Mall Fight: The Earthventure - Epilogue: Here Comes The Flood [CLOSED, ENDED]

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READ THIS POST BEFORE POSTING



Once upon a time, decades before the day of today, there existed a thing called a "Mall". It was a crude invention of the old times, quickly abandoned in the years that followed and replaced by online stores and teleportation devices, allowing the population to sit on their asses while they ordered their groceries, their music albums and their sex toys.

However, in a very small time window (that spanned centuries in hundreds of other different timelines), a miracle happened: people entered a mall, but this wasn't any ordinary mall, since it was the Mall, and the big difference was that this Mall was written with a capital M, which makes it important for some reason. It was also infinite, possessing every single item you could think of, and served as a gateway through other universes, timelines and dimensions, but that's not important. Anyways, regardless of the name, something incredible happened with people's arrival into this specific Mall; they started killing each other with extravagant weaponry.

I think that's a metaphor for destructive consummerism.

Mall murder (you'd call it "mall fighting", but come on, that's just stupid) quickly became a national pastime, with about a dozen people coming in to try it out and only about 7 sticking around for the entirety of those tri-annual deathfests, the rest immediately leaving upon the sight of people fighting extra-dimensional creatures instead of each other.

It's a long story that lasted about 8 3-and-a-half threads, and you wouldn't want to hear about it.

So, people decide to get back to that Mall once again, for about the 9th 4th time, and began killing each other savagely just fine.

But then, the electricity went out. Bing bam boom. Inconvenient as hell, isn't it? The food's dead, the signal is out, don't even ask me about the showers, and it's become pretty much impossible to go deeper than the main area.

Just thought I would bold that phrase in case you fucks would try something funny.

Soon enough, the people who didn't die exactly as it went off were swiftly faced with the harsh outside, which seemed much darker than it was when they entered. Thus, while holding albums of Journey in one hand and Nokia N-Gages in the other, the survivors set out on figuring out what happened to the world while they were gone.

As an added bonus, one of those poor shmucks could be you.


RULES

It's a bold new concept, but considering there is no respawning in this one, you are going to have to abide to the normal rules of RPing:

#1: Don't be a complete douche. Simple enough, isn't it? Respect each other's opinions, or at least be a dick in a way that would make sense for your in-thread self. (NOTE: Chances are the kind of people who post on Mall Fight in the first place are going to let being a dick slide if the guy being one is funny as hell. But then again, I haven't seen a lot of funny people here.)

#2: No godmodding. I know Mall Fight has pretty much an entire continuity built on godmodders, but for fuck's sake, if you consider doing it in this context, I'm probably going to sell your organs to that shady guy that lives down the street.

#3: Everyone can contribute. This was a staple of Mall Fight in the beginning, but now I feel I really need to stress it out for the sake of people knowing it: there is technically no true supreme GM, since everyone can contribute to the story. Sometimes, I might impose my will if no one is agreeing with each other on what's going on, but otherwise, my title as "GM" is only here because I made the thread, and because it would have never existed along with the 10 previous threads if it wasn't for me. #3a: If you don't know anything about Mall Fight, disregard my previous claim as a living god.

#4: Fight enemies (or each other) in a way that isn't killing a person in one post. Again, due to the lack of respawning, if you were still to insta-kill people in one post, that wouldn't be nice at all. If you want, you could try using a d20 or whatever else.

#5: Have fun, or else. I'm serious, you better have goddamn fun if you don't want me to extract your intestines with a spoon.


(OPTIONAL): CHARACTER SHEET

Concerning the Character Sheet:

You can fill out the below character sheet. I know, I wouldn't have thought about doing that either. The most important part is the inventory; you'll have to do with your better sense of judgement and not push it, for the sake of "fairness", whatever that is. For example, you could start off with a few rusty kitchen knives, an hourglass, a pound of beef jerky, a wagon wheel, an ox and about 20 rounds, and you'd already be set for your voyage to Oregon!

...Wait, I think I got this mistaken with something else.

