".... I've shot you in the face 3 times. Make that 4." He blew Sabers brains out again, and he respawned.
"Why do you keep trying to work with me? Besides, without your magic all you're good for is human shielding... You know what, that might be enough. Make a few blind charges at him, and he'll deplete his energy. Simply LOOK hostile, don't do anything that would give him more. I'll sit back here taking potshots, like a man." He gave a hearty push to Saber, firing a round into the personal space bubble of Nega Puce.
Location: The Training Room
Subjects: Mordecai, Nega-Puce, Saber
Nega-Puce was busy watching as a couple of Iszs toyed with a Kaleidoscope of Simulated Monarch Butterflies and yes, a group of Butterflies is actually called a Kaleidoscope. He was bored of killing this Saber character over and over again. He had just come into the Pub for a quiet drink and possibly crash the Rich Villains Party when this Saber person decided to challenge him.
It was a fascinating display as a monarch landed on the outstretched finger of an Isz. It was even more fascinating that the Isz allowed it to live.
A bullet whizzed past Nega and obliterated the butterfly.
*GRUMBLE GRUMBLE GRUMBLE*
He'd had just about enough of this jerky jerk. Looking over at the miscreant who fired the shot, Saber, he did the smart thing... he didn't kill the guy.
Instead he used the remainder of the energy that he had siphoned from the various exploded corpses and channeled it into the Earth that was underneath Saber's feet.
At first: Nothing but silence, rather there was a strange series of lights that appeared in the skies overhead. And then it happened. A pillar of earth lifted Saber off the ground whilst a few hundred yards worth of rebar surrounded the man and bound him to the pillar.
The process took no more than 4 second but in the end, Saber found himself several hundred feet in the air, bound by his torso, hands, feet, ankles and gagged by the rebar binding.
Looking at his handiwork, Nega looked at Mordecai and shrugged. He was now back at nominal energy levels and his previous creations fell to the ground as their master released them from the magics that gave them life.
"Now that we've settled that... I believe we can fight now."
Mordecai blinked hard for a second, before stating,
"That solves a lot of problems actually." He decided to skip the stance part this time, instead opting to point his scythe aggressively at NP.
What seemed like hours, but was actually only a minute or two, Nega Puce just stood there, staring at Mordecai. It wasn't that Nega was being rude or anything, he was actually concentrating and while it looked like he was just standing there, he was in fact siphoning as much life energy as he could from Mordecai.
You see... if Mordecai is Immortal, that means he had somehow learned to tap into a source of power that allowed him to never die. This power was unlimited... never ending... and would never stop filling Mordecai as long as he was Immortal. And so... while Mordecai felt like nothing was happening, the source of his Immortality was replenishing his life force as quickly as Nega was absorbing it.
And so... first move.
"HARROOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" A howl echoed in the distance... a howl that would be quite familiar to an Incarnation of Death.
Hell Hounds... or rather lava infused facsimiles of Hell Hounds rather than the real thing. They ran in a pack of four and passed their master, determined to rip his opponent to pieces.
While the front two charged in directly, the rear two launched themselves into the air to attack from above.
"...?" Mordecai looked at the dogs, slightly confused. They didn't usually work together, for a very good reason. He brought his scythe down on the one nearest him, and the other three darted to it. They began tearing it apart, all eager for what passed for meat on the carcass. Mordecai stepped over the messy affair, and regarded NP
"If you want to, you can try for a different Hell being. I know their weaknesses by heart. Although, I believe it is my turn." Mordecai went for a simple attack, he poked NPs forehead with the stick end of his scythe. No real force, though there was a symbol left on him. It tingled slightly, but otherwise did nothing, and summoned no creatures. Mordecai took out his pistol, pointing it towards Sabers pillar. The bullet flew out, but turned around suddenly, coming right for Nega Puces forehead, directly on target for the mark.
Nega sighed for a moment... he figured it out as soon as Mordecai turned his back on him and pulled out the pistol. There was no movement once again save for Nega-Puce standing there and the bullet? Well... it stopped and was suspended in the air for a while.
When the powder within the pistol was ignited, the gasses contained within the bullet casing expanded and sough a weak spot from which to escape. The weak spot was the slug which rested in the mouth of the cartridge. The expanding gasses propelled the bullet with significant force, transferring the released energy of the powder ignition into the slug's kinetic energy.
