Rex barely manages to recognize April's impromptu bike-missile before hitting the boosters to evade it. She lands with a loud THUD! as dust and gravel kick up all around her, clipping the tail end of Rex's board. The impact sends Rex flying backward and his board skyward. He manages to turn in mid-air and roll as he hits the asphalt. His board lands far in front of the crater April produced and sputters as it lands nose-first into the ground. As April merrily cruises along, Rex curses under his breath and hops back on, stomping on the boosters in an attempt to catch up.
Probably only post of the night
The Writer's Table | Mark
Mark looked over at Jake who suddenly started moving and nodded.
"Of course I mean outside OUTSIDE. Where else would you test the latest in flight and ground and water craft?" Mark asked as he watched Regis Mark-5's antics.
"What's wrong with them going out there? It's not like its filled with phlogiston." He continued before wondering if it was filled with phlogiston.
The Bar | Puce and Kurumu and Lilith
Puce looked at the little spider bot and grabbed a bottle from the wall. It wasn't exactly what Regis Mark-5 had asked for but perhaps it would work.
"This is distilled essence of terror. Try some." Puce said as he poured the Black Metallic thing a drink.
"Uncle Puce are you sure you should be serving that THING a drink? I mean it seems to want to destroy everything." Lilith said as she poked at it with an extended claw.
"It's okay Lilith. It doesn't look too dangerous."
As Rex propelled himself towards the Angel Killer, April looked behind her and saw him... just as she activated the smoke. A large billowing black cloud of smoke enveloped the man that was trailing her.
"I hope you don't have asthma!!!" She called out gleefully as she brought the Bike to a halt, watching for Rex to come out of the cloud.
Hadrian, having finished showering, exited the tub and covered his lower regions with a white towel that, to his surprise, had his initials monogrammed into it in gold. Stepping in front of the mirror, he took in his appearance. He hummed as he pulled at his hair, examining its length. The former mop of curly hair on his head was now riding down to his shoulders.
"Hmm... I suppose it looks nice enough," He mused, wearing a small grin. He moved some of his hair from his face, "I think I'll be keeping this for a while."
His grin turned into a frown as he looked at all of the stubble he has accumulated on around his mouth and chin.
"As for you..."
~-Minutes of shaving, and other assorted grooming antics later-~
Hadrian walked out of the washroom, covered up in a large white bath robe (well, it was large to everyone else. It fit just fine on Hadrian), looking much better than he did when he emerged from the his room.
Well hello there!
"I have to say, that's much better!" He said with a smile. He gave a nod of appreciation to Puce. "Thank you for that, my friend!"
Megas XLR really needs to come back.
He glanced down to find what seemed to be a rather large spider crawling about.
"Oho, what's this?" He knelt down on one knee in front of the spider-bot, looking quite amused. "It seems we have another visitor!"
One of Regis' legs swipe Lilith's poking claw away as it turns to regard her.
"Do not touch the Regis Mark-5, or it will be the last thing you will have ever touched in your life."
Hadrian got on one knee to examine the thing, but uhhh...he was perhaps not away of the table with the red-haired male Arrancar, the brown-haired female Arrancar, and the small boy that was sitting with them...who chose that moment to get out of his seat and walk over. He was a six-year-old boy with shortish black hair, dark blue eyes, Caucasian skin, and casual clothes on.
"Hiya, Mr. Hadrian! Whacha' doing?"
It was at this point that the drink Puce was going to serve Regis was fully poured. At this stage, the robot's head-body turned to face the bar counter and a...metallic extension shot out to spear/hybrid the drink and pull the whole thing in. Almost instantly, the robot's mass increased...slightly.
"Your meager offerings do not impress the Regis Mark-5. Only the total destruction of the cosmos shall be sufficient."
Here, well umm...was the Writer looking a bit nervous?
"Eh heh heh heh... Well, you see I ummm... I've been reading this longstanding tale called Neon Genesis Evangeleon: Nobody Dies, and April is essentially the mortal enemy of Angels, so...
The area outside of the bar, out from its surface and into unfettered chaos, began to shudder as four red eye slits appeared.
THROUGH LICENSE OF HE WHO IS CALLED "I AM", I HAVE COME.
THOUGH MY FEET SHALL CORRUPT THE BASE EARTH, I SHALL BE UNYIELDING IN MY TASK.
YOU HAVE TASTED THE FRUIT OF KNOWLEDGE, AND THUS RENDERED YOURSELVES MORTAL.
I AM THE WAVE OF DESTRUCTION, THE END TO ALL THINGS.
AZREAL, THE ANGEL OF DEATH, HAS ARRIVED.
MAKE PEACE WITH YOUR GOD NOW...BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE.
