"Your metaphors could stand to be more consistent but yes, I feel you."
"Dude, if you wanted a poet, you should've hired Hemingway. Hemingway was a poet, right?"
"Do I look like Wikipedia to you?"
"Dude, I'm fucking blind, you look like a goddamn grey blur."
"Go have a sandwich. That fixed my eyes."
"I think. I have no fucking clue if I can see."
"I have literally tried every single trick in the book. I'm blind. I can live with it. The stupid anime your icon is from has a blind guy, he makes okay, doesn't he?"
"Yeah, because he can sense pretty much everything near him, and he has a magical school uniform."
"And I can raise the dead! Apples and oranges may be two different things, but you drink both their juices at breakfast, don't you?"
"No, I don't. And does raising the dead give you the ability to perceive your surroundings with amazing clarity?"
"I dunno dude, I can put that on my 'To-Do' List."
I start trying on a variety of stolen hats.
I take a seat, before attempting to dig a hole in the train's floor.
Green finishes off what must have been a ridiculously big lollipop for it to take this long to finish it, and goes off to talk to the priest guy again.
I take out an iMac and send Green an email asking what he's up to.
"Stupid fucking Fortress, blowing my phone up... Grumble grumble."
I wake up in a garden. Somewhere.
Meat is a bloody and terrible thing to dig.
I must conquer it.
"Salt, why are you even doing that?"
"Because, I have to find out the secrets of the Sanageyama."
"You lost me. How, exactly, are you planning to do that?"
"I...I don't fucking know. I just want to do something to occupy the time. So unless you have some Connect Four or some shit, we're stuck."
I wander off.
Green opens and reads the E-mail, before happily sending a reply.
"I'm great! I'm in SPAIN, man! I just killed a fucking DEMON! I think the mechanic might have TAMPERED with my ENTHUSIASM mod! Where are YOU GUYS?!"
I wander back to my computer and reply to Green.
"We're in a meat tunnel of some kind. We were in New Jersey, though. What are you doing in Spain?"
"ASK GREEN WHAT HIS CUP SIZE IS!"
I pick up an apple. It smiles at me.
I set it on fire and walk away down the path.
"Trilby, we are up shit creek without a paddle in sight, and I am not gonna swim in poo. Humor me."
"But... fine. I'll ask the robot what his cup size is."
I do so.
"Well, I tried to get a plane out of that burning airport, but it crashed into a mental hospital!
And my cup size is very much nonexistent!
"Okay, good. Then Green can't steal my secret weapon."
"I see. How'd that work out for you?"
I look over at Salt.
"Green says he's not got a cup size."
"Good, good. So, Trilby, you meet my zombies?"
"I don't now how I survived! But I did!
Spain is AWESOME!! I love it!
I did almost get killed by a demonic being in the basement of a house, but it's all good now!"
"The bald one is Reggie, the guy with the shirt is Daryl, and the other one is Gabe."