Zero Punctuation: Resident Evil 5

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Judithia:

There are not enough hours in the day for that bullshit

Treblaine:

there are not enough hours in the day for your smelly farts!

Judithia:

So you say my farts smell? There are not enough hours in the day for your ugly face!

Treblaine:

Err, NO. Are you a troll or are you just an idiot who can't understand basic grammar?
I said there aren't enough hours in the day for your flat buttocks!

Judithia:

THERE AREN'T ENOUGH HOURS IN THE DAY FOR YOUR CHEESY BiSCUITS

Treblaine:

Cheesy biscuits??? CHEESY BISCUITS?!??! All I'm saying is racism is bullshit! There aren't enough hours in the day for ANY cheesy biscuits when there's SERIOUS BUSINESS to attend to!

Judithia:

Cool your jets, of course racism is bullshit, there aren't enough hours in the day for captain obvious here to point out every single flaw in our society!

Treblaine:

No you!

Judithia:

NO U

I think I smell some happy-slaps a-cookin'

300lb. Samoan:

Judithia:

There are not enough hours in the day for that bullshit

Treblaine:

there are not enough hours in the day for your smelly farts!

Judithia:

So say my farts smell? There are not enough hours in the day for your ugly face!

Treblaine:

Err, NO. Are you a troll or are you just an idiot who can't understand basic grammar?
I said there aren't enough hours in the day for your flat buttocks!

Judithia:

THERE AREN'T ENOUGH HOURS IN THE DAY FOR YOUR CHEESY BiSCUITS

Treblaine:

Cheesy biscuits??? CHEESY BISCUITS?!??! All I'm saying is racism is bullshit! There aren't enough hours in the day for ANY cheesy biscuits when there's SERIOUS BUSINESS to attend to!

Judithia:

Cool your jets, of course racism is bullshit, there aren't enough hours in the day for captain obvious here to point out every single flaw in our society!

Treblaine:

No you!

Judithia:

NO U

I think I smell some happy-slaps a-cookin'

I think this man is onto something :3

Judithia:
Seriously the people who quote Yahtzee's "jokes" and then comment about how funny it is, you are like that retard at the party or get together who keeps telling the same joke or line over and over while no one laughs then says it again in hopes that people just didn't hear you ( while every one looks away, coughs and starts up new conversations with people who aren't retarded. )

Rule #32 from "The Idiots Guide For The Complete Bitch". ROFL

I'm surprised that he didn't mention the major annoyance of the lack of movement when shooting?
I played the RE5 demo and was baffled as to how could they not allow movement when shooting your weapon?! i mean come on who the hell stands still when they shoot a gun or use any weapon for that matter. This is the main reason why the game is difficult in my opinion. I'd figured they would at least approve upon re4 by allowing you to move! it just doesn't make sense to me that after so many titles they didn't fix this.
i may end up not buying this one

Judithia:

Guess you better learn how to quote first.

First lets check out the scores for Resident evil 4, average of 9.6 out of 10 from 55 different review sites/magazines.

Whats this i see? not one mention of bad controllers in any of the 55 reviews! what a surprise.

Guess it must really suck, wouldn't have much tension either if you could just side step all those infected villagers..whats next you want regenerating health and a rock sound track to match all your other 'shooters'.

Well i guess if you can't comprehend something or rather ANYTHING different then IT SHOULDA BEEN DINOCRISIS HURRRR DURRR, then you will just have to miss out.

Oh by the way i love wasting your time because you are so honestly completely backwards retarded its funny :3

today you cant believe anymore these sites and magazines. they say to every game "its good". the same with crysis. all the sites and mags say its awesome blah blah and then you hear many complains about it. the same with RE 4. like you, they say its awesome and people like me who say its crap.

have you ever played RE 4 on the PC??? well, for the PC you like to use your mouse in a shooter. yes, i know, there is a mousepatch, but its useless. and before you say "yeah, PC is different", well, many who played it on the console dint like the game at all. also because of the controls, graphics, gameplay. they also say its the worst RE ever.
the mags said too, that the PC version is very good. even when they complained about the controls and graphic.

and i think you are completely backwards retarded. do you think all shooters have rock music and regenerating health??
ever played SWAT 3 or 4?

PS.
i liked RE but with part 4 they fucked it up.

