Zero Punctuation: Star Wars: Battlefront 2

Star Wars: Battlefront 2

This week, ZP reviews Star Wars: Battlefront 2.

Watch Video

Darth Maul is in this?

I never thought I'd see the day when I'd be rooting for the government to legislate video games either.

Oh crap Yahtzee, that's not a Y-Wing. Be prepared for 90% of the comments to point this out for the rest of eternity.

Canadamus Prime:
I never thought I'd see the day when I'd be rooting for the government to legislate video games either.

I think that should be the biggest indicator to anyone that the microtransactions have gone too far, that it's brought two natural enemies together with the power of shared contempt for the money grubbing, manipulative scumwads.

SirSullymore:
Oh crap Yahtzee, that's not a Y-Wing. Be prepared for 90% of the comments to point this out for the rest of eternity.

Nah, I won't harp on him for it. I'm just making a beeline for TV Tropes' Critical Research Failure entry for this show.

Johnny Novgorod:
Darth Maul is in this?

In multiplayer.
After you grind for him...or pay more money to skip the grinding.

Although, EA has taken some of the pay to win microtransactions out (for now), and improved how quickly you earn the in-game money to be used to buy stuff online (for now).
After everyone found out what they were doing and had to get European and Hawaiian politicians to call them out on their bullcrap.

OT: Fudge EA right in their cake hole.

Mikeybb:

Canadamus Prime:
I never thought I'd see the day when I'd be rooting for the government to legislate video games either.

I think that should be the biggest indicator to anyone that the microtransactions have gone too far, that it's brought two natural enemies together with the power of shared contempt for the money grubbing, manipulative scumwads.

"The enemy of my enemy is my friend"

Surprised he hasn't tackled COD WW2 yet, personally I liked the campaign in this game well enough that i'm eagerly waiting for the story DLC, but I never touched the MP and never will. Also i'm with Yahtzee on wanting the government to start regulating gambling in video games, it's really getting out of hand.

Johnny Novgorod:
Darth Maul is in this?

Yes he is.

Shame about not killing Ewoks in this game, because I have fond memories of doing that in the RTS Empire at War. First, launch a TIE Bomber run on their wimpy little treehouses, then send in Scout Troopers on their bikes to drop bombs and ride away, then finish them off with AT-STs, an AT-AT, Stormtroopers, and Darth Fucking Vader. I don't remember killing Ewoks in the older Battlefront II, the first one with a single-player campaign. In that one, you were the 501st Legion, the best of the best Clonetroopers, then Stormtroopers. Ah, what fond memories.

darkrage6:
Surprised he hasn't tackled COD WW2 yet, personally I liked the campaign in this game well enough that i'm eagerly waiting for the story DLC, but I never touched the MP and never will. Also i'm with Yahtzee on wanting the government to start regulating gambling in video games, it's really getting out of hand.

Give it time; he will. He has a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong-standing axe to grind with the CoD franchise.

Darth_Payn:
Shame about not killing Ewoks in this game, because I have fond memories of doing that in the RTS Empire at War. First, launch a TIE Bomber run on their wimpy little treehouses, then send in Scout Troopers on their bikes to drop bombs and ride away, then finish them off with AT-STs, an AT-AT, Stormtroopers, and Darth Fucking Vader. I don't remember killing Ewoks in the older Battlefront II, the first one with a single-player campaign. In that one, you were the 501st Legion, the best of the best Clonetroopers, then Stormtroopers. Ah, what fond memories.

You can in fact kill Ewoks in the real Battlefront 2, if you play as the Empire on the Endor map. However, it's extremely irritating, since they have three different attacks that all stagger you, and one of which is an instant kill. And they respawn infinitely, and killing them doesn't count against the enemy reinforcements, and thus doesn't actually help you win the game. It makes it really tough to win on Endor.

BFII really was the best.

Canadamus Prime:
"The enemy of my enemy is my friend"

To that, I respond "Osama Bin Laden."

Seriously, though, it's glad to see that people are finally not defending the microtransactions anymore. I've been against them since before even Jim Sterling started going on about the subject. Or at least since before I knew Jim Sterling was going on about it. I don't actually know for certain when he started.

Canadamus Prime:
I never thought I'd see the day when I'd be rooting for the government to legislate video games either.

These are interesting times, aren't they?

What, you fight on Endor, but don't shoot Ewoks?

I think my favorite portion of the EA Shitstorm revolving around this game was the bit where EA's CFO said that they couldn't put cosmetic options in the loot boxes because that would mess with SW canon. Apparently they're concerned about preserving the canon of SW in a game that allows you to have Rey fighting Darth Maul on Hoth.

It was made even funnier when a few hours after this statement, dataminers found loads of unimplemented cosmetic options buried in the game's files.