This is what Nega sensed... upon the detonation of the smokeless powder within the shell casing... the kinetic energy of the slug... combined with something else... whether magical energy or some sort of electronics powdered by a small energy source, he didn't bother to check.
What he did do was consume the slug's kinetic energy... all of it until there was nothing but the potential energy remaining the bullet. Potential energy caused by the bullet's elevation above the ground.
Nega finally moved and plucked the bullet from the air and held it in his hand for a moment and wiped the mark off of his forehead. He tested the weight of the metal in the slug and admired the glint of the alloy in the artificial sun. He even tossed it in the air a few times... and on the third time... he released the absorbed energy back into the slug, sending it back towards Mordecai with even more energy than he had absorbed from it... perhaps twice as much... causing the bullet to travel twice as quickly back to Mordecai as it did traveling to Nega.
Mordecai Raised his scythe to catch the bullet, and stroked his chin.
"How did you wipe off a magical mark? That's supposed to stay on you till you die... So magic is ineffective, and so is physical attacks. This isn't as stress relieving as I thought, but it is surprisingly fun." He turned around, the hounds were done with their friend, and were lazing around.
His plan to use Saber to drain him was impossible, and the hellhounds wouldn't work either. Obviously he needed a new plan, and his thoughts were going hyper speed to come up with a way to keep his opponent occupied while Mordecai struck a blow.
He decided to use the universal weakpoint of all men. Mordecai raised his knee, and it connected with the mans crotch. He then bonked him on the head with his scythe.
He should have seen it coming... he really should have. I mean we're talking about a guy who can track the individual nerve impulses as they travel from a being's brain to their limbs. We're talking about a guy who can create life out of nothing but the 5 basic elements. We're talking about a guy who successfully absorbed the souls of his home dimension's Earth including his own Writer.
But... he was too caught up in playing fairly to think that someone like Mordecai would kick him in the crown jewels. And so... Nega took it like any man would take it.
"YAAAAAAAARGGG!!!!" He screamed as he doubled over in pain, the sensation of nausea flooding up in his abdomen.
"OoooOoooo... look at the little birdies." He mannered to croak as he passed out into the realm of unconsciousness.
Seeing that their master had been defeated... the Iszs sprang out from Nega's messenger bag (A Hammerspace bag in the shape of a Messenger Bag)... and started disemboweling their master and making balloon animals out of his guts.
Nega was back... respawned... and smiling?
"Good to see you aren't mad at me. Or you are going to stop playing fairly..." Mordecai gulped loudly. Fighting him seemed like it might be fun, back in the bar. He kept his eye on the Iszs, unsure if they would still follow Nega Puce, or if they were still in a disemboweling type of mood. Both were bad, very bad.
"Maybe I'll go back to the bar then..."
Nega shrugged... it had been quite some time since anyone had defeated him. On top of that... his crotch still ached despite the fact that he had respawned in a new body. Some sort of phantom pain...
"Alls well that ends well... I guess. Come on boys!" Nega called out to the Iszs who chirped and ran to follow their master. They had quite enjoyed playing the master's intestines.... maybe if this Mordecai person stayed around long enough... they would get to play with the Master's intestines again.
Nega opened the door for the victor and soon followed behind, making sure to turn off the lights as he left... if there was one thing that he despised above all other things it was wasted energy.
As the door closed, Saber realized he was left alone in the dark... well... not alone... there was a rather angry Kaleidoscope of Monarch Butterflies that were pissed that Saber had killed one of their number.
"You know, I think I forgot to give Saber his mana back. Maybe later, if I feel like it." Mordecai said in passing, walking past NP, giving him a small "Thanks" as he passed. He decided to float again, because he felt like it, taking the seat he had chosen for himself earlier.
"Same as earlier if you please. And something for Nega Puce, if he wants it."
Location: The Bar
Subject: Kurumu, Elsie, Neil, Nega-Puce, Mordecai and Lucifer
The Succubus who had served Mordecai his drink earlier looked at him apologetically as she waited for Elsie and Neil to respond to her.
"I'm sorry... I might have to leave... personal reason but... this guy can take real good care of you." Kurumu stated as she wandered over to the side of the Bar where Elsie and Neil sat.
"This guy" as it happened to turn out was a blonde Caucasian, roughly 6 Feet and 6.6 Inches tall, with an eternal 5 o clock shadow. He wore a rather expensive looking custom tailored Italian silk suit, a rather uncommon uniform for your typical bartender... but then again... Lucifer never was what you would call your typical guy.
