The Escapist Presents: MovieBob Reviews: Watchmen

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Sure it was great, to much nudity though.

I've told this to many people and they've always disagreed with me or called me silly names. Yeah this current generation of movies seems to be obsessed with nudity and sex, but that's what pornography's for, especially since in most theaters you've gotta be around 18 (maybe 17) to buy a ticket for an R-rated movie, let alone porn.

Y'know what's fantastic about the "waaghh!! They showed his penis!!!" business is that about 99.99% of the folks complaining have SEEN ONE every day of their freaking lives... you'd think they'd be used to them by now...

Seriously. It's not like there were extreme close ups or silly jokes about about Dr. Manhattan's nudity in the movie. It was all tasteful and natural. But I'm guessing that people that giggle at it are the same people that think erotic art is porn.

Seriously. It's not like there were extreme close ups or silly jokes about about Dr. Manhattan's nudity in the movie. It was all tasteful and natural. But I'm guessing that people that giggle at it are the same people that think erotic art is porn.

It wasn't his nudity I had a problem with. I think he was very well done overall.. But there's no denying the cheesyness of THAT sex scene. Especially when the rocket goes off *shudder*. I really loved the movie, but that kinda dented it for me. That and also how they didn't give the characters who weren't superheroes enough screen time (Rorschach's psychologist, the man who sells newspapers) so when the finale happened, it was kinda hard to feel anything for the citizens of new york because no connection was established.

I normally do not respond to movie reviews, but this one just got to me.
This movie was not spectacular. It was not important. It was not even all that good.
Here is what the Watchmen was:

It was too damn long with many slow areas that had me saying 'Get to the point!'
It did have a scene in it that was one half-step from porno. It was not needed (other than to push the adult envelope) nor did it further the plot.
It did have some very bad acting and poorly delivered lines (mostly the scenes with the Night Owl in them).
It did have one superhero in it: Rorschach. That was it.
It did have a gaggle of apathetic losers that we were supposed to care about and believe that people who don't care about anything would take the time to create elaborate disguises for themselves and then run around the streets fighting crime while crying 'Why are we doing this?' The very same question I was asking myself while watching this movie.
It did have an ending that had you asking 'What the hell was the point of all that?' Considering none of the characters had any real effect on the outcome. Well, except one and he died.
It did have a lot of overt political comments that did not serve the story or the plot (look for multiple shots of the Twin Towers, a horribly executed Nixon wearing an American Flag lapel pin, and a Ground Zero style rebuilding shot).

Let me put it to you straight: If you have always hated Super Heroes and have a deep rooted distrust of any establishment, go see this film. You will love it.
If not, be prepared to pay over $7 to see a nearly three hour movie with 1-1/2 hours of good content, all of it Rorschach.

Oh, and a lot of tedious shots of Doctor Manhattan's Blue Man Group. You will know what I mean when you see it.

It was decent. I enjoyed it, though the gore and violence and sex was rather over the top. The Blue Penis was rather understated if you ask me, but, sure he coulda used the super hero undies though. Bad song choice, and long, but I still found myself interested in watching it to the end. I was vaguely sad for the people in the end, due to my empathetic nature, but Without knowing anything about any person who didn't have a thing for costumes(or in jon's case, the lack-there-of) I wasn't all "NUUUUU!" about it.

Some people are way too judgemental... it was a rather fun movie, and When I was shocked that I didn't get what I expected to when walking into the theater, all I could do was laugh, and thats okay too.

Oh, the review, right. I dunno man, you kinda went and became a gushing fountain of, "GO SEE THIS MOVIE BEFORE I BEAT YOU WITH A COPY OF THE GRAPHIC NOVEL!" Not so much of a review as an advertisement.

WillSimplyBe has never read the graphic novel, and is glad he decided not to see Watchmen in the IMAX theaters because exploding people innards freak him right the fuck out.

I saw it once in a theater and once in IMAX, I love how it gets shorter with every viewing. I love the music selection mostly because they are songs that I actually know or heard of. Matthew Goode was spectacular. Jackie Earle Haley should definitely win either Best Actor or Best Supporting Actor. And if he isn't nominated, well then shit happens.

I really liked the comparrison with those other films towards the end, they did get a mixed reception on release but now are highly regarded, same for A Clockwork Orange and Blazing Saddles.

I really enjoyed the review, the start was hilarious.

Putting a penis on a big screen is a new idea.

No it isn't, actually. And I'm not referring to pornography, either. Full frontal male nudity goes as far back as 1977 in Equus. The people who oppose it are not moral in the slightest. They're just afraid of being gay. That's all there is to it.

Luv you Moviebob...

