Serial Killer Round 49: Carnival of Fear. The killer is dead. ROUND OVER

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The killer has chosen, check your inbox.

Well not my best work, got a massive headache during the writing process and had to finish it up rather quickly. I hope you all enjoy it regardless =D

"Are you tired of being murdered by sick carnies? Are spooks in the fun house giving you a hard time? Are you dealing with the crippling physical and emotional pain stemming from your childhood fear of clowns? Look no further! Hi! RaNDM G here with BubbleWrapBrand's BubbleStab-Proof Bubble Vest! With BubbleWrapBrand's BubbleStab-Proof Bubble Vest, shrug off killing blows with ease*! Ghosts eying that sweet spot in your back? No problem! Watch YOUR back with your own BubbleStab-Proof Bubble Vest!"
* BubbleWrapBrand BubbleStab-Proof Bubble Vest may or may not provide protection against direct or multiple stab wounds. BubbleWrapBrand encourages the safe, responsible use of BubbleStab-Proof Bubble Vest products and advises the best protection is prevention. BubbleWrapBrand does not warranty retroactive purchases.

@RaNDM: Real classy, capitalising on death. I approve.

@RaN: "Stay classy, RaN Diego."

That's right, I made an Anchorman reference out of your name.

*Sees trend in murders are towards salespeople*

"Welp! Time to liquidate all my assets! Ol' Gil is not gonna like this."

Staika has been murdered. Please send me your votes.

This would be the point where I would strangle someone.

If I were the killer.



Now I float on into the JIB, fare thee well mortals.

Great. Now all the salesmen are up here while all our precious customers are down there.

Oh well?

Cardboard crouton, anyone?


"Did you read the disclaimer?"

@Schizzy: Well we could always teach one of the mortals the way of the cardboard and have them give us the money.

@RaNDM: "Underhanded......I like it. Fine then you win this round but I will win the war!"

@staika: "My living competition has liquidated their assets, thanks to your efforts. And with you gone, your cardboard stock sales are plummeting. All that's left is the easily distracted cat."

*spins around in villainous leather chair, stands, looks out window and observes goings on at rival business conglomerate across the street*

"The writing is on the wall, Mr. staika. I own this afterlife."

"Whosawhatnow? What cat?"

"Not now Schizzy. Go play with your yarn."

"What yarn?"

*Sees yarn*

"Ohmygodomygodomygod! Wheeeeeeeeee!"

The votes are counted, someones been killed. Check your inbox.

"Another satisfied customer."

@RaN: I think I'll have to pass on that endorsement quote. "I died a horrible death with the Bubble-Stab Bubble Vest on," doesn't really have a nice ring to it.

"Our product worked exactly as intended. BubbleWrapBrand does not refund non-defective products."

The killer has chosen. Check your inbox.

It's been three days. Go ahead and tell us.

I didn't even know if it had been announced or not.




*scampers away*

*holds cardboard girl hostage again*

@RaNDM: If I didn't know any better, I'd say cardboard girl is deliberately getting herself kidnapped.

@RaNDM: HOW DARE YOU HOLD THAT INNOCENT CARDBOARD HOSTAGE! I'd do something about it, but alas I am dead and no longer care.
*floats away*

@Schizzy: Are you saying that the cardboard is getting free will? If it is then we must harness this new discovery and make a new line of intelligent cardboard. IT WILL SELL MILLIONS!

@staika: That, or she developed Cardboard Stock(holme) Syndrome, where cardboard starts to form familial bonds with their owners.

In that case, we market that to couples desperate for kids. We could sell MILLIONS!

@Schizzy: It is still a great discovery. If we can harness this syndrome in cardboard we can start selling cardboard children. They will never grow and will love you unconditionally. IT IS FOOLPROOF!

@staika: Oop... way ahead of you there, buddy! Thought of an idea and edited my earlier post.

Needless to say, we'll make MILLIONS!

@Schizzy: Great minds think alike or so I am told. Regardless we could make billions if we could only improve them. Like giving them a human soul so that they can live like a true cardboard human.

@staika: Mayhaps we could... 'harvest' souls from dying men and women. But alas, where will we get such a supply from our little humble town of Murderville?

@Schizzy: If only there was someone nice enough to go around killing people, and then we can "borrow" their souls for a bit. Sadly nothing like that could be going on in murderville right? It is too peaceful a town for violence of that degree.

@staika: Wouldn't it be ironic if people got MURDERED in MURDERVILLE? Or is that a coincidence? No matter, it will be something to laugh about, surely!

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