A giant THING floated out of the darkness. Largely, it seemed to be a gigantic humanoid brimming with power. Skyscraper tall, all in black, it had a humanoid torso with long arms ending in three long fingers. The head resembled a cowl for a cloaked man, and with the red eyes it was easy to see how such a thing might be the basis for the Grim Reaper. At its waist was a huge glowing energy core putting off loads of a violet energy that seemed to course through the thing's body. Its lower half was a series of long giant tendrils ending in more like his hands. This creature had used its not too inconsiderable powers to perceive and locate a being responsible for killing a pantheon. Feeling cross-dimensionally slighted by such an act, the being known as Azreal removed itself from a certain Eva-filled universe and came here to exact some sort of ultimate judgement...and found this race happening!
Oh god why.
As April smugly awaits on her bike, a red flash is faintly seen through the smoke. A second later, the cloud dissipates as Rex spins his demonic sword around in an huge arc, looking quite anime. Erina had finally recovered from the simulation escapade and not a moment too soon. As Rex was about to taunt April again, the booming voice of the Eva-universe Angel cause him to look up in awe. He looks back down at April, who was also looking up at the giant angel thing.
He sighs again. Really... a giant alien Angel!? I've gotta stop following this lady around. She's gonna end up getting me killed!
"Well well... You've gotten yourself into another fine mess, sir. Please exercise caution this time."
Rex's expression turns blank as his eyes glow gold once again. "Normally, I'd say you're on your own, but that thing will definitely catch both of us if we run." Rex grips his sword tightly and revs his board up a bit. "So... How are we takin' this thing down, boss?"
"Hiya, Mr. Hadrian! Whacha' doing?"
Hadrian turned his examining gaze towards the little boy who had addressed him. His small grin had turned into a frown as he noticed the other two people at the table. He stood up, now looking down at the child.
"Who might you be, little one? I do not recall introducing myself to you before," He said, adjusting his robe. "And as for what I was doing, I was simply taking a look at the little spider-creature over here. Regis, I believe it said it's name was."
The Writer's Booth | Mark
Mark looked over at the view port and back to Jake and sighed as he pulled up the specs for... whatever it was... outside, dominating his view of trans-dimensional space. After pausing to look up ... nothing ... he still knew what it was. Azrael ... the Angel of Death in Giant Robot form.
"Why... do I even ..." Mark said before he looked at the scene at the Bar.
The Bar | Puce, Kurumu and Lilith
Puce paused his dealings with Regis Mark-5 and turned towards Hadrian and Neil as Kurumu stepped in to introduce the two.
"Hadrian... this is Neil. He's Ellie and Roy's son." Kurumu said as she assumed that Hadrian had met the Arrancar... the ones the Yuroichi had vouched for.
"Isn't that something." Puce said as Lilith squatted down to muss up Neil's hair.
"So... Regis. seriously... you want what?" Puce asked the little Machine Spider.
The Outside | April
At first April was scared but that was before she took a swig of full Archangel's blood. Her fear diminished into nothingness and she knew that she could do no wrong. There was not a single soul... not a single God in the cosmos that could harm her.
"We kill it... of course." April said as she drew her sword from its scabbard and revved the engine on her hover bike.
"Piece of cake." She said as the sword in her hand morphed into sub-machine gun.
The fight started... April wanted her to see how much blood this Angel had in its body.
Rex watched as April's sword morphed into a SMG. "So she can do that too, huh?" Rex reverts Erina into her pistol form again and squeezes the trigger, aiming for the large energy core of Azreal. The red ball of energy slowly amassed itself in front of the gun's barrel.
Charge at 15%...
The Writer points to a sign above his head.
Your roleplaying experience is subject to change at a moment's notice. Please do not panic.
And...he grinned as he watched.
Meanwhile...giant monster attack. Azrael was being fired upon by a Lucifer machine gun, and thus raised its hands once the first shots struck its body to create an interfering death-field between its hands to decay further shots with his energy. The Eva-verse Angel did not bleed, period. The shots had penetrated into black hardened flesh and then...nothing. Part of the problem is, of course, that the life of one of these bastards is really contained in the core...but it didn't look like anything was getting near that... Not under normal circumstances.
MINE IS CORRUPTION AND DEATH OF ALL THINGS.
THERE IS NO END OF ME, ONLY THE END THROUGH ME.
And because the Angel believed that death was inevitable - as it only had to get close enough before its energy rotted and corroded things - it did not project any blasts of energy at the two. Not yet.
Neil considered for a moment on that.
"Umm...maybe we haven't? I dunno how that works."
He turned to the two Arrancar sitting nearby.
"Mom? Dad? Do you guys know 'im?"
The two of them looked at each other, then back at Hadrian.
Roy: I don't know him.
Elsie: I would've recognized a wolf I knew right off. We've never met.
Then, Kurumu introduced them as Puce mussed up the kid's hair, which he resisted with a token kid-like effort.
"But yeah. I'm Neil, and that's...the coolest robot ever."