I liked the Watchmen too, but overall I felt it was fundamentally flawed due to the fetters of what constitutes an acceptable running time. I'll definitely see it again, but that will be the director's cut on Blu-Ray.

Totally agree. I'm very much looking forward to the Director's Cut of this movie. Anyone see Tales of the Black Freighter yet? Is it any good?


Yeah I get where you're getting at. All I have have to say is that Zack Synder sees awesome stuff in his own vision. His vision involves lots of over-the-top violence and exactly one long-ass sex scene. Mmmmmm

I'm glad that you read the novel as well.

It was all tasteful and natural.


I know you're talking about the movie, but that came to mind when you said that.

Oddly enough, High Quality loads faster and is smoother. So click it.

Couldn't agree more. loved the novel, loved the movie (even the changed end didn't hit as hard as i thought it would).
Fucking Masterpiece =]

Watchmen was alright. I wouldn't call it a masterpiece though. I can see why other people would enjoy it though. I just happend to like 300 a lot more.

[quote="Indigo_Dingo" post="6.100280.1561812"]
If you're not impressed by a free swinging 20 foot schlong advancing over the jungles of Vietnam, well then Sir, I salute you.

he was wearing a speedo thing

the movie was a masterpiece, it was truly epic, even if it was different from the comic

was actually happy to go see this movie by myself




i'd be happy to watch it again!

While I do admit that I did enjoy the film and the change of Ozymandias's master plan was possibly better than in the novel, I do think they went a little TOO over the top in some areas. Specifically, I think they overdid the sex scene and emphasized the violence a little too much. This is one area I think they could've been a little more faithful to the original material with. In the original, Laurie and Dan don't have sex on the couch, as was implied in the film, because Dan was impotent unless he was in costumed and such.

Rorschach's actor were fairly brilliant, too. He certainly has the most stage presence out of the group of actors there, however I think Laurie's actress could've done a little better in her scene on Mars. I'm a bad judge of acting ability, though, so please take that with a grain of salt.

I especially loved some of the details that got added to the film, such as the Silk Spectre poster in the Comedian's apartment, and the porous texture on Rorschach's mask. It's the little things like that which can help you understand characters and such.

I also don't see why people are going nuts about Dr. Manhattan's nudity. I didn't really notice it all that much, but I think I'm just one of those people who isn't bothered by casual nudity in films. Actually, I think it says something that people are more concerned about Dr. Manhattan's penis and not the times Laurie's breasts were onscreen in a far more sexual manner.

to those who say you must like the book to like the movie-

my father saw the movie without reading the book.
he absolutely loved it.

also, this review was hilarious, and the rant was good, i felt the insults were mostly deserved..
and i loved the part about the babies in the theatre- so fucking true.

i actually went to the midnight showing of this movie and i looked to my left and saw two kids who must have been about 5. those are still babies. and if you take your kid to a rated R movie in the middle of the night, you don't know what you're doing as a parent.
i'm sorry but really, it's like thinking everything animated is okay for your kids to watch.. it's retarded.

Ph0t0n1c Ph34r:

Wow you are such a fan of the novel you don't notice how poorly done the movie was.
Zack Snyder's inexperience in storytelling shines brightly in this film, the main plot constantly gets lost in all the back stories and over-the-top fight and sex scenes. Which worked with his over movies such as 300 simply because starting off there wasn't much substance besides the sex and violence. But doesn't work that well in watchmen since it distracts from what should be the driving force, the plot...

Film is not really a stand alone film, since it relies heavily on the novel to fill-in for what was cut out or what lack the time to fully be explained. Meaning the movie is for fans only, since people who have not read the book with leave the theaters highly confused (like my two friends I went to see the movie with)

The only reason people claim it is such a great movie is because of the rich source material and stunning visual effects. The common person I guess could be easily entertained by the eye candy and probably could kind of get a hint that the movie was suppose to be something greater then a normal superhero movie. And the fans are easily entertained by seeing some of the scenes from the novel depicted word for word.

The movie was a disappointment. The soundtrack was a terrible selection of random mismatched periodic songs. Everyone knew martial arts and had superhuman strength. You had characters and settings coming in with no introduction or explanation. I do see that the movie was trying to be as deep and moving as the book, but just comes off as a action movie with a little twist.

I think in the hands of another director or editor or someone, this film could have been successful in being a great adaptation and a stand alone film.

I have to agree with you on that. I had too explain the movie to my firend at least twice for them to understand the full plot.

