Kurumu hrmphed at Cortex's mention of villainous image to maintain before ruffling up his hair and her clothes but paused before dragging him back into the bar, they still had a good few minutes before they could go back in for this ruse to be convincing.
"Please... you got facially raped by a skunk over and over again. You allied yourself with a Horse-Lizard thing and you failed to get your wish. That's hardly the image I'd want as a villain and trust me... I've faced plenty of real villains... and that was before I even left High School." Kurumu said as she painfully tweaking Cortex's beard to make him look disheveled.
"Why don't you try doing something nice for a change... and yes... apologizing to Lilith would be a good start." Kurumu said as she gave it a good few more minuted before she would have to drag him in and pretend to have been worn out by the mini-scientist.
Puce, like a good host, gave all of the villains what they asked for, however, none of them had ever asked for clean dishes or glasses. For Bruiser... Puce gave him a couple bottles of a Chinese Busweiser Knockoff... Buttwiper some Ghost Chile Spiced sour Poffins. For Doom... he got a Doom Equis with a twisty straw... so twisted that he would need the lung capacity of a blue whale to get any liquid out of the said straw... not to mention the Doom Equis had been sitting on the shelf for years as no one BUT Doom drank it (it was spoiled as sin). For Bison... he grabbed a Vintage Wine... one of those extremely old wines that people bought as investments... that had long ago turned to vinegar and a plate of stale chips topped with Velveeta cheese (As fake a cheese as you could get).
"Enjoy." Puce said with a smile.
The Villains were about to dig into their pranked meals when Bison shot a glare at Puce, White eyes piercing, He quickly read the Bartenders mind.
He raised a hand and said "Stop.....Do not consume anything in front of you. Mr. [Puce's Real Name] here is about to give us our "REAL" orders...Isn't that right?", Giving a evil smile at the former Villager.
Confused by this, Bruiser checked the label of his beer.
"Buttwiper...Real classy little man. Now get me my fucking beer." The Machoke said as he splashed the contents of his Glass in Puce's face.
Doom was trying his very best to get the spoiled beer though the straw.
"GAH! THIS IS LIKE SUCKING ROCK THOUGH A STRAW! What type of place is this!?" He shouted.
Wesker was in a world of his own after he finished his shots.
Outside, Cortex recalled the dozens of Skunk attacks during the contest.
"It wasn't Rape it was merely Dry Humping. And Chrysalis was the only one in the contest that treated me with respect! AND I GOT MY WISH! IT JUST BACKFIRED!
Back where I come from, I am the GREATEST Evil Scientist in the WORLD! Fate brought me to my current Realm and I'm going to see it though until all bows before me!
AND IT DOESN'T HAVE BANDICOOTS!"
Once his was done with his rant, he added "Note this isn't me being good, this is me merely repaying you for getting me out of that jam....
Thanks again for that"
Sighing to himself, Puce tossed the plates and drinks into the trash bin and gave the villains their actual orders. He had to remember that Bison had the Psycho Power on his side and could read the minds and hearts of others. This time the food was real and the drinks were real.
However... Puce still fumed to himself as the trap door opened and Lilith reappeared, sniffling.
"Boy... if I see that mad little munkin again... I'm gonna skin him alive." The Deathclaw Matriarch said aloud as she started doing a bit of light work around the Pub. Anyone who wasn't drunk, would have noticed right away there was something a bit ... inhuman... about the girl who just popped out of the floor. Sure she looked like your average run of the mill 24 year old that had gone through military training but upon closer inspection they would have noticed that she had dragon fly wings that sprouted out of her back and that her skin was covered with microscopic fleshtoned scales. Anyone who touched her would have known that she was cold blooded for her skin was eternally cold.
Anyways... she started doing some work while Puce tried to figure out a way to make the Villains' stay a lot more uncomfortable.
With that in mind... Puce's mind disintegrated the barstools underneath the patrons without so much as a thought, not wanting to give Bison a chance to anticipate the action.
Outside, Kurumu frowned again.
"It's not like you gave the others much of a choice. You were always busy talking about taking over the world... and you were in the company of hero types... Of course you got along with Chrysalis. She's a villain too! But you know what? If you had just let us get to know you better... maybe people would have been nicer to you than think of you as some sort of constantly scheming neanderthal!
Wesker, Doom and Bruiser fell flat on their asses while Bison hovered as if he was still sitting.
"Come now [Puce's First Name], Is this any way to treat your guests? I'm certain that your Tribe has taught you better then that." He said, know just where to poke in Puce's spirit.
