Zero Punctuation: Destiny 2

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Destiny 2

Yahtzee reviews Destiny 2

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So, the non repetitive texture was a thing that Yahtzee could explore for 5 Minutes while the rest of the game was a mixture of Borderlands and Halo?

And yeah, lootboxes ruin everything.

So does that mean Yathzee is going to hook up with Plague of Gripes, so they can stare at wall textures together and talk about what it implies to the story?

I've heard Destiny 2 is better then the first one. Unfortunately, it's still an online shooter thingy built around grinding and loot, which doesn't do anything for me. I tried liking it in Borderlands 2 and eventually realized I didn't really care.

Dalisclock:
I've heard Destiny 2 is better then the first one. Unfortunately, it's still an online shooter thingy built around grinding and loot, which doesn't do anything for me. I tried liking it in Borderlands 2 and eventually realized I didn't really care.

I gave Sci-Fi Operant Conditioning Chamber 1 a wide berth largely for the reasons you outlined, but S-F OCC 2 Electric Bo--- seems more tempting, what with the greater effort put into presentation and context early doors. I've not really played a conventional FPS for a good while, either.

My own stumbling block, however, is that these types of games retain their obscenely high prices for a veritable eternity, and it's also a full price release that also expects to extort the player for more money post-launch, so in terms of its value proposition it's not exactly appealing.

Dalisclock:
So does that mean Yathzee is going to hook up with Plague of Gripes, so they can stare at wall textures together and talk about what it implies to the story?

My ears got an erection from the thought of that.

Darth Rosenberg:
[quote="Dalisclock" post="6.1021113.24124777"]

My own stumbling block, however, is that these types of games retain their obscenely high prices for a veritable eternity, and it's also a full price release that also expects to extort the player for more money post-launch, so in terms of its value proposition it's not exactly appealing.

Not to mention the fact that they will probably release an updated version of the game about a year from not like they did with the first game.

Catfood220:

Darth Rosenberg:
[quote="Dalisclock" post="6.1021113.24124777"]

My own stumbling block, however, is that these types of games retain their obscenely high prices for a veritable eternity, and it's also a full price release that also expects to extort the player for more money post-launch, so in terms of its value proposition it's not exactly appealing.

Not to mention the fact that they will probably release an updated version of the game about a year from not like they did with the first game.

If you wait for the problem fixing expansion, you're missing on an oddly compelling aspect of Destiny.
There's a weird amount of fun that comes from complaining loudly about the piles of shit you voluntarily exposed yourself to.
Like Star Wars.

I thought Up Yours Publishers was something we were already doing ever since EA turned evil.
Or before that with ET being that game that gets the blame for killing Atari.

So Destiny 2 is the online version of FO4 (which all quests are paper thinly disguised variants of "Go to the place and shoot the lads")?

Wonder if Yahtzee is ever going to review Lost Legacy?

Really surprised he didn't mention the bullshit micro transactions.

Yahtzee finally called a game a Skinner Box. Who designed that thing, Bealzeboot, the Canadian Devil?

I am on board with anything called "Up yours Publishers."

demoman_chaos:
So Destiny 2 is the online version of FO4 (which all quests are paper thinly disguised variants of "Go to the place and shoot the lads")?

I mean, its an FPS, so yes. They don't even make a pretense that its not an FPS like Fallout did.

Its kind of like buying a platformer then being surprised that all problems are solved somehow by jumping from spot to spot.

I just don't get why there is a Destiny 2 in the first place. What happened to all the people who were really into Destiny, were in clans who raided and all that? Who makes a sequel to an MMO that came out only 2 years, 11 months, 3 weeks, 6 days ago? That's faster than a lot of single player sequels. I have a suspicion that Bungie didn't like how Destiny turned out and wanted to fix things in a hard reset kind of way while still rolling out the planned content, so they rolled out the planned content as planned. But Destiny 2 came out 16 days short of a year after Rise of Iron was released. Just how desperate was Bungie to slam that muthafuckin like button reset switch?

Great, a critic widely known for being stingy with his praise has just declared the plague on internet connections and game budgets known as megatextures to be the one positive feature of this year's most hyped game. Well, when weekly 50GB patches for 60GB games becomes the norm across the industry, we'll know who to blame I guess.

Saelune:

Dalisclock:
So does that mean Yathzee is going to hook up with Plague of Gripes, so they can stare at wall textures together and talk about what it implies to the story?

My ears got an erection from the thought of that.

I would spend time on that, honestly. I somehow watched the entire Plague plays Dark Souls(which is something like 50 hours long) because it was that interesting to hear him overanalyze the shit out everything to the point of insanity.

It was a lot more fun then the 10 hours of cut together cutscene of Final Fantasy XIII I watched. I paid nothing for that and I still felt ripped off somehow.

Dalisclock:
hook up with Plague of Gripes

Christ, that's the worst idea I've ever heard

So should I buy this or not? What's the down low?

KingsGambit:
So should I buy this or not? What's the down low?

If you like to stare at walls, then it's your game.

KingsGambit:
So should I buy this or not? What's the down low?