Maybe you both just have stupid friends?
I never read the book, but you don't have to in order to see the issues that this movie deals with. It was those issues, and the way that people can relate to them that made this(and I assume the book) very, very good.
I can't blame you though, as the majority of the people populating the earth are idiotic. They look at face value and fail to see any underlying meaning unless it is spoon fed to them.

and on a side note:
This movie should be mandatory viewing!

also @ Ant200tl
By "Stand Alone Film"
He wasn't saying that this was a stand-alone film, but that it should be judged as one.

Okay... Can we give movie bob a special webby award just for being so damn awesome? I tried to be like him for 2 minutes and my brain hurts like it just told Artimis Fowl that there is no such thing as faries.
(Bad joke sorry ;))

Anyway, I aven't seen it yet, but MAN! do I have to now :P

I am so on the same page with MOVIEBOB (yes he gets CAPITALS because he deserves them). I think this movie frightens and confuses a lot of people and it is wonderful to finally see someone who gets it.
I would love to be proven wrong someday, but I think this will always be the greatest comic book movie ever made.

PS. I think a lot of people who hate it should watch it again in a few years. Trust me, some of you will be very surprised how age changes your perception.

Perhaps it was more of a case of me understanding it better having read the book? Hmm.

Saw it last saturday. Moviebob; Thank you. I would have missed this masterpiece if not for your recomendation. I salute you sir!

Russ Pitts:
MovieBob Reviews: Watchmen

MovieBob takes on the biggest super hero movie of the year - perhaps all time.

Watch Video

I must marry this man, he fucking nails it completely... he gets it, he knows movies, too bad the general public are fucking retarded

I lost intrest in this review after 44 seconds!

I agree with everything, great review.

Hmm more of a yay awesome movie rant than review but o well. Most of the consensus i've heard from family and friends is it's too long, and nothing like the ads(interesting study about their marketing that was skewed to make it look completely different (if you into that sorta thing))

I hear people saying O the blue penis shouldn't bother you, you see one all the time don't you. etc etc.
Well there is just some of us who would just rather not see it plain as that, I don't wanna see yours so why do I wanna see blue mans? Also the sex scene was a bit much IMHO and the story was just meh(for me).

I feel bad for Watchmen, everyone doesn't seem to like it for one reason or another. Typical moviegoers hate if because it wasn't some action flick like most Superhero movies, while comic book fans hate it because of all the details from the actual comic that the movie didn't include.

I liked it, at least, and Rorschach, especially!

I get that MB202, some of my freinds thinks it's gay. While others thought it was cool. I would say that both are wrong/right in there own way, but nevertheless if people like my sister Amber don't notice reviews like this, she'll never know which movie is good. To be honest I would'nt say people didn't like Watchmen, it was a comic from the 80's, and the people these days hav forgoten good works from the past, and considers the now is better, but as the few with common sense realize, the now wasn't that great. Plus there are more idiots & douchbags then intellecuals now these days, who don't understand the difference between a good film and a bad film. moviebob, your that intellecual who fully understands it all, and I thank you for making such in-depth reviews.

Kind of not about the actual review but you are like the only reviewer, critic I have ever seen (for both games and movies so far) that isn't either too hard on the movies or a Michael Bay loving douche bag who gives evrything thumbs up.

I totally agree.. with almost everything he says.

It's a great film, if you have read the book or know about Watchmen.

I don't, and neither did my girlfriend. She pretty much hated it and I was confused.

Don't get me wrong everything else he says is true, like the fact that all the characters have depth and are really well acted, I'm just saying it suffers from what I'd like to call the Harry Potter Syndrome, of having to get through so much that you just need to know what's going on.

If you don't believe me, here's an example: I have no idea if the watchmen are actually super-heroes of just vigilantes in costume. I am led to believe that they are just vigilantes in costume but last time I checked it wasn't fucking possible to catch a bullet...

Can't believe I killed this thread!!!


Makes some sense, still don't like that fact. It's like spoofing a spoof, just stupid ton do. I get that whoever(once again if you know help out) wrote Watchman in 1985 was trying to t(pr)each that to us he could have made it alittle better, maybe it's just the movie director's fault, Dr Manhattan is trying to be a serious character and his junk hanging around completely throws that out. It's just not good directing

Bob replied to you, but you seemed to miss it. Thats the point. I watched it with a bunch of mates, and we'd all be intently listening to Manhattan extrapolating on particle physics or the nuclear holocaust, then all of a sudden change of camera angle and we're getting full on shot of his tackle; all of us alternately giggling or cringing.

That is good directing. Instead of telling us "Dr Manhattan is awkward because he does not understand humans" in narration, Watchmen shows us that he is. Can you imagine what it would be like to actually talk to an energy being constantly displaying his gear? Could you take anything he said seriously? Probably not. So why should the movie try and make it different or water it down to stop "making you feel gay"?

it was boring

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