"So it was you, Pretty boy? You try that shit again, I'mma paint this whole damn room with your insides. NOW GET US SOME CHAIRS.....Minus one, Wesker can stay on the ground." Bruiser ordered as Wesker was now passed out from those shots.
"And get Doom some Dip for these Chips!"
"Don't give me any of that, I went to the Academy of EVIL, I have a Doctorate in EVIL and I nuked my Hometown during High School! I. Am. EVIL. That how it works. AND I AM NOT A NEANDER-" Cortex said before a NPC opened the door into his face.
"Ooooooooo....That was sheer chance, my point still stands....uhhhhhh..."
And thus did the disintegrated chairs suddenly reform themselves as Puce continued to grumble under Bison's continued taunting. If Puce had been much younger and fool hardy, he would have just drained Bison's life from his body and been done with it... but then Bison would have reappeared at the door. If he was much younger, he would have gone to the prison where they kept Bison and killed him then. But Puce could only sigh... and remember that he had long since given up on revenge.
"fine..." Puce said as he grabbed some bean dip for Bruiser's chips.
In the meantime, Kurumu decided that Cortex wasn't a lost cause.
"You see what happens when you try to act evil? You get hurt. It's karma. Try doing something nice for a change and something good might happen to you." Kurumu said as she snipped the top button from her blouse and tossed it aside, looking as disheveled as she could.
"Do yourself a favor and unzip your fly and pull your shirt through it."
After writing something in his notepad before tearing it out, he said"That is not Karma. Stuff like that happens no matter what my alignment. Now then..." Cortex said before he messed himself up a little as Kurumu suggested.
Then the pair of then walked back in, Kurumu pretending to be completely worn out with Cortex helping her to the counter.
He sat her down when she pretended to pass out and said "She's all yours. Diagnosis: Extreme Exhaustion. I prescribe a least 8 hours bed rest. Doctor's Orders. WOOOOOOOOO!" before he slipped the note into her hand and went to sit with the other Villains, chuckling at his one liner.
"HAHAHAHAHAH! IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE HE'S A DOCTOR!"
If Lilith was the read the note, it contained a rather poetic apology for his actions.
Puce frowned at Cortex's actions. What started as a favor to Cortex was quickly backfiring and Puce felt that the little Scientist was starting to outlive his welcome... as were his friends. Walking over to Kurumu, he picked her up and carried her into their room where the could hopefully talk in peace.
As he carried her, the note that Cortex had slipped in her hand fell out onto the ground where Lilith could find it.
Nodding at Puce, Lilith decided to take over as bartender for a while... hoping to perfect her bartending skills.
"So... can I get you all anything?" Lilith asked, not knowing who this bunch were.
"Maybe some jalapenos for those nachos or some wine for those poffins?" She suggested.
Cortex began to fix himself up a little until he heard Lilith's voice, at which he instantly dunked under the table and prayed she got the note.
".....No....I'm good...." Bruiser said as he stared at Lilith, not in the sense he was known for but more like "Have I seen you before?".
Either way, Lilith found it rather unsettling.
"I will accept that offer for Jalapenos..." Bison said as he wiped a little cheese off the side of this mouth.
"Doom will have a refill of Both Dooms Equis and some more of that Beam Dip. HEY WESKER! YOU WANT ANYTHING?!" Doom asked before checking up on the drunken STARS Member, who was lying flat on the ground in a pile of drool.
"......I don't think he wants anything."
Lilith did as requested and grabbed all of the items requested... however... the unsettling feeling that she was getting from being stared at by Bruiser sort of caused her to become quite confused.
In the end, Doom got a bottle of Jalapeno flavored Beer and Bison got a bowl of Doom Equis while Wesker... poor poor Wesker got a bowl of Nacho Cheese accidentally spilled on him when Lilith tripped over herself and spilled Bison's Nachos on the ground.
"Ohhhh! I'm so sorry!" Lilith "said" as she hastily grabbed Bison another plate of Nachos. Curiously... Bison wasn't able to read any of Lilith's thoughts, her being a telepath and all.
Finally, Bruiser's staring got the better of her and Lilith turned towards him before asking:
"Erm... is something wrong? You're staring at me and its giving me the creeeeeeps!" She "said", her body going into defensive mode (Her scales grew a bit larger and thicker for defense while her claws grew to their standard Deathclaw size).
Wesker merely snored though his Shot induced coma as the Melted Cheese flowed all over his head.