But yes, otherwise, you're mostly free to make your character, with only common sense and biology as your limits. Feel free to be more or less detailed on some parts. Although, to be honest, I'm not sure what character sheets are doing in Mall Fight, which is pretty much based on self-inserts, but again; it's not obligatory, you could just spew out your inventory on your first post like a square.

When you have your sheet, you can just put it up on your first post, and you're all set; get ready for the ride that will never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever end.


ACT 1: Something Is definitely not right here

Merde.

The sky's kind of gray, and that's all I can see with that fucking forest in the way. I definitely can't go back in the Mall, it's dead; oh well, I better wait for someone else to show up. There's a ton of rocks in this place, though, I wish I could ride those things like the pioneers did.

...

Ah, fuck it, I got time. I get on one of the rocks and try to start it up.

Damn

I resurface from the long dried out sewers ready for some scavenging action! Note I narrate that so optimistically as I have just found this heavy blunt baton that I of course just found laying around on the ground waiting for me to take. No dirty ex cops where required to knock unconscious to procure this useful type of weapon as that would be most uncivilized.

Now that I'm on such a positive train of thought, I almost forget to take my meds.

gulp

Good thing I didn't. Now, who's that oldish lookin fella on that rock over there? Maybe he can state my current location without a skirmish (personally I don't care ether way.) Seriously though, where am I?

I walk over to the gentleman casually and I ask him as he rides his rock in his imagination "Hey buddy. Mind telling me what you're doin there?"

I burst out of a small pile of debris, wild eyed and swearing madly. "WHAT THE FUCK? WHAT THE FUCK?"

I suddenly drop out of nowhere and land in a small river "AH Fuck! wait this isn't The Mall, where am I?" I said slightly in pain looking around "is this Earth? no it can't be, wait no Downtown London!"

I open my eyes. I'm in a small room somewhere. Everything hurts. I sit up and look around. I am not in the mall anymore. Looking out the window, I see cars on the street far below. It early morning, the sky is grey and the sun is a shimmering yellow circle on the horizon. Far away, skyscrapers rising above trees and houses.

Where am I?


Reginald was still getting used to the state of the world as it had become. It wasn't easy since the humans in their expansive cage stopped making regular visits. It was even less so when even the food human, Steve ceased to stop by. He never felt true fear until he realized surviving meant leaving the safety of his home and venturing into the human cage. The very thought of it was terrifying. He was comfortable seeing them when they were enclosed in their own space, sometimes up close. But to actually venture into their territory? Sure, it seemed they had all gone away, exactly like they would each night as was their ritual. Suppose they were hibernating? It wasn't a phenomena he was familiar with, as the hairless creatures all seemed to return the next day. There were, of course, days where there would only be a handful of humans around - food humans, cleaning humans, sometimes humans in skin-covers that looked more clean than most would take notes, these ones in particular Reginald was always curious about - and there would be strange ornaments placed all over their enclosures, but this certainly wasn't one of those times.

If the humans were all hibernating, perhaps it wouldn't be as dangerous. Then again, perhaps they were easily awoken. Perhaps they get aggressive when they are woken. There was so much to consider, and the more Reginald considered the less comfortable he was with the idea of leaving. But it was either that or starve. And he wasn't going to die there.

Initially after entering the human enclosure, Reginald was surprised by just how big it was. He knew it would have to be great in size to accommodate the numbers it did, but the scope was truly magnificent. Beyond the brick walls of what was seemingly the entirety of the human enclosure was even more space. Never had he felt so little as he did then. What was this place? Was this all for the humans? How much space did they need? Just how many enclosures were there and what purpose did they serve? This was too much too soon for Reginald. He would need to dwell on his discovery another time, as he was exposed and had to be careful. There were no humans in sight, which was very relieving. He hadn't even considered how he would approach one. Or how one would approach him for that matter. They were generally loud creatures, he recalled. Especially the little ones. What might help if he were to meet a human would be skin-coverings of his own. They bigger ones always seemed to dislike whenever a little one would begin to remove theirs. It seemed the creatures had a fixation with confinement, a concept he could never quite grasp.

