Zero Punctuation: Resident Evil 5

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I've been wonder why Yahtzee didn't say anything about the awesome graphics.
Or maybe a little part on how fucking bullshit the controls are, and how you cant move and shoot/knife.

I cant play this game for long periods of time without getting pissed at the game design/controls.

The way you set sheva to use her better weapons was holding B and pressing up on the d pad to switch her to attack rather than cover. How anyone was supposed to intuitively know this was beyond me though.

Great review as always.

Huh, my little brother was playing the game a few weeks ago and kept complaining about the partner, too. I will admit, she used a LOT of healing items on him...

I think this is the first ZP review which I have agreed with every point. Bravo, Mr Yahtzee :)

You hit the nail on the head. I also think RES 5 takes itself way too seriously; RES 4 had the shooting galleries, the merchant, and the characters were almost parodies of genre clichés.

I was all set to complain about Yahtzee's increasing over-reliance on tired old tropes (sound familiar? It should if you've played Resident Evil), the main difference between Yahtzee and Capcom being that Yahtzee's tired old tropes WORK.

Great review, man. Laughed all the way through. :)

Ishinken:
Haha oh Yahtzee he seriously can't dislike RE that much. Original RE games (that is before RE4) are all masterpieces in their own rights. #1, the game that started the survival horror genre FOR REAL. 2, a super nice sequel with a much more thoughened up gameplay quality and experience with alternate routes in the story line making it last ALOT longer! RE3 was the one that offered the least IMO because it was just a lesser version of RE2, but it still had nice end-game modes to battle it out on! RE4 really changed the genre and made it into a more action oriented game which launched the context sensitive battle moves for real. Then everyone started copying it to hell! RE deserves so much respect as one of the absolutely best gaming genres ever in gaming history. And RE5 is basicly RE4, but better. In most ways anyways. The co-op gameplay is absolutely fantastic and reminds me why gaming is so good in the first place, to play with your buddies! And finally, since in what seemed forever, we finally had another game with the possibility to play through it with a IRL friend again! Then mercenaries mode which could be a game in its own rights. And then the upcoming vs modes... RE5, game of the year 2009, and the demo game of the year 2008!

The truth is all that you've said is false. Alone in the Dark started the Survival Horror genre FOR REAL as you said, Resident Evil came as competition that just simply had a bigger boom. And the context sensitive battles? Ohhhh you mean Quick Time Events, that's the term you're looking for, they were invented back in 1999 in the game Shenmue, that's where it all started. And no, RE5 is not RE4 better, all the opposite in fact. It's shorter, annoying and it has the easiest boss battles and the most unsatisfying ending since Karate Kid for the NES. Can't believe how much of a joke the end game battles are. It's not scary, it's frustrating and halfway into chapter 5 you're wishing it's over and done with. Maybe my view on this also comes from the fact that I stood from 6:00 pm to 9:30 am playing this game with a friend and we're both trying to forget this dreadful experience.

This is the best review to date.

Reeper0278:
Carrying armor in the pocket of your armor
ROFL

Exactly what I felt.

Funniest one in a month or so. You didn't so much hit head on the nail of the hammer at the end, as skullfuck the hammer. I truly believe Capcom wasn't be intentionally racist, they're just, well, not very smart. It often feels like they were trying to make "Black Hawk Down: The Game (with zombies [that aren't technically zombies])", even down to the soundtrack.

hahah one of my favorite one's so far.

well done!!!

SimuLord:
I was all set to complain about Yahtzee's increasing over-reliance on tired old tropes (sound familiar? It should if you've played Resident Evil), the main difference between Yahtzee and Capcom being that Yahtzee's tired old tropes WORK.

QFT.

Still, though, can you lay of the triple-cunted hookers, please?