"..ihhkjhhkjhhhuiiiiiii...tyrant, no stabbing...." He wheezed as Cortex sneaked out of the Pub for fear of his Friends causing a uproar like he did.
Cortex has left the pub
Doom looked at his beer, A habit he got into after Puce's attempt to poison him.
"This is not a Doom Equis.........Eh, Close enough." He said as he took a slip....
And actually ended up liking the possibly spicy Beer!
"When you get past the pain, the burning, the internal organ damage, It's actually pretty good..........."
And just like that, Doom fell off his chair and passed out from Organ Failure.
M.Bison rolled his eyes, If this was Bison's Asia, She'd be in the gallows by now, Oh how he missed being able to publicly execute anyone he disliked.
"....Just clean this up....And get a doctor for those two..." He ordered, the service in this place left much to be desired.
".......Deathclaw claws.............You wouldn't know someone by the name of Fenris would you?" Bruiser asked when Lilith asked him.
He might get his pay day from Viscus after all...
When Bison mentioned being ruler of Asia and public executions, Lilith could only say one thing.
"But you're not anymore are you... You're in Nexus and I'm the leader of the people to live underneath... So play nice or meats back on the menu." She said with a snarl that contrasted her helpful demeanor not 10 seconds ago. As she said this, she sent mental images of the roughly 10,000 Deathclaws under the Pub that would have had no compunction about rending Bison limb from limb.
But Lilith was taken aback for a moment when Bruiser mentioned Fenris.
"He's my Primary Alpha. Leader of my Royal Guard. What's it to you" Lilith said with narrowed eyes, while a third and fourth arm sprouted from her sides and edged towards her two Enclave issue plasma pistols.
Bison was impressed by Lilith's skills as a Telepath, Giving a nod to Bruiser as a collective plan formed.
"Royal Guard? What are you? some kind of Princess? and yet you wait tables in this dump? Well...If you know where Fenris is, Tell him his best-est buddy in the whole wide world Bruiser is waiting for him with arms wide open..." Bruiser stated with a evil chuckle.
Years of working with Psychic Types back in his Team Rocket days teached him how to hide his thoughts, so all that Lilith could hear was Bison's side of their mental conversation.
....Indeed, She does seem to lack basic intelligence, At least with [Puce's Real Name], he was incompetent on purpose, her excuse? Bet someone spat in the test tube....
....I can see that, Must be the king's bastard...
....I don't think becoming a Nobel works like that...then again...if she could get in...
....Well, if you're going to do THAT, going to need more rope...
They were gloating her into a fight, Bruiser fought creatures like Deathclaws for a Living and Bison could easily stand his own against whatever they threw at him.
Having spent her young life being bullied and goaded into fighting by human children in Enclave, she knew what they were trying to do. She'd even heard worse than what Bison was implying. She'd shown those bullies in the end by out classing them in all the academic classes as well as training. She ended up graduating First in her class and becoming a high ranker soldier than the rest of them.
However... these weren't those bullies that were sitting in front of her talking about her as if she was some retard fit to be hogtied. These ... humans... had no excuse thinking of her in this light. They weren't children. They were adults and fully aware of what they were doing. And then it happened. All the pent up rage of years of abuse exploded all at once, like a powder keg.
"I'm sorry boys... you two are about to get expelled from the Pub." She said as she pulled the trigger on both her Enclave Issue Plasma Pistols... sending glowing globes of what looked like mucus at the two.
Simultaneously, she took to the air, where she could stay out of their reach.
Meanwhile... a patron who had been steadfastly quiet through the exchange continued to watch... a 1216 within reach of his hands... not that he needed it mind you... but he watched with interest. Lilith was his "cousin" after all as well as his partner in the Enclave.
When Lilith fired with her Plasma Pistols, Bison warped out of the way onto a Barstool by the Counter.
Bruiser just flat out took it to the chest, His hardened skin and muscle No-Selling the Plasma shot, leaving only a slight burn mark where it hit.
"Oh my, It would appear that I have been provoked and assaulted by one of this Establishment's Staff. Looks like I'll have to defend myself..." Bruiser said in a mock innocent tone.
"First things first, I will have to apprehend the Attacker as she proves to be a threat to herself and others!" He added before leaping up and grabbing Lilith's Leg before bringing her down on one of the Many Tables in the pub.
Doom began to stir after that acid of a beer he just drank.
"oooohhhhh......Doom doesn't feel good...." He groaned as he nearly tripped over Wesker on his way to the bathroom.