"Seriously? You're just gonna leave me here. You DO know that I'm supposed to be torturing these people and bending them to my will and... you know the rest.. yadda yadda sin... yadda yadda Eternal Damnation." Lucifer called after Kurumu before he finally accepted his fate.
Of course... he blanched at the sight of Mordecai. It was infrequent that Lucifer met any of the Incarnations of Death other than the one that he was currently contracted with, Jack the Reaper. Seeing Mordecai, he was reminded that choosing the contract of one Incarnation of Death was a lot like snubbing the others... at least... that's the way it worked in his dimension's version of hell. He wasn't sure how Mordecai would feel knowing that Lucifer was using the services of a different Death.
"Uhhh.. I think Kurumu said something about Whiskey and Cyanide?" Lucifer said as quickly turned his back to Mordecai so as to not get recognized... that is... if Mordecai recognized him for who he truly was.
"I'll have a Sex on the Beach, Luci." Nega said with a smirk. He knew how much Lucifer disliked being called Luci.
"Why you! Do you know who I am! I am the bloody fucking DEVIL! I'm gonna be your boss one day when you get your just deserts so I wouldn't mock me right now!" Lucifer turned around to yell at Nega. Jeez... this was one rather incompetent Satan lemme tell ya.
"Why you! Do you know who I am! I am the bloody fucking DEVIL! I'm gonna be your boss one day when you get your just deserts so I wouldn't mock me right now!"
Mordecai recognized him immediately, and looked at the fallen angel confused, and decided to just come out with his question.
"Lucifer.... Why are you working in a bar? And why are you taking orders from a succubus? You know what, I won't say anything as long as you don't pass any of this along to Abaddon. That guy scares me..." Mordecai shook his head.
"Yes, whiskey and cyanide thank you."
new and inproved sheet
Name:David Saber Captain-commander of the 13th legion.
Dimension of Origin:skyrim/swords of the fallen 1206
Class: Reaver: warrior mage
Appearance:5'o clock shadow bread, few scars and looks like he's been through quite a few wars.
Hair: short, messy, black hair
Height: 7,0 feet
Body Type:well built
Equipment: a small crossbow hidden behind his back, a few knives on his left side, a giant Bowie knife attached to his boot, a Katana hanging form his side and a huge greatsword on his back
Skills:to survive and live off the land, strategics a master of tactics and strategics.
Powers: controls fire is like another david, because of traveling between The Mall and The Pub Saber gained two side effects [so far] the first is he can respawn a few seconds after he dies and the second is he can consume a large amount of beer and the like without throwing or getting drunk.
Biography:you soon will know all
Weaknesses:a very quick temper he can easily be pissed off and he's really laid back.
Lucifer sighed as he was recognized by Mordecai and the answer question regarding his new job wasn't that much better than Luci's ability to stay incognito for long. Sliding the drinks in front of Mordecai and .. ugh.. Nega-Puce, The Satan, warmed up to the story with a quick nip from an open bottle of Jagermeister.
"It's a long story... suffice to say... I was replaced. I hired this kid... Danielle, fresh off the boat... to replace Adramelech as my right hand man... what can I say... I'm a sucker for Red heads. Anyways... I teach her a few things... offer her a little bit of the ole Lucifer charm... and she leads a rebellion right up into my office. The whole Demon Congress behind her. They tell me that I haven't done enough to ensure that we're gonna win when the End Times comes. Of course we know that the End Times are never gonna come. It was all made up by those idiots in the Vatican to keep their sheep in line... and the kick in the ass is that a buncha demons actually believed Human propaganda. Can you believe that? So here I am... middle of nowhere... literally... taking orders from a Succubus and waiting tables. The Boss won't even let me through the Pearlies for an audience with her... instead I gotta leave messages with that Walmart Door Greeter, Saint Peter... that asshole. He had Alzheimer's before it was even a thing. Why else would he need a fuckin' list so long?" The former Eternal Adversary complained.
"But that bitch Dani... she'll fuckin' rue the day, Mordy... she'll regret the day she double crossed me." The Prince of Lies said before he noticed something peculiar.
There was a new comer in the bar that was very much like someone who was stuck in the Training Room. Standing 7 feet tall, and wearing enough metal to smelt into a battleship, Lucifer couldn't help but notice the fact that the guy's armor indicated that he was supposed to be stealthy. The weirdest part of the whole ensemble? He couldn't tell if this guy was laid back or apt to shoot someone for looking at him the wrong way.