Which...leads us into Puce asking the thing what it wants. And with that, its music started up again, facing uce again and sprouting weapon limbs from on top of its head-body.
"I am the Replicant Engineered for Galactic Infiltration and Sabotage Mark-5. I will destroy all things in the universe. People, cities, and even planets fear the Regis Mark-5, whose power and path to conquest cannot be stopped by anything."
Neil blinked at this and turned to his folks.
"Can I have one?"
Hadrian frown deepened, ignoring the homicidal robots rant.
"Well, I do not recall revealing my nature to you people either," He said, sounding slightly irritated. "But I suppose it doesn't really matter now."
He sighed, and scratched at his chin. "I think I'll get changed into some more... suitable clothing. I can't just wander around the Pub in nothing but a bath robe, can I?"
He gave a small bow of the head to Neil and his parents, and walked to his room. As he was walking, one of his feet collided with Regis and sent it flying through the air and into a wall. It fell to the floor with an audible crunch, though it was, thankfully(?), in one piece. Hadrian's frown was replaced with an amused grin which everyone could see as he turned to shut the door to his room.
Charge at 32%...
As the large Angel hovered closer to Rex, he flipped his board around and slowly started pulling away, his pistol still aimed at Azreal's core around his waist. Seeing April fire into the thing with no effect, he swallowed some spit as the ball of energy in front of him got larger and larger...
The Writer's Booth | Mark
Mark turned to Jake for a moment as Regis Mark-5 hit the wall with a dull thud.
"You're really a dick you know that?" Mark said as he chuckled at Jake. A moment later, the sign caught fire, showering the booth in ashes before Mark turned back to look at the scene.
The Bar | Puce, Kurumu and Lilith
Puce chuckled as Regis Mark-5 went flying through the air and hit the wall behind the writer's booth. A second later, the Spider Bot was thrown into the air by a spring board that was suddenly created underneath it. Everyone's eyes followed Regis Mark-5 trajectory as a maw sprouted from the wall, opening wide in anticipation of a snack.
Turning back, Puce looked over at Neil and grabbed a large hunk of scrap metal from underneath the bar. Only it wasn't metal anymore... it was a copy of Regis Mark-5, though its programming had been altered to protect Neil as opposed to destroying the cosmos.
"Here you go Neil... don't tell your parents I made this for you."
The Outside | April
April noticed that her SMG rounds weren't quite having the desired effect that she wanted and the SMG disappeared from her hands, replaced by a Helltech MGL (Multiple Grenade Launcher).
Six rapid trigger pulls was all it took to launcher the High Explosive Rounds at Azreal.
"Come on you bastard... just die already!!!"
"I think I'll get changed into some more... suitable clothing. I can't just wander around the Pub in nothing but a bath robe, can I?"
The male Arrancar shrugged.
Roy: It worked for Arthur Dent.
The Regis Mark-5 went flying into a wall, and then hit a spring board, and...promptly headed into a mouth that grew out of the wall.
"You're really a dick you know that?"
He put on a captain's hat.
What? But that doesn't- How is that- WHAT THE SENSE MAKE?!
"By tah whee, where does that mouth go to? And does this mean you've just created the Regis Mark-6?"
Neil looked at hunk of highly-durable nano-hybrid-metal and grinned. Meanwhile...
Okay, so Rex wasn't actually firing anything yet, leaving April to do something about this huge Reaper still, which took the form of some hellish RPGs. The whole creature rose and its large tendrils hands stopped her empowered rockets, a loud and bone-chilling grown indicating that there had been some sort of effect...as the Angel continued to rise over their heads so now they saw more of the numerous lower-limbs than the rest of the body which...began to bomb them with volleys of its corrupting death power!
The Writer's Booth | Mark
Mark looked at Jake and pulled up a scene on one of the many monitors that were showing PubTV tm at the moment and suddenly it flickered over to what looked like some sort of factory or smelting plant.
"You've probably seen that Transformers movie back in the day before Michael Bay got his hands on it. Do you remember what Unicron's digestive tract looked like? A bunch of claws that dropped some captured Autobots into a vat of Acid? Something like that." Mark said as he tried to look for a video sequence that showed what he was talking about.
"I believe you're looking at Regis Mark-5.1. I don't think there's enough change to qualify for a new version number." Mark said as Regis Mk 5.1 looked up at Neil curiously.
The Bar | Puce, Kurumu and Lilith
Lilith looked at Neil and looked back at her "Uncle" Puce and smiled.
"That was really nice of you Uncle Puce. Though I'm sure Uncle Roy and Auntie Ellie might not be too pleased with the gift after they said no to Cousin Neil." Lilith said as before she looked at her Auntie Kurumu.
"You two are going to be such great parents." She said, causing Puce and Kurumu to look at each other. It was at that point that Puce pulled the Ring that Knife had given him back at the old place out of his pocket and presented it to Kurumu.