"prthaps yiru the massmer ogf unblocking weill find we...."
The Writer's Booth | Mark
Mark looked up from where he was seated with Jake, the two having gone silent for a while and shook his head as Bruiser knocked Lilith down from the air onto some of the tables, sending drinks flying through the air.
"I thought that Darren would have had the good sense to stop being a jerky jerk." The Writer/Dramatist mutter before returning to his drinks.
The Bar | Lilith
As Bruiser pulled Lilith from the sky, he noticed something strange happen as he gripped her legs. They felt ... denser... if you could qualify what an increase in density felt like. Lilith was more than prepared for her impact upon the tables and countered it by increasing the density of her muscles and bones and cutting off the nerve impulses that registered pain. Additionally, her body pumped additional blood in to the predicted impact point, further reducing the damage of Bruiser's opening move. She wasn't some amateur that they were facing.
The tables splintered into several dozen wooden pieces as Lilith's body impacted them. As planned, Lilith's sudden change in mass and density had a positive side effect. It threw Bruiser a bit off balance and he found himself being pulled towards the Death Claw Matriarch by her feet before he was thrown through the air towards Bison.
Using the momentum from throwing Bruiser, Lilith rolled back into a crouch and opened up on the two once again with her plasma pistols while Bruiser was flying through the air.
Underneath the Pub... Fenris sensed the battle going on and he started racing towards the trapdoor to the Pub that connected the Pub to the underground colony.
"BLAST THE BIG FUCKER'S OTHER ARM OFF!!!"
Jake ends his silence and points his finger to the guy that was watching Lilith fight.
"I have been keep tabs here. Who be this guy?"
The shot heard around the
world pub managed to pierce and drop the other arm. This too also converted into a number of Azraelim. The Angel itself was now armless...but was it harmless? HELL NO. With a amall army of bladed minions on the offensice and no damage to its core, Azrael merely reconfigured himself into a floating, swirling, storm of limbs with p0werful deathbolts emanating from the center. Oh, and the four eyes resumed scanning around with deathbeams as...
"Hiya, Miss April! The grown-ups didn't want me near the big fight inside, so me and Regis came out here for some fun."
The Regis was currently dissembling and eating an Azraelim.
The Writer's Booth
Mark looked up from what he was doing which was keeping a Vaygr fleet off his ass whilst trying to grab the second warp core. While the interceptors were keeping the Vaygr fights off his Mothership, he didn't have nearly enough bombers to kill the Frigates and such quickly enough. Growling in frustration, he closed Homeworld 2 and looked over at Bruiser and Bison versus Lilith.
"Well... those are a couple of Darreen, a.k.a. Diablo's characters. Bruiser's a rather sadistic Machoke while Bison... is well... Bison. Not as awesome as the Raul Julia M. Bison but you get the point.
As for Diablo... Mark had a few words to say about the writer who had sicked Slender Man on a bunch of other writers.
"Darren's playing the 'I can't control my creations' role." Mark said as he looked over his shoulder and noted that Neil and Regis were outside.
"Wait... the Arrancar didn't want their kid in here with a standard run of the mill brawl but it's okay for him to hand out with a friggin' Angel Hunter?" Mark asked as Jac, Puce's and Kurumu's son named after the famed Fallout Jack, stood up, readying himself to join the fight.
April's armor unbolted itself from the ground as she turned to face Neil... the strange product of two Arrancar DNA and birthed via science.
"Your parents wanted you to be in this big fight out here instead? Didn't you know they have a zoo here, kid?" The Angel Hunter practically yelled at Neil as she grabbed him by the wrist as a Deathbeam blazed by. Looking at him, she unconsciously wondered if she could gain any additional powers by processing his body.
Wiping the thought from her head, she started dragging the kid to and fro, trying to keep him from getting Death beamed to... erm.... death by Azreal.
"And what the hell is that?" She asked, pointing at Regis while she opened up wildly with Automatic Gunfire at the floating black mass of Death.
Bison once again merely warped out of the way as Bruiser went crashing into the Bar.
"....Ow...." The Machoke groaned as several glass bottles fell on his head.
"...Tag in?" Bison nonchalantly asked as he held his hand out.
"...Sure, why not?" Bruiser groaned as he Tagged Bison in.
And thus, The Mighty Bison went into action, Phasing in and out as the Plasma Shots rained down on everything that moved.
Soon, he was standing right in front of the Matriarch, Resulting in a gun being put to his face.
"Go ahead....Shoot me...." He taunted as he grinned, his white eyes turning purple.