Ghadente:
I'm surprised that he didn't mention the major annoyance of the lack of movement when shooting?
I played the RE5 demo and was baffled as to how could they not allow movement when shooting your weapon?! i mean come on who the hell stands still when they shoot a gun or use any weapon for that matter. This is the main reason why the game is difficult in my opinion. I'd figured they would at least approve upon re4 by allowing you to move! it just doesn't make sense to me that after so many titles they didn't fix this.
i may end up not buying this one

i strongly agree with you there. thats why i dont bother to buy it. i am sure even for the PC they wont change that.

One of the best reviews Yahtzee has done. I lol'd.

Mainly comlang about your sidekick, that bit was hilarous.

It's always best to watch Yahtzee's reviews when you've played the game yourself ^^
...Although I like Resident Evil 5. But it would've been great to play through the game alone, too, since it's a little bit more scary. Either way, Capcom focuses more on the panic instead of horror in RE5.

It's nice to play through the game with a friend, though!

Good video, though some people found the inventory system to bring a more tactical feel to the game.

Plus, wasn't the whole spear chucking, traditional clothes thing explained to be a part of Las Plagas? Something about the mind regressing to traditions and violence. Much like the Spanish peasants in the black robes in RE4.

Brockyman:
This is what I don't get. He talks about a "realistic depiction" of Africa, then gets mad about the "mud huts and villages". News Flash! They still have that stuff in Africa! There are still tribes of people living that way, and its not freaking racist! That would be like saying a level in an Amish Village would be racist against white people... Give me a freaking break!

Holy Cow, Res Evil in an Amish Village! Fucking awesome idea LOL.

"Now don't ye be fretting ye little head off thar Goody Shallowplot!"
"The divil with that... RAWR!"

That was some nice inventory xD!

I Don't agree with everything mentioned in the review. I was actually pleasantly surprized of Sheva's AI. I'm normally a "if it has to be done right, ill do it myself" gamer, so I was a bit worried seeing I had a sidekick from the start. But that quickly changed.

-Whenever either of us got low health, she used medicine. I ended up giving her all the medicine I found, since healing me is top priority for her if my health gets dangerously low. The itemization seems to alter with your inventory, so when your both low on health, the chances are high that youll find a herb in the next crate you smash. So I never had health problems on my first playthrough (on normal, mind you)

-She seemed to prefer the gun. What did I do? I upgraded hers to make her even better with it. While using all the bigger (fun) guns myself. Its easier to press the O button whenever I came across handgun ammo instead of hoarding it myself. When I wanted her to use the rifle, so I just exchanged her pistol for my rifle. easy.

-Wtf? shes taking mah shotgun ammo! oh! She gives it to me. thats cool. Also, if she has more of the ammo your using, she'll give you more once you get inventory space. (for example, your using up tons firing at a boss)

-She seems to handle herself well in fights. Shes a pretty good shot too. I had no problems letting her handle special weapons like the flamethrower and the aiming laser suring boss fights. I kept her in the cover stance mostly though, making her stay behind me most of the time. Wich is very good if your fighting a chainsaw majini or a reaper.

The inventory thing, well. I suppose each slot can be seen as a separate pocket. You wouldnt want your (extremely valuable) rotten egg to be crushed because you tried to stick a magnum with it, right? The armor taking a slot might represent the wearer being encumbered by it enough to have one less pocket free.

I'm a bit surprised that he didn't mention the shooting irritants of gameplay, namely you can't shoot while moving, but instead have to pivot and aim lie your toes are staked into the ground. Now forgive me for asking for Halo or COD like gameplay, but that's an annoyance. Besides, there were plenty of fixes for it. The more movement you have, the less accurate you are. I just think that in most games where things are chasing you, moving away from them sounds a bit like a priority, not an afterthought.

BrUS:
Either way, Capcom focuses more on the panic instead of horror in RE5.

I noticed the same in RE4. But yeah, if your dad walked in on you while your playing the beginning, he must think Chris just yelled the N-word in there.

WOOO but its not workin =[ ill find a way to make it work though!!

Hahaa. Side stepping a pot hole only to fall off a bridge. That's putting it perfectly.

i liked the original resident evil, its a shame to see theyre still trying to beat money out of what must surely be by now a dead horse after all these years

I found every argument valid. I miss the Merchant...

I was kinda hoping he'd tear Halo Wars a new one, but hey, I can get the idea if he never wants to touch that particular slop bucket hehe.

lol hilarious yet at the same time bad
4 resident evil was so bad ass
and RE5 is pretty fuckin bad ass too but damn its true nothin much to it is new
kinda just a remake of the forth with new actors and Yahtzee said

Avida:
Great review, but old jokes need to stay dead.