"Ummm... Kur HURK!" Puce started to say before he was interrupted.
"YES!!" The Succubus said as she tackled him.
The Outside | April
April swore to herself as she started avoiding the Death Powered Bombs, the MGL morphing back into a sword... a dark aura of its own flashing into life.
The Dark Aura reached out and absorbed a few of the Deathly Bombs, combining Azreal's Death Energy before sending it back towards Azreal.
"Open wide!!!!" She called out as she sent Azreal's Death Ball back at Azreal's head.
I'MA FIRIN'... AND CHARGIN'
Charge at 53%...
As the Angel rose above and the bombs started falling, Rex quickly put his pistol down and stomped on the boosters once again. Although the board had taken some damage before, it managed to handle smoothly as Rex sped through the array of bombs. Hitting a ramp and flying upward, Rex cursed as he saw the board's boost gauge was now half empty. He launched the half-charged shot, a demonic fireball the size of a small truck, towards Azreal's core and immediately started charging another shot.
The Writer's Table | Mark
The lights seemed to burn into Mark's eyes as he opened them, a dull film having built up over the past few hours. He was tired... damn tired.
Looking at the scene, outside and the scene inside, he assured himself that everything was fine. Looking over at Jake, he noted a new scar on his fellow writer's arm. A surgical scar that was now preventing his fellow writer from doing any writing.
"Well... could have been worse." Mark muttered to himself as indeed it could have been worse.
In the Real World, a man entered a VA Hospital with the intent of getting a penile implant to help assist with is urinary tract issues that he was facing. The surgery had been a complete success. However, in the ensuing recover process, the nursing staff had kept his junk under ice to deal with the swelling. What the nursing staff failed to do was remember that flesh does not due well with long term exposure to cold. Once they realized what was going on, it was too late. The man had to undergo additional surgery to remove some 55% of his penis due to frostbite. It was not a good day for that man.
Looking around and seeing Puce getting assaulted by Kurumu, Hadrian watching the Arrancar parents and their progeny, Neil. Mark smiled before laying his head back down on the table.
"I wonder what's going on Outsite?" He muttered to himself as his eyes closed.
Outside | April
Indeed what was going on outside indeed. Suffice to say, sending a bolt of elemental death back to a Giant Robotic Angel of Death was pretty much a useless act. Something that pissed April off even more. If there was one thing that she hated more than lost profit, it was wasted energy.
The Hover Bike's engine red lined as she twisted the accelerator and she put some distance between herself and the Giant Death Angel. It was time for something new. Something better.
Depressing a button, the Hover Bike came to a full stop and began decompiling itself into various pieces of power armor. Gauntlets, Chest Piece, Jump Assisting Null Gravity Boosters, Energy Blades, Machine Guns, Rockets. It was something out of a high tech anime... kind of Robotech New Generations Cyclone technology save for one thing. It wasn't hunting down Invid. It was hunting down an Angel.
As she completed the suit up process, she grabbed the Rebellion Sword and had it morph one more time. This time into a nice shoulder mounted Rail Gun deal and she stood there... as energy started building up in the magnetic acceleration coils.
"This is gonna hurt... but it's gonna hurt him more than it down me.' She muttered to herself as anchors extended out of her armored ankles and planted themselves into the ground.
Jake did not react to the whole business of whether or not the Regis Mark-5 could be so easily dissolved in a Unicron stomach, but he decided to let it go too, and would refer to 5.1 as simply 'Regis'. He had grown silent, though, as the scar on his arm did in fact impede things for a time. However...there was a loud [url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UNe6xApsGDY]SPLLLEEECH!!![/ur] sound from his right shoulder as a third arm with claws grew in, picked up his pen, and got back to work.
"What, did you think I'd be out for long? I've got a condition. My brain fills up with ideas so fast that I have to DO something with 'em."
Roy and Elsie both looked over and busted out laughing at the sudden attack upon the Puce. For her part, Elsie was pretending not to have heard with her exceptionally-good hearing that Neil was concealing a small war machine. Neil looked around innocently and then snuck off with his newfound friend.
"So, do you play any games?"
"The Regis Mark-5.1 is an updated copy of the Regis Mark-5, made for defense and protection. It was not programmed for games."
"Oh, I see. So, you're kinda' new, like me. There's lots of stuff I don't understand yet either, but I'm already a six-year-old kid. Can I just ask one thing? Cool it with the Big McLargeHuge titles? Just be Regis, okay?"
"The Regis will comply."
Well, close enough. Small steps, Neil. Now, go play.