Lilith tried to pull the trigger, but no matter what, her muscles betrayed her.
Telepathy is one of the most basic Psychic Skills. What you've been trained to do I've mastered. Along with several other skills.
Bison then forced Lilith to press the Plasma Pistol to her head, namely the eye.
My Psycho Power has no equal. There are 2 ways this can end:
1. You Order Fenris to surrender himself to my Comrades at A.I.M.
2. I force you to keep firing until you are dead. And I know that you won't die straight away. No, It'll be prolonged, You'll empty every single clip you have into your own face. And all anyone can do is watch....
You have 30 seconds to decide.
And with that Bison walked back to the bar, leaving Lilith about to shoot herself to death.
"Now that wasn't so hard, was it?" The Dictator said as the Machoke hopped back over the counter and waited for Fenris to show up.
"Come on, Lizard Boy! Lizard Girl don't have time for late for your date with a operating Table!"
As Bison held Lilith as a ransom hostage, there was a laugh that came from the Writer's booth. One of the two that was seated there, an Asian that had a mask strapped to his head, was laughing as if he had just heard the funniest joke in the world.
"Seriously?!? You think that'll work?" Mark chuckled as he looked at Bison and Bruiser.
As if on cue, Bison found himself under attack from Lilith once again, 12 inch razor sharp claws seeking to rend flesh from bone.
Looking back to where Lilith was, he saw a headless corpse of what was once Lilith's body.
"Worms... Specifically flatworms, can regenerate themselves as long as over 50% of their body is intact." Mark said from the Writer's booth.
As Bison avoided Lilith's attacks, he noticed that her muscles started rippling and bulging and her attacks started getting faster and faster. Moments later he founf that she was attacking him with a poison stinger tipped tail.
"Come on ... Get a hug from Lilith." Lilith said as continued her flurry of attacks.
That was the sound of a shotgun shell being chambered and it came from behind Bruiser's head.
"I think you should stop now..." A voice said. As Bruiser turned to stare down the barrel of the shotgun he saw its wielder was some sort of conglomeration between Puce and Kurumu. Since when did they have a son?
"......Well........Fuck...." Bruiser groaned as Bison had to keep constantly Teleporting as Lilith attacked non-stop.
".....What I would give for something to break this awkward silence...." The Machoke said, almost as if he was expecting something to happen.
"....I said what would I Give for SOMETHING to BREAK this AWKWARD SILENCE...."
"...Uhgggg....Doom, just get your ass out here..."
And on cue, the Metal Monarch stumbled in from the bathroom, vomit leaking from his mask.
"reaweasdfewfds...WHAT?! Doom leaves for like 3 seconds and he has to save your asses AGAIN?!.......Ok!" He said, his tone shifting from anger to as he began to do Jazz hands.
"Wait, wh-EVERYONE HIT THE DECK!" Bison shouted as he ducked in behind a table.
"ITS THE GODDAMN FINGAR-LAZORS!" Doom shouted as he unleashed a massive torrent of proton lasers from his hands in all directions, burning though all they hit, passing clean though as they did.
Even the Writers Booth was filled with holes!
A stray beam hit one of the MANY high volume liquors on display, causing it to burst into flames along with nearly everything near it, including more liquor, creating a wild fire.
When the onslaught was over, The front of the Pub where the fight started was now swiss cheese and fire and smoke filled the air.
"LAST ONE OUT IS DEAD! MOVE! MOVE!" Bruiser shouted as he ran for the exit, Bison and Doom joining him.
"MARK MY WORDS, WE WILL RETURN AND WE WILL MAKE YOU RULE THE DAY YOU THOUGHT TH-"
"JUST SHUT UP AND RUN!"
And thus the villains made a rather inglorious escape from certian death at the hands of the Heroes.....Kinda....Sorta.....You know what I mean!
".....Shit, Where's Wesker?!"
"Hey that Martix wannabe can worry about himself, we need to get the fuck out of here!"
The man himself was still facedown on the floor of the now burning pub.
I hate hurricanes.
...Did I mention I HATE hurricanes!?
Charge at 64%...
"Beep-beep!" Using the now large ball of red energy in front of his gun as a mini-Angel repellent, Rex starts rushing through the swarm of Azrealims, making damn sure to dodge the Deathbeams. He zooms past April, Neil and Regis, not paying much attention to any of them.
He swings his gun toward the black mass's core and lets loose another truck-size shot.