"Uhhh... that's .. uhhh... interesting." Lucifer said as he noticed a small hidden crossbow strapped to the hilt of a HUGE Great Sword... probably with duct tape.
"Glad I was an atheist. Probably the only thing that gave me this career." Mordecai turned around to look at the newcomer, that was actually an oldcomer. He sighed and applied his palm to his face.
"Oh fucking christ there's another one. And I don't think I'm allowed to shoot this one." Mordecais scythe turned into a baton, and shoved it into his coat pocket to help resist temptation.
"How'd you get out of the pillar?" He asked, taking a sip of his drink.
"As Much as I'd normally agree, I'd much rather have Walls between us and Them, Come on." Wesker said as he began to make his way towards the Building in the distance.
There was something familiar about that Tower but he couldn't put his finger on it, Still, there was no way in hell it could have more zombies then out here, right?
And the duo learned that as they waded though the entirety of the Zombie population of the Island that was pouring from the buildings entrance.
Picking up an axe from one of them, Wesker was in a better position to combat them then Lilith, Kuru doesn't affect those with O-type blood.
They could still attack him, but he wouldn't get infected.
After much slicing and dicing, He managed to get both him and Lilith into the front lobby of the building, a massive open area with no-one to be seen, despite the raging masses outside, it was quiet....too quiet.
"....It's almost as they're inviting us in..."
The Building's Jumbo-Tron, formally just showing a logo of the company, came to life with the owner face.
"goOd, yOu havE Made iT FrieNds. I am GOLDMAN. I don'T Care if you pEople gEt my way Or not. In time, You'Ll see wHo's right. *Forced Laugh* This iS a PreSent fRom mE to yoU."
The Side doors opened and the Buildings Security entered.
"....I'm never drinking again...."
Saber kicks the training room and fast walks to the bar and sits on one of stools near the barkeep Lucifer "whiskey please, having died alot today i'm quite upset and sad" he said as he pulled off his mask and put his hood down
"Don't worry. I know how to solve everything. Just watch the master."
As the villain meeting adjourned and the respective bad guys went back to their own dimension, Jake cracked his knuckles and started writing...
John Constantine walked casually into the bar, the lines of Lucifer's massive energy matrix also entering behind him. They had been connected to ALL of the universes out there. That area was like a giant super-colossal generator for Eva-Lucifer to harness the power of. All of the lines went immediately for the bar. They went...for the OTHER Lucifer...to install a Robin Hood: Men In Tights-style chastity belt (It's an Everlast!) that also - apparently - seemed inexorably linked to this bar, meaning that it and the wear COULD NOT LEAVE. If Lucifer were to inspect the damn thing, it would have the engraving of "SO LONG, SUCKA!" on it as well. It also had the effect of making Saber explode a thousand times a second even when respawning.
Meanwhile, Roy facepalmed.
Roy: We don't really have to. Eventually, such person will appear here because the maniac with the pen wants her to. I'll just go ask Jake about it and see what's up.
He started walking over, but John was ahead of him. And when John got to the Writer, he PUNCHED HIM OUT with the Infinity Gauntlet!
John: Right, that's step one. Now, for step two...
Roy: Wait, you just knocked him out? Then, who's running things now?
Once the Writer was knocked out, Lucifer shook his head, feeling a bit weakened from the task he'd just performed. Well, it was worth it. Not like anything HERE could take him on, even when tired. He was the ginormous ancient evil, the fallen angel, the- Wait, what was that sound? He turned around to find that Megas had just ground into an EXTRA LARGE ROBOT and was now his size!
Coop: Hiya, pal.
HOW WAS THIS ACCOMPLISHED?!
Lucifer received a kick to the face!
Coop: Alright, you giant evil demon whatsit... You're eating the universe, you're blowing everything up, AND you're making me LATE for RENN-FEST!! It's time to pay it all back!
What followed was a painful-to-look-at series of violence, the kind that you go "Oooh! Agh! Ow, that smarts! HEY, it's not suppose to bend that way! OUCH!" to. Lucifer was pummelled to the face, knee-to-groin'd, haymakered, elbow-dropped, spin-kicked, and quite verily-whomped-upon by the gigantic car-headed robot! However...one demon arm reached out and grabbed the car-head. Lucifer, with three black eyes and a missing tooth, wasn't done. He started to siphon energy from Megas while Megas tried to force him off.
