Mall Fight: The Earthventure - Epilogue: Here Comes The Flood [CLOSED, ENDED]

 Pages PREV 1 . . . 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 . . . 346 NEXT
 

"...Dude, you act like I'd ever have any of those. Or that they'd know any of the Fighters. Or come to you for advice."

"Stranger things have happened."

"I'll send postcards to every girl in the Omniverse warning them off the Dastardly Dame, Saltarius Crane"

"Sigma no. We need girls to hire Salt so we can get money to buy things."

"Oh, go fuck yourself. You're lucky I'm still in this escort service after you said that."

"I don't need you. I have Sigma. And me. And I'm fairly sure I can convince Marcel to join."

"I'm the only female, dude."

"Irregardless!"
...
"Uh... oh who cares. Nobody's ever gonna hire us."

"Someone just hired Isaac."

"Oh yeah. Where is that guy?"

I see everyone walk up to the top floor bickering about prostitution and failed love lives. I am completely unsurprised.

"Marcel, those boats have been trying to kill me though out all of Jersey and NYC for 50 or so pages now! They'll probably try to kill us too, we have to finish them here and now!"

"Hell if I know. You REALLY asking the blind chick where someone is?"

"Maybe you heard someone complaining about shitty escort services on your way here, I don't fuckin know."

"Gimme a shitty bandana and wrap it around my eyes, maybe I can bullshit and became Sanageyama."

"Yeah... that's probably not gonna work. And you can't have my bandanna."

"I can train myself! Like, there's literally no downside to me going down that road!"

"Except Sanageyama got his magical sight thing because of his Goku Uniform. So unless you've got a sewing kit and some Life Fibers in your inventory, you're probably shit outta luck."

"If you were REALLY a God I should worship, you'd help me out on that part."

"Fine, I'll help. After we deal with this shit."

"FUCK YEAH! What am I helping with?"

"Whatever shit Richard got himself into. I was too busy thinking about that rich guy that hired us to pay attention."

"...I'm just saying, we could build up our own super society whatever. You could be uh...eyebrow...lady. And me your...blind man. Woman. Whatever."

"Uh... sure. Sounds fun."
I make a mental note to put my next skill point into Eyebrows.

"So, uh...what now?"

...I feel like callin out what's her face for being useless as she does nothing but talk and have delusions of grandeur but I'm MIA 75 percent of the time so I just sorta wait for Marcel to say something.

I use the corpses of Comradeski and steve to create an unholy abomination of twisted and mutated flesh.

Comradeski's ghost would consider this Metal as fuck and approve... If he where not being choked by Steve's ghost for being a capitalist pig.

Connor Lonske:
...I feel like callin out what's her face for being useless as she does nothing but talk and have delusions of grandeur but I'm MIA 75 percent of the time so I just sorta wait for Marcel to say something.

"...So, uh... boats?"

"Yeah. They should be close by. There should be some rocket launchers or something on the roof that we can use to kill those sons of bitches. You ready Marcel?"

"Did someone say boat?"

Connor Lonske:
"Yeah. They should be close by. There should be some rocket launchers or something on the roof that we can use to kill those sons of bitches. You ready Marcel?"

"Richard, we're in the middle of a power plant, and the sea's roughly 100 miles away from here, how do you want boats to-"

You hear the faint sound of music in the horizon. As it comes closer, you realize that it isn't just music; it's mid-80's hip-hop, played out of two boats flying towards the power plant at a staggering speed.

"...What the fuck is that?"

Marcel, Richard, Trilby, Tommy, Sigma and Salt Vs. Two Boats!

INITIATIVE ROLLS:

Marcel: 5
Richard: 9
Trilby: 19
Tommy: 14
Sigma: 8
Salt: 17

Sports Boat: 1 (fumble with 20; it falls in the ocean, stays there a bit, and then comes back up)
Fishing Boat: 7

COMBAT ORDER:
Trilby
Salt
Tommy
Richard
Sigma
Fishing Boat
Marcel
Sports Boat

"Oh, son of a bitch, we have to get out of here before they-" As I try to run down the stairs to safety, I trip over an FIM-92 Stinger and hit the floor.

"wat"
I fire a dildo at one of the boats.

I go for the diplomacy approach again.
"Hello good friends! I see you're boat enthusiasts! Let's uh...discuss boats?"

I star doing a rain-dance to summon a storm.

I do a dramatic flourish and throw one of my excess shovels at the boats, really hoping Hel boosts that shit.

 Pages PREV 1 . . . 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 . . . 346 NEXT

Reply to Thread

This thread is locked