Reginald didn't have to walk far to find an enclosure that had many skin-coverings on display. When he went inside, he was shocked to see how much more there was. How many skin-coverings did they all need? There surely wasn't enough humans to make this many a necessity. Was there? He was doubtful. At any rate, he perused all the bits of cloth he could until he found a set to his liking. They were the skin-coverings of those authority figures with the writing papers and just the right size for him. He actually wondered how many humans of his size were in positions of authority. Perhaps not many. It was a bit of a struggle to get the arm and upper body coverings to resemble those on the human picture display, but he managed well enough. He would have to forgo the leg coverings as not only did he find them much too restrictive to bear, but there simply wasn't any of his size and shape. It would have to do, and if any of the humans found him indecent, well that was their own complicated problem.

I climb out of a large cardboard box, and give a mighty yawn. I stare blankly at my broken phone.
"God damn it. Where am I?"
I close the box and saunter out of the alleyway into the quiet street. I head over to the nearest bin and begin the morning rummaging session. The motions are all based on muscle memories.

The mall closed. I'm here. They're probably dead or worse off. I'm back in the routine now.

I stuff a half eaten burger into my mouth.

Connor Lonske:
"Hey buddy. Mind telling me what you're doin there?"

I jumped a bit when I heard someone's voice coming out from behind me; someone already came out? That's unexpected. I hope he didn't see me ride that rock, I'd just look like an idiot-non mais merde, il est derrière moi, tourne!

I turn around and see a guy (his name's Richard, but I don't know that yet, don't I?), most definitely the one who called me out in the first place. "Oh, uh, non-no, it's nothing. I was just, uh... trying to get a better point of view of the horizon. Ouais, c'est ça."

OK, good, now time to-

Paddy the Second:
I burst out of a small pile of debris, wild eyed and swearing madly. "WHAT THE FUCK? WHAT THE FUCK?"

Suddenly, another person broke out of the debris nearby, swearing extremely profusely. That's not something people see every day.

Captain Anon:
I suddenly drop out of nowhere and land in a small river "AH Fuck! wait this isn't The Mall, where am I?" I said slightly in pain looking around "is this Earth? no it can't be, wait no Downtown London!"

Sigma Castell:
I open my eyes. I'm in a small room somewhere. Everything hurts. I sit up and look around. I am not in the mall anymore. Looking out the window, I see cars on the street far below. It early morning, the sky is grey and the sun is a shimmering yellow circle on the horizon. Far away, skyscrapers rising above trees and houses.

Where am I?

Mortis Nuncius:
snip

MinimanZombie:
I climb out of a large cardboard box, and give a mighty yawn. I stare blankly at my broken phone.
"God damn it. Where am I?"
I close the box and saunter out of the alleyway into the quiet street. I head over to the nearest bin and begin the morning rummaging session. The motions are all based on muscle memories.

The mall closed. I'm here. They're probably dead or worse off. I'm back in the routine now.

I stuff a half eaten burger into my mouth.

BEEP BOOP BOOP BOP BOOP BOOP BEEP

SENDING META FEED OF NARRATOR/"GM" IN THE FORM OF BOLDED TEXT

Although none of them really knew what was going on (except maybe for Reginald, but he's a chimpanzee and all), something was sure; there are a lot of trees around here. That pretty much removes Africa out of the possible locations, but I digress. In fact, the general area was something I completely forgot to mention, which ironically confirms my fear of having forgotten something before posting this thread.

Anyway, Blame Game aside, there were trees; although everyone was relatively close to each other, trees are known for obstructing views of the environment. Thus begins that part of the RP. You know the one.

Yawning, I get to my feet and stretch in the morning sunlight. I relax, and glance around myself. The room is sparsely furnished, and even decorated even less. The bed I woke in is against the opposite wall to the window, and there is a small bedside cabinet, with a broken lamp on top of it. The walls are painted white.

"Well somebody sure knows how to liven a place up..."

I walk over to the mirrored door across from me and throw it open. Inside are my clothes, a satchel, and a blender. I squat, and open the fabric bag. Inside are several things I don't remember getting, and my phone.