Kiva: Forget it, he'll crush us before we get him to let fo.
Jamie: Coop, pull out the core! Do like Bugra!
Coop's favorite film was about a giant monster called Bugra that pulls out his enemy's insides and does a little dance. Megas reached out and tried to grab the core, but Lucifer's other arms stopped him and energy continued to get sucked away!
Coop: I can't reach it! Ah, come on...! There has to be something in here that can-
Coop: Uh oh.
Kiva: You just activated the Infinite Improbability Drive without setting it first.
Coop: Uhh...that's bad, right?
Well...yes, it is. Fortunately, as this happened, both the ginormous mech and the ginormous demon-angel-whatever vanished in a highly-improbable manner. The threat to all creation...was over. April then received a message over radio.
"'Ello, April? This is John. Would you step inta' me office, please? I've got good news."
With Jake asleep in the corner, John relaxed where he'd been sitting, holding some magic stout in the hand with the gauntlet.
John: I could get to like this.
Location: The Writer's Table
Subjects: Mark and Jake
Author's Note: Back back from Cali Cali. I'm back back back back from Cali Cali *Gets hit in the face*
Mark woke up from where he had been sitting motionless for the past 3 days and blinked for a moment. He was sore... and immensely tired. On top of that, there was a film over his eyes since he hadn't blinked either. He did note that Jake was asleep or unconscious and there was a massive bruise the size of an Infinity Gauntlet on the side of his face.
"Ugh... what happened to him?" Mark wondered as he checked the Pub's logs.
"Oh... Well that explains that." He said to himself as he started writing a series of posts that was sure to make people angry or confused or both on another certain Role Playing Thread.
"Now... what does John want with April?"
Location: The Bar
Subjects: Kurumu, Lucifer, Nega Puce, Saber, Mordecai, Roy, Elsie, Neil and Hadrian
"Oh. Well I guess when that writer wakes up... we'll just get him to summon the woman from the TV. It's not like it hasn't happened before."
Speaking of before... Kurumu decided that Hadrian had gotten enough time to change.
Walking to the Werewolf's door, she knocked on it...
Lucifer was no longer in a good mood given the fact that he was now in a chastity belt. It wasn't the fact that he couldn't leave but his favorite past time was now damn near impossible. You see Lucifer was a womanizer, something that he took a lot of pride in. With a chastity belt... well... he might as well have kissed that little hobby goodbye.
"That motherf**ker!" Lucifer cursed... or rather tried to curse. Apparently... there was another side effect to the chastity belt.
"F**king c**k! B***h! A*S C**T!" Lucifer tried again in vain... before giving up altogether.
"Crap..." He said as he grabbed a drink for Mordecai.
Nega looked at Lucifer and Saber and just chuckled to himself as he drank his Sex on the Beach. Opening his messenger back, he allowed his miniature army of Iszs out to drink and eat as well... and eat they did. You see Iszs don't really have a limit on what they can or the amount the can eat. Their digestive systems are do efficient at breaking stuff down that it made it possible for them to eat anything. On the other hand due to the fact that they had to expend so much energy digesting things in this manner, they were always hungry.
"SO Mordecai. You know Luci?"
Location: An Island in the Past
Subject: Lilith and Wesker
Building security or Svedka Vodka models?
Whatever the case, Lilith looked at the bots with a smirk as she started attacking them, smashing them and breaking them. This is the type of combat she was used to.. a frakkas that made as much of a mess as possible in as little time as possible.
"Come on Uncle Wesker! This is fun!" Lilith shouted as she trounced a few of the Robots and tossed them against the wall... against each other and even the ceiling. She used everything she had at her disposal, claws, limbs, teeth and she even altered her DNA to allow her to blast these bots with their own energy.
"Hey asshole... yeah you Goldman! You're gonna wish you never did this!"
Location: The Outside
Subject: Puce, April and John
April didn't respond to John's request... in fact she wasn't responding to much of anything. As John waited for her in his "office" the door opened and Puce appeared, carrying an unconscious April in his arms.
Apparently... in the midst of battle, she had forgotten to take her dose of Sangre D'Angelo and gone into a sudden withdrawals. He body convulsed and sent her mech towards a nearby dimensional barrier. It was only through Puce's timely intervention with his own Gauntlet that she was saved.