Yeah...that return-to-sender idea WAS pointless. It just re-absorbed the power. However, Rex's actions had been more useful. He shot a big blast at the thing and...while Eva-type Angels tended to be bigger than mechs...a truck-sized demonic blast was sort of a big thing when it threatened a core. Suffice to say, Azrael bent over and swung its right arm over the big core and took the blast right then and there. A huge explosion followed and...cracked. The arm was cracked and crumbling where hit. Azrael straightened with a hollow wraith-scream as the arm fell to the ground. After that, though...they had a problem. Several...problems. In NGE: Nobody Dies, a common threat to be found are the Angel-spawns, splintered off beings who are the mook-servants of the core creature. Much as humans - children of Lilith - are referred to as the Lilim, spawns of the Angels are named after themselves. From the arm of the creature formed a number of smaller reaper-like forms with scything arms and claws! The Azraelim have come... And more than that, the actual Angel was mad now, and its eyes were trailing death beams inexorably towards the both of them!
Rex landed with a thud and smirked as he took in the damage he'd created.
Sir, I'd suggest not feeling smug until we've taken the thing down. Also, strongly suggest you watch your six. Rex's head tilts down a bit to see the swarm of mini-Azreals and the death beams.
"Son of a-"
Less bitching, more movement, sir.
"...Why the hell am I even in th--?"
Less bitching, more movement, sir. They're closing in quickly.
Rex groans again as he slams on the booster. Unable to dodge all of the mini-Azreals and unwilling to lose the gun's charge, they start cutting into his skin and his clothes get shredded. Luckily for him, the board was still strong enough to steer clear of the big mech's eye beams. Looking back, he screams out to April. "BLAST THE BIG FUCKER'S OTHER ARM OFF!!!"
Charge at 34%...
The door of the pub opened to a new patron.
A short man with even smaller limbs and a head massively over sized with a "N" written in permanent marker, Hell, Even the Captcha says "My Little Friend"!
He walked over to the counter, unaware of all the politics and madness of the Pub, The only thing on his mind was Why are the Bar Stools always so damn high? Must they rub it in?
After climbing up on the stool, he knocked on the counter and checked for any bartenders.
The Writer's Booth | Mark
Mark grinned at Jake. He was quite familiar with THAT particular condition, one that he himself seemed to suffer from, from time to time.
"Ahhhh... Doktorrrrr Corrrrrtex..." Mark noted with a faux German accent, as the miniature Doctor entered the establishment. It wasn't quite a surprise that Diablo would bring in THAT character. He did have a history with Puce and Kurumu... and one Queen Chrysalis.
Noting that Puce was Kurumu were still in the midst of being attack hugged by Kurumu, the ring now safely around her the ring finger of her left hand, Mark cleared his throat.
The Counter | Puce, Kurumu and Lilith
Seeing as how Uncle Puce and Auntie Kurumu were "official" Lilith decided to try her hand at being the bartender. It seemed like a rather easy thing to do. She wondered, briefly, who would be the bartender once Uncle Puce and Auntie Kurumu left the Pub for the honeymoon... and eventually the conception of Cousin Jac.
"Erm... Sorry sir... small bout of proposal-mania. How can I help .... hello?" Lilith looked around looking for the customer who had knocked on the bar... before looking down to see the Doctor.
"How can I help you?" She asked Doctor Neo Cortex, once again. She towered above him but with a quick
SNIP|SNIP|SNIP of her DNA, she shrunk down to his eye level.
The Outside | April
April frowned as the Rail Gun finally hit 100% charge. She hated being told what to do... especially by someone who barely got by killing a run of the mill Angel. However, she complied and pulled the trigger.
At first there was nothing but silence but finally the stored energy was released and allowed to travel up the magnetic acceleration coils in one massive energy pulse. Due to the properties of the pulse, the Mag Coils pulled the projectile, the 2,700-pound type used in a battleship's main gun, at damn near the speed of light.
So... you're probably thinking to yourself... wouldn't that rip the lady in half? Why yes it would. For every action there is an opposite reaction. However that's where the armor comes in. The reinforced frame not only kept April in one piece but prevented her from flying into the the void of Interdimensional space.
Another thing about something traveling at near the speed of light... whatever it is... it'll start melting due to the high amount of friction that it encounters within atmosphere. The result was 2,7000 pounds of molten steel being sent towards Azreal.
"Ow!" April complained as the energy of the shot vibrated her whole body before dissipating into the ground.
"Ahhh....DNA capable of being re-sized to allow shrinking and growing at will...Impressive....Can I get a Long Island Iced Tea and put in a twisty straw?" Cortex observed before ordering.
Must make a note of that... He thought before pulling out a note pad, He had since bought after transcribing the contents of his last one onto his computer.
"Also, can I get a blood Sample? I'd like to learn how you did that." He bluntly asked as he finished his note.
Lilith, not the most experienced bartender in the world, nodded and turned around to try to figure out how to make a "Long Island Ice Tea." As she did, she noticed that she was now too short to see the drinks at the top shelf. Fluttering the Dragonfly like wings, she took to the air to review what they had in stock.
