Mall Fight: The Earthventure - Epilogue: Here Comes The Flood [CLOSED, ENDED]

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I put my skill point into Eyebrows, then examine the Totally Legit Rasputin-Slaying Kitchen Knife.

I put my skill point into Fighting/Melee again, because I will totally be a master at this by the end of EV.
"Time to start constructing the greatest God damn boat ever built."

Wait, I forgot to mention everyone's HP increased by 5. Because it did.

Sigma Castell:
"MMMMMMMMMMMM"
I examine the Lost Romanov's Lungs, and put my skill point into Dues Ex Machina.
"Wheres the damn Perk Shop."

It's an incredibly old piece of lung; considering the oldness of the lead that's in it, the holder must have died a long time ago.

Saltarius:
I place my skill point into Blind Sight and start to collect the fallen boat shrapnel to lay it to rest.

You end up with a bunch of scrap left over from the boat and bury it. You hear the faint spectral sound of a ship sailing away to see in the distance.

TrilbyWill:
I put my skill point into Eyebrows, then examine the Totally Legit Rasputin-Slaying Kitchen Knife.

It seems to be marketed as a knife powerful enough to kill people as difficult to kill as Rasputin. 4; you don't manage to figure out its material or quality.

I slowly slide down the power plant and manage to get back to ground level, where I approach Richard. "So, uh, Richard; what were you doing in New Jersey, anyway?"

"Hey, Hel. You got any like...odd jobs I can do? I mean, I think I just gave you a sweet boat."

"This'll come in handy... uh... yeah, I don't want to think about when it's is gonna come in handy."
I try to make my way to ground level.

I roll over to Marcel, "Dude lets get stoned on these health pipes!"

I go and dig up the boat salvage to aid me in the building effort.

Saltarius:
"Hey, Hel. You got any like...odd jobs I can do? I mean, I think I just gave you a sweet boat."

"Hmm... see if that Richard guy has anything in mind. That boat thing was fucking hilarious."

TrilbyWill:
"This'll come in handy... uh... yeah, I don't want to think about when it's is gonna come in handy."
I try to make my way to ground level.

You reach ground level, where most of the others reside. You see that Richard has come back with a bunch of health pipes.

Connor Lonske:
I roll over to Marcel, "Dude lets get stoned on these health pipes!"

"Uh... no, thanks. Seriously, Richard, why did you head here in the first place?"

MinimanZombie:
I go and dig up the boat salvage to aid me in the building effort.

16; you manage to dig the remains up. I don't think Salt and the boat's ghostly remains will like that.

"Because plot progression my friend," I smoke a pipe causing my health to increase to 125% it's normal capacity. I'm semi disappointed as it does nothing else. Blah.

Connor Lonske:
"Because plot progression my friend," I smoke a pipe causing my health to increase to 125% it's normal capacity. I'm semi disappointed as it does nothing else. Blah.

I tactically attack my face with the palm of my hand. "I'm not surprised by that, Richard, but what exactly did you come here for?"

I try to determine the knife's material by licking it.
"I hope this isn't poisoned, or made of uranium or some shit."

I sigh, walking over to Richard.

"...Uh, yeah, look the goddess of the underworld kinda said I have to do some work for you."

"I was half expecting you to think I went here just for the sake of it." I take 3 health pipes into my inventory, motion Marcel to follow me into the power plant's control building and then walk towards it's entrance.

TrilbyWill:
I try to determine the knife's material by licking it.
"I hope this isn't poisoned, or made of uranium or some shit."

5; It's made of uranium.

Connor Lonske:
"I was half expecting you to think I went here just for the sake of it." I take 3 health pipes into my inventory, motion Marcel to follow me into the power plant's control building and then walk towards it's entrance.

"Alright, fine." I follow Richard along.

Saltarius:
I sigh, walking over to Richard.

"...Uh, yeah, look the goddess of the underworld kinda said I have to do some work for you."

"OK, how about I rephrase that? I, as goddess of the underworld as according to Norse mythology, decree that you must keep track of that Richard person for a little while to see if something as amusing as those flying boats will happen to him. If no such thing occurs, I will either hold you responsible for my lack of amusement by inevitability or tell you to kill the guy instead. However, since this thread's engine is based on The Elder Scrolls engine, I will be completely unable to act on my word and nothing you will do will affect my perception of you as the writers intend my vision to be.

Is that a more dignifyingly-worded task for you?"

"shit"
I put the knife in my inventory, which I hope is lead-lined.
"Anyone know what to do if you accidentally lick uranium?"