At this moment, his board gives out and falls to the ground with a thud. To make matters worse, Erina reverts herself back into chain form, finally tired out from all the crap she had to put up with.
"Oh..." He turns toward the three other people there and gives them a sheepish smile and a shrug. "Well... I'm out of options here. So... we gonna run now? ...Oh, hi there little kid... and weird spider.... thing??" Rex runs up to the Regis and gives it an interested look, still minding the Deathbeams. He then gives a quizzical look toward April. "You sent a little kid and his pet robot to help you out? For shame..."
"Wait... the Arrancar didn't want their kid in here with a standard run of the mill brawl but it's okay for him to hand out with a friggin' Angel Hunter?"
"There's nothing run-of-the-mill about a supervillain fight, especially with those guys involved. Maybe later. But for now...
Roy was now poking Mark with a claw.
Roy: We figured he'd be more at home near the Angel.
"I don't think anyone said so..."
He seemed curiously unphased by the giant Angel and its smaller Angelites, despite being a kid. This only changed when he got himself pulled around by April in avoidance of the death beams and he panicked from the sudden movement in a "What the heck are you doing?" kind of thing. It was at that point that Rex fired another large blast at Azrael, though this one didn't get through. He saw it coming and converged all four eye beams on it to blow apart the attack directly. And just as April was asking her question about the Regis...
"Well... I'm out of options here. So... we gonna run now? ...Oh, hi there little kid... and weird spider.... thing?? You sent a little kid and his pet robot to help you out? For shame..."
"Hey, don't yell at her! She didn't do anything! And as for him..."
The Regis hadd just eaten and hybrid'd several of the Azraelim into himself and uhh...
...he got BIG. Also, Neil waved his hand to get their attention for a second.
"Ya know, these beams won't actually hurt me. They're like Hollow energy."
And as the Angel fired off a new volley of death-bombs, Neil pointed a finger at some of them and...he absorbed them?! Oh crap.
The Writer's Booth: Mark
During the Villain fight against Lilith and Jac, Mark had managed to take a shot to the shoulder from Doom's Finger Lasers. Looking down at the hole that suddenly appeared in his shoulder, Mark couldn't help but scream curses at the retreating villains.
"COME BACK HERE YOU SONS OF COCKS!!!" Mark yelled as he waved his good fist at Bison, Doom and Bruiser before sitting back down in the booth. As involved as they were in the Pub, they were sort of not really involved simultaneously.
"Well... the Pub's on Fire." Mark said as he looked at the conflagration that was blazing around him.
"WHAT IN THE GODS' NAMES?!?!" Came a vice from behind the Bar.
The Bar: Puce, Kurumu and Lilith.
"WHAT IN THE GODS' NAMES?!?!" Puce screamed as he exited the back rooms after hiding out for a while and coming into the bar being set ablaze by Doom's F'ing Finger Lazers!
Spotting his mother and father, Jac disappeared, since it wasn't quite time for him to show himself to the two, especially since he hadn't been conceived yet. (I'm sure they've met but I'm retconning that now!).
Lilith was in the middle of trying to put out the Main Door when she turned around and started to apologize profusely. However, her words were quickly cut off by a sharp look from Puce.
"It's not your fault." Puce said after a moment as he relaxed himself and concentrated on the energy of the fires around him. Reaching out, he latched onto each of the fires and absorbed the energy released from the rapid chemical reaction of combusting wood. After what seemed like an eternity, all the fires were extinguished.
Looking around, the Pub was in worse a shape that it had been when the group had escaped the destruction of the first Pub.
Sighing to himself... Puce started the long repair process.
"Look... Wesker's still here." Kurumu said poking at the still unconscious STARS team member... and then picking him up and dropping him off in the supply closet behind the Bar, locking the from the outside.
"This is going to be a long day." Puce said as he started working on refinishing the Bar.
"Don't worry Uncle Puce!" Lilith said before sending out a psychic whistle that echoed through out the caverns below. And suddenly the rumble of 10,000 Deathclaws on the move resounded through the Pub.
April looked over at Rex in extreme annoyance. If there was one thing that she considered off limits to her dealings and violence, it was children. Perhaps there was a maternal instinct buried underneath all her greed that she infrequently let out but all the same... it must have been there.
"Rex... don't make me make you the next on my menu." April threatened as she ran, the feet of her armor going CLOMP! CLOMP! CLOMP! along the way as she tossed Neil up on her shoulders.