It was strange... she couldn't find a mixology book anywhere. How did Uncle Puce know how to make so many drinks? (The Pub actually imparts the knowledge on the proprietor and bar staff). Shrugging, she grabbed some Iced Tea, some 180 Proof Everclear (People like strong drinks right?) , some Celery (That was long right?) and some Malibu Rum (It's sort of a coconut tropical flavor). Taking the mixture, she shook it in a shaker and strained it into a glass. As an afterthought, she complied with the Doctor's request and added a blood sample... into the drink, not realizing that the alcohol would destroy any genetic material, not to mention stomach lining and brain cells, she put in it.
"Here you go!" She said cheerfully as she slid the drink in front of the new Patron.
"I'm Lilith by the way. Pleased to meet you!"
"You really think I'm that stupid?"
Cortex watched on as Lilith tried, and utterly failed, to make the drink, facepalming at the part where she dropped her sample into the drink, It was like watching a trainwreck.
"I'm Lilith by the way. Pleased to meet you!"
Cortex picked out the celery before giving the remaining mixture a deadpan stare.
"And you seem to not have a single working brain cell in that skull of yours. This is NOT a Long Island Iced Tea. This is bad comedy..." He said as he pushed the drink away with a look of disgust.
"Further more, I wanted a Blood Sample, but thanks to your incompetence, Whatever you put into that wretched cesspit of a concoction is now too degraded for me to use. I would ask for you to try again, but years of working with useless monsters has taught me better. On you're way out, Please call your manager so I can lodge a complaint against you and this entire establishment. I bid you good day and may God have mercy on your soul." He finished, dipping into his Clancy Brown voice towards the end.
Still got it, Suck it Doom! He thought smugly to himself as he awaited her reaction.
A look of utter and total RAAAAAGE!! passed over Lilith's face as Cortex's words sunk in. To make matters worse, she thought that he had implied that she was a monster, something that she had tried on a daily basis to avoid being called while being raised on an Enclave base by Natsuki, who was not exactly human herself. A Deathclaw (originally and only then, genetically speaking, being raised by a Doclonius. It was enough material to give a would be bully a bully hard-on for 18 + years, even though she had surpassed them all academically and physically.
The look, however, soon faded from view and was replaced with something else entirely. Tears. All these years she had never cried in front of the bullies at her Enclave home because she knew that that was in their nature to act like that. Being tough was an asset in the Really Wild Wastes and so she just dealt with it day to day, making her Mother Natsuki and her Grandfather Proud as she graduated top of her class academically and in the Enclave Scout academy.
But this was something else. A total stranger... someone who had entered her HOME and decided to insult her? It was too much for her to handle. Bolting from the scene, she returned to her regular height and dropped through the trap door that lead to the Deathclaw Colony underneath the Pub.
"WAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!" She cried as she hopped in, her tail whipping in agitation and knocking it all over the bar, and Cortex.
The sound of shattering glass broke Puce and Kurumu from their reverie.
"What the bloody blue... Cortex?" Puce said recognizing the little Doctor that had been trapped inside a Star Saphire with them when Dillon went mad.
"Oh gods... the midget returns... thankfully without that bitch Chrysalis."
Cortex smirked as Lilith ran off crying, Feeling better about himself for it.
Least before she ended up splashing her horrible attempt at mixing on him.
".....REAL FUCKING MATURE YOU USELESS MUTANT!...." He shouted as he went looking for a tissue.
He found them just before he saw Puce and Kurumu, from the Twisted Metal Contest, arrive.
"Wait....YOU TWO ARE THE MANAGERS?!.....Ohhhh.....Well........Fuck...." He said as he instantly regretted everything he said since he enter the pub.
"......Soooooo.....I....see that Kurumu has got her body back....It....ahhh.....Looks well...." He said as he slowly climbed down the Chair and backed away.
Of course... As Cortex attempted to back away from the bar, he found himself getting closer to the bar somehow. Looking down at his feet, he saw that the floor wasn't just a floor anymore. It was a treadmill that was moving Cortex closer and closer to the counter where Puce and Kurumu waited for him.
A look of panic set into Cortex's face as he looked for a way to jump off, only to have rails lock him into place. There was no place to run.
"I don't think that we left off on too bad a term the last time I saw you. I mean you did get a Skunk to the face if before falling out the window but you were trapped in that Star Sapphire with us... and you might have helped getting us out. Who knows if that hobo would have gotten us out by himself." Puce said reassuringly.
"And it's not like we've seen you since... well we DID see Chrysalis... but that was in the past... the far far past." Kurumu said soothingly as she patted Cortex on the head.
"It's not like you flushed Kurumu down the toilet or anything..."
"and it's not like you just insulted our niece or anything... but you'll see we're quite the forgiving lot now that we've retired."