Here's a thing. Picture a poor clueless newb stumbling into a forum and happily posting something like "I just played this game called Final Fantasy VII and I really liked it! Are there really six others? Do they have Sephiroth in them? I loved him, he was awesome!". He's new. He doesn't *know* the topic that he just discovered last week has been discussed for years. People have very strong opinions about it. Other people have equally strong, *opposing* opinions about it. Flamewars have raged for months. Friendships were broken forever. It is a fucking touchy subject. The post is not unlike stirring up an angry hornet's nest, assuming it doesn't get ignored as a troll in the first place.

Usually by the time you manage to explain all this to the newb, he tries to defend himself with "Well I didn't *know*, geez. Lay off already." You know what? No. No, the entire fucking population is not going to magically forget all the baggage attached to the topic just because you're a delicate little flower who couldn't spend five fucking minutes with an FAQ. If you come late to the party and start spouting obviously ignorant shit, you're going to get your ass toasted.

And the same applies even moreso if you get into a topic that actually has real fucking relevance, like racism. And ten times as much if you're a large gaming company instead of a random shlub with a keyboard and modem.

So no, "lol we didnt mean to be racist" is not a fucking defense, Capcom.

LMFAOLMFAO

OMG the last line he said it SO Slow that i had to rewind in order to understand what he said !!!!

Meh, I like the game, the AI isn't the best, but it isn't as bad as Yahtzee bitches about... And the inventory system isn't bad at all, it is much quicker and easier to use without making the game piss easy... like in 4... and there is no infuriating tetris minigame to play when you purchase a new gun...

LMAO fantastic review. I agree wholeheartedly about the AI for Sheva, I also let her carry the machine guns only to have her use the pistol.

Runnning away from your partner bit, funny as hell

I guess I'm not the only one who's upset over the removal of the inventory grid from the previous game (RE4). While it may seem "metagame"y, I thought the attache case was more logical in depicting space than just random slots, not to mention more manageable.

Not to forget that discarded items in RE5, unlike 4, disappear for good.

it's octopodes not octopi.

I have the game but have been playing other things mostly.

I will say that I don't think Capcom are "idiots" really, they are oddly one of my favorite development houses. Resdident Evil was supposed to be kind of goofy. Also I honestly do not see what the problem is with showing Africa as Africa. I guess it's not poliically correct, but has nobody that talks about this game bothered to look at a National Geographic? Mud Huts, Loincloths, Spears, etc... it's all accurate to some parts of Africa just as the town at the beginning is. I mean cripes, I thought all kids were supposed to look at this stuff in old issues of National Geographic for the bare boobies of the primitive women. :P

Also if you watch much "strange but true" stuff on TV, there are still tribes out in Africa that do things like insert increasingly large discs into their lips to extend their mouths to ridiculous proportions, or put metal rings around their necks to extend their head up like a giraffe.

So really, I fail to see the whole point. About the only complaint is that they didn't have the protaganists visit any of the rare bastions of un-impoverished civilization in the region with tons of tourists and safari tours and all that stuff. Still it was accurate to probably like 99% of the region taken as a whole, the guys in mud huts aren't everywhere, but they most assuredly are down there.

-

Otherwise Yahtzee is correct on like 99% of what he said, and even the bit I disagreed with him on was still funny. From a game design perspective Resident Evil 5 needed a lot of work, Sheva is just kind of borked, and while I understand the logic of the inventory management (to make the game more challenging by limiting what you can carry) it struck me as being a bit of a pain.

The problem is that they sort of turned Resident Evil into a shooter franchise, and honestly I'm kind of cool with that, since it makes sense as an evolution to the events in the series where the protaganists aren't helpless/shocked/out of their league anymore since this stuff is getting to be old hat to them. BUT if they are going to make the game a bloody shooter, why do they need to use draconian inventory of a sort designed for a whole differant style of gameplay. It worked in earlier Resident Evil games where you were supposed to be like avoiding the monsters and such, and carrying key items at the expense of vital supplies was part of the deadly charm. But when your like fighting 50 guys at the same time like in an 80s action movie, I expect to carry unrealistic amounts of armament in response to the unrealistic odds. :P

Why didn't you do more anti-racism-ness, I mean, I'm hardly Ghandi but this game made me feel embarresed, I'd played it for about 5 minutes and there where hundreds of, well I wouldn't call them zombies, more like angry black people were chasing me, and I wanted to kill my Latin sidekick, Not black LATIN, fools at capcom wouldn't know the difference between Morgan Freeman and salt... yes salt...