"Aw yiss."

I turn it on, tapping my foot impatiently as the screen flickers into life. I go to contacts, and scroll down the list. Nobody here I recognize . I sigh, and hover my finger over the name 'Probe'.

"Well I guess it couldn't hurt..."

I click the green phone icon.

I finish the meal and go back to my box. I collect my belongings. I look at my phone once more before deciding to bin it. I prepare my throwing arm, when suddenly my thought to be broken phone rings.

"...Huh?"

I stare at it for a little while. I then realize that I was never in possession of a phone, especially one that would be considered expensive even by the average consumers standard. I answer the phone.

"...Hello?

I try to hold back laughter (pretty well too), completely ignoring the man popping out of the debris, so I can sarcastically say, "Ah. Right then. Totally not imitating Spongebob I see, Mr?"

Before he answers I say as not to be rude, "My names Richard by the way."

Way to go me on the not being rude department.

"Oh good It's you. Hi. Its me. Sigma. the person from the Mall? Anyway, where are you?"
I walk over to the window and look out.

I wake up on top of a particularly thick branch of a tree. How I got there, how nobody noticed me and how my formerly-unconscious body never slid off are mysteries that may never be answered. So forget I ever mentioned them.
"Ow... the hell did I do last night?"

Reginald heard voices nearby. They were humans, there was no doubt about that. He scratched his head momentarily, considering his options. They could be dangerous, they could be friendly. There was a rather loud human, but the projected voice certainly didn't sound like a little one. Reginald was in quite a predicament. He wanted to make peace with these people, but hadn't a single clue if they were approachable. Perhaps he should get a closer, he thought, and so he did, keeping in mind to use the trees to shield him from sight.

"S-Sigma?"

I look at my old and stained clothes.

"I'm uh...Wait are you near a bunch of trees. Like a park or something? Cause I can see someone in the trees. Meet us down near the middle of the park. If you're near it you'll get what I'm saying."

I begin walking over towards the figure as I try to figure out who it may be. I climb up the tree and sit next to the person.

"Hey. How's it going?"

I groan and pull myself up to straddle the branch.
"Not good. I'm in a tree, with no recollection of how I got here and significant amounts of my body hurt."
I begin stretching, and nearly topple out of the tree.
"How about you?"

"Park. Trees. Got it."
I turn and run out the door, grabbing my stuff as I pass. I hope down the corridor as I pull my trousers on, then fall several times on the stairs as I fumble with the clasp on my bra and the buttons on my waistcoat. Eventually, I reach the ground floor. Theres no-one else around. I shiver in the cold air, ignoring the slight cut on my forehead.
"Being mortal again sucks," I mutter to myself as I shoulder my way through the double doors and out onto the pavement.

Mortis Nuncius:
Reginald heard voices nearby. They were humans, there was no doubt about that. He scratched his head momentarily, considering his options. They could be dangerous, they could be friendly. There was a rather loud human, but the projected voice certainly didn't sound like a little one. Reginald was in quite a predicament. He wanted to make peace with these people, but hadn't a single clue if they were approachable. Perhaps he should get a closer, he thought, and so he did, keeping in mind to use the trees to shield him from sight.

Reginald observes the group, consisting of one man on a rock, a second person observing the first one, and a third one, having just finished spewing out swear words.

Well, I need to play it cool. I slide down the rock and approach Richard by a few steps. Maybe two or three. Nah, there's room for a fourth one. Non, juste trois, apparemment. "Yeah, the name's Marcel," I told him. "It's a French name."

----

A vagrancy quickly sets in.

No, nevermind, I don't even know what "vagrancy" means.

What I do know, however, is that the trees are different; by that, I mean that the trees Tommy, Trilby and Sigma have seen, and the lake that David Matthews (Woon) has had the pleasure of plunging in, were different trees from the ones Reginald, Richard, Marcel and Joe had seen.

What I'm saying is that they are separated. This isn't a horror movie, though, so it's more a plot point than a cheap way to kill off people.