"Sorry John... I don't think she's got much time left." Puce said to John.
"Wha... what?" April seemed to murmur as she tried to snap out of her daze.
ARGH ARGH DAMN YOU SLOW INTERNET STOP FREEZING ON ME
Hadrian just finished tying up his long hair in a pony-tail with a small black ribbon when Kurumu had opened the door. With a grin, he twisted around and flourished, before straightening up and looking at the succubus with a grin.
He raised his arms, showing off his new appearance. He was now wearing a blood red waistcoat, over a plain white dress shirt. On his legs, he wore a pair of simple black trousers and dress shoes. The entire outfit was tight enough to show off his muscular physique, but loose enough so that it wouldn't restrict his movements.
"So, how do I look?" He asked expectantly.
Location: Hadrian's Room
Subject: Hadrian and Kurumu
Kurumu looked Hadrian up and down before finally nodding and giving him a big thumbs up.
"You look great!" She said emphatically as she lead him out to the bar, which was a bustle with various PCs and NPCs alike.
"I think you've met Lucifer... haven't you?" Kurumu asked as she introduced Hadrian to the now trapped Prince of Lies.
"And this is Mordecai... an incarnation of Death... and this is Saber... sorry you keep getting blown up love... and this is... *ugh* ... Nega Puce. A real Jerky Jerk of a guy." Kurumu said as she continued the introductions.
"Oi! If it wasn't for me... that Caramel Frappe bastard woulda been callin' the shots around here. Nega stated as he hoisted another drink into his gullet and then looked over to Saber... before impaling the man on a metal spike.
Hadrian frowned at Nega Puce making his dislike of him apparent. He restrained himself from driving his fist into his gut. He instead, bowed his head slightly to them in greeting.
"It's..." He licked at his lips, trying to come up with a proper word to use. "...a pleasure to meet you all, I suppose."
Location: The Writer's Booth
Subjects: Mark and Jake
Mark had been checking in on the latest post from Daft when he noticed the reference and laughed.
"Yeah! Nega Scott/Nega Puce... whatever right?!?" Mark called out into the empty air... surprising some of the newer patrons but not the old ones who were used to such bizarre behavior.
Locationg: The Bar
Subjects: Kurumu, Nega and Hadrian
Nega shrugged as he continued drinking his drink... the alcohol within his "Sex on the Beach" warming the Nega Asian's face as it gave him the Asian glow.
"Freaking light weights." Kurumu said to herself as she turned back to Hadrian.
"I think you've met Lilith also." Kurumu continued the introductions as she looked over at Lilith, who was standing next to a blond man who looked rather ... experienced in tackling the dead.
Speaking of tackles...
"UNCLE HADRIAN!!!!" Tackle! THUD! CRACK!
Yeah... Lilith was happy to see her Uncle Hadrian out and about once again.
"Hey you look great! What's the occasion? Are you and Auntie Kokoa going out on a date?" Lilith asked, unaware that Auntie Kokoa had still not shown up after the loss of the Old Pub.
"Yeah Auntie Kurumu?"
"Either you need to stop doing that... or your Uncle Hadrian just learned how to spontaneous sprout leg bones out of his skin." Sure enough... Lilith's tackle had snapped Hadrian's leg bone like a twig and caused it to erupt from the side of his leg.
"I see that you all have learned the art of entertainment since the last time I was here. I wasn't as entertained the last time I was here... HAHAHAHHA" Nega commented with amusement dripping from his voice.
Damn me and my wandering brain. Not my intention to type out Nega Scott, but eh. Guess that's what I get for missing out lately.
Hadrian cringed, holding back the swear that was about to rip from his mouth, and gave Lilith an affectionate pat on the head.
"T-these would be my work clothes, Lilith, and as for Auntie Kokoa, I have no idea where she is," He said, his voice sounding slightly strained, and his smile looking a little forced. "Now, if you'll excuse me," He pushed himself back up, with Lilith in tow, making sure to not put any pressure on his broken leg.
He removed Lilith from his person, lacing her on her feet, before hobbling over onto a stool facing away from everyone, and working on fixing up his leg.
After a couple of loud, sickening cracks, squishes, and curses, he turned around and stood up straight, looking fine. The trousers had repaired themselves too, removing any evidence of the blood that soaked his pant leg and the holes made by the bones that jutted out of his skin. He brushed at his pants, looking surprised.
"Man, I wish I had a pair of these back in my world."