If you want a real answer and not one from a bunch of meme-ing Yahtzee wannabes, like those above you, here's a real answer:
It's got the tight gunplay of Halo combined with loot and shoot aspects of Borderlands, abilities and superpowers kinda similar to Overwatch, and some decent mechanical experiences in the form of raids and nightfall strikes and the like.
Though a large part of the game's appeal is how much the fun is amplified when you're playing with friends.
If you've got friends who will play it with you, it's easily one of the most fun games ever.
If you're gonna be playing solo, though, it may not strike a chord with you unless both Halo and Borderlands are enjoyable to you.

The bit about shooting lads had me rolling. Humorous and characteristic of the cookie cutter MMO, which this sounds to be.

Noyemi-K:

Dalisclock:
hook up with Plague of Gripes

Christ, that's the worst idea I've ever heard

I like those odds.

Destiny 2: Takes eveything you like about the first game, and locks it behind a paywall.

We salute you, unsung alien wall texture guy. May you find more valued employment with a more inspired industry.

Forcing you to gain 4 levels before accessing the next story mission? When I saw Destiny, I thought the big benefit to it would be that in an FPS, unlike RPGs, it is possible avoid nearly all damage if you are skilled enough at dodging and shooting, thus it would be possible to defeat bosses at lower levels if you wanted a challenge and eliminating the need for grind. Grind is something you want to remove or reduce, not focus on! We've learned nothing.

WhiteFangofWhoa:
Grind is something you want to remove or reduce, not focus on! We've learned nothing.

Ah, but you see, you're incorrect. Game devs have learned, mostly from the continued success of WoW, that focusing on grind is the way you can get players to keep playing (and buying) the same game forever. CoD, Battlefield, and The Sims have managed to master this formula with endless sequels. Destiny is the attempt to create the unholy offspring of both: MMO grind and endless low-effort sequels.

On a different note, I've gotta say that Yahtzee's crack at Cayde-6 was on point. I've never played Destiny 1 or 2 and never intend to, MMOs of any stripe can go take a flying leap for all I care, but I have been watching lots of reviews and analyses, mostly for schadenfreude. But any time a clip is played involving Nathan Fillion's character, I have to cringe. Now, I like every other nerd love Nathan Fillion, don't get me wrong, it's just that he's so out of place in this, trying frantically to brighten up the tone of what is in all other aspects a stubbornly poe-faced experience. I get that comic relief is a thing, but you have to spread the comedy through more than just a single character's dialogue, and you don't borrow the comedy from a completely different genre of story than the one you're telling.

Every time he comes on, I can practically see the board-room meeting at Bungie, assuring the bean-counters that hey, if some players don't like our pillow-smotheringly melodramatic space-opera about the last survivors of humanity, then at least they'll like our funny robot. It's a trend I've seen popping up in a lot of games lately, this designation of a single funny character dropped into the middle of a soap-opera, and for me at least, one is always just distracting from the other. Either be a Klingon opera, or be a Joss Whedon snark-fest.

I played the first installment as a part of the Taken King bundle (I had also gotten the Destiny PS4 as part of that bundle, and that was really the only reason I had Destiny). I played for about 3 months, whereupon I became extremely bored and went off to try Elder Scrolls Online and Final Fantasy XIV (you know, some real MMOs that actually act like an MMO). In my time of playing Destiny, the key thing that I noticed is the complete and utter absence of any story that motivates any reason to do anything or provides any connection among all the various factions in the game. The single line in the game that best describes the plot and story of Destiny is this: "I don't have time to explain why I don't have time to explain." (I shit you not, the character known only as The Stranger tells you exactly that). At every stage in the game, about the most story you get is

"Guardian! There's some guys over here; we need you to go over there and shoot bullets at them."

"Why?"

"Don't know, don't care, just go shoot bullets at them."

From some of the streams of Destiny 2 I've watched, there actually is SOME story now actually in the game and motivation given to the main villain (as thin as it may be, at least it's IN THE DAMN GAME, FINALLY!). However, I saw that there were some gameplay breaking bugs in the game (as in repeat this raid for the 1000th time cause that bug happened again type of gameplay breaking bugs) and just plain bad AI behavior; also, some of the cheesy ways to just stun-lock bosses to death. Then I watched a youtube that summarized the plot and story of Destiny 2. All I can say is the Arizona crater has got nothing on the plot holes in this thing (but at least, it's actually in the damn game!). Oh, and the whole thing ends on a cliffhanger that is clearly designed to get you to buy the next expansions. And then there are micro-transactions...yeah...fuck you guys! I'm not buying this game.

I was willing to give Destiny 2 a chance, despite my experiences with the first game, because, at least at first, it sounded like Bungie was working to improve the game. The sad thing is, Destiny 2 IS an improvement over the first game (they give you an actual map of the terrain that you don't have to go back into orbit to use, from what I understand), but the first game was such a low bar that it's like saying getting a small pebble as a Christmas gift is an improvement over getting a wet sack-of-shit (an admittedly shiny, high-resolution wet sack-of-shit, but a wet sack-of-shit, nonetheless). In my opinion, it's still a case that the only positives in the game are great graphics (which, really, almost every game nowadays has, so that doesn't count for beans) and great gun mechanics. Other than that, there just isn't enough to warrant consideration, not even as a rental.