I fail to pay attention to this french fellow because "HOLLY SHIT A MONKEY!" and boy am I joyful about this turn of events.

"Awwww he's got a little suit that he probably stole or something. So cute oh my god." my mood raises from it's already high state to almost manic levels.

I wave to the chimp as he nervously gets closer while I say, "Hi little buddy. What's your name?"

I am of course stupid enough to not know chimps can't talk hence why I asked that dumb ass question.

I stand in the park. There is a small child across the pavement from me. I stare at him. He stares at me. My eye twitches. His mother, noticing the strange person observing her child, hurries him away whilst throwing me a dirty look. I watch them go. And pick up my phone.
"Hey Trilby. Are orphans still fair game on Earth?"

"I cannot name a single place where they are fair game, Sig. So, no. Not at all."

"...What kind of fucked up place is this. I am but a humble chef simply attempting to procure some organic produce for my cooking show. This is a travesty. A disgrace. I wont stand for it."
I hang up and walk after the woman.

I observe the monkey, perched on a tree, something that rhymes with "-ee" or something like that. "A lot of monkeys steal suits where you come from, Richard?"

Yep. Smooth.

"Me? Oh I'm fine. Except for the homelessness. But I'm good."

I spot Sigma.

"Oh hey Sigma. So...uh...where's everyone else?"

I don't notice the frenchman waiting for the chimp's reaction.

I keep my eyes on the retreating figure of the parent and her child is it grows smaller in the distance.
"Well, I'm assuming this is Earth...and we're in England or as far as I can tell... so using my powers of deduction they're probably in Zimbabwe."

Sigma Castell:
"Well, I'm assuming this is Earth...and we're in England or as far as I can tell... so using my powers of deduction they're probably in Zimbabwe."

Sigma gains +15 XP for Elementary Deduction!

I'm just kidding, I think he just got some kind of STD.

I attempt to climb out of the tree, however my hands slip and I fall. Luckily, I land on a lower branch... then slip off that and tumble backwards. Thankfully, due to the low height of the tree and the damp ground, I land on my back, uninjured.
"Thank god for shitty British weather."

The woman walks out of my sight, and I start running. I pass Trilby and Zombie, waving hello as I do so.

The chimp's brow furrowed and he rubbed his chin in confusion at the human before him. He had encountered such behavior before, humans speaking to him in their native tongue, and though he could never quite understand what they were saying, he usually had a knack for grasping their intent. This one seemed almost as curious as Reginald, though with the initial outburst there was a chance the human had some capacity for hostility. Or at least give the impression of it. Reginald, using what knowledge of human body language he knew, stood upright and calmly grunted, his hands lightly swinging at his sides, slowly so as not to startle the human. He repeated the grunt for the one on the rock who had also wished to communicate, wondering if these ones in particular had never known his species, his customs, or were simply of lesser intelligence.

Oh man all that monkey stuff he's doing! I don't understand any of it but I get he's trying to communicate (oh man it's so cool!).

My response to this communication is to calm the fuck down as to not scare it. I proceed to point to myself and say, "Richard." and then raise my hand to see if he's tamed enough to know what a handshake is not, not at all considering if this monkey has any intent of being my friend, if it's hostile or not, or that he thinks I'm not very intelligent.

Well, I guess I might as well do like he does. I raise my hand in the same way as Richard and call out my name to the monkey: "Marcel." I might as well make my first words to the monkey pronounced in French, because if he turns out to be one of those super monkeys that are part of some Roswell-style conspiracy like in the X-Files, I might as well test it out.

What the hell am I even thinking?

I stand up and run after Sigma.

I execute a pinpoint turn and run up the steps to the Nursery.
_____________________

Five minutes later I crash through the window, dragging a screaming toddler by his arm. I scramble to my feet and run back towards the park. Three seconds later a hoard of angry parents burst through the doors and charge after me.

I facepalm, trip a bunch of people, then run after Sigma.
"After we escape, you're buying me booze because I CANNOT deal with this shit five minutes after I wake up."

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