Nega chuckled as he looked at Hadrian for a moment.
"So where is this world of yours... I'd love to visit... Mine is quite the lonely one... since I absorbed the souls of everyone on the planet." Nega said with a bemused tone.
"Stop harassing my staff would you N.P. You're worse than that guy over there who keeps leaving his corpses all over the place. The cleaners can't keep up with the rate he's dying."
"Well excuuuuuuuuse me." *SPLORCH!!!!* Saber once again was killed... disemboweled by the glass of Whiskey that he was trying to drink. As his guts spilled all over the floor, an Isz ran over to it and started pulling Saber's intestines out by the yards.
"HAHAHAHHAHA!" The obviously drunken bizarro world version of Puce laughed at the patron's death.
"The clothes are pretty handy when they repair themselves. I can't tell you how nice it is when one of my shirt buttons fly off and the shirt repairs itself." Nice for her but the male patrons begged to differ. Secretly they looked for ways to disable the healing properties of the Staff's clothing.
"Sorry Uncle Hadrian... I enjoy seeing you all so much... I mean... between having to run patrols back home... and having to lay eggs for the Colony... I rarely get to see much of anyone." The Deathclaw Matriarch said apologetically as she scratched her head.
Hadrian sighed at Lilith, and gave her a small grin.
Oh work. How he despised it so. Always keeping you busy, away from your friends, away from your family. In other words, all work and no play makes Lilith a dull flying chameleon, person-thing. He understood her plight.
"It's no trouble, little one," He ruffled her hair. "I understand your enthusiasm, but do try to refrain from tackling us. Not everyone is capable of regenerating from their wounds, y'know."
He turned to Kurumu, crossing his arms. "So, where is Puce, anyway?" He jerked a thumb at Nega Puce, who was still laughing at Saber's agony. "Would he mind if I tried tossing out the homicidal nutcase over there?"
Kurumu pointed to the doors that lead to the Hanger and eventually the outside. However, she also pointed to the replays of what had just occurred outside. Eva-Lucifer vs. Megas XLR.
"He had to go outside and look help out with that ... thing... that was out there crispifying whole fleets of ships and such. Those guys at the Writer's Booth... at least that's what they're calling it... have been busy for a while. And every time they start chattering between themselves, sometime major happens." Kurumu said as she pointed to Mark and Jake.
"Hey hey hey! Let's not go placing blame on anyone here, Kurumu! I'm just here for the... erm... the atmosphere?" Mark stated as he overheard the conversation between Kurumu and Hadrian.
"And to answer your question... Puce is outside helping that Angel Hunter Drug Dealer April and that John Constantine guy."
With that question answered... the other one was left unanswered... that was until Nega answered for Kurumu.
"You know... you could try... but you'd have about as much success as your pal Saber over here." Nega said as he watched the Iszs start double dutch jump roping with Saber's entrails.
Yeah... he wasn't a very pleasant guy...
Hadrian smirked at Puce's doppelganger.
"Hoh? Is that so?" He laughed, looking rather excited. "Well, I don't mind a challenge..." He cracked his knuckles, looking ready to leap at him and rip out his throat... Before slouching, and trudging up behind the bar.
He leaned against it, and just tapped at the wood absentmindedly. "However, I'm not really in a fighting mood at the moment," He said, looking somewhat bored. "Maybe later."
Nega shrugged for a moment as he ordered another drink from Lucifer... this time a Long Island Iced Tea, hold the brimstone.
Kurumu on the otherhand turned towards Hadrian, with a bit of a concerned look on her face. This is far and away a quite different Hadrian than she was was used to seeing.
"Everything okay?" Kurumu asked after she pulled him aside, after she had made fixed him a drink of Jagermeister with a bit of the ole Dragon's Blood dropped in.
"You look a bit... down."
Downing the Jagermiester, Hadrian looked at Kurumu, maintaining his same bored expression.
"Nah, it's nothing. I really am just bored at the moment," He paused, and gathered his thoughts
"That, and I still have no idea of what happened to those Diclonii kids, nor do I know about what happened to Kokoa." He ran his fingers around the lip of the glass, not saying a thing for a few minutes. Eventually, he stopped and pinched the rim. "D'you think she got killed in the explosion?"
Well the Diclonii kids were an easy enough question to answer.