RJ Dalton:

Canadamus Prime:
"The enemy of my enemy is my friend"

To that, I respond "Osama Bin Laden."

Seriously, though, it's glad to see that people are finally not defending the microtransactions anymore. I've been against them since before even Jim Sterling started going on about the subject. Or at least since before I knew Jim Sterling was going on about it. I don't actually know for certain when he started.

I never really had a problem with microtransactions when they were just in Free-to-Play games as long as it wasn't a Pay-to-Win scenario. What I despair now is, like I mentioned in another thread, nothing is ever unlocked in-game by completing challenges anymore. It's all DLC or microtransactions. ...or both. Or these horrid lootboxes. Microtransactions have no place in a game that you already have to plunk down $60+ for. $80+ for us Canadians.

Infernai:

Canadamus Prime:
I never thought I'd see the day when I'd be rooting for the government to legislate video games either.

These are interesting times, aren't they?

I don't know if "interesting" is the word I would use.

erttheking:

SirSullymore:
Oh crap Yahtzee, that's not a Y-Wing. Be prepared for 90% of the comments to point this out for the rest of eternity.

Nah, I won't harp on him for it. I'm just making a beeline for TV Tropes' Critical Research Failure entry for this show.

Before you get all excited- after that he gives the TIE Fighter an even more vague 'wings' title that shows he's clearly not bothering. He probably put that in there specifically to put bees in the bonnets of the people who care about it too much.

If you really want to put something in under critical research failure- go after the bit where he said driving an AT-AT must be boring. If he'd ever played the real Star Wars Battlefront 2 from 2005, he'd know full well that driving an AT-AT is anything but.

Two questions:

1) What is a three letter swear word anyway?

2) So if an X Wing and a Y Wing love each other very much...

Hawki:
Two questions:

1) What is a three letter swear word anyway?

2) So if an X Wing and a Y Wing love each other very much...

Not sure about the first one, but I'm willing to bet the answer to 2 is an A Wing.

Or possibly an R2 unit

Is it just me or suddenly every Star Wars protagonist is a woman? Rey in Force Awakens, Jyn in Rogue One, Iden in Battlefront 2...

Johnny Novgorod:
Is it just me or suddenly every Star Wars protagonist is a woman? Rey in Force Awakens, Jyn in Rogue One, Iden in Battlefront 2...

Yeah but next film we're getting Han Solo again. Because apparently thats what everyone was asking for

Johnny Novgorod:
Is it just me or suddenly every Star Wars protagonist is a woman? Rey in Force Awakens, Jyn in Rogue One, Iden in Battlefront 2...

Retconning Leia being the only one before. Though those toys still won't sell...

Dalisclock:

Not sure about the first one, but I'm willing to bet the answer to 2 is an A Wing.

Or possibly an R2 unit

Nah... I'm not too up to date on all your E-Wings and W-Wings and whatnot, but I do know the lore clearly indicates that the X-wing is the halfway point BETWEEN the A-Wing and Y-wing, and I don't think the A-Wing is Appalachian enough to be its own grandpa. You get an A-wing when a Jedi Starfighter has a midlife crisis and has work done. I think that the offspring you're looking for is the ship from The Last Starfighter.

A-Wing, Y-Wing, S-Wing, Cunt-wings. I think the important thing here is we should all agree EA are a fine bunch of lads. Those crazy cunts, with their shenanigans. Back in my day, in the future, we sure did have a blast together. But I'm afraid, I was very, very, drunk.

I've fell out of watching the new ZP religiously every week, but I'm glad I came back for this one. I laughed out loud at least three times.

There's so much good material to make jokes out of with this game.

___________________:
A-Wing, Y-Wing, S-Wing, Cunt-wings. I think the important thing here is we should all agree EA are a fine bunch of lads. Those crazy cunts, with their shenanigans. Back in my day, in the future, we sure did have a blast together. But I'm afraid, I was very, very, drunk.

I think you meant Kotex with Wings. Cunts don't have wings.

Also, I remember a time when any game that was a movie or TV show tie-in was automatically considered trash. You wouldn't even look at it in the rental section of Blockbuster. And now here we are, with people complaining about a movie tie-in game being nothing more than a cash-grab aimed at fans of the movie. Do believe that's what it's supposed to be, kiddos.

EA with guniea pigs makes me wonder what horrors they were sujecting them to. With the collosal fuk-up (three letter swear word achieved), perhaps Disney and EA will nuke each other and save us the trouble.

 

Reply to Thread

Log in or Register to Comment
Have an account? Login below:
With Facebook:Login With Facebook
or
Username:  
Password:  
  
Not registered? To sign up for an account with The Escapist:
Register With Facebook
Register With Facebook
or
Register for a free account here