"Hang on." She warned as she pulled out Lucifer's Rebellion Sword once again, this time keeping it in its sword from. Neil's absorption of the Death Bombs had created somewhat of a hole in their pattern that allowed April to do the following.
1) Jump up into the sky, since she still had use of the Null Grav coils
2) Land on the Angel's back
3) Poke her sword at its core.
"Hold on tight." She called up to Neil as she started trying to cut through the thick... skin?... that covered the core, running as she did.
About a hour later, Wesker awoke to the sound of construction, Deathclaws with Saws and Hammers fixing up the massive damage that Doom's finger lasers caused.
"...uhhhh....wha....what's going on?...Where am I?....Why is there nacho cheese in my hair!?" Wesker said as the hangover panic set in.
He found himself in some closet.
"Alright Albert, You've gotten out of Trash compactors before, this shouldn't be hard..." He said to himself as he checked the door and found it locked.
"....Alright, JAGUAR KICK!" He shouted as he kicked the door, breaking it off the hinges.
He stubbled out into the burnt Bar with 100's of Deathclaws staring at him.
".....Ok, this is a new one...." He said as he gulped at the sight of so many.
Captcha: Be Nice : "Plz don't kill me..." ;_;
As the Deathclaws continued rebuilding thr Pub, they all paused for a moment to look at Wesker, then the broken door and then back at Wesker as if saying that he'd better fix that door... OR ELSE. A couple of the Deathclaws even went so far as to place a pile of wood and tools in front of Wesker before leaving to complete thei tasks.
"Looks like you got conscripted into the repair projecy Wesky." The girl whp had been with Cortex said from her spot on the stage where she was supervising the repairs on the Piano.
"Uncle Wesker!!!!" A "voice" seemed to shout before Wesker was abruptly tackled and hugged, a few of his ribs cracking under the stress of a rather strong hug.
"Uhhhh what?" Puce asked in confusion ae he looked at Lilith tackle hugging a freaking villain.
"Don't tell me he goes good... Becausr I'll just shoot him right here and now if tgat's the case." Kurumu chimed in before Lilith explained things.
"Well there was this one time when I was younger when I got trapped on a remote Island with Uncle Wesker. At first we didn't get along but after a few days, we relied on each other to survive." Lilith explained, forgetting one of the cardinal rules of time travel: Never reveal the future.
Letting go of Wesker, she promptly dislocated his shoulder with a friendly slap on the back.
Rex makes an annoyed "Tch!" as April threatens him. As she runs off to stab the Angel repeatedly, he suddenly remembers he's an alchemist and there's a hoverboard right next to him. Scooping up his broken creation and using the Regis' large body as cover, he starts drawing a transmutation circle, and a few loud pops later, the board has become an assault rifle that shoots lasers.
"Pewpewpewpewpew!!!1" Like some three-year-old with a new toy, he micmics the sounds of the gun as he fires off shots at the remaining volleys of deathbombs flying at him and the Regis.
From the top of the Angel, April looked down at Rex with a look of annoyance marring her face.
"Are you FUCKING kidding me?!?!?" She asked before she remembered that she had Neil seated on her shoulders. Mentally cursing, she continued to try to cleave open the core of the Angel.
"You know... you could try helping out!!" She yelled at Rex again as she finally cared a small hole in the skin of the Angel. Grabbing a couple of grenades, she pulled the pins and dropped them into the hole.
"Hold on kid." April said as she jumped off of the Angel, the Null Grav coils firing up and slowing her fall.
After being man-handled by Lilith, Wesker groaned in pain as he tried to remember what the hell this crazy bitch was on about.
"Ok, so it went like this:"
Sometime in the past
Wesker stirred in the sand, surrounded by empty bottles and cans on a otherwise beautiful beach.
His head rang with hammers, he lost his shirt and he had "God Tier" Tattooed on his back, standard session otherwise.
"....Uhhhh....Headache, Middle of nowhere, smelling like booze....Yep....I had a good night..." He said as he got on his feet and looked around.
"Eh, Least I didn't wake up in a Trash compactor....again..." He sighed as he looked for his phone, failing to find it.
"Mmmm...Desert Island...No Phone...No one else around.....Guess I'm eating bugs for Dinner....Again..." He sighed as he left the beach and went looking around the island.
Sometime in the past
It didn't take long but as Wesker wandered around the island, which wasn't that large at all, he started seeing signs that he wasn't alone on the island. In the distance he spotted what looked like the remnants of a camp.
Bobbing in the water, he spotted what he could only describe as a Volley Ball with a face drawn on it in what looked like blood.
