Your vision suddenly blacks out for a second, before being filled with a smoke-like grey. You feel a floating sensation, and briefly panic before you realize what happened.
Oh hell, you blacked out again.
"It's Calvin's fault. If that asshole would wait to ask us our preference in women during a decent hour of daylight, we wouldn't be here.
"Depends on how you define here. Or we, for that matter. Didn't I fall asleep, anyway?"
You groan. If this isn't hell, then hell literally cannot exist. You're currently within the recesses of your mind, talking to split personalities,
And one of them looks like Samuel L. Motherfucking Jackson. No points for guessing it's Steve.
Greg looks a bit like Marcellus Wallace. Although, Steve wold say he looks A LOT like him, if you catch my drift...
"Hey douchenozzle, you gonna say something?"
What do you want, Steve?
"What are you going to say to Cal-Pal?"
Isn't it obvious? We gotta go with the girls in our grade.
"Although Shizune isn't a junior, that seems like a good idea."
"Until you realize we're had our entire childhood to get with these girls."
That makes you very angry, and Steve knows that. Don't you, you fucking asshole?
"Woah, wait, what?"
"Our host is being a bitch about me getting us laid Freshman year."
SCREW. YOU. You know damn well that you had to dump-
"Woah, hold on, what the duck is this?"
"Before your time, kid."
Just as you were revving up to grill into that fuckbucket again, the grey haze began to clear. It seems as though you were waking up.
Duck you too.
It's all right, you can swear inside our head, your mum probably isn't going to hear it. She's too busy getting FUCKED, by ME!
Steve roared in laughter, while you only groaned as the world returned to your eyes. Sitting up, you can see Calvin gulping down a glass of water, equal parts worry and boredom on his face.
"I know I'm damn sexy, but you don't have to faint at the sight of me. I don't even have my shirt off." Calvin remarks, off-hand.
You're right. The force of seeing your scrawny, shirtless body would knock me into a coma.
You briefly consider throwing something else at him, but you wouldn't want to break your favorite chair.
You wipe the remaining grogginess from your forced nap from your eyes.
"You alright bro? Sorry I interrupted your meds, didn't think you'd plop that early."
You know, it speaks volumes about Calvin if he didn't think interrupting somebodies meds, AT A SCHOOL WHERE MOST PEOPLE TAKE MULTIPLE MEDICATIONS, was a very big deal.
What he said, but add a few curse words.
You throw your hands up into the air, making a 'fuck this, I'm outta here' gesture.
"IZ ALL GOOOOOD!" You yell, practically knocking Calvin over.
"Jesus Christ Superstar, I don't think the girls dorm heard you!" Calvin yells back, before readjusting himself.
"Anyway, srslybro. Which grade you gonna be working in?"
MOMENT OF TRUTH.
"Dude, chillax. I'm just gonna look for a nice girl in our grade, nothing big."
"Oh. In that case, you mind giving me some advice? There's this senior named Shizune..."
Ohh, Whitebread, he's making a move on your girl! Hit him! C'mon, it'll be quick!
Pushing the thoughts of murder from your mind Greg is suddenly radiating, you decide to do something more devious, as a favor to him.
"To be honest, why help her?"
"W-What? I mean, I like her and all...."
Yep, that did it. It's on now. Greg would never, EVER let you live down not harassing him a bit. And, we need vengence for the blackout and being woken up.
JUST ONE PUNCH. FOR ME.
"Why? She's a hardass with a human-sized voice box, she'd work you dry and make you jump though rings of fire for your affections. Then maybe she'd wink at you, getting you to do it all over again. All her work done by you, and for what?"
You lie through your teeth, on Greg's behalf.
"You know a guy by the name of Kenji?"
"Go talk to him about these girls you might like. He'll set you straight, don't worry."
"Ok...Kenji...Alright, thanks man, you're a real pal!" Calvin stands up, enthused.
You smile, "No problem. Now get out of here, and get ready for school orientation day."
Calvin nods, and heads out. Your smile turns to an evil grin.
Niiice. Now what?
A: You're a choirboy at heart. Go talk to the choir director about joining, since your lazy ass hasn't done it yet.
B: You're a Band Geek at heart. Go talk to the Band director about joining, since your lazy ass hasn't done it yet.
C: You're an athlete at heart. Go down the the track and show those freshman who's the Alpha male.
D: Glory to the academia, let's see what kind of high-brow clubs there are.
E: Student council all the way. You have the charisma, the ability to delegate all the real work, who's more qualified?
F: Screw the clubs, look for women.
(Note: You may pick two max, unless you pick F, obviously.)