Mall Fight: The Earthventure - Epilogue: Here Comes The Flood [CLOSED, ENDED]

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"You can be a baron."

I assume Marcel is KOed by the fact Green has a vibarter hand hence not contributing to the conversation. This assumption will have to do as an explanation for now.

"YESSSSSSS"

Green does a fist-pump, as best he can with a fucking vibrator for a hand.

"I think if we get a 2/3's vote, we can institute a constitutional monarchy."

He looks over at the Semi-Conscious Marcel, and looks back at Salt.

"I might be able to forge Frenchy's signature."

"Forge everyone's for all I care."

"Okay! Wait. I don't even know his name. Nor do I have the ability to write! I was created left-handed, you know!"

"From what I know, Marcel, Richard, Joe, Sigma, and...just forge any old name."

"O-kay! Where do I sign it, though? How are we doing this?"

"Just look up legal print on your database or whatever. I'm gonna go forge a crown while you're at that."

"Database? All I have on here are D&D Manuals, stat sheets, and the information my master programmed into me! I don't have anything about legal print in here."

"...So you're the C3PO of the group..."

"What's a C3PO?"

"A guy. Just write the paper."

"From whaaaaaat? I don't know anything about this stuff!"

I groan. "Dude, don't let a half-blind chick write it."

"Well at least tell ME how to write it!"

"'We, the citizens of the Mall, hereby appoint Saltaria Crane as sovereign Queen of a constitutional monarchy.'"

Various typing noises are heard, and his screen lights up with text.

"Saltaria....Crane.........monarchy...with Baron Green at her side. Anything else?"

"Waffles N. Bacon is banished from the Mall for crimes against humanity."

"Waffles......mmm, Waffles....banished.....crimes...what exactly did he do?"

"Be terrible."

"...okay. That's it? Sign here?"

I sign the paper.

"Okay, forge the rest and I'm queen."

"And I'M a Baron! Woo!"

He begins printing out with various names, including Marcel, Trilby, Joe, Green, and Salt, all written according to their personalities that he gathered. If they had actual signatures, it'd be much better.

I tackle Green to the ground, take the printed documents and tear them up.
"Nope."

you roll a 2. 2 as in i give 2 shits you where successful in your mission to rip up those papers. go you.

"Woo!"
I do a victory dance over the torn up papers.
"Take that, never to be Queen! Also I'm sorry Green, sorry that we ignored you. I'll be your friend, cool robot guy thing."
I then run away for safety purposes.

"Salt, if you want to be Queen, you have to prove you're responsible enough to deal with our bullshit."

"Considering I never owned a bag of faces, I like to think I'm one of the more qualified for that."

"Not being a sociopathic serial killer doesn't mean you're responsible enough to run a monarchy."

Suddenly, I re-awaken and notice a bunch of torn papers on the floor. I pick it up and try to read the message that was on it:

We, the citizens of the Mall, hereby appoint Saltaria Crane as sovereign Queen of a constitutional monarchy

I start laughing my ass off.

I go steal a bunch more iMacs and start crafting stuff until I make something somewhat useful.

TrilbyWill:
I go steal a bunch more iMacs and start crafting stuff until I make something somewhat useful.

6; you end up smashing the iMacs together.

I get another pair of iMacs and try to make another Thing.

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