But all of these items looked like they had been abandoned for some time. However, there was something in the distance that obviously wasn't the remnants of any past inhabitants or natives. In the distance, he spotted smoke.
Wesker rooted around the camp, hoping to find some manner of calling the others to pick him up.
It was then that he noticed the Volley Ball.
"...Did I pass out on a movie set?...Nice, Coke on tits all around!" He joked, recalling his time with Paul Anderson, The movie sucked, but the Spoils were sizable enough nonetheless.
Then he spotted the Smoke in the distance.
".....I'm assuming that's a fire rather than the Smoke Monster...
And thus he went for the smoke, taking his time as he admired the scenery.
"This is the last time I'm let Doom pick the pub."
*Chuckles* Glad you got the references...
Sure enough there wasn't a Smoke Monster at the location where the smoke was originating from but sure enough there was some sort of "monster." From behind, she looked like a woman with dragon fly wings with long blonde hair flowing down to her ... tail(?). She was crouched over the fire cooking what appeared to be freshly caught and gutted fish while near the fire, a small hut had been hastily erected. The woman (?) wore what appeared to be the type of suit that a Military Scout wore, though Wesker had no idea where the patches came from.
Most importantly, there appeared to be a recently uncovered stock of bottles. The smell of a recently uncorked bottle let Wesker know that the bottles were filled with Rum.
As he approached, he stepped on a branch.
The woman (?) stiffened as she heard the noise and turned around, unnaturally long claws sprouting from her fingers as she looked over at Wesker, but didn't see him from behind the trees and brush
"Who goes there?" Lilith called out... her Enclave training kicking in.
Why is the Rum gone?
Wesker was rather surprised by the Strange Creature, He'd worked on BOW's before but a sentient one?
....Liza?.....You're still living?... He thought as he pondered whether or not to show himself, BOW's aren't know for their social skills.
Perhaps...I should go back to that Camp with Wilson....Might be a better Idea... He decided as he attempted to shy away from Lilith, Making more noise getting away then he did showing up.
He was starting to regret not bringing his Samurai Edge...
What other Island Movie References can I do?
*CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK*
Lilith heard it load and clear, the sound of someone trying to move away quietly but didn't quite have the motor skills or coordination to pull it off. It was the sound of a drunken wildebeest getting humped by an even drunker giraffe while walking through a thicket of brambles. Activating a Stealth Boy, she took off for the tree top, her wings lifting her off the ground and allowing her to travel above the tree line until she spotted the intruder.
Unfortunately... there was something a little off about her. She and Wesker were suffering from the effects of massive hangovers. And suddenly all that preparation... the Stealth Boy... the Enclave training. That went right out the window.
Lilith's wings decided to stop working and down she went...
"OH SHIIIIIIIIIIIT" She screamed as she came crashing through the trees, breaking branches and landing on the stranger.
"Ow." She muttered as she not only landed on Wesker but knocked over what looked like a Pig's head on a Stick.
"oh shit...oh Shit! OH SHIT! OHSHITOHSH-" Wesker said as something invisible fell from above and landed on him.
He groaned as the Deathclaw hybrid fell on top of him.
The second he realised it the thing he was trying to get away from, He ran for the Pig's head stick and took the head off it, revealing a spear.
"Alright.....Listen, I'm Tried, I'm Hungover and Miles from home, So if you want some of this, It'll be your head going on his pike, YOU HEAR ME!?!?" He threatened as he backed up, He was woefully under equipped to deal with this.
There was a groan that seemed to come from the bushes near by, though they didn't necessarily come from the bushes themselves anyways; it was more like they came from in front of the bushes, from something that seemed to make the air shimmer as it moved. From hanging out with Paul W.S. Anderson, Wesker would have recognized it as the same effects that Predators used when going invisible.
As Lilith dropped the Stealth Boy's stealth field, Wesker was relieved that it wasn't a Space Alien there to take his skull from his body. Instead it looked like some sort of Human, Reptilian, Insect hybrid.
"Ugh... You're hungover? I'm HUNGOVER and I don't even know where HERE is. This is the last time I decide to hit a pub with that pack of retards I call cadet mates." Lilith said as she winced in pain, a no longer clawed hand held her head as if her brains were about to leak out her pointed ears.
"I'd put the weapon down before I start doing a reenactment of why they called Vlad the Impaler... Vlad the Impaler... and it wasn't because he used his chopsticks to stab his food at the diner table." She said, groaning.
"Now... who the hell are you and what are you doing on MY Island?"