"Ohhh... speaking of forgiving... we had a gift for you. We thought that it would be nice for you to get one since you helped us out all those years ago." Puce said as he reached into his Messenger bag and pulled out something familiar and terrifying to Cortex...
The skunk... not just any skunk... but THE skunk that had plagued Cortex so many years before.
Cortex was fearful of what Puce was going to do to him, He had completely forgotten about flushing Kurumu down that public restroom.
He screamed in terror before Puce even took it out.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-........Wait.....That's it? Ju-Just him?...." He said as pointed to the Skunk that attacked him so many times in the past.
"..............Really....That's all.......Ok..." He calmly said before
pulling out his ray gun and fired at the Skunk, reducing it to ash in Puce's hand, holding the pair at raygun point as he moved towards the exit.
"AH! You think my crippling fear of Skunks is enough to defeat ME?! I'M DR. NEO CORTEX! MASTER OF SCIENCE! RULER OF EARTH!
AND NOW KILLER OF SKUNKS!
I AM INVI-"
Right on cue, a NPC Patron opened the door, slamming Cortex into the wall next to it.
When the door swung closed, Cortex was pressed against the wall in a rather painful looking fashion.
"....Why does this only happen to me?...." He said before he fell face down onto the floor.
"Riiiiiight..." Puce said as he willed the Main Doors to open once again, repeatedly, hitting Cortex's giant noggin, repeatedly.
"Some people never change." Kurumu said with a chuckle as the door to the Underground Colony opened up and another figure emerged. It wasn't Lilith... it was Fenris and he was PISSED.
"Show me the monkey who insulted my matriarch!!!" He screamed psychically before he took note of Cortex and once he did, strode over to the little scientist.
Picking up the Cor-TechTM Ray Gun, he crushed the tiny device before picking up the tiny prone figure and proceeded to roar in the little man's face.
Maybe I should have read up on Lilith before I made her cry. I mean I thought she was just a little girl O_O
"AHHHHHH! AHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Cortex screamed at the top of his lungs at the sight of the deathclaw and his sharp teeth.
"OHGODPLEASEDONTKILLME! IDIDNTKNOW! PLEASEIHAVEMILLIONSOFBRAINWASHEDMUTANTSTOCAREFOR!" He screamed as urine ran down his leg, thankfully masked by the drink Lilith spilled earlier.
Time seemed to slow down for the doctor as his entire life flashed before his eyes, everyone who ever mistreated him, everyone who was better than him, that sort of thing.
I did Post a Character Sheet for Lilith in AA one time prior to the current Arc for shits and giggles. She tackle hugged everyone. Why does everyone assume she's a child? She is 21 Years old... I guess that's either a very young Deathclaw or a very old one depending on who you ask.
Fenris looked at the Doctor in disgust before he dropped him on the floor. It wasn't that Fenris wouldn't have eaten the Doctor for his rather blatant rudeness towards the Deathclaw Colony's Matriarch... it was that Fenris was a bit of a anomaly in the Deathclaw community: A vegetarian, though it was required that he eat meat at least once a week, usually Sundays.
Also... the taste of Urine usually staid in ones mouth for a while and the disgusting flavor of Ammonia tainted everything one ate.
"Blech... smells like he soiled himself." Fenris said, though his mouth did not move. Cortex realized, in his terror induced haze that the Deathclaws that resided in this Pub were telepaths.
"Ensure that you do not insult the Matriarch once again... lest I change my mind about digesting you. You will be alive for a few days before my digestive juices eventually kill you." Fenris threatened before going back downstairs.
It was at this point, Puce helped Cortex back on his feet, feeling, once again, sorry for the little guy. It wasn't like Cortex was truly bad. He was bad at being bad in fact. It was just that Cortex probably was a nice guy some times and Puce was determined to bring that out in the mini-human in one way or another.
"Here you go." Puce said finally, putting a Long Island Iced Tea on the counter.
Voices could be heard outside the pub much to Cortex's horror, He was planning to meet the rest of the villains here before he was nearly killed.
Gray = Wesker
Slateblue = Bruiser
004E00 = Dr Doom
6C1504 = Bison
Link to Sheets (Read the First one for Bison and Bruiser, second Spoiler for Wesker and Doom)
"-And I'm telling you there is no chance in hell that a Nemesis T-type would lose to one of your SIN Replacement Bodies. I used to work in BOW production I know what I'm talking about!"
"Ahhhh...But what about the Teleporting? And the Sonic Booms? And the sheer strength of the models? It will take more then a Frankenstein with a Rocket Launcher to beat it."
"As a actual cyborg Frankenstein, I take offence to that statement."
"Guys, Guys, Guys...Lets not argue. Doom would body those scrubs and you want to why?"
"Uhhhh...Can we just go inside? I've got barmaids to heckle."
