Zero Punctuation: Halo Wars

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I wonder how moderators will treat this post:

About the new ZP video I can say only one thing, and I'll use the quote from Yathzee:

Never stick your dick in a pudding, it might still be a perfectly good pudding, but noone will eat it BECAUSE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN IT.

I do apologise for the usage of the d words, but you allow this on your side anyhow, so I thought it is OK.

Ok. So I sat down with my girlfriend yesterday to watch ZP and the voice did not fit. so we turned the bloody thing off!!! Yes you give no indication as to what you do, and the intro (other guys) part is too long. We switched off around the bit with a brick wall.

It was only this morning that I decided to sit through the rest of that agony to allow for a more honest opinion and I suddenly hear the Yathzee's voice.

You at least should realise that it is perfectly right to turn this thing off the first thing you hear the alien voice.

Don't do that again, because 'when someone serves a dead dog for a dinner you dont stay around for a pudding...' Guess where I heard that!

Well the video was very funny because that end rant was pulled out of yesterday at my firneds house. XD. I do not watch unskippable and no i wont watch it after this. Nice try, Escapist. I heard very similar problems before about RTS not fitting in with CnC 3

Did anyone else notice that when he said that the 3 marines he had to rescue were absolutely NO ONE, one of them had Yug's face?

For those of you who don't know, Yug is one of Yahtzee's buddies that he does the show Game Damage with.

Gonzobot:

sarahvait:
Anyone else catch the Brandon Crisp reference? Apparantly Yahtzee fears neither man nor hell.

I was originally going to say it was too soon for the joke, but honestly, the news has made enough of a mockery. Besides, I laughed when he made the reference, and I didn't really feel too bad about it.

But I'm a little amazed that out of twelve pages of comments there is only one poster who even is aware of him. Don't you people read newspapers? Some info about Brandon Crisp for you noobs: http://www.barrieadvance.com/barrieadvance/article/120701

Well, it did go by pretty fast. I just barely caught the words, and I had to go back and pause the vid to read it. Too soon? Maybe. But the comment is actually kind of obscure unless you've read the story. I thought he was just making a general comment about the kind of fan base that likes Halo before I made the connection a second later. I did laugh, but I suppose that secretly I'm a terrible person only pretending to be kind and compassionate.

Was there as much coverage about Crisp in other countries as in the US and Canada? On the other hand, you can't miss much these days with the internet.

Hagasophia:
I wonder how moderators will treat this post:

About the new ZP video I can say only one thing, and I'll use the quote from Yathzee:

Never stick your dick in a pudding, it might still be a perfectly good pudding, but noone will eat it BECAUSE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN IT.

I do apologise for the usage of the d words, but you allow this on your side anyhow, so I thought it is OK.

Ok. So I sat down with my girlfriend yesterday to watch ZP and the voice did not fit. so we turned the bloody thing off!!! Yes you give no indication as to what you do, and the intro (other guys) part is too long. We switched off around the bit with a brick wall.

It was only this morning that I decided to sit through the rest of that agony to allow for a more honest opinion and I suddenly hear the Yathzee's voice.

You at least should realise that it is perfectly right to turn this thing off the first thing you hear the alien voice.

Don't do that again, because 'when someone serves a dead dog for a dinner you dont stay around for a pudding...' Guess where I heard that!

Isn't the fact that this video was coming to us on April Fool's Day enough of an indication that something of a prank would be played on the viewers?

Everybody forward to 2:03, that's when Yahtzee comes on and it's actually watchable.

After Bull F****** Shit I was laughing the entire time.
Also, the transition was hilarious too.
"And the music... F***"
"RARGH I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE!"
"Oooh crap"

Dear Graham,

Please rerecord this with a silly british accent. Also, a bit slower.

Thank you.

sarahvait:

Hagasophia:
I wonder how moderators will treat this post:

About the new ZP video I can say only one thing, and I'll use the quote from Yathzee:

Never stick your dick in a pudding, it might still be a perfectly good pudding, but noone will eat it BECAUSE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN IT.

I do apologise for the usage of the d words, but you allow this on your side anyhow, so I thought it is OK.

Ok. So I sat down with my girlfriend yesterday to watch ZP and the voice did not fit. so we turned the bloody thing off!!! Yes you give no indication as to what you do, and the intro (other guys) part is too long. We switched off around the bit with a brick wall.

It was only this morning that I decided to sit through the rest of that agony to allow for a more honest opinion and I suddenly hear the Yathzee's voice.

You at least should realise that it is perfectly right to turn this thing off the first thing you hear the alien voice.

Don't do that again, because 'when someone serves a dead dog for a dinner you dont stay around for a pudding...' Guess where I heard that!

Isn't the fact that this video was coming to us on April Fool's Day enough of an indication that something of a prank would be played on the viewers?

Apparently, people no longer have a sense of humor, having it removed when they turned 10 because it somehow got infected. Probably by eating too much dirt outside when their mum's were telling them not to. Unfortunately, they also seemed to have created a humorless vaccination which was sold to parents, so now most people from 15 to 32 are complete devoid of any indication of JFC PEOPLE IT WAS AN APRIL FOOL'S JOKE FFS.

i figured it was a april fools joke, and i enjoyed it. I'm sure Yahtzee's shoes are hard ones to fill, and I didn't take the first review like a stab to the heart. It made me laugh. I think the unskippable guys did a good job.