I appear from behind Trilby.
"whY YOU HAVE EXTENSIVE SURGERY OF COURSE"
I attempt to de-radiation Trilbies mouth.
"I'm a doctor I swear"

"...Y'know, you could just...say 'fuck the rules'. I mean, you're a goddess. Game engines shouldn't be anything."

I let Sigma do his thing and hope for a high roll.

Sigma Castell:
I appear from behind Trilby.
"whY YOU HAVE EXTENSIVE SURGERY OF COURSE"
I attempt to de-radiation Trilbies mouth.
"I'm a doctor I swear"

2, fumble with 17; not only does that medical process not even exist, but you end up operating with a kitchen knife you found on the ground nearby, and you didn't even bother wiping the ketchup off of it.

...Wait, that doesn't really look like ketchup...

Saltarius:
"...Y'know, you could just...say 'fuck the rules'. I mean, you're a goddess. Game engines shouldn't be anything."

"Being a goddess doesn't really mean much in the grand scheme of things, you know that? There used to be the Greeks and the Romans and the Egyptians and the Chaos Gods and Crom and Brian Cox and tons of other shit, tons of them constantly fighting each other over who's in charge of what. And now they're all dead."

"...But, you're a goddess of the dead. If they're dead, that kind of means they're all collective your bitches. You just kinda seem...don't take any offense, but you seem kinda reactive when you could be more proactive."

"HRMMMMMMM THIS NEEDS MORE EXTENSIVE DOCTORING"
I use my title and attempt to detox Trilbies body of the radiation.

"oh god i'm gonna die"
I try to cut off the irradiated part of my tongue.

"Hey, Trilby, if you die, I can bring you back as a zombie."

I glare at Salt.
"HE'S NOT GOING TO DIE NUUUUUUURRRRSSEEE DIANE NOW HAND ME MORE MORPHINE WE HAVE TO DECOMPRESS THE HYPERNAXEL ARTERY"

Saltarius:
"...But, you're a goddess of the dead. If they're dead, that kind of means they're all collective your bitches. You just kinda seem...don't take any offense, but you seem kinda reactive when you could be more proactive."

"That's assuming there would still have been corpse; there weren't any. Some guys swooped in and fucking killed all of them by the hundreds!"

Sigma Castell:
"HRMMMMMMM THIS NEEDS MORE EXTENSIVE DOCTORING"
I use my title and attempt to detox Trilbies body of the radiation.

14; with some toothpaste and baking soda, you manage to neutralize the neural reaction of the neutronic reversal caused by the radiation, with only a few fucked up organic acceleration processes.

TrilbyWill:
"oh god i'm gonna die"
I try to cut off the irradiated part of my tongue.

17; you muster up the courage to cut the irradiated part of your tongue off. 7; you don't succeed in doing so.

"Wait what was that about fucked up organic acceleration processes?"

"NOOOOOOWWW WE'RE GETTING SOMEWHERE"
I attempt to replace Trilbys liver with superior mechanical parts, then attempt to de-radify him again.
"MMMMMMMMMMMMM"

I attempt to run away before that happens.

Sigma Castell:
"NOOOOOOWWW WE'RE GETTING SOMEWHERE"
I attempt to replace Trilbys liver with superior mechanical parts, then attempt to de-radify him again.
"MMMMMMMMMMMMM"

TrilbyWill:
I attempt to run away before that.

8; you can't manage to get that nutjob off of you.

17 for plausibility, 3 (fumble with 7) for execution; you accidentally blow up Trilby's appendix.

Trilby: 65/115 (-15!)

"...Well you didn't need it anyway"
I disinfect the area, then stitch the internal wounds up. I then stitch the external wounds up. Then I wrap a bandage around Trilby's midsection, and prescribe him a course of Immune-boosters.

I try and put Isaac in a headlock, in order to punch him in the face.

Sigma Castell:
"...Well you didn't need it anyway"
I disinfect the area, then stitch the internal wounds up. I then stitch the external wounds up. Then I wrap a bandage around Trilby's midsection, and prescribe him a course of Immune-boosters.

9; you kinda wave your knife around the area where the appendix is (was) and then wrap it up. Blood starts coming out.

MinimanZombie:
I try and put Isaac in a headlock, in order to punch him in the face.

18; you put him in a headlock and punch him in the face.

Sigma: 45/115 (-4!)

I stab Sigma in the hand with my uranium knife.

"GODDAMMIT DICE IM TRYING TO HELP HIM IM PRETTY SURE I CAN STITCH A WOUND UP WITHOUT MESSING IT UP FFS ITS NOT THAT HARD I AM A TRAINED SEAMSTRESS"
I use my Title to heal Trilby.

I slam my knee into Isaac's nose.

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