Mall Fight: The Earthventure - Epilogue: Here Comes The Flood [CLOSED, ENDED]

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I walk out of a maintenance closet next to Trilby holding a sheaf of leaflets.
"Okay so I found some jobs going. Theres an add out for two new workers at the Dominoes down the road, a newspaper round going from the newsagents next to the apartment, the local hospital needs two doctors and a Heart specialist, and a strip club called uuuh 'Black Star' needs five exotic dancers."
I look up at Trilby, Zombie and David.
"Personally I'd go for the stripper job but what are you guys thinking?

"Wait what? So where's like the nearest town or whatever?"

I yelp when Sigma appears.
"Uh... gimme the leaflets for Dominoes and the hospital. I'm sure I can bullshit my way into delivering pizza or something."

"Dude, there's an apartment complex like two hundred feet away. Sorta where I live."

I pass Trilby the leaflets.
"If you get it I have a motorbike you can use"
I stop to look into the window of Victoria's Secret.
"Hey do you think this place'll be guarded at night?"

"Sweet. And... probably not. Alarmed, maybe."
I head off to Dominoes.

"Listen I don't even remember who I am could you take me there? Also, in a forest?"

"...Okay, you have five seconds to back the fuck away before I kick you in the nuts."

I stay where I am. "Seriously I'm in a forest and there's a robot and a chimp and two weird people one of them's French and I don't know who or where I am or what I'm doing can you at least show me the way out of this forest?"

I place a sticky note with 'rob later' written on it onto the window and jog to catch up with Trilby.
"Black Star doesn't open until like nine so lets boince"

After much embellishing of my work experience, driving skills and love of pizza, I manage to get a shitty job.
I return to Sigma.
"Hey, I got the job. Where's this bike of yours?"

"You REALLY think I'm that stupid to let some creeper like you follow me into my house and probably molest me?"

"I never said anything about that necessarily just at least help me out of this forest!"

"Of course you wouldn't!"

"Why won;t you believe me? Look at me! I'm literally covered in rubble, my clothes are stuffed with, with, BOOKS? WHY THE FUCK AM I COVERED IN BOOKS? And all I have in my pockets is, wires, and wires?"

"...Keep at least two feet away and follow me."

"Give me a minute"
I walk into an Alley and return two minutes later wheeling a battered Honda. I wipe a few blood spots from the seat and gesture proudly.
"Here you go. Careful with the breaks they tend to uh not"

"Thank you so much."

I walk forward down the path, looking over my shoulder every few seconds to make sure nothing funny is going on.

Stepping away for a moment from the peanut butter mouth-man, the potential sexual deviant, and the talking scream-box on wheels, Reginald began observing the hungry-eyed human's interaction with the newcomer who most certainly had to be female. He wondered if there were as few of them as the current male-to-female ratio suggested, though it was entirely possible that he hadn't a right group of subjects to make a good call. The female, he observed, was obvious disapproving of whatever it was the male was proposing and Reginald couldn't help but find it amusing that the more disapproving she became, the more frantic the male reacted. He wondered if all interaction with the females of this species was as such.

I get on the bike and drive off to do honest work, like some kind of normal person.

I follow at the agreed distance, inspecting the books I appear to have constructed some kind of armour out of.

I take out my phone and dial the contact named 'Crane'.

"We're uh...coming up on it now. The apartment."

"Seems weird to build a block this close to, like, an actual forest."

"Seems weird for some asshole with the stupidest accent I've ever heard to wear some book armor to live in one."

It was a shame his time for observation was short-lived, and so with the pair walking off, he returned to the odd trio he had yet to even begin to understand.

"I don't live in it, I think. I didn't see anywhere a person could live. I woke up under a pile of rubble. Last thing I remember before that is, ... I can't place it, years ago. How old would you say I look?"

"You're like...19, maybe? You Brits are ageless to me."

"Nine? Where did this beard come from? When did I get so tall, and thin? And my hair?"

"Okay, look..." I scribble some notes on a scrap of paper and hand it to him. "They uh...they've got a halfway house down the way, maybe you can consult the psychiatric ward in town sometime?"

"Thank you again. I'd pay you back but, well..."

"Yeah, I'm sort of used to strangely dressed men following me home, me dismissing them, and then they mention something about payment."

"No look really, would any person in their right mind be like this?"

"You'd be surprised."

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