I've never played a RTS on a console before, I remember Warcraft, Starcraft, Command and Conquer and I can't imagine pulling off all the controls and mouse control on a console system. I wonder how they can adapt and make it easier for RTS games on consoles.

Great ZP video. I think the Unskipable guest part was well implemented.

nice episode, but the unskippable guy cant fill your shoes. Unless you are critically ill or die or something please dont put me through that again. btw i agree RTS sucks.

P.s i dont want you to die, or get critically ill, just stop fucking around with something which i consider flawless. =)

6:00 same thing happened to me...

Hah... another good one! I preordered this crap for my kid but hey, he'll play anything that involves strategy and guns.

i Applaud all three of them, Both sets Of movies did Exactly what Expectations i had: be Entertaining

Halo sucks. The entire series started with a run-of-the-mill FPS which should have had no sequels to continue on its legacy of bland shittiness. You know what also sucks? Any farking RTS on a console. RTS games must be played on a PC for them to have any value whatsoever. No ifs, ands, or buts. Therefore, without ever having played the game, or even having played the demo for that matter, I can say with one-hundred percent certainty that Halo Wars is one of the worst games ever made. Right up there with Paperboy 64 and Superman 64.

Yahtzee, even if you don't care for them, please review a REAL RTS, IE Warcraft 3. It doesn't take long to learn the basics, especially if you're just playing the campaign. The story is actually interesting (until it was ruined by WoW), and the controls are much more intuitive and fully customizable.

So, how long until we get a Yahtzee:Doomsday-Arcade crossover? Melbourne and Brisbane aren't THAT far apart are they?! *looks innocent*

McClaud:

Apparently, people no longer have a sense of humor, having it removed when they turned 10 because it somehow got infected.

I love the fact that not only do they think it was not a joke, they also seem to assume it was some wicked ploy by The Escapist or Unskippable to takeover Zero Punctuation, and that Yahtzee can't have been consulted on it, because he would never do that to his fans.

I didn't find halo wars such a great game. Yet im sorry either you didn't watch the cut scenes or your entirely fucking retarded. The game completely explained why you only had a limited amount of time to complete the mission and you lost contact with the ship not your troops on the ground u twat. Anyways good review.

i rather enjoyed the new addition it would be fun to have them review together perhaps, but then again something like that would require a lot of planning

the timer is a pain in the ass but keep at it thye ending of the campain in wotrh it and the last few cutscenecs are as well

Loved the;
"Awwww...Crap"
"Ah...Ok...Halo Wars!"
Bit.

Hmm I'll admit that level with the timer was a bit challenging, and i had to play it on the easiest difficulty. All you need to do is pull a massive Scorpion tank rush and then use them to guard the Flood spawns from regenerating, then retrieve and pull your units in from across the map.

Brownie101:
Loved the;
"Awwww...Crap"
"Ah...Ok...Halo Wars!"
Bit.

Funniest, Part, Ever.

nonononono theres a reason we don't watch unskippable and that's because the guy makes us feel, awkward. Stalking stiltedly about bugger all and his actual opinions are more mental masterbation than actual point. Yhatzee has a couple things on his side:

1. Genuine displeasure on how games are made nowadays
2. Rage
3. A unique viewpoint that when thought upon makes a lot of marketable sense for games, and hell if you want his idea of *GAMES ARE JUST PUSHED OUT AND THUS MADE BAD* credo, look at the antithesis of it; blizzard. Their mantra of "its done when its done" proves him right.

Sorry, but when you come across homely, self serving and overall no message, my actual attention span wanes to the point of waxing.

Never again.

I can understand why you don't like like RTS's or RPG's, Yahtzee, but saying that they're only played by losers is what a 7-year-old would say on the school playground. All gamers have different tastes. Don't rip on other people for liking something different than you.

ZP and Unskippable.

Unskippable and ZP.

...

Congratulations, good sirs. You have just made my week. :D

There's a reason nobody watches unskippable.. When I put my dolls together and make them do funny voices and post it on youtube - nobody watches. Why? Because it's boring. Lets please keep that loser out of Escapist's guide.

I think he did great guest starring ^^
As for X-blades and Halo wars..
Ill never give x-blades a chance. Just, no.
And Halo wars, is a no-no aswell, since I'm a firm believer in rts+pc = right way to do it.

Great episode.

Awesome, loved the Battle Royale reference and the panda joke at the end. Nice one.

I generally don't watch unskippable but I thought that Graham did a better job than Yahtzee this week.

Yahtzee has more fanboys these days than halo. What's with all the unskippable hate?

Big fan of RTS, big fan of this review (both of them).

There is a little truth that Yahtzee has been a little weak on the comedy. But hearing Graham speaking like that, trying to review a game, just made my head want to explode. He's funny in Unskippable, but now he was just putting on the annoying commercial voice, and read off Yahtzee's script.

This video added some brightness to an otherwise bland April Fool's Day. Other than that, not much more praise can be added that hasn't already been said.

keen55:
There's a reason nobody watches unskippable.. When I put my dolls together and make them do funny voices and post it on youtube - nobody watches. Why? Because it's boring. Lets please keep that loser out of Escapist's guide.

Hmm, that sounds more like a description of Kung-Fu Grip rather than Unskippable.

most comments EVER!

but is it because its halo? or the crossover?

hmmmmm...

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