit with an idea; I pull out a copy of Cool As Ice (featuring Vanilla Ice) and apply it to the burned areas before looking for some ointments in the Mall.

"So white. It hurts..." Player Connor moans in a semi conscious state. The DVDs do little to help his condition but they are helping him wake up. (You should probably avoid that when he's still by the car)

I come back with a bunch of ointments and throw the DVDs away before dragging Connor over to the nearest pharmacy with a large counter.

"toxxxxxx-damn extending xes is haaaaaaaard"

I knock Connor back out before continuing to treat him.

I throw a pina colada grenade at Trilby.

I dive out of the grenade's explosion range just incase

I kick the grenade, causing it to roll away, and come to a stop right where Woon lands, moments before he hits the ground.

Paddy the Second:
"Um, thanks and everything but I'd really like to get back to my friends, wherever they are. And I'm sure with my inspiration and lessons you are now capable of defending yourselves." I gingerly push his sword aside with two fingers and stand up. "If you don't mind that is."

"Seriously? Paddy you could just go with no, then I would ask if you would rather be a man-at-arms and you would accept. We'll never get through rehearsal at this rate."

You hear a loud roar and what sounds like a car crash off in the distance.

"What in bloody blazes was that?!"

A bit odd for cars to be ramming into each other in a medieval world, but hey, you could go for an adventure right now.

You successfully treat Player Connor. However he's sorta down for the count now, he'll need a bit of rest before being able to wake up and go about his new life in this timeline. Who knows how he'll react to the situation.

I'd give him five minutes before he snaps out of it.

I write out a command for Janet to execute:

>Get back in and guard the entrance to the store.

You do so with a masterful execution.

I start running back to the car.

Hey, wait just a second.


You do so, with masterful execution.

I arrive back at the car, which has recently stopped burning. I first look inside the trunk, only to find pamphlets for a public laundromat. As I enter the wreckage to see what else is there, I see a corpse almost completely burnt up. I quickly get to pulling it out and clearing off its face, to see that it bears a striking resemblance to me; i.e, it's a different version of me.

Exactly what Mall Fight was missing.

I am, understandably, in shock, but I quickly get to hiding it further in the woods so that Player Connor can't end up see it, assuming he'd want to get back there when he wakes up. As I carry it further around the Mall and drop it close to a tree, an item falls off of the body. I pick it up, and without further consideration, I put it in my inventory.

You have obtained a Strange Kinda Okay Baselard!


+7% Chance of Paralysis, Silence and Blindness


Sometimes, luck will strike and the sword will perform miracles. Sometimes.

"...Shit, I could pawn that off for a good price."

I run back to the store.

Player Connor is mumbling the lines of Civilization while subconsciously thinking about the music video, only it has the villains from his timeline fighting.

You should probably wake up him.

I arrive at the store and notice Player Connor mumbling electronic sounds; I wake up him.



"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH" Player Connor punches Tox in the face and panics for a brief second. He then realizes (in his mind) he just punched Player Tox in the face, and immediately proceeds to bro bump the living shit out of him.

"...Ow?" Absolutely unsure of what to do, I reciprocate (I'm going to rebel against the English language if I make myself write this word again) the bro bump.

What a touching moment we have here.

Yes. It is a touching reunion. I'd assume the main narrator would think that considering how it's not really a reunion. Player Connor's Tox is dead, and Tox's Connor doesn't exist. Sounds so touching. I wish I could spin how not tragic the situation is like you can.

Anyways, Player Connor releases the bro bump and ask, "Dufe! How long have I been out?"

Long enough for me to make a Resident Evil 4 reference, and for you to not pick up on it. Who are you anyway?

I'm Player Connor's narrator. All you need to know.

Don't care. Talking to Player Connor.

Hey, what are you two guys up to? Is a party going on?

"...Well, you haven't been out of it for long; the car's done for, sadly."

He can't hear you. He doesn't apply to you reality's rules. If you want to know who he is, then just think of him as a Mall Fight variation of Connor Lonske. That should be enough for you.

Player Connor states, "Shit. Where are we?"

"We're in the... we're in a Mall."

Well you're just a ray of sunshine, aren't you?

"Wait? A mall, or THE mall?" Player Connor ask referring to his Mall, the one he created and is right now completely destroyed near the epicenter of his reality's implosion.

"Tox, you came back quick. What happen-?"

I glance and double take at the new guy.

"Shhhit, is that Connor?"

"It's kind of like our Mall, but it's not the same thing."

"OK then." Player Connor turns to WV RaN, "RaN? Jesus what happened to you? You look like a carapcent or whatever it's called."

Player Connor turns back to Tox, "Bro. What have I missed? what's happened since-" Player Connor fails to remember what happened right before being KOed, "...Since whatever happened happened."

"Uh... Hello to you too."

"Well, you were only knocked out for a short time, at least long enough to treat your burns. Trust me, you missed nothing important." I look back over to RaN. "Uh, sorry, I just need to talk to RaN for a second."

I walk over to RaN and bring him out of Connor's earshot to explain to him the situation: "I got a problem; this Connor is from a different universe or timeline or some shit like that, the Tox he knows is dead, and I think he believes I'm that Tox."

Player Connor still hasn't finished Homestuck nor does he remember most of it at all really, saying to WV RaN while Tox pulls him away, "The look suits you!"

Player Connor occupies his time taking pain medication because surprisingly, he is in a hell of a lota pain.

"How did he get here though?"

 Pages PREV 1 . . . 807 808 809 810 811 812 813 814 815 . . . 886 NEXT

Reply to Thread

This thread is locked