Zero Punctuation: Resident Evil 5

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bennbenn:
WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
this has been edited!!!!!!!!!
where is the really funny joke at the very end of the review about them being useless Nig...
that was hysterical - why was it removed?????
please tell me why...

...Wasn't that from the previous week or did they reuse that joke?

Anyway, I had heard earlier that this was gonna be just a dumbed down version of RE4. Looks like that's exactly what it was...

i beat re5 in 3 days it was a easey game I reccomend it

I'm surprised how he didn't bring up the gunner zombies towards the end of the game. I hate them. They essentially turned the rest of the game into Gears of War.

argh the item system is so irritating

Shaeam:
Hahaha "Carrying your armor in a pocket of your armor"

Time paradox'd. :D

Great Review, i just played the game a moment ago. You really should have mentioned that you have to stand still to Shoot, that's just Bullshit. Oh and the Inventory system really is a headache, I knew it would be bad from the way you described it but man actually having to use really sucks balls.

No mention of your girlfriend having her clitoris cut off? Yahtzee, I'm disappointed in you...

Good review; I checked it out, the item system is horrible.

Perhaps the worst ZP ever.

The reasons?

-The triple-cunted hooker just got old
-Not a single mention about quicktime events or the fact that RE5 has now and then been mentioned in the episodes since the very first one (not counting the ones on youtube)
-Apparently Yahtzee is suffering from dementia, because he has forgotten that it isn't funny at all when he says he loves a game
-All that blabber about RE4 being "loved, intuitive, wicky, creative" and a shitload of other stuff that this video could have very well been without
-Far too much shouting ("OH DEAR", "your SIDEKICK", "FUCKING UNINTUITIVE", "FUCKING PISTOL" etc.)
-the ending was far too bland and completely predictable

[/edit]Aaahh, flaming fanboy replies :D

Perhaps the worst reply to a ZP ever.

The reasons?

1) Written several weeks after the fact
2) No-one gives a hoot
3) You don't review, if you can do a better job then bloody do it
4) The more you whine about the Cerberus of vaginas the more Yathzee will use it you gimboid
5) LIVE WITH IT

and now back to our normal programming.

bartholen:
-All that bullshit about RE4 being "loved, intuitive, wicky, creative" and a shitload of other stuff that this video could have very well been without

What?

I loved this game, beat it and everything, but....I somehow miss the old style. I'm not scared by the game anymore. Most of this game wasn't even that creepy, it was more of shock than anything. The series went from "Gulp what's going to happen now....AHH" to "Wow that's a cool looking monster...."

I admit the QTE kind of have the scare effect, but again, it's more of a surprise shock than scary.

i know, i hate the armor and inventory crap (though it did make the mercs quite easy with the combine reloads)

so i went out and bought RE 4, and i was like O.O

Indeed, what the hell did happen to the pirate merchant guy, he was one of my favorite characters!

EDIT: To hell with it, he was my favorite character, PERIOD.

I have to kind of disagree with Yarz on this one. I'm play the game atm and it's pretty good fun. Graphically it looks superb. Managing the girl is part of the game dynamics- take the pistol away from her and she quite happily hands over the ammo for it. She's been quite useful I've found- she hasn't been that over-zealous in healing me too soon either. The inventories are too small and quirky but one can restart and micro-manage them especially if you know what's coming. I have too many games to play (I just play on normal nowadays to get through them) but I'll definitely be going back and doing this one on hard.

Sure, it's not as good as RE4 BUT it's still a good game nonetheless.

When I was watching this and Yahtzee made his comments I had a few thoughts
And here is my reason, how dark-skinned do you have to be before you can be counted as African?
And now that I've rewatched it, I can say that he's pretty sexist too, "Sheva feels like she has to be equal to the men"?

On another note, it wasn't too hard to get through the game, all I did was give myself the 'blow everything away guns' and Sheva the 'small ammo in large quantities guns' wasn't too hard to work around, and I found Sheva to be really helpful at most points throughout the game.

Of course everyone has their own opinions and are entitled to them, I just felt like speaking my mind is all.

bennbenn:
WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
this has been edited!!!!!!!!!
where is the really funny joke at the very end of the review about them being useless Nig...
that was hysterical - why was it removed?????
please tell me why...

That was his Blood on the Sand review.

Thanks Vanguard

Capcom are the Jade Goodey of game producers! Not evil/racist...just idiots, nice

Top notch review, stitches as ever :O)

Oh I agree...it's odd to see her simply give off u'r hard earned medical items and heal u when u only lost 2/4th of ur health lol. I also admit...why did they include the tribal people? Their blue! ._. maybe they didn't want them to be normal or it be racist good call!

Thanks so much for ur videos, I enjoy them fully

Sheva would've been more useful if she was the triple cunted hooker...

and she had sex with you at the end of each level...

for free

and yes RE has lost that survival horror feel and gone into that rabid schizophrenic gaming style where the player cant go for 2 minutes without having to kill something

and yes the game play seems like it has been reworked so that you could only have one arm and legally blind without glasses and your only pair was recently stepped on by your roommate and can still beat the game with minimal problems

your very first attempt at playing it IE starting from scratch penniless and with just a handgun is rather fulfilling for the first few levels till you reach the point where you guns can hold enough bullets for you to empty a clip pick up all the shell casings and make a working model of the gun by melting them down and pouring them into the appropriate moulds and putting it together

after finishing the game you do play through it again on increasing difficulties till you beat it on all of them then its grinding the caves till you have enough gold to buy every gun fully max it then buy the guns you unlock by doing that and fully maxing them and still having enough left over to buy the region of africa where you just spent time slaughtering everyone that you saw

i thoroughly enjoyed playing RE4 though i still have yet to actually beat it granted it is rather annoying breaking the action to put away my pistol and take out my shotgun because a swarm of giant insects flew up from a hole in the ground and Don Juarez dropped to the least threatening thing on my screen i didnt mind it because it was an acceptable inventory screen even though it brought up the question of where in the fuck is Leon carrying the case of he's using both hands to aim