"Well you remember the thing with the kids and Lucy and such.... once they were acclimated a bit, we were going to ship them off to Yokai academy so that they could learn how to blend in with humans and such. So we did, even though we had a demon waiting for us... Lucifer over there took care of that for us." Kurumu explained as she pointed at the Great Adversary, who was busy cleaning a glass.
"Ahhh... Lamia... she was quite flexible in all the right ways." He stated as looked into the distant past as if he was remembering something.
"I'm still right here you idiot!" Lamia yelled from a table as she threw a pint glass at The Morning Star... who simply caught the thing before it caused any real damage.
"I know you're right there... how could I ever forget." He said with a smile.
"As for the whole Kokoa thing... well... that's a different story. I'm not actually sure where she is." Kurumu admitted.
Now... before we start wondering what in the hell happened to Kokoa... there was a laugh at the Writer's Booth.
"HAHA! You guys really don't know? She was flung into another dimension... where she was promptly captured by remnants of the Nazi party, experimented on, there she met someone and assumed her identity... with doubly ape-shit crazy... escaped and joined a team that Puce and Kurumu were on... this is after she tried to murder everyone. Then she because part of a One True Threesome, got sent to the (Un)Real World and is currently here."
PubTVTM flared to life and showed a black sand beach... Hawaii... and the first thing it showed was Mark flying through the air and landing in the sand, though... the impact of his landing didn't disturb any of the grains of sand.
Then it showed him trying to shake some sense into a girl who looked like an ethnic cross between a Scandinavian and an Asian.
"What in the hell did you do to me Klaara? I swear to Fucking god I'm gonna haunt your ass... worse than Sav!" The image of Mark screamed at the Blonde Asian Chick.
"Whooops! My bad." The Mark in the Pub said as he zoomed in on a Parked C-130 Hercules Cargo plane. Inside there was a Kitsune, a Human and Kokoa... Resting her head on the human woman's shoulders and wrapped up in one of the Kitsune's nine tails.
"Welll... I guess that explains it all?"
One last last post
Hadrian stared at the screen, at Kokoa in particular, feeling his eye twitch, and his mouth curled up into a psychotic smile. If one listened closely, you could hear his teeth grinding together.
A crack echoed around the room as the glass he held in his hand was crushed in a furry, clawed fist. His fist shook uncontrollably as his breathing got heavier and heavier.
And what was Hadrian's verbal response to all of this?
One simple word.
Mordecai simply distracted himself with his cup. He felt he should've helped Lucifer, being his boss and all, but he didn't want to get a chastity belt as well. He mumbled something or other when his name was brought up, but mostly into his cup. He did laugh when Saber died again, that was always fun to watch. He distracted himself by throwing some Hellhound at the Iszs, but started to pay attention to the new arrival when he started transforming.
"He gonna be okay?" Mordecai asked, innocently.
Location: The Bar
Subjects: Hadrian, Kurumu, Lucifer, Mordecai, Nega Puce and Saber
Kurumu opened her mouth to answer but instead it was Nega that answered for the Succubus.
"The big babies gone and fallen in love with a Vampire. Fucking Loup Garou... more animal that human I tell you. Always thinking with their Animal Brains instead of their Human ones. Well I'll tell you something... this isn't fucking Twilight, that guy is not Jake and Kokoa... well she's certainly no Bella." Nega said as he grabbed an Isz, and inflated it like a balloon going to far as to tie a bit of twine around the now floating ball full of teeth... this would make an excellent gift for a random kid when Nega left the Pub.
"You seem to know an awful lot about Twilight for a self professed asshole." Kurumu said, the implication not so subtle.
Nega didn't say much of anything... instead he grabbed a bar napkin and channeled a bit of energy into it and infused it with one of the billions of captive souls he had at his disposal. At first nothing happened but the napkin began warping itself and after a moment... there she was... Stephanie Meyers, creator of the Twilight Series... crafted out of bar napkin.
She looked around frightfully as it appeared that she had been placed on a table in a room full of giants.
"Some people deserve what they get more than others... but this one... she deserves more than I can dish out sometimes." N.P. said as he pulled out a lighter and lit the Bar Napkin Author of Twilight in a miniature blaze. As the tiny screams of agony echoed off the walls, they were accompanied by Nega's delighted laughter.
"Of course... you deserve more than all the Hells in all the dimensions can dish out..." Lucifer said coldly, looking at burnt ashes of his favorite Author.
"Yeah... well at least I'm not the one wearing a chastity belt."