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I continue driving towards the castle.

"You just missed him you turd. It's gonna be at least a couple days now."

"Well, that's good."
I keep driving.

"i'm debating launching the distress flair, but that would level the castle, and I would like to get my title out of this."

"Don't bother. Just wait for me to get there."
I continue to drive around.
"Whenever that fucking happens! Seriously, how far is this castle?"

Remember, Trilby; licking doorknobs is illegal on other planets.

"lots of lovely jewelry shove it up lovely chocolate starfish lovely lovely lovely jingle jangle jewelry"

"Well that seeems lime a pointlessly non-sensical statement." I say, having been riding unannounced in the back of Trilby's car the entire time.

I swerve and hit a tree because two people just suddenly revealed their presence in what I believed to have been an empty car.
"holy shit what the fuck how do people keep getting into my car without me noticing"


I hold up my character sheet. "100 in sneak man, comes in handy."

He gets my point, though, he should just ask directions in the next town he comes upon; it's not like people are going to freak out over the fact that the technology he uses is way ahead of theirs.

They'll be too busy being eaten by necromancers to care.

I continue to drive around.
"Whenever that fucking happens! Seriously, how far is this castle?"

For Paddy it was half a day's jog from his castle to the Mall. In full armor.

How is it taking you this long?

The hood of the car opens and I pop up.
"Because I removed the majority of the engine so I could sit in it!"

...Isn't the MallMobile a huge van? Why the hell would you need to remove the engine so you can get on it? Isn't there like 6,000 seats left or something?

I continue driving and see the castle.
I park and get out.
"Okay, let's rescue Paddy so he can get his title and we can all piss off to fuck shit up on some other planet."

"Alright then." I say, before pulling out my grenade launcher and blowing a hole in the wall of the castle. "Let's go."

"I was thinking maybe we try to talk to the guys who own the castle, but blowing their shit up works too."
I climb through the hole.

"I heard that. Please be more subtle."

I begin setting some more explosives. "Sorry what was that Paddy?"

I facepalm.
"Oh god is this what it feels like to be you, Knife?"

"I would like at least one person left alive for me to receive my title from."

"Okay. Will do."

I blow a hole in the floor, and jump down a level. "I dunno Trilby, probibly."

"I'll get you a medal for putting up with our shit, then."
I hop down after Knife.

I hop down after Trilby.

"Yeah, they'd give him a cross for it. The back would say FOR VALOUR IN THE FACE OF OTHER PEOPLE'S SHIT."

"Yea? That doesn't sound that bad actually." I say, before pulling out a megaphone. "Paddy, where you at?"

I start walking towards Paddy, using the tracking device to guide me.
"Anybody here?"

Is there anybody... OUT there?

I hop into the drivers seat and accelerate into the multiple holes in the castle.

I stop and walk back to the others, where I see the MallMobile, crashed underneath the second hole.
"What the actual fuck?"

"The actual fuck, or as I'd like to put it the truth, is that this vehicle is unsuitable for the current task and we may require another automobile which is more suited for the job."
I pull out several jerry cans of gasoline.
"Do you have a lighter?"

"We don't need an automobile. Which is why it was parked outside."

"Ah but remember the famous saying Trilby! 'Think inside the cylinder!'. If we follow that advice, we can do anything in life!"

"Okay... now, how in the hell does that saying lead you to STEALING MY CAR AND CRASHING IT INSIDE A CASTLE YOU FUCKING TWAT!?"

"Here's my question. How was it helping us, sitting out there, in the cold?"

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