"Yeah, about that. Can you like not grope the female staff? That's the reason we have to go this pub now."
"Man fuck you Wesker! I have abs. Bitches love Abs."
"I have your medical records....with *Measurements*."
"Don't Test me."
"I used to rule Asia. ASIA."
"Oh No! Quick, you need to hide me! My Reputation can't take another incident like this! Please, I Begging you!" Cortex Pleaded, not wanting to lose what little standing he had among the group
Puce sighed... he recognized those voices... those damnable voices that had plagued him for quite some time and seeing that they were about to invade his establishment, made Puce more than a little nervous.
Villains? You could call them that. But more like like the Junior Varsity Level of Villainy. Not super dangerous by themselves but as a group, they could be a major source of destruction, among themselves, not their intended target.
So... let's cut to the chase.
Puce, seeing as how Cortex was the closest thing to an ally Puce had in the that group and the nicest one of the bunch, decided to mix things up a bit in that little group.
A wave of his fingers caused the biological wastes in Cortex's clothing and skin to literally jump off and hurl themselves into the sink behind the bar, followed by a liberal dousing of bleach.
The next thing that happened was surprising to Cortex and the Villains most of all.
Puce started sobbing... and Kurumu started smothering Cortex between her rather large tracts of land.
"Oh Cor-smexy! Take me away!" She purred as the door opened, making sure it was loud enough for the others to hear.
"Damn you Cortex... you'll rue the day you stole my Fiance away from me!!! DAMN YOU!!!!"
It was at this point that Mark, still seated at the Writer's booth put two fingers to his head and shot himself, brains spattering the walls before the slithered back into his skull.
"Seriously? I give you your freedom and you do this?" Mark muttered to no one really.
The Villains stood shell shocked at the sight as Cortex struggled to breathe with his face rammed into Kurumu's Chest.
"......Cortex?......COR-TEX...." Wesker said as he took of his sunglasses in disbelief
"....Fucking Drunk Chicks man, Any thing that moves..." Bruiser said, in total envy, I might add.
".....Doom has no Comment...only DAAAAAAAMMMMNNNNNN!"
"The Follies of Youth..." Bison said as he walked in and took a seat at a table by the wall, uninterested in the proceedings, He was above such behavior.
"MMMMMMHIMMMMGUYSMMMTHINGSMMMGOTMMMALITTLEWILDMMMMOHGOTTAGOMMMBYYEEEEEEE!" Cortex waved, his voice muffled as Kurumu carried him outside.
".....Barkeep! Gimme 4 of whatever they had!" Wesker ordered as he sat next to Bison.
"...Really? Man, That's down right decent for you Wesker!"
"....Who said they were for you guys? I need to get that image out of my head."
Bruiser was the most confused by the proceeding, unable to compute what he just saw.
"....Just how exactly....can they? She's twice his size!"
Outside the pub, Kurumu let go of Cortex as he was starting to smother to death.
Once he catched his breath, he began saying "THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU THANK YOU! NAME ANY DEMAND AND I WILL MAKE IT HAPPEN! After I take over the world and enslave humanity.".
Once they were out of hearing range of Cortex's friends, Kurumu could only laugh at Cortex and his thanks.
"Look... I still haven't forgiven you for that toilet flushing incident." Kururmu said as she remembered the sensation of getting flushed into a sewer system and the irate feeling that she had that Chrysalis had gotten the better of her.
"But I hate Bison even more than I hate you." She continued before she sat down on a bench that was located in the Zoo.
Meanwhile, back at the Bar, Puce started giving the Villainous Miscreants shots of what tasted like a strong blueberry rum... but was actually 190 proof Blueberry Moonshine. That's 95% alcohol for all you non-alcoholic math inclined kids out there.
"So... you guys look like you've been busy."
Wesker instantly took the 4 shots, Thinking it was what Cortex and Kurumu had, and began downing them one by one, much to everyone's disgust.
"Oh, That'll end well...Yeah, just got back from a big gig, Robbery style, Hit up a private Island, Robbed some Bank Accounts, Killed the owner and his Lucario Daughter. Hehehehe Real Good day. Anyway, Can I have a Budweiser and some Spicy and Sour Poffins? Got a image to maintain." The Machamp boasted about the Attack on Dillon's Island.
"Doom will have a Doom Equis with a Twisty Straw. And a Extra Large bag of Potato Chips.
AND IT WAS DOOM WHO KILLED THE BLUE FURRY THING!".
"I will accept nothing but your most Vintage Wine.....And some Nachos..." Bison said, struggling to keep his Regal air around his co-workers.
Back outside, Cortex recalled the whole flushing thing.
"Oh yeah....Well, there must be SOMETHING I can do-.....Of course. I better say sorry to that Barmaid. Just we Villains have a Standard to live up to, I needed to ensure I was still in the game..." He confessed, It was hard being the little man.