Mall Fight: The Earthventure - Epilogue: Here Comes The Flood [CLOSED, ENDED]

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"Your metaphors could stand to be more consistent but yes, I feel you."

"Dude, if you wanted a poet, you should've hired Hemingway. Hemingway was a poet, right?"

"Do I look like Wikipedia to you?"

"Dude, I'm fucking blind, you look like a goddamn grey blur."

"Go have a sandwich. That fixed my eyes."
"I think. I have no fucking clue if I can see."

"I have literally tried every single trick in the book. I'm blind. I can live with it. The stupid anime your icon is from has a blind guy, he makes okay, doesn't he?"

"Yeah, because he can sense pretty much everything near him, and he has a magical school uniform."

"And I can raise the dead! Apples and oranges may be two different things, but you drink both their juices at breakfast, don't you?"

"No, I don't. And does raising the dead give you the ability to perceive your surroundings with amazing clarity?"

"I dunno dude, I can put that on my 'To-Do' List."

I start trying on a variety of stolen hats.

I take a seat, before attempting to dig a hole in the train's floor.

Green finishes off what must have been a ridiculously big lollipop for it to take this long to finish it, and goes off to talk to the priest guy again.

I take out an iMac and send Green an email asking what he's up to.
"Stupid fucking Fortress, blowing my phone up... Grumble grumble."

I wake up in a garden. Somewhere.
"....This looks...familiar...."

Meat is a bloody and terrible thing to dig.

I must conquer it.

"Salt, why are you even doing that?"

"Because, I have to find out the secrets of the Sanageyama."

"You lost me. How, exactly, are you planning to do that?"

"I...I don't fucking know. I just want to do something to occupy the time. So unless you have some Connect Four or some shit, we're stuck."

"Fair enough."
I wander off.


Green opens and reads the E-mail, before happily sending a reply.

"I'm great! I'm in SPAIN, man! I just killed a fucking DEMON! I think the mechanic might have TAMPERED with my ENTHUSIASM mod! Where are YOU GUYS?!"

I wander back to my computer and reply to Green.

"We're in a meat tunnel of some kind. We were in New Jersey, though. What are you doing in Spain?"


I pick up an apple. It smiles at me.
"Hahahah no."
I set it on fire and walk away down the path.

"Uh... what? Why?"

"Trilby, we are up shit creek without a paddle in sight, and I am not gonna swim in poo. Humor me."

"But... fine. I'll ask the robot what his cup size is."

I do so.

"Well, I tried to get a plane out of that burning airport, but it crashed into a mental hospital!

And my cup size is very much nonexistent!


"Okay, good. Then Green can't steal my secret weapon."

"I see. How'd that work out for you?"

I look over at Salt.
"Green says he's not got a cup size."

"Good, good. So, Trilby, you meet my zombies?"

"I don't think so."

"I don't now how I survived! But I did!

Spain is AWESOME!! I love it!

I did almost get killed by a demonic being in the basement of a house, but it's all good now!"

"The bald one is Reggie, the guy with the shirt is Daryl, and the other one is Gabe."

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