All I'm saying is it's either angry Spanish, angry Blacks with the odd white guy thrown in, or their next game in Japan, that's my speculation. It's a KKK field day.

What happened to maddness fun from Capcom like the completely un-racist Dead Ris-Ohh wait Latin American super evil Genocidist.

Sorry, I ramble, BUT just get Capcom to be a little less racist and a little more fun based.

heh, top draw review.

That was one of Yahtzee's best. I was rolling on the floor throughout the whole thing.

... Though my dislike for RE after 4 might have something to do with it.

Fucking hilarious. I love it when games have annoying little flaws for yahtzee to pick at. On a note actually related to the game, 9 Inventory spaces? really? I would be totally screwed.

Great review, as always.

I think that inventory screen is to force the "survival horror" tag. You can only have so many healing items, ammo, etc. Therefore you have to use items carefully, a fact they probably dangle over your head with hoards of shuffling undead...things.

Edit: And HA! to your "din-din" comment. Haven't heard that one in ages.

At 4 minutes, can't stop laughing about the inventory system.

This was the best ZP episode! Really loved that "The fun begins!"

heh that was great btw i bet capcom loves u yatzee but other then that i liked this good job and keep it up

As far as I can see, story has never been one of Capcom's strengths. I'm playing Dead Rising, and the story is pretty weak. It's hardly surprising that the story in RE5 is weak as well.

Judging from a few images here and there, I thought your partner was a latino woman.

wow, i never had any of the problems you did, i played the game with a friend of course, the only thing i dont like is quick-time, but in all honesty, as long as you ignore the fact that the game has a story plot, its awesome.

I'm impressed. He actually stayed on topic and made some good points in this review.

Meagen:
Here's a thing. Picture a poor clueless newb stumbling into a forum and happily posting something like "I just played this game called Final Fantasy VII and I really liked it! Are there really six others? Do they have Sephiroth in them? I loved him, he was awesome!". He's new. He doesn't *know* the topic that he just discovered last week has been discussed for years. People have very strong opinions about it. Other people have equally strong, *opposing* opinions about it. Flamewars have raged for months. Friendships were broken forever. It is a fucking touchy subject. The post is not unlike stirring up an angry hornet's nest, assuming it doesn't get ignored as a troll in the first place.

Usually by the time you manage to explain all this to the newb, he tries to defend himself with "Well I didn't *know*, geez. Lay off already." You know what? No. No, the entire fucking population is not going to magically forget all the baggage attached to the topic just because you're a delicate little flower who couldn't spend five fucking minutes with an FAQ. If you come late to the party and start spouting obviously ignorant shit, you're going to get your ass toasted.

And the same applies even moreso if you get into a topic that actually has real fucking relevance, like racism. And ten times as much if you're a large gaming company instead of a random shlub with a keyboard and modem.

So no, "lol we didnt mean to be racist" is not a fucking defense, Capcom.

Having black people as zombies doesn't equal racism. It's only racist if you perceive it as racism.

This has got to be one of the best Zero Punctuation episodes I've seen. I laughed for almost the entire length. Looking forward to next weeks show.

I wholeheartely agree. RE4 is one of the best games I've ever played. RE5 felt like RE4, but it still felt like a departure from what made it excellent. The survival horror style is now more actiony and I found the controls awkward for that playstyle. The inventory is god-awful, and Sheva is just eye-candy, unless you play with a friend. The story and dialogue are hit-and miss, but I've come to accept that coming from Capcom.

AH! KKK.....oh it is a Capcom developer being a idiot. Oh well....

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