RE5 is a severely dumbed down version of RE4 while the new inventory screen must have seemed like a good idea during development in retrospect its annoying the fact that you absolutely need to limit yourself to 3 types of guns at the most and doing so will severely impair your carrying healing items because youll be using 6 spaces for guns and ammo meaning you'll have to carry eggs around for healing since they stack while leaving you incapable of healing your partner if they have a lapse of brain functionality and charge into the horde or are using a shotgun since the damn things stop being effective past 15 feet
in 4 i was faced with the dillema of having a shotgun the red9 and stock the semi rifle and scope and the broken butterfly those are 4 guns id be using for the rest of the game i also had an rpg that i was saving for a boss fight that took 4 chapters too long to come up to so i was rather limited on space between the few rounds of ammo that didnt make it inside one of my guns and finding a green herb every 7 feet because a group of psychopathic morningstar wielding cult priests dropped 4 of them so i had to combine the green herbs so i could pick up more items but while doing this i was in no real danger because of the pausing while your doing management while most of the deaths incurred in RE5 are due to having to heal yourself while a horde of 37 yelling black people come charging at you throwing gardening equipment instead of ashley getting picked up by an el gigante and crushed to death

the most enjoyable part of RE5 are the "Press X to kill this MOFO" actions you can do after shooting them in the head or knee then the thoroughly satisfying finisher if theyre still alive when you boot stomp them as wesker my favorite would have to be shevas cut throat kill move

all in all RE5 just looks like it was a half-assed attempt to make sure fanboys had another game to play instead of trying that unupgraded starting pistol only run of RE4 (which seems like it wouldnt be too difficult since youd only find handgun ammo and herbs with the occasional grenade)

and the herbs dont stack because if they did combining them would even harder

PS what was the plot? ive played through the entire game and the closest thing that i saw to a plot was "I ams Wesker and i ams still teh badguy rawr" but i guess you dont need a plot when the game is "heres a Gatling gun and theres a horde for you to kill... im sure youll hit something eventually"

Ya know, I just got this game a few days ago and have almost no problems with Sheva. I think, and no offense, that Yahtzee didn't read the book that came with the game, cause I figured out pretty quick that if I held B and told Sheva to attack, she wouldn't try to heal me unless I was close to dieing, and she'd use her best weapon at the time. Fun times were had by all.

Wow, I'm quite surprised that I whole heartedly agree with the fact that it is annoying when you need Shera's help and she's off in her own fun land going "I can't right now." "Just a minute" or "You must be joking!" No I am not joking, get over here and help! Yargh! That got annoying after a couple of times, and the fact that you have to use a slot for armor was annoying too. So Yahtzee hit exactly on my topics. However, I'm such a Resident Evil lover that I just bloody didn't care. I love the game even though I have only got half-way through it so far, I am still as addicted to it as I would have ever been.

Striker Vulsine:
Ya know, I just got this game a few days ago and have almost no problems with Sheva. I think, and no offense, that Yahtzee didn't read the book that came with the game, cause I figured out pretty quick that if I held B and told Sheva to attack, she wouldn't try to heal me unless I was close to dieing, and she'd use her best weapon at the time. Fun times were had by all.

Yes I agree with this.

I thought Sheva's AI was done quite well.

Yes, I know AI isn't the proper term.

sheva needs to die. I gave her an infinant (however you spell it) ammo S&W and she was using a freakin 92fs that she for some reason has. She is now my storage device for First aid spray. And has a magnum...

"Indeed you are powerful as the emperor has foreseen."

what is it about game developers nowadays. why do they make a really f*cking good game then have to p*ss on it with one that is terrible. yep the idea troth certainly was empty when it came for resident evil 5's din-dins.

amazing review yahtz

actually i think you're thinking of the 50 cent blood in the sand review that was the one

l

RE4 is simply better.
screw co-op. its RESIDENT EVIL!

wait, what did hapen to that merchant guy?

Sheva was a bit of an idiot but I still much preferred this over RE4

i would have liked co-op to have been an additional mode rather than it being forced i liked re4 for it being simply a better game(more guns, levels, bosses ect) the inventory in re5 was a bitch especially on pc which is odd.

laikenf:

stiver:
Resident Evil 2 is still the best game in the series.

And the scaryest.

I have to disagree with both of those comments. I thought that RE4 was the best for it's better controls, humour that was actually intentional, it's upgrade feature and for cutting out almost all of the backtracking that made RE1 (the remake) a personal nightmare of mine.

I also rank as the scariest. Don't get me wrong games like RE3 started out pretty scary having you wander around a deserted city by day listening to the moans of the undead from afar and code veronica had some between-room sequences with a heartbeat sound effect that was pretty creepy (but ruined by the incredibly annoying and offensive character of Alfred Ashford AKA: Walking British Stereotype.

What makes RE4 the scariest for me is the castle stage. It is absolutely chilling from the beginning. The whispers of the illuminados, the bug monsters, the gothic setting and characters (especially the Garador monster) all make me feel like I'm in a cheesy cult horror film and yet still manages to creep me out immensely.

Grr the original was never called Resident Evil 1 and NEVER will be.

Funniest review yet, i had to stop watching when the he mentioned the armor 'paradox' thing because i couldnt breathe

i laughed so hard on the running away in fear of the one trying to heal you because that's what happens every time you give an npc health items in any game also after playing re5 for a day i ran screaming back to play re4 for the third time so i could buy even more stuff for my massive metal case

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