Are you referring to the hooker joke? If so, I thoroughly agree. On the other hand, that was the most humourous review in a while.

Atomsforpeace:

Avida:
Great review, but old jokes need to stay dead.

Are you referring to the hooker joke? If so, I thoroughly agree. On the other hand, that was the most humourous review in a while.

Ooooooh yes, theres a few minor things too, if theres no surprse his comedic style falls flat on its face _

Velios:
While I don't really care, I just want to point out that in Resident Evil Zero, 1, 2, and 3 you played a Caucasian lead killing other Caucasians, in Resident Evil 5 you play a Caucasian killing coloured. Not really the same thing there.

"You're carrying your armour in the pocket of your armour!"
Haha didn't even think about it that way! I've gone through the game on all difficulties and never bought armour though, just saw it as a waste of space...

But you can play an African girl killing African people....how is that different? I don't care how dark her skin is or how light Chris skin color is.

If you sit here complaining about racism that "Oh boo hoo I am shooting people that are not white." Tell you what, let's make Resident Evil 6: The Melting pot effect.

Velios, I think you are racist because of you think a game is racist just because of the skin color and not the fact that "Hey, they are trying to kill us." People who claim racism are racist themselves. It happens every time. How many time do you see a black man claim white people are racist yet call a white man "Cracker" or "whitey"

Also yes this game was made by the Japanese, but what difference does this make?

This is why I hate society today...in fact this is why I hate humanity period. You human are so stupid and close-minded that everything is either sexual or political.

Ishinken:

What I meant with FOR REAL is that it made it bloom. So what if they were not first, they made it INTERESTING and popularized. The battles were fine, boss battles that is. The only thing that sucks in the game is the companion AI and the fact they had to "kill" Wesker and that he mutates into a monster.

Many complain on inventories but sucks to be you then because I havent got that huge issues with it. Sure you have to bring herbs to your partner sometime to mix them, and an egg takes as much space as a weapon. But then again, if you dont want the eggs why dont you just skip picking them up? And you can discard them/eat them to make the slot available again. It just brings item management into the game. It was stupid in RE4 the way you had to spend minutes in your inventory to puzzle your items to make them fit... now its more simple, that is if you actually understand you have to work with the inventory more than once per 10 minutes.

Actually the game that "popularized" quick time events was God of War, hence the expression "a la god of war" whenever someone discusses quick time events not "a la Resident evil 4".

And who gives a shiz about the inventory, in my case I used the inventory not quite a lot and the times I used it I didn't mind it because we organized as best we could, the only problem was when soloing the campaign but that's not the real issue.

The issue is the game itself, the bosses are a joke even in veteran, and the boss fight at the end with "Mutant Wesker"is finished in one single event involving "context sensitive" button presses and that's it. The horror factor is completely gone, there is never one time in the game in which you jump in your seat nor is there tension enough in the atmosphere of the whole game to make you feel what past RE tittles, included RE4 at times, used to put you through. It's an all out third person action game and in that sense, there are better action games out there than this one with far better controls.

Amazing, while i laugh my head off every ZP but i had noticed it getting slow a few weeks back but later it has been literally better than ever

LordSnakeEyes:

Indigo_Dingo:

Judithia:

Indigo_Dingo:

Judithia:

So you didn't enjoy

Killzone 2
Madworld
Persona 4
Skate 2

Whats not to like about Street Fighter IV?

Whats to like about it? No, I didn't like Killzone 2 or Skate 2, My Ps2 died on me and I need a new one, and Madworld sounded kind of bland the day SCE Studios Santa Monica told me of their Zipper technology, and no-ones been able to tell me a strength beyond the gore.

Strengths include being the only good beat 'em up since god hand.

That and a great stylized art direction.

There are heaps of games that are good, stop trying so hard to hate them all.

I'm not - I said I've really enjoyed Flower, Savage Moon and Noby Noby Boy. My highlights from last year include MGS4, Resistance 2, Valkyria Chronicles and LittleBigPlanet. I just haven't found anything released in disc form that I especially liked since January 1st.

And I'm not exactly weaping with joy over the next big beat-em-up. I'm more into a pair of good ol' blades, attached to the most awesome character in gaming ever, and some of the best gameplay, level design, mechanics and just all around godliness ever seen.

Wow... You sound like you're waiting for God Of War 3.

No shit, so is every other gamer.

I liked the crab

I found a way to get around the "Sheva uses nothing but the handgun" problem.