WhiteFangofWhoa:
Forcing you to gain 4 levels before accessing the next story mission? When I saw Destiny, I thought the big benefit to it would be that in an FPS, unlike RPGs, it is possible avoid nearly all damage if you are skilled enough at dodging and shooting, thus it would be possible to defeat bosses at lower levels if you wanted a challenge and eliminating the need for grind. Grind is something you want to remove or reduce, not focus on! We've learned nothing.

The magic word is nearly. Put that together with a boss that has a one-hit-kill attack and damage calculated by reference to level and you have the enforced grind.

RedRockRun:
I just don't get why there is a Destiny 2 in the first place. What happened to all the people who were really into Destiny, were in clans who raided and all that? Who makes a sequel to an MMO that came out only 2 years, 11 months, 3 weeks, 6 days ago? That's faster than a lot of single player sequels. I have a suspicion that Bungie didn't like how Destiny turned out and wanted to fix things in a hard reset kind of way while still rolling out the planned content, so they rolled out the planned content as planned. But Destiny 2 came out 16 days short of a year after Rise of Iron was released. Just how desperate was Bungie to slam that muthafuckin like button reset switch?

Does this mean that people dedicated to Destiny 1 will be dropped into a void? It's over?

Doesn't, for instance, World of Warcraft, just get patches for extra missions but that players never lose content they've already purchased?

Gorfias:

RedRockRun:
I just don't get why there is a Destiny 2 in the first place. What happened to all the people who were really into Destiny, were in clans who raided and all that? Who makes a sequel to an MMO that came out only 2 years, 11 months, 3 weeks, 6 days ago? That's faster than a lot of single player sequels. I have a suspicion that Bungie didn't like how Destiny turned out and wanted to fix things in a hard reset kind of way while still rolling out the planned content, so they rolled out the planned content as planned. But Destiny 2 came out 16 days short of a year after Rise of Iron was released. Just how desperate was Bungie to slam that muthafuckin like button reset switch?

Does this mean that people dedicated to Destiny 1 will be dropped into a void? It's over?

Doesn't, for instance, World of Warcraft, just get patches for extra missions but that players never lose content they've already purchased?

Short of rerunning stuff in Destiny 1 yes that ride is over. Everything is reset to square one character progress wise aside from a few nods to previous actions wise npc chatter and carried over emblems. And you don't even get that if you switch consoles or to PC because it's tied to the console specific accounts.

As a PC guy this aint a problem for me because they never released the original here but I can see it coming off as a kick in the dick to the old blood.

Cette:

Gorfias:

RedRockRun:
I just don't get why there is a Destiny 2 in the first place. What happened to all the people who were really into Destiny, were in clans who raided and all that? Who makes a sequel to an MMO that came out only 2 years, 11 months, 3 weeks, 6 days ago? That's faster than a lot of single player sequels. I have a suspicion that Bungie didn't like how Destiny turned out and wanted to fix things in a hard reset kind of way while still rolling out the planned content, so they rolled out the planned content as planned. But Destiny 2 came out 16 days short of a year after Rise of Iron was released. Just how desperate was Bungie to slam that muthafuckin like button reset switch?

Does this mean that people dedicated to Destiny 1 will be dropped into a void? It's over?

Doesn't, for instance, World of Warcraft, just get patches for extra missions but that players never lose content they've already purchased?

Short of rerunning stuff in Destiny 1 yes that ride is over. Everything is reset to square one character progress wise aside from a few nods to previous actions wise npc chatter and carried over emblems. And you don't even get that if you switch consoles or to PC because it's tied to the console specific accounts.

As a PC guy this aint a problem for me because they never released the original here but I can see it coming off as a kick in the dick to the old blood.

*grabs crotch, groans, falls to floor in fetal position* Well. Damn.

WhiteFangofWhoa:
Forcing you to gain 4 levels before accessing the next story mission?

I was kind of confused by this, to be honest. I've run the campaign twice now, the first time without bothering with any of the side stuff, and never had to grind levels nor ever had any problem with clearing a mission.

Overall Destiny 2 is significantly easier than Destiny 1 was, and Destiny 1 was not what you'd call a difficult game.

"up yours publishers" would be a great name for a review website too.

Klagermeister:

KingsGambit:
So should I buy this or not? What's the down low?

If you want a real answer and not one from a bunch of meme-ing Yahtzee wannabes, like those above you, here's a real answer:
It's got the tight gunplay of Halo combined with loot and shoot aspects of Borderlands, abilities and superpowers kinda similar to Overwatch, and some decent mechanical experiences in the form of raids and nightfall strikes and the like.
Though a large part of the game's appeal is how much the fun is amplified when you're playing with friends.
If you've got friends who will play it with you, it's easily one of the most fun games ever.
If you're gonna be playing solo, though, it may not strike a chord with you unless both Halo and Borderlands are enjoyable to you.

What if I don't want a real answer, but just want better memes?

Return of Jafar was the second one you imbecile!

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