"G'day Sis, how've you been?" Knife asks as he swivels around in the pilot's chair to face Sister.

I shoot Knife in the shin.

I start building a ladder.

"HEY KNIFE IF YOU COULD PULL UP A SECURITY FEED AND HELP ME FIND OUT WHERE THE FUCK I NEED TO GO THAT'D BE NICE."

"OWSONUVABITCH!" I yell, hopping on my uninjured foot. "What the fuck was that for!?"

Meanwhile, Salt's plees go unanswered. Even if Knife could hear him, he'd have to be in the SERCURITY CENTER to even see him, let alone pull up a sercurity feed.

"FUCKING HELL, SOMEBODY HELP!"

A signpost looms on the horizon, where it points to? Nobody knows.

I bump into the signpost and run my hand across it.

"Great fucking help you are."

"Sorry about that."
I shoot Knife in the other shin.
"I meant to shoot you in that leg."

Knife-28:
"G'day Sis, how've you been?" Knife asks as he swivels around in the pilot's chair to face Sister.

"Oh, not bad."

TrilbyWill:
I shoot Knife in the shin.

Knife-28:
"OWSONUVABITCH!" I yell, hopping on my uninjured foot. "What the fuck was that for!?"

TrilbyWill:
"Sorry about that."
I shoot Knife in the other shin.
"I meant to shoot you in that leg."

The bullet bounces of the metal of my other shin and zips off into the distance. "I re-illiterate Trilby, WHAT THE FUCK?!" I yell.

"Oi, Sister you there?" Knife says, snapping his fingers.

"BORED!"
I pull out my Gauss rifle, attach the scope, and shoot Salt in the shin.

"Hello? Narrator? What do?"

"I was about to say watch out for stray bullets."

Well... There's not much to do when lost in a forest.

_(noirlac)

I suppose there's time to chat up the local warlock community.

"Halt foreigner! Ye are not welcome in hither woods."

"Since when have you been this disturbingly vague and foreshadow-y?" Knife asks, raising an eyebrow.

"..." I fire my grenade launcher at Trilby, leaving him to shake off the effects of a point blank flash-bang as I limp off.

Due to the fact that I'm carrying a shitload of explosives and flammable liquids, the flashbang causes me to light up like the fifth of November. Oh, and I'm blind, deaf and can't walk, either.
"OH GOD WHY!? WHY YOU BASTARD!? WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU WHICH WARRANTS THIS!?" I scream. "A CURSE ON THE HOUSE OF -28!"
I respawn next to Knife and slap him in the face.

"Oh hey there friends! Don't worry I'm not gonna do anything, I'm just a little lost and also have no idea what I'm supposed to be doing. I used to be a warlock too, then some asshole took my magic away."

I phone Trilby.
"Dude, what's going on? Cause I kinda...I uh...I kinda lagged behind you all...I was tired...the bench looked comfy. You understand."

I hack into the phoneline.
"Yeah, gimme an update as well, I'm kinda lost here"

I carve into the ground with my broken sword: DEAR GOD SOMEONE FUCKING FIND ME.

"Well, you see Zombie... I shot Knife, Salt's wandered off somewhere, Sister's gone looking for Better-Knife, Paddy's still missing, Sigma's... doing something and that's about everything that's happened."

Paddy the Second:
"Oh hey there friends! Don't worry I'm not gonna do anything, I'm just a little lost and also have no idea what I'm supposed to be doing. I used to be a warlock too, then some asshole took my magic away."

"The man is butchering the English language. Allow me the pleasure of eviscerating him."

"Nay, I shall speak with him first. Werst thou from traveler?"

"Well I used to be from earth, but then that went to shit or something, now I guess I'm just from the mall."

"Right well-HOLY SHIT SNOW!" I run into the outside world to enjoy the snow.

I build a snowman.

I rap weakly against the security room door before slinking down against it dejectedly.

I go find a workshop and start building some robot limbs.

Paddy the Second:
"Well I used to be from earth, but then that went to shit or something, now I guess I'm just from the mall."

"Hmm, one of the Fighters. I have a task for you, traveler, if you are interested."

I clap my hands even further together. "Now you're talking! What can I do for you?"

"GODDAMIT I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE."

He points deep into the woods, his hand glowing in the dark night.

"Not two miles toward the rising sun, across the river Charon lies Harstrad. Take this."

He hands you a staff wrapped in wool.

"Present it to the villagers and return here. You will be rewarded."

After walking, well, limping for a while, I come across some markings carved into The Mall's tiles, as if scrawled by a madman. "Oi Salt, you around?!" I yell, cupping my hands together.

"Knife? KNIFE THANK GOD WHERE ARE YOU!?"

I take the staff and carefully store it in my bag. "I won't let you down!" I begin to run towards the rising sun. "I hope."

"Wait Charon!?"

I peer over Knifes shoulder.
"Thats some crazy looking scribblings there"