Hold O, then press up to make Chris yell "Go!" and Sheva will go in Attack mode (oposite of Cover)

She will equip her most powerful weapon. I gave her a machine gun and a rifle, she only used the machine gun indoors and in close quarters, rifle against distant enemies. I decided to stand back a bit and take potshots with the upgraded handgun i'd normally let Sheva use.

She wont follow you around however, and I noticed alot of enemies will tend to come after her. I got pretty nervous when I fought the first chainsaw majini, but she backed off well enough to not get her head sawn off, with me chasing them unloading my shotgun in his back. Youre gonna have to make sure you got some medicine on you, since she will most likely not be able to help you out fast enough when your health is critical. And exchaning items will be a bit bothersome at times since she wont stay close to you most of them time. tapping O once will call her back to you but put her back in cover mode.

Ghadente:
I'm surprised that he didn't mention the major annoyance of the lack of movement when shooting?

Because it's not annoying and neither a problem in the game, unless you're used to play mostly FPSes and the likes.

ElTigreNegro:

Ghadente:
I'm surprised that he didn't mention the major annoyance of the lack of movement when shooting?

Because it's not annoying and neither a problem in the game, unless you're used to play mostly FPSes and the likes.

are you kidding? how is not being able to move not a problem? yes its not impossible to play with "pivot-action shooting" but come on things are suppose to improve, and not just graphics.
With hordes of enemies charging at you and the focus is survival, controlling your character should not be this limited. I'm not looking for an FPS, but this is rediculous.
Don't get me wrong, i don't think the game is bad in an overall sense, but its certianly disappointing.

Let's see, there was a pistol, switchblade, Nintendo DS, a Creme Egg, Branston Pickle, Bean-o Lottery Card, some weird mannequin chess piece, that Gun Shop Telephone Booth from the Far Cry 2 review, and a.... "unmentionable woman's joy." Nice.

Eipok Kruden:

Blank__:
It's "Cliff's Notes."

Who is this "Cliff" and why does he have notes? He doesn't exist which means he can't have notes. Yahtzee is correct. It's "cliff notes," not "Cliff's Notes." Stop trying to be smart and correcting people because you suck at it.

http://www.cliffsnotes.com/WileyCDA/
Cliffs Notes.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/CliffsNotes

Stop trying to be smart and correcting people because you suck at it.

James Cassidy:

Velios:
While I don't really care, I just want to point out that in Resident Evil Zero, 1, 2, and 3 you played a Caucasian lead killing other Caucasians, in Resident Evil 5 you play a Caucasian killing coloured. Not really the same thing there.

"You're carrying your armour in the pocket of your armour!"
Haha didn't even think about it that way! I've gone through the game on all difficulties and never bought armour though, just saw it as a waste of space...

But you can play an African girl killing African people....how is that different? I don't care how dark her skin is or how light Chris skin color is.

If you sit here complaining about racism that "Oh boo hoo I am shooting people that are not white." Tell you what, let's make Resident Evil 6: The Melting pot effect.

Velios, I think you are racist because of you think a game is racist just because of the skin color and not the fact that "Hey, they are trying to kill us." People who claim racism are racist themselves. It happens every time. How many time do you see a black man claim white people are racist yet call a white man "Cracker" or "whitey"

Also yes this game was made by the Japanese, but what difference does this make?

This is why I hate society today...in fact this is why I hate humanity period. You human are so stupid and close-minded that everything is either sexual or political.

I never said the game was racist, nor do I think it is. I was pointing out that there is a difference in complaining that in the previous games you were killing Caucasians... with a Caucasian and people complaining about killing coloured people with a Caucasian. I bear no ill thoughts towards this game(except for the laughable partner AI), nor towards Capcom who I enjoy their games.

I played the whole game my first two times through with an online friend. No quirks about co-op and the buddy system but yeah, inventory is lame. Mercenaries is a hoot with someone you know.

Spot on review. My favourite in a long time. Nailed the game on its hail... Also, on a somewhat related note I'd love to nail that triple cu-(white noise)

I haven't played it yet because I'm poor and can't afford a PS3 (sony fanboy here flame later). I never thought i would ever hear someone wanting ashley around for ANYTHING. Good to know they took every nice thing about RE4 and got rid of it. Personally I think real-time management is not a great thing other than programming a d-pad for weapon switches. Inventory should not be done with 55 quote unquote zombies having at ur shins. Also, I'm sad about eggs being the same size as assault rifles. Lots of laughs in this one though